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| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | EVIL ATOM: We're gonna cooperate fully, Officer. The body's down the hall.
/ COP: I'm still filing a report. / EVIL ATOM: Thanks, Officer McC--
/ [[Closeup of COP's badge. It's number 1987 and his name is McCLUSKY.]] / [[EVIL ATOM gets a dazed look in his eyes.]]
/ EVIL ATOM: Officer McClusky...1987...McClusky... / DR. HAYNUS: He's gone catatonic.
/ LIGHTNING LADY: According to the movies we should slap him!
/ DESDEMONA: No! Splash him with cold water!
/ IRON DRAGON: No! Rig his body like a puppet so we can use his beach house! / LIGHTNING LADY: You're getting first-aid tips from "Weekend at Bernie's?"
/ IRON DRAGON: Jonathan Silverman hasn't let me down yet.
/ Except for "Caddyshack 2," maybe... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080827.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Evil Atom talks to a police officer about Ted's death]]
/ / Evil Atom: We're gonna cooperate fully, office. The body's down the hall. / Police Officer: I'm still filing a report. / [[Evil Atom notices the officers badge reads 1987 McClusky]]
/ / Evil Atom: Thanks officer McC-- / [[Evil Atom seems to drift off]]
/ / Evil Atom: Officer McClusky... 1987... McClusky... / [[The group watches as Evil Atom stands silently]]
/ / Dr. Haynus: He's gone catatonic. / Lightning Lady: According to the movies we should slap him! / Desdemona: No! Splash him with cold water! / Iron Dragon: No! Rig his body like a puppet so we can use his beach house! / / Lighting Lady: (to Iron Dragon) You're getting first-aid tips from "Weekend At Bernies"? / Iron Dragon: Jonathan Silverman hasn't let me down yet. Except for Caddyshack 2, maybe... / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080827.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CAPTION: 1987
/ [[Exterior, Beelze Pub.]]
/ HENCHMAN #36 (inside): Hey, Boss, what happened to you?!
/ EVIL ATOM (also inside): The McClusky job. My back-up didn't show--none of them. / [[Now inside the pub. EVIL ATOM looks battered. Also thinner, since it's 21 years ago.]]
/ HENCHMAN #36: But Ted told us this was a "bye week."
/ EVIL ATOM: Ted? / HENCHMAN #36: Used to run with Dr. Whoosh's gang. Sorry you got thwarted. Who gotcha? The Red Gemstone?
/ EVIL ATOM: Nah, Cap'n Hookenfus, the Amish Pirate. / EVIL ATOM: He made me walk a beautifully hand-crafted plank, then insisted I take the reins as we rode to jail. / [[A horse-drawn buggy with a skull-and-crossbones insignia.]]
/ EVIL ATOM: But I don't WANT to...
/ CAP'N HOOKENFUS: Quiet! Ye be drivin' me buggy! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080828.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Evil Atom flashes back to Beelze Pub in 1987]]
/ / Henchman: Hey, Boss, what happened to you?! / Evil Atom: The McClusky job. My back-up didn't show -- none of them. / [[A young Evil Atom stands beaten and Bloodied before one of his henchmen]]
/ / Henchman: But Ted told us this was a "bye week." / Evil Atom: Ted? / / Henchman: Used to run with Dr. Whoosh's gang. Sorry you got thwarted. Who gotcha? The Red Gemstone? / Evil Atom: Nah, Cap'n Hookenfus, the Amish pirate. / / Evil Atom: He made me walk a beautifully hand-crafted plank, then insisted I take the reins as we rode to jail. / [[Evil Atom and Cap'n Hookenfus ride the street in a horse drawn carriage with a skull and cross-bones on the side]]
/ / Evil Atom: But I don't want to... / Cap'n Hookenfus: Quite! Ye be drivin' me buggy! / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080828.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[EVIL ATOM confronts the spy.]]
/ EVIL ATOM: So...it was YOU. You worked your way into my ghost board so you could feed information to your former henchman, Ted, who sent it to Oculore.
/ DR. WHOOSH: I know how this ends. Make it a shot to the head. / [[EVIL ATOM whacks him in the head with some rolled-up papers.]]
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080829.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Evil Atom interrogates a shadowy figure standing before him]]
/ / Evil Atom: So... It was you. You worked your way into my ghost board so you could feed information to your former henchman, Ted, who sent it to Oculore. / Shadowy Figure: I know how this ends. Make it a shot to the head. / [[Evil Atom hits Dr. Whoosh in the head with a rolled up paper]]
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080829.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc...How may I harm you?
/ PHONE VOICE: I have a question about EVIL INC AIRLINES... / PHONE VOICE: So far in my trip, I've paid extra for checking my luggage...been subjected to the degradation of standing in stocking feet while some gorilla waved a wand at me...been crammed like a sardine into an over-booked flight... / PHONE VOICE: I've dealt with gruesome flight attendants and inane chatter from the pilot. I've paid for snacks I USED to get for free, and I arrive late--only to find out my bags were sent somewhere else.
/ LIGHTNING LADY: ...and your question is...? / PHONE VOICE: How can I book a flight with EVIL INC AIRLINES next time? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080830.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[LOIS LANE examines a credit-card bill.]]
/ LOIS: What th--? / LOIS: Did you run up $2,500 in charges buying glasses with thick, black, plastic frames?!
/ SUPERMAN: Huh?! No! What? / [[EVIL ATOM is watching this on TV.]]
/ VOICE-OVER: "Secret-identity theft...just one of the innovations at the new Evil Inc!" http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080901.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Lois Lane reads a credit card bill]]
/ / Lois: What th-? / [[Lois accuses a confused Superman in their home]]
/ / Lois: Did you run up $2,500 in charges buying glasses with thick, black, plastic frames?! / Superman: Huh?! No! What? / [[Evil Atom smiles watching the new TV ad]]
/ / TV Announcer: "Secret-Identity theft... Just one of the innovations at the new Evil Inc!" / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080901.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CLARK KENT: This is a job for...
/ Oh! Aw...
/ [[Two other CLARKS are waiting to use the phone booth while a third is changing.]] / JIMMY OLSEN: Wow! You missed all the action again!
/ And again...
/ and again...
/ [[There are four CLARKS standing nearby. One is even winking at the camera.]] / [[CLARK returns home.]]
/ CLARK: I'm telling you...this secret-identity theft is getting out of hand...
/ [[We can see into the bedroom, where another CLARK is standing next to the bed and checking his watch. Four more CLARKS are lined up outside, waiting. One of them is also checking his watch.]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080902.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Clark Kent try's to change into his superhero outfit only to find the nearby phone booth clogged with superman clones all attempting the same thing]]
/ / Clark: This is a job for... Oh! Aw... / [[A reporter looks over his shoulder to find not just one Clark Kent but a group of Clark Kent's conveniently showing up late to a dramatic event]]
/ / Reporter: Wow! You missed all the action again! And again... and again... / [[Clark Kent angrily walks in the door of his home to find a line of clones leading into the bedroom]]
/ / Clark: I'm telling you... This secret-identity theft is getting out of hand... / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080902.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CAPTAIN HEROIC: How bad is it?
/ WINGMAN: The secret-identity-theft crisis? Grim. But it HAS stimulated job growth. / HEROIC: Who is getting hired by secret-identity thieves?! / [[Cut to the office of the Ace Butler Service.]]
/ INTERVIEWER: Fill out the forms, and step in the back office.
/ Mrs. Winters will give you your tux, hair cream and British accent. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080903.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Capt. Heroic and Wing-man discuss the secret identity theft situation on a roof top]]
/ / Capt. Heroic: How bad is it? / Wing-Man: The secret-identity theft crisis? Grim. But it has stimulated job growth. / / Capt. Heroic: Who is getting hired by secret-identity thieves?! / [[A man sits down for an interview at Ace Butler Service while another man in the back is fitted for a tux]]
/ / Interviewer: Fill out the forms, and step in the back office. Mrs. Winters will give you your tux, hair cream and British accent. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080903.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CAPTAIN HEROIC: I can't believe it! Evil Inc's secret-identity-theft program is making jobs in the civilian world? / WINGMAN: Not just butlers and pre-fab stately manors...the city has been over-run with journalists! Reporters...photographers...editors... / WINGMAN: Remember the giant robot that stormed down Chestnut Street?
/ The newsrooms of both city papers emptied immediately! / HEROIC: Too bad nobody covered it...
/ [[He holds a copy of The Daily Times. Its headlines include HOW 'BOUT THEM CUBS?, CHECK OUT THIS GREAT PIC THE AP SENT US FROM... and FIREMEN RESCUE CAT. The large photo above the fold is of a baby in a bee costume.]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080904.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Capt. Heroic and Wing-man discuss the secret identity theft situation on a roof top]]
/ / Capt. Heroic: I can't believe it! Evil Inc's secret-identity-theft program is making jobs in the civilian world? / / Wing-Man: Not just butlers and pre-fab stately manors... The city has been over-run with journalists! Reporters... Photographers... Editors... / / Wing-Man: Remember the giant robot that stormed down Chestnut Street? The news-rooms of both city papers emptied immediately! / [[Capt. Heroic looks at a news paper filled with nothing but cute stories]]
/ / Capt. Heroic: Too bad nobody covered it... / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080904.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CAPTAIN HEROIC: We have to put an end to Evil Inc's secret-identity theft scheme.
/ WINGMAN: Do we HAVE to? / WINGMAN: I haven't had to show up at my day job in weeks. Three other guys are lined up to do that as "me."
/ HEROIC (off panel): But..how are you earning money to LIVE? / WINGMAN: No problem. I stole THEIR identities a couple days ago.
/ HEROIC: They're going to sue. / WINGMAN: But they're me. As soon as they try to testify against me, I'll plead the FIFTH!
/ HEROIC: With any luck, they'll get the chair.
/ WINGMAN: Exactl--wait... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080905.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Capt. Heroic and Wing-man discuss the secret identity theft situation on a roof top]]
/ / Capt. Heroic: We have to put an end to Evil Inc's secret-identity theft scheme. / Wing-Man: Do we have to? / / Wing-Man: I haven't had to show up at my day job in weeks. Three other guys are lined up to do that as "me." / Capt. Heroic: But... How are you earning money to live? / / Wing-Man: No problem. I stole their identities a couple days ago. / Capt. Heroic: They're going to sue. / / Wing-Man: But they're me. As soon as they try to testify against me, I'll plead the fifth! / Capt. Heroic: With any luck, they'll get the chair. / Wing-Man: Exact-- wait... / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080905.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc...How may I harm you?
/ PHONE VOICE: I have a problem with the EVIL INC DO-IT-YOURSELF ALTERNATE UNIVERSE PORTAL... / PHONE VOICE: When I stepped through the gateway, I was taken to a world populated by BARENAKED LADIES! / LIGHTNING LADY: I see your problem. You've bought the wrong guide. / LIGHTNING LADY: YOU'VE got the Evil Inc Do-It-Yourself Portal for the ALTERNATIVE Universe. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080906.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Lightning Lady answers the phone at Evil Inc's reception desk]]
/ / Lightning Lady: Evil Inc... How may I harm you? / Caller: I have a problem with the Evil Inc Do-It-Yourself Alternate Universe Portal... / / Caller: When I stepped through the gateway, I was taken to a world populated by Barenaked Ladies! / / Lightning Lady: I see your problem. You've bought the wrong guide. / / Lightning Lady: You've got the Evil Inc Do-It-Yourself portal for the Alternative universe. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080906.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Full-width single panel with a panoramic view of a hallway at the Evil Inc Charter School. Viewing from left to right:
/ An IGOR-type kid with a sack slung over his shoulder emerges from a torchlit stairwell, accompanied by a bat.
/ A ROBOT with levitation rockets works the lock on his locker.
/ A bald MAD-SCIENTIST KID has a skeleton in his locker.
/ ZILLA walks by carrying a book titled "Digested Architecture."
/ A fuse slowly burns down toward a bundle of dynamite wedged into a locker door.
/ LI'L VENOM skulks by in the background.
/ OSCAR, wearing his power armor, walks toward the camera.
/ A LITTLE VAMPIRE gets a drink from the fountain. It's not water.
/ A GIRL in a mask and cape reads "See Spot Run: A DNA Primer."
/ A sign on the wall says "EVIL INC. MOLDING LITTLE MINDS...WITH ONLY THE FINEST MOLD."]]
/ OSCAR: Why does every September here feel more like October? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080908.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Oscar walks down the hall, which is full of all manner of kiddy villains checking their lockers and going to class, on his first day of school at Evil Inc.]]
/ / Oscar: (thinking) Why does every September here feel more like October? / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080908.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[At the Evil Inc. Charter School, MRS. CRABNEBULA has just written her name on the blackboard. She is older, with her hair in a bun, and wears a burgundy cape with a high, five-pointed collar.]]
/ STUDENT (offpanel): What happened to Mrs. Higgins? / MRS. CRABNEBULA: She's decided on a career change.
/ STUDENT (still offpanel): She doesn't want to be a teacher anymore?
/ [[Background gag: There's an apple on her desk. It's glowing and green vapors are wafting from it.]] / MRS. CRABNEBULA: She decided to go into a more...relaxing...line of work. / STUDENT (still offpanel): We're going to miss her.
/ MRS. CRABNEBULA: The school's loss is Rikers Island's gain.
/ [[There's a bear trap on her chair.]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080909.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[A new teacher introduces herself to Oscar's class]]
/ / Student: What happened to Mrs. Higgins? / / Mrs. Crabnebula: She's decided on a career change. / Student: She doesn't want to be a teacher anymore? / / Mrs. Crabnebula: She decided to go into a more... relaxing... line of work. / / Student: We're going to miss her. / Mrs. Crabnebula: The schools loss is Riker's Island's gain. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080909.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[LI'L VLAD sits under a bright light.]]
/ LI'L VLAD: I don't know nuttin'...I ain't talkin'. / INTERROGATOR: You sure?
/ LI'L VLAD: Nuttin'. / [[Pull back to reveal that he's sitting in the middle of a classroom with his classmates watching.]]
/ MRS. CRABNEBULA: Very good. Anyone else?
/ [[A large placard reads, "DON'T SHOW or TELL."]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080910.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[A student sits silhouetted under an interrogation light]]
/ / Student: I don't know nuttin'... I ain't talking.' / / Interrogator: You sure? / Student: Nuttin.' / [[The student sits on a stool in front of the class. A sign next to him reads "Don't show or tell"]]
/ / Mrs. Crabnebula: Very good. Anyone else? / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080910.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[MRS. CRABNEBULA has drawn a series of panels on the blackboard, illustrating the lesson she's teaching.]]
/ MRS. CRABNEBULA: Observe: The hostage screams before the trap is sprung...
/ [[Panel of hostage tied to chair, screaming "EEE!"]]
/ ...This allows the hero to react.
/ [[Panel of hero avoiding the trap door.]]
/ You HAVE to spring the trap early...
/ [[Panel of trapdoor opening. "AEIII!"]]
/ UNLESS, you've already explained your plan in exhausting detail, causing her to fall asleep.
/ [[Panel of villain gloating with hostage asleep in her chair.]] / MRS. CRABNEBULA: All together, now... / STUDENTS: "AEII!" before "EEEE!" except after "ZZZZZZ." http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080911.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Mrs. Crabnebula explains hostage taking with a blackboard diagram to the class]]
/ / Mrs. Crabnebula: Observe: The hostage screams before the trap is sprung... ...This allows the hero to react. You have to spring the trap early... Unless, you've already explained your plan in exhausting detail, causing her to fall asleep. / / Mrs. Crabnebula: All together, now... / / Class: "AEII!" before "EEEE!" except after "ZZZZZZ." / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080911.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Lunchtime at the Evil Inc Charter School.]]
/ OSCAR: I've got peanut-butter-and-jelly. What do you have? / WOLF-BOY: Sardine and dill pickle on Melba toast. Wanna trade? / OSCAR (turns green): TRADE?! I don't even wanna EAT!! / [[WOLF-BOY prepares to eat both lunches. OSCAR is still nauseous.]]
/ WOLF-BOY (to himself): Works every time! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080912.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Oscar and a young wolf man talk about their lunch]]
/ / Oscar: I've got peanut-butter-and-jelly. What do you have? / / Wolf Kid: Sardine and dill pickle on melba toast. Wanna trade. / [[Oscar turns green]]
/ / Oscar: Trade?! I don't even wanna eat!! / [[Nauseated, Oscar gives his lunch to the wolf kid]]
/ / Wolf Kid: (thinking) Works every time! / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2006 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080912.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc...How may I harm you?
/ PHONE VOICE: Yes, I'd like to buy a politician. / LIGHTNING LADY: Sir?
/ PHONE VOICE: A politician. There's a lot of pending legislation that might affect me, so I thought it wise to buy one. / LIGHTNING LADY: Sir, if you're assuming that United States government officials are for sale, I have to tell that, sadly, nothing is further from the truth. / LIGHTNING LADY: You're just going to have to RENT them like anybody else. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080913.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | OSCAR: Can I have some ice cream?
/ CAPT. HEROIC: No. / OSCAR: Can I have some ice cream?
/ MISS MATCH: No. / OSCAR: Gran'pa, can you take me out for ice cream?
/ CMDR. HEROIC: Didn't you hear your mom and dad? / [[CMDR. HEROIC and OSCAR fly to the ice cream parlor. OSCAR is in his power suit.]]
/ CMDR. HEROIC: Me neither. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080915.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Oscar begs for ice cream from his parents]]
/ / Oscar: (to Capt. Heroic) Can I have some ice cream? / Capt. Heroic: No. / / Oscar: (to Ms. Match) Can I have some ice cream? / Ms. Match: No. / / Oscar: (to Cmdr. Heroic) Gran'pa, Can you take me out for ice cream? / Cmdr. Heroic: Didn't you hear your mom and dad? / [[Cmdr. Heroic and Oscar fly to the ice cream shop]]
/ / Cmdr. Heroic: Me neither. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080915.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[OSCAR and COMMANDER HEROIC are out flying.]]
/ OSCAR: I'm glad you can fly again, Gran'pa. / OSCAR: I guess you'll be moving back to your house soon.
/ CMDR. HEROIC: Soon. / OSCAR: Why don't you and Gran'ma move in with us! Then we'd be together all the time!
/ CMDR. HEROIC: Asked and answered, kid. / CMDR. HEROIC: Your mom was happy to take me IN, but if I overstay my welcome, she'll be all-too-happy to take me OUT. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080916.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Cmdr. Heroic and Oscar fly to the ice cream shop]]
/ / Oscar: I'm glad you can fly again, gran'pa. / / Oscar: I guess you'll be moving back to your house soon. / Cmdr. Heroic: Soon. / / Oscar: Why don't you and gran'ma move in with us! Then we'd be together all the time! / Cmdr. Heroic: Asked and answered, kid. / / Cmdr. Heroic: Your mom was happy to take me in, but if I overstay my welcome, she'll be all-too-happy to take me out. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080916.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[COMMANDER HEROIC and OSCAR are enjoying their ice cream.]]
/ OSCAR: Tell me 'bout the olden days...
/ CMDR. HEROIC: OK...1939...The Depression was upon us... / CMDR. HEROIC (inset): The government passed a law requiring every super-hero to take on a sidekick. / [[Four super-heroes are lined up on the left. One resembles Michael Jackson circa "Thriller". The other three look more like traditional super-heroes. Three sidekicks are on the right. In the middle are two government-types.]]
/ GOVT. GUY #1: Tell me the truth...this is skeevy, right?
/ I had to take THREE showers last night...
/ GOVT. GUY #2: I took ONE...from six until two this morning.
/ [[Signs on the wall: "Pixie shoe rental $1," "No deposit No return" and "Vapid smiles, or else."]]
/ HEROIC (narration): "...like I said, we were all pretty depressed about it..." http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080917.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Cmdr. Heroic and Oscar eat their ice cream]]
/ / Oscar: Tell me 'bout the olden days... / Cmdr. Heroic: OK... 1939... The depression was upon us... / [[Several hero's, along with a young Cmdr. Heroic, stand around waiting for two government officials to appoint them sidekicks from a group of costumed kids]]
/ / Cmdr. Heroic: The government passed a law requiring every super-hero to take on a sidekick. / Gov Official 1: Tell me the truth... This is skeevy, right? I had to take three showers last night... / Gov Official 2: I took one... Form six until two this morning. / Cmdr. Heroic: "...Like I said, we were all pretty depressed about it..." / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080917.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CAPTION: Commander Heroic remembers the Sidekick Initiative of 1939.
/ NOT-BATMAN: Who'd you get.
/ NOT-SUPERMAN: Some "Wonder Boy..." / [[NOT-BATMAN pictures a grinning kid in a Wonder Bread-themed costume.]]
/ NOT-BATMAN: HA! Poor guy. I'll bet he's colorless, squishy, and stale after a few days.
/ NOT-SUPERMAN: Who'd YOU get? / NOT-BATMAN: "Bug Boy."
/ NOT-SUPERMAN: Whoa...Insect powers! You lucky duck.
/ NOT-BATMAN: Heck, I'LL trade you... / CMDR. HEROIC: There's something you need to know, Oscar, some super-heroes are jerks. / [[NOT-BATMAN runs off with BUG BOY, who's colored as NOT-ROBIN. WONDER BOY is pimply and fat with thick glasses.]]
/ WONDER BOY: I'm touching your cape.
/ NOT-SUPERMAN: Stop it. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080918.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Commander Heroic remembers the sidekick initiative of 1939.]]
/ / Batman: (to Cmdr. Heroic) Who'd you get? / Cmdr. Heroic: Some "Wonder Boy..." / / Batman: Ha! Poor guy. I'll bet he's colorless, squishy, and stale after a few days. / Cmdr. Heroic: Who'd you get? / / Batman: "Bug Boy." / Cmdr. Heroic: Whoa... Insect powers! You lucky duck. / Batman: Heck, I'll trade you... / / Cmdr. Heroic: There's something you need to know, Oscar, some superheros are jerks. / [[Cmdr. Heroic is left standing with an annoying pimple ridden sidekick while Batman and Robin take off into the night]]
/ / Bug Boy: I'm touching your cape. / Cmdr. Heroic: Stop it. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080918.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | OSCAR: Your sidekick's super-power was being ANNOYING?!
/ CMDR. HEROIC: *sigh* Yes...he was VERY good at bugging people. / OSCAR: Didn't they have actual super-powers back then?!
/ HEROIC: Sure, Captain Australia's sidekick was Ant Lad. HE was pretty good... / HEROIC (narrating): "...He had the strength of an ant..."
/ [[ANT LAD catches a giant rock that was about to land on CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA.]] / HEROIC (narrating): "Years later, scientists would find a way to add the concept of 'proportionate strength.'"
/ [[The rock crashes down on both of them.]]
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080919.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Commander Heroic recants the sidekick initiative of 1939 to Oscar]]
/ / Oscar: Your sidekick's super-power was being annoying?! / Cmdr. Heroic: >sigh< yes... He was very good at bugging people. / / Oscar: Didn't they have actual super-powers back then?! / Cmdr. Heroic: Sure, Captain Australia's sidekick was ant lad. He was pretty good... / [[Ant Lad stops a boulder from crushing Capt. Australia]]
/ / Cmdr. Heroic: "...He had the strength of an ant..." / [[Both Ant Lad and Capt. Australia are crushed under the boulder]]
/ / Cmdr. Heroic: "Years later, scientists would find a way to add the concept of proportionate strength."
/ / Capt. Australia: Crikey!
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080919.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc...How may I harm you? / PHONE VOICE: I have a complaint about the Evil Inc Death Ray Home-Repair Kit I bought. / PHONE VOICE: I had to apply sealant around the edges of the main housing and the applicator gun misfired, shooting the compound in my face! / LIGHTNIG LADY: What kind of personal injuries are you claiming? / PHONE VOICE: It left me caulk-eyed. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080920.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Lightning Lady answers the phone at Evil Inc's reception desk]]
/ / Lighting Lady: Evil Inc... How may I harm you? / / Caller: I have a complaint about the Evil Inc death ray home-repair kit I bought. / / Caller: I had to apply sealant around the edges of the main housing and the applicator gun misfired, shooting the compound in my face! / / Lighting Lady: What kind of personal injuries are you claiming? / / Caller: It left me caulk-eyed. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080920.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CMDR. HEROIC (today): Needless to say, BUG BOY was a...trying...companion. / [[Flashback: Young HEROIC is examining the works of a bomb.]]
/ BUG BOY: You HAVE to defuse the bomb! / BUG BOY: The entire Abstract Art Museum could be blown up, doing HUNDREDS of dollars in damages!
/ HEROIC: Bug Boy...please. / BUG BOY: I mean, look at that statue! My two-year-old brother coulda made that in his pants! (In fact, I think he did!)
/ HEROIC: Red wire...blue wire... / [[Tight closeup on HEROIC.]]
/ BUG BOY (offpanel): My saliva tastes funny. / [[Explosion!]]
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080922.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Commander Heroic recalls the sidekick initiative of 1939 to Oscar]]
/ / Cmdr. Heroic: Needless to say, Bug Boy was a... trying... companion. / [[Cmdr. Heroic and bug boy stand over a bomb]]
/ / Bug Boy: You have to defuse the bomb! / / Bug Boy: The entire abstract art museum could be blown up, doing hundreds of dollars in damages! / Cmdr. Heