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| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Keagan: Yes it is! Now that you have a kid, your life is not your own! Don't you MISS making decisions based on what YOU want? / Lightning Lady: We're invited to the Millers' Tuesday.
/ Keagan: Sorry, hon, that's poker night. / [[Lightning Lady glowers]] / Keagan: O-Of course, I can always reschedule... I'll reschedule... / Mac: Don't you MISS making decisions based on what YOU want?
/ Keagan: I want to live. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050629.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Lightning Lady: Have you or Mac found a new job, yet?
/ Samantha: Nope... and it's not looking good. / Lightning Lady: If you're thinking about going back into public relations, I know of an opening at the company I started working for. / Mac: Lightning Lady, this note just scooted out from under your hall closet. / Lightning Lady: Heh!...Mice...
/ Samantha: Mac! They're looking for a P.R. person at EVIL, INC!
/ Mac: I'll bet they ARE. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050630.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Lightning Lady: G'night! Thanks for coming! [[Waves to Mac, Sam, and baby Oz as the three exit Lightning Lady's house.]] / Lightning Lady: Oh, Keagan! Mac and Sam seem so happy! And their baby is adorable! / Lightning Lady: Do you think you'd like to make a baby someday? / Keagan: If I say "no," is it okay if we still practise? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050701.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Samantha: Maybe we should think about this. I could take the P.R. position and you could stay home with Oz. / Samantha: To be honest, I've been prepareing to re-enter the work force for a while... I even bought a breast pump. / [[Mac leers lecherously.]] / Samantha: IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF PUMP! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050702.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Lightning Lady follows a sign for the "Break Room" only to find two men holding another man, about to swing a baseball bat at their victim's knees.]] Thug: Oh! I'm sorry... the room for COFFEE breaks is down the hall. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050704.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Iron Dragon: Excuse me, do you have change for a ten? / Miss Match: ...but this is a five dollar bill...
/ Iron Dragon: Yes. I know. / Miss Match: So why did you need change for a ten? / Iron Dragon: I was talking about myself. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050705.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Iron Dragon [[from inside a vending machine]]: Ouch! Wha'd ja do THAT for?
/ Miss Match: For hitting on me an' being creepy an' junk. / Iron Dragon: What's it gonna take to get me outta this vending machine?
/ Miss Match: Change. / Iron Dragon: < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050706.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Lightning Lady: Am I interrupting something?
/ Miss Match: Heh. No.
/ [[Miss Match is standing prouding in front of the vending machine into which she just stuffed the overly-flirtatious Iron Dragon.]] / Miss Match: He got fresh, so I stuffed him into the vending machine. / Lightning Lady: So is that your super power -- a keen mastery of the ironic? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050707.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Miss Match: My Name's Miss Match, but my friends call me Emma.
/ Lightning Lady: Hi, Emma, I'm Lightning Lady. / Miss Match: Lightni -- it IS you! Og my God! I'm, like, your biggest fan!
/ Lightning Lady: Thanks, Emma! / Miss Match: What are YOU doing here? Do you WORK here, now?!
/ Lightning Lady: I'm the new receptionist, Emma. / Miss Match: I remember reading about you when I was a little girl in Grade school!
/ Lightning Lady: Well... I'ld better be going, Miss Match... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050708.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Harry Nukkle [[Miss Match's boss]]: Did you forget you had a presentation today?
/ Miss Match: I needed some coffee. Relax. / Evil Atom: Ah, there you are. I was about to leave. Shall we start?
/ Miss Match: Yes, sir.
/ [[Nukkle strains and turns invisible.]] / Miss Match [[to Nukkle]]: Y'know, i HATE it when you do that.
/ Harry Nukkle : How do you think I became department head around here? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050709.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Harry Nukkle {{Miss Match's boss}}: Miss Match has been studying Captain Heroic. / [[Miss Match is addressing a conference room full of villains, including Evil Atom and Dr. Haynus.]]
/ Miss Match: Little is known about the origins of Captain heroic. our research indicates he may have been a millionaire playboy technological genius who was granted a magical weapon by a race of highly-developed aliens after seeing his parents murdered by a radioactive insect sent to Earth by a dying planet. / Evil Atom: Hedging our bets, are we?
