You're browsing the archives of Evil Inc.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Outside play area at Evil, Inc. day care. Oscar, in his super suit, is at bat in a baseball game. Another child, the catcher, is behind him.]]
/ Catcher: C'MON! GIVE HIM THE OL' HEAT! / [[A huge flame passes Oscar from the direction of the pitcher.]] / [[Larger shot of the scene shows Oscar still standing (with a force field around him?), the catcher lying on the ground and seared by the flame, and the pitcher, who is a young
/ Godzilla.]]
/ Catcher: Throw...the...ball. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080130.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Outside play area at Evil, Inc. day care. Oscar, in his super suit, is at bat. The catcher is a child with horns and pointy ears.]]
/ Catcher: Ball!
/ [[Ball whizzes past Oscar.]] / Catcher: Ball!
/ [[Ball whizzes past Oscar.]] / [[Catcher looks surprised as a grenade hits his mitt.]]
/ Catcher: Grenade! / < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080131.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Outside play area of Evil, Inc. day care. Oscar, in his super suit, has hit a baseball hard. The catcher, a child with horns and pointy ears, and the pitcher, a young Godzilla, look up at the ball.]]
/ Catcher: Good hit, Oscar! / [[Oscar, catcher, and pitcher look up.]] / < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080201.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Personnel File: Craniac / Real Name: Carl Obdulluski / Origin: His father was a leader in genetic engineering. In trying to create the perfect baby, he treated his wife with a genetic mutation formula. / Partnerships: His nanny. The partnership dissolved because she had a tendency to snicker during diaper-changing time. / Powers: Craniac has an intellect far beyond normal humans. However, his body and social skills are that of a normal six-year-old child. Just like every other smart guy you ever met. Only moreso. And evil. / History: Craniac has learned to speak, walk, tinkle in the potty, and handle nuclear weaponry. When this kid has an accident, everybody else wets themselves. / Age: 6
/ Height: 4'1"
/ Weight: 55 lbs.
/ Family: Withheld http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080202.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Evil Atom is behind his desk, talking to Desdemona]]
/ Desdemona: The board meeting starts in five minutes.//Evil Atom: Is everyone here? / Desdemona: Galactus cancelled. He stopped off for breakfast and ran into problems. / [[Galactus and the Silver Surfer are in space. The Silver Surfer is holding up a menu saying "Menu: Pluto"]]
/ Galactus: *ahem* ... I am NOT the devourer of FORMER planets! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080204.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | EVIL ATOM: Is everyone assembled for the board meeting?
/ DESDEMONA: Lex was here, but he left. / DESDEMONA: He misplaced a bunch of his electronic listening devices.
/ EVIL ATOM: Heh. He'll never see THOSE again. / LIZARD: FINDERS KEEPERS! LUTHOR'S BEEPERS! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080205.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Evil Atom addressing Board members]]
/ Evil Atom: Members of the Board...I'm here to tell you that Evil Inc is BACK! After two consecutive quarters in the red, we're finally profitable again. / Evil Atom: Our catalog is stronger than ever, and our services have been brought back to target their original goals. / [[Board members stand rubbing their hands together]]
/ Board members: Excellent!
/ Evil Atom: Wow! A standing "E." http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080206.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Evil Inc. Department meeting with random villains and Evil Atom]]
/ Evil Atom: We have serious competition for the first time in years. Oculore's Villain Supply and a couple smaller internet start-ups are cutting into our business.
/ Henchwoman: Have you tried to buy him out?
/ Evil Atom: Oculore's not selling. He's out for blood. / Evil Atom: We've got to restructure our business to compensate for this development, and we have to do it now... / [[View from orbit with an object falling into the atmosphere, with a voice over by Evil Atom]]]
/ Evil Atom: "...we just can't wait for something to fall out of the sky." http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080207.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Multi-paned window in the conference room at Evil Inc. Two of the panes have been shattered by an incoming baseball.]] / Evil Atom: That's a brilliant idea! We should be focusing on the next generation of villainous consumer! / Evil Atom [thinking, pulling at his lip]: We can build the EVIL INC DAY CARE into a full-fledged charter school! / Evil Atom [[speaking to three other villains, including the Penguin, seated at the conference table]]: And we can make sure our products and services are part of the curriculum! Shall we throw anything else against the wall and see what sticks?
/ Horned skull-faced villain [indicating a fourth villain dashed unconscious against the far wall, still-smoking baseball on his chest]: I think we've got enough stuck to the wall as it is. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080208.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Death Skull poses for the camera]] EVIL INC. PERSONNEL FILE: DEATH SKULL / Age: 46 / Height: 6'1" / Weight: 189 lbs. / Family: Unknown / REAL NAME: Snx'Thaal / Howard is denizen of one of the outer circles of Hades. He has been sent to earth as a consultant to Evil Inc. / PARTNERSHIPS: Evil Inc, Lucifer / POWERS: Death Skull is able to project an anti-life ray from his eyes. This ray steals some or all the life force from any organism. / HISTORY: Finding the rigors of everyday life in Hades a bit tedious, Snx'thaal applied for an opening as a consultant to Evil-doers on Earth. He has since experience the rigors of everyday Corporate America. However, his old position has been filled and he is denied entry back to the underworld. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080209.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | JOYCE: Fang-Boy, I want to see you after class, please.
/ FANG-BOY (tiny voice): Yes, ma'm...OK... / JOYCE (watching him walk away): Oh, to be that genuine and earnest again, that a simple phrase could strike such a chord. / DESDEMONA: Evil Atom wants to see you at the end of the day. / [[JOYCE instantly reverts to childhood and has the same expression as FANG-BOY in panel 1.]]
/ JOYCE (tiny voice): Yes, ma'am...OK... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080211.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | {{Panel 1}}
/ [[Evil Atom and Joyce Trey peer through the stage door at a collection of villains and monsters who sit in front of the stage.]]
/ Evil Atom: I'VE GATHERED ALL THE NEW TEACHERS FOR THE EVIL INC CHARTER SCHOOL. IN THE FRONT ROW, YOU CAN EVEN SEE OUR NEW KINDERGARTEN TEACHER. / {{Inset to panel 1}}
/ Joyce Trey: AM I GETTING THE AXE, THEN? / {{Panel 2}}
/ [[Evil Atom hands Joyce a wicked looking double-bladed hand axe.]]
/ Evil Atom: YES. AND AS THE PRINCIPAL, IF ANY OF THOSE GUYS GIVE YOU ANY TROUBLE, I EXPECT YOU TO {{bold}}USE{{/bold}} IT. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080212.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Joyce and Evil Atom talking]] Joyce: You want ME to be the principal of a school for supervillians? / Joyce: I'm a Kindergarten teacher... I don't know anything about older kids - Let alone teens. / Evil Atom: Don't worry. We're not handling high school yet... We're keeping it "K-through-Eight." / Evil Atom: SIX, with good behavior. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080213.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | JOYCE: I can't be in charge of an all-super-villain school. I don't have super powers! / EVIL ATOM: LISTEN, LADY! I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY! DO YOU WANT THIS JOB OR NOT?! / [[JOYCE gives him The Look.]] / [[EVIL ATOM shrinks down to child size under her steely gaze.]]
/ EVIL ATOM (little voice): Is that a "yes?" http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080214.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Joyce Trey [[speaking to teacher assembly]]: ...and as the principal of Evil Inc. Elementary, I want to assure you... / Joyce: EDUCATION--not indoctrination--will be our highest priority. It is our DUTY to help these young people to grow--not predetermine what they'll grow INTO. / Voice from the back [[in ornate type]]: snoitatum fo esac eht ni tuoba tahW? / Joyce: Yes, that goes for mutation, too. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080215.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Title]]
/ Evil Inc Personnel File: Joyce Trey / Age: 56
/ Height: 5'5"
/ Weight@ 149 lbs
/ Family: Trevor (Son) / Real Name: Joyce Trey
/ Origin: Joyce is the mother of Trevor, the former intern/associate producer of "Greystone Inn".
/ Partnerships: Earl, ex-husband.
/ Powers: No remarkable powers other than those of a standard elementary-school teacher. She is feared by all.
/ History: Joyce had experience running a daycare ~ A job she left to raise her son, Trevor. After Trevor graduated college, she returned to run the Evil Inc daycare. She was so proficient at handling metahuman conflicts that Evil Atom places her in charge of the entire Evil Inc charter school. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080216.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Desdemona is behind her desk, on the phone to Evil Atom]]
/ Desdemona: The contractor is here is see you, sir./Evil Atom: Is he here to tell me the repairs to my building are finally done?
/ [[Camera angle changes so as to see the contractor sitting down, smiling]]
/ Desdemona: He didn't say, sir./Evil Atom: Is he smiling or frowning? / Desdemona: Smiling, sir. broadly. / Evil Atom: *Sigh*, send him in anyway. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080218.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Evil Atom: ALMOST DONE?! You've been almost done for the past TWO MONTHS!
/ Contractor [[lit cigar in mouth]]: You know how it is... / Contractor: Old building like this... there's a lot of problems behind these walls... Bad wiring... Old cable... Water damage... / [[Scene shifts to another room. Three workers surround a hole in the wall, behind which are wires, studs, and a costumed skeleton.]]
/ Worker [[into walkie-talkie]]: Tell the foreman we got another "Amontillado Special."
/ Contractor [[voice-over]]: ...The odd informant... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080219.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Evil Atom is talking to Stan Burheid]]
/ Evil Atom: How much longer before my building is finished?!/Stan Burheid: Two~three days. / Evil Atom: Does that mean "Two OR Three Days," or is it two SETS of three day periods, or TWENTY-THREE days? / Stan Burheid: Depends/Evil Atom: On what? / Stan Burheid: On how long it took. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080220.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[TWO-SHOT: Evil Atom and Stan Burheid]]
/ Burheid: Listen, Mr. Atom, we're almost finished with the job. We just need to discuss the clock. / Burheid: See...they don't manufacture these parts anymore, and all the gears are worn and corroded. We're not gonna be able to replace it. / Burheid: Didn't you people ever do any maintenance up there?
/ Evil Atom: Well...um... / Burheid [[grinning]]: I would have figured you guys got your clocks cleaned regularly.
/ Evil Atom: Only on the battlefield... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080221.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Evil Atom and Stan Burheid are still arguing in Evil Atom's office.]]
/ Evil Atom: Don't get me wrong...the building looks fine, but you're WAY over budget!
/ Stan Burnheid: Hey. An estimate is just that: a GUESS. You can't hold a guy to a guess. / [[Evil Atom is flying outside Evil Inc. building, holding Stan Burnheid by the shirt.]]
/ Evil Atom: You'd better hope I hold you PERIOD. Of course, we're only five feet off the ground by MY estimate... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080222.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Title]] / Evil Inc Personnel File: Stan Burheid
/ Age: 67 / Height: 5'3" / Weight@ 230 lbs / Family: Wife, Frieda
/ Real Name: Stan Burheid / Origin: Attended trade school on the G.I. bill. Went on to found Boa Contractors ("Putting the squeeze on you since 1976"). / Partnerships: Sub-contracts several jobs to assorted henchmen and goons. / Powers: Master carpenter, world-class bowler. / History: During a "Lazy Susan" installation at Dr. Venom's Tennessee lair, he found out he had a flair for evil carpentry. Since that fateful days, he has installed death rays, laser-wielding shark pools, trap-doors, hidden revolving doors and several dozen kitchen remodelling jobs. He is known as the "Picasso of Linoleum". http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080223.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[A television screen, with the caption 'Dr. Arsenic. Former Evil Inc Customer']]
/ Dr. Arsenic: It got so bad, I would include the "thwart" in my plans. / Dr. Arsenic: Same old equipment... Same old schemes... Same old results... I always ended up standing there, saying, "I'll get you NEXT time...". / Dr. Arsenic: Then I found out that there was an option ~ one that wouldn't let me down... / [[Evil Atom is standing in front of the television screen]]
/ Dr. Arsenic: Villain Zone... Next time is THIS time, ALL the time. Formerly Oculore's Villain Supply.
/ Evil Atom: Oculore, I'll get you ne~ / [[Evil Atom looks behind himself]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080225.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[A television screen, with the caption 'Skullox. Former Evil Inc Customer']] / Skullox: I had Capt. Victory in my sites. Slowly, I squeezed the trigger on my Evil Inc atom scrambler gun... aaaaand... / Skullox: NOTHING! Worse yet: "The Lifetime Warranty" was voided because I couldn't prove I was technically alive! / [[The television shows a logo saying "Villain Zone"]]
/ Skullox: Now there's a better way! Come to Villain Zone, where next time is THIS time ALL the time. Formerly Oculore's Villain Supply. / [[Skullox is holding up a blue cape with a red and yellow symbol on it]]
/ Skullox: Thanks to Villain Zone, I voided one more lifetime warranty... Capt. Victory's. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080226.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Desdemona pulls the cord to raise the mini blinds in Evil Atom's office. Evil Atom sits in a high-backed chair, nervous and pondering, in the foreground]]Desdemona: Sir, you should see this. More Villain Zone ads. These attack us directly. / [[Outside, a squadron of jet fighters with propoganda/ad banners attached, waving declarations such as "Thwart Evil Inc.", "Better Prices", "30% Charging", etc., attack the tower guns-a-blazing]] / [[Back inside the office, Evil Atom joins Desdemona at the window]] Evil Atom: That's unbelievable.
/ Desdemona: Yeah. 30% on amulet charging is hard to beat... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080227.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Desdemona looking out window in Evil Atom's office]] / Desdemona: Why change the name to "Villain Zone?" / Evil Atom: It's a good move. Oculore doesn't have name recognition. He doesn'y have an identifiable face. Or a face. / Desdemona: But why now? And why the bid ad push? / Evil Atom: Of COURSE! He's hired a marketing team! / Evil Atom: Where's MY marketing team? / Desdemona: Working overtime on the Gorgon case. / [[Scene changes to Samantha addressing a press conference, with a large creature, Gorgon, standing behind her in a suit.]] / Off-camera voice: Can you comment on the reampage through the downtown area? / Samanth: No thanks necessary. Seeing the city grasp this chance for renewal is thanks enough. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080228.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | DESDEMONA: Why change the name to "Villain Zone?"
/ EVIL ATOM: It's a good move. Oculore doesn't have name recognition. He doesn't have an identifiable face.
/ Or a face. / DESDEMONA: But why now? And why the big ad push?
/ EVIL ATOM: Of COURSE! He's hired a marketing team! / EVIL ATOM: Where's MY marketing team?
/ DESDEMONA: Working overtime on the Gorgon case. / [[Cut to PRESS CONFERENCE.]]
/ REPORTER (off panel): Can you comment on the rampage through the downtown area?
/ SAMANTHA: No thanks necessary. Seeing the city grasp this chance for renewal is thanks enough. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080228.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[A moster, a PR person (Samantha) and a bald man stand at a podium, addressing a press conferemce]] / Voice: Are you calling Gorgon's downtown rampage "Urban Renewal?" / Samantha: You're looking at a monster who HATES blight. / Voice: He ripped the roof off an elementary school. / Samantha: ...And LOVES fresh air. Just ask the Mayor / [[Bald man is missing. A tie sticks out from the mouth of Gorgon]] Voice: He just ate the mayor. / Samantha: Political bickering isn't going to get us anywhere... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080229.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Samantha is standing in front of Gorgon, to her left is a man (the Mayor). The prosecutor is off-screen]]
/ Prosecutor: Are you calling Gorgon's downtown rampage "Urban Renewal"?. / Samantha: You're looking at a monster who HATES blight./ Prosecutor: He ripped the roof off an elementary school./ Samantha: and LOVES the fresh air. Just ask the Mayor. / [[The Mayor is gone from the scene, a tie is hanging out Gorgon's mouth]]
/ Prosecutor: He just ate the mayor. / Samantha: Political bickering isn't going to get us anywhere... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080229.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | HEADING: Evil Inc. Personnel File: GORGON
/ [[File sketch of the subject at the left of the panel. Upright, stocky, small tusk jutting upward from mouth, business suit with polka-dotted tie, stegosaurian tail]]
/ AGE: 165
/ HEIGHT: 7'1"
/ WEIGHT: 330 lbs.
/ FAMILY: None
/ REAL NAME: Gorgon
/ ORIGIN: Hatched from a demonic nether-dimension.
/ PARTNERSHIPS: None
/ POWERS: Super strength and lightning-bolt eye projectiles.
/ HISTORY: He happened upon a bridge to our dimension that had been created in an epic battle between Earth's Prime Sorceror and his arch nemesis, "The Dreadd." A Dreadd minion found Gorgon wandering the area during the battle, and he spirited the giant to the side of the Dreadd -- tipping the conflict to his evil overlord's favor. Gorgon, however, didn't find much interest in following the Dreadd, and he chose, instead, to go forth and find his own way. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080301.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Title]] / Evil Inc Personnel File: Gorgon / Age: 165 / Height: 7'1" / Weight@ 330 lbs / Family: None / Real Name: Gorgon / Origin: Hatched from a demonic nether dimension. / Partnerships: None./ Powers: Super strength and lightning-bolt eye projectiles./ History: He happened upon a bridge to our dimension that had been created in an epic battle between Earth's prime sorcerer and his arc nemesis, "The Dreadd." A Dreadd minion found Gorgon wondering the area during the battle, and he spirited the giant to the side of The Dreadd ~ tipping the conflict in the evil overlords favour. Gorgon, however, didn't find much interest in following The Dreadd, and he chose, instead, to go forth and find his own way. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080301.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[A group of several generic villain types walk past the desk of Desdemona. All of them have yellow smiley-face masks]] / Desdemona: The Marketing Department is here. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080303.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Samantha: Before Evil Atom joins us I'd like to have a few words with you.
/ Samantha: I told you the new marketing strategy for Evil Inc had to capture the hearts and minds of our customers.
/ [[The marketing team is sitting around a table, Samantha is on the left and a bucket full of guts is on the right]] / / Samantha: ...and when you insisted that most of our customers lack ONE, or BOTH of EITHER, I told you to dig deeper. / Samantha: I realize NOW I should have been more descriptive. / Samantha: Not that isn't a LOVELY bucket of spleens. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080304.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | Samantha: Before Evil Atom joins us I'd like to have a few words with you. / Samantha: I told you the new marketing strategy for Evil Inc had to capture the hearts and minds of our customers. / [[The marketing team is sitting around a table, Samantha is on the left and a bucket full of guts is on the right]] /
/ Samantha: ...and when you insisted that most of our customers lack ONE, or BOTH of EITHER, I told you to dig deeper. / Samantha: I realize NOW I should have been more descriptive. / Samantha: Not that isn't a LOVELY bucket of spleens. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080304.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140
141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160
161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180
181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200
201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220
221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240
241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 >>