/ Miss Match: Landscaping them, sir. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050711.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Miss Match [[addressing a conference room full of villains]]: Captain Heroic is fairmount city’s most prominent superhero. he exhibits super strength and the ability to fly. His gauntlets emit force beams. / Evil Atom: Ooh! gauntlets! What I wouldn’t have given for gauntlets! When I was starting out, my mom knitted me a pair of laser mittens / Evil Atom: She insisted on clipping them to the sleeves of my costume with strands of yarn. / Evil Atom: Didja ever try to pull a bank heist wearing mittens? It’s impossible! ... Ya
/ can’t do the hand signals! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050712.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Miss Match [[addressing a conference room full of villains]]: A few statistics on Captain Heroic... / Miss Match: He’s six-foot-eight, weighs two-ten, right-handed -- but has a solid left jab. He can bench about three tons and fly at mach 1. / Miss Match: He’s got a thwarting percentage of .676 with an earned-run-away-average of 3.108. / Miss Match: He’s 56 for 83 overall, with six stalemates and ten villains left on base ...of course, four of those bases were exploding... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050713.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Miss Match is leading a presentation on Capt. Heroic in a conference room full of villains]] / Evil Atom: Have we discovered Captain heroic’s secret identity? / Miss Match [[in front of a screen showing many Capt.-Heroic-like faces]]: We ran that through the latest digital imaging software...
/ Evil Atom: GLASSES! -- just as we feared!
/ Dr. Haynus: Johnson in accounting wears glasses...
/ Evil Atom: GADS! That’s right! he does! / [[All of the villains run out of the room]]: Get ‘im, boys!
/ [[off-screen voice]]: ARRRGGGHH!
/ Dr. Haynus [[to self]]: Deny my request for a private hydrant, will you, Johnson? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050714.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Miss Match: Everyone started chasing Johnson because they thought he might be Captain Heroic...
/ Harry Nukkle [[Miss Match's boss]]: Yup. looks like the meeting has broken up... / [[off camera]]: AARRGGHHHH!!
/ Nukkle: Specifically, the meeting has broken johnson’s arm...
/ Miss Match: but... Captain Heroic... / Miss Match: I have more information on his alter ego. he might not wear glasses at all!
/ Nukkle: No! Stop! information is responsibility! form a committee! / Miss Match: He might even wear a wig.
/ Nukkle: I’m not here I’m not here I’m not here!! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050715.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Miss Match [[to self]]: Where are you right now, Captain Heroic? Are you walking among us in your civilian disguise? / Miss Match [[to self]]: Probably enjoying yourself on a sunny afternoon like this. / Miss Match [[to self]]: Maybe you have that certain someone special in your arms... / Capt. Heroic's son: Daddy, i pooped. It’s a big one.
/ Capt. Heroic [[in civilian identity]]: Y’know, there’s some things a guy doesn’t need x-ray vision for. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050716.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Captain Heroic [[in civilian identity]]: Y'know, Squirt, you're gonna be three years old soon. Don't you want to use the potty like Daddy? / Captain Heroic's son: I can't, Daddy.
/ Captain Heroic: Howcome? / Captain Heroic's son:I can't read. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050718.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Flashback, Capt. Heroic, in his civilian identity holds his wife's hand as she labors to deliver her baby.]] / Captain Heroic's wife {{later revealed to be Miss Match}}: < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050719.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Capt. Heroic, civilian guise [[to self]]: Look out, ladies... handsome guy and a cute kid coming through! / Capt. Heroic, civilian guise [[to self]]: That's right! Get an eyeful! / Capt. Heroic, civilian guise [[to self]]: Nothing like a walk through the park to remind a guy that he's still got it.
/ Capt. Heroic's son [[to self]]: ...and "it" would like an ice cream... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050720.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Capt. Heroic, civilian guise [[reading a book to son]]: ahem... "Percy and the Dragon." It was late... Percy was asleep... / Capt. Heroic's son: No no no no, Daddy. Do it right!
/ Capt. Heroic, civilian guise [[reading a book to son]]:< http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050721.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Capt. Heroic, civilian guise: So, what do you want for breakfast, sport?
/ Capt. Heroic's son: I Don't know... / Capt. Heroic, civilian guise: H'mmmm... how about a popsicle? / Capt. Heroic's son: You can't eat popsicles for breakfast!
/ Capt. Heroic, civilian guise: Really? Why not? / Capt. Heroic's son: They'ld melt in the toaster. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050722.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Capt. Heroic, civilian guise [[looking into bathroom mirror]]: I-I'm a s--
/ [[Figure in forground, holding a director's clapper]]: CUT! / Capt. Heroic, civilian guise [[looking into bathroom mirror]]:I'm a st-st-
/ [[Figure in forground, holding a director's clapper]]:CUT! / Capt. Heroic, civilian guise [[looking into bathroom mirror]]:I.. well, you could say that I'm... um...
/ [[Figure in forground, holding a director's clapper]]:CUT! / Capt. Heroic, civilian guise [[looking into bathroom mirror]]:I'm a st-st-stay-
/ [[Figure in forground, holding a director's clapper]]:CUT! / Capt. Heroic, civilian guise [[looking into bathroom mirror]]:I'm a stay-at-home dad.
/ Capt. Heroic's son [[holding director's clapper]]: Great. Can we go out and play now? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050723.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Sight gag: Lightning Lady stands in a coffee-break room and look past the urns marked "Regular," "Decaf," and "Antidote," and she sees two, trembling arms reaching upwards from the floor with an empty cup.]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050725.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Sign on the door reads "Super Human Resources"]] / Evil Inc Human Resources manager: Well, you certainly are the prettiest applicant for the director of public relations position. / Evil Inc HR manager: ...and what is your super power?
/ Samantha: Huh?
/ Evil Inc HR manager: Super powers. Many of our employees have them. / Samantha: Well, I have the ability to create a substance that can sustain life, fight infections, improve immune systems and strengthen people. / Evil Inc HR manager: ...and the source of this power?
/ Samantha: You've been staring at them since I walked in... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050726.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Evil Inc Super Human Resources manager: How will you continue breastfeeding if you're hired?
/ Samantha: That's MY problem. I'ld rather focus on my qualifications. / Evil Inc HR manager: O.K., but you do realise that you cannot bring children to the workplace.
/ Samantha: I do. / Evil Inc HR manager: Good. It would be inappropiate in an office setting like this. THe crying... the tantrums... the yelling... / Evil Inc HR manager: I mean... It would just scare small kids. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050727.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Evil Inc Super Human Resources manager: I need to make sure you understand this: We are a corporation of super-villains.
/ Samantha: I need to make THIS clear: I need this job. / Samantha: Besides, as a P.R. person, I'll consider this my greatest challenge. / Evil Inc HR manager: Sam, we have people working on a death ray that only effects grandmothers seventy-three and older! / Samantha: "For immediate release: Evil Inc. doing it's part to alleviate Social Security crisis."
/ Evil Inc Super HR manager: You... are... so... hired... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050728.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Evil Inc. Super Human Resources manager: So you're comfortable as Evil Inc's Public Relations Director?
/ Samantha: I think I can handle it. / Evil Inc. Super Human Resources manager: You're going to be asked to justify very questionable acts to the public.
/ Samantha: No different than any other P.R. job I've held. / Evil Inc. Super Human Resources manager: I just want you going into this position with open eyes.
/ Samantha: Let me ask you a question... / Samantha: How many of Evil Inc's plan have gone unstopped by superheroes?
/ Evil Inc. Super Human Resources manager: heh... Just don't say that in front of our shareholders. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050729.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Evil Inc helpdesk, on the phone]]
/ Lightning Lady: Evil Inc....how may I misdirect your call? Oh, hi Doctor Druid... what? A typographical error in one of our books? / Lightning Lady: Lemme call the manuscript up. Ok.... "The Big Book Of Incantations." Got it. You're on chapter ten? I see it: Summoning two humongous beasts...what's wrong with that? / Lightning Lady: Whoops...I see it now There shouldn't be an "R" in "beasts", should there? / Lightning Lady: Well, what you DO with them is up to you. But I don't think the Fox Network has finalized it's prime time lineup yet... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050730.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Lightning Lady: You have a nine-thirty meting. It's summer intern orientation.
/ Evil Atom: Yeesh. Those kids seem to get younger every year! / Lightning Lady: That's NATURAL, sir. We all view the world through peer groups. We identify with our OWN peer group and those whose AGES we're approaching. / Lightning Lady: As we lose the ability to identify with younger peer sets, they become INCREASINGLY foreign.
/ Evil Atom: What should I say to 'em? / Lightning Lady: Talk about what's on the tube. / [[Evil Atom enters a room with a "Welcome Interns" banner overhead. Instead of people, the room appears full of person-sized eggs and sperm.]] / Evil Atom: Did she mean "boob --" or "fallopian --"?
/ Random sperm: Shh! He's here! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050801.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Intern: FOOLS! They'll RUE the day they crossed me!! / Evil Atom: Nice. Good inflection... but did everybody see where he was standing? Wanna try again? / Intern [[mostly sihouetted and back-lit]]: FOOLS! They'll RUE the day they crossed me!! / Evil Atom: MUCH better. Let's review. / [[Points to chalkboard with the following written: Supervillain ranting: (1) Keep head down, (2) Compact body language, (3) always make use of backlighting.]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20050802.html |
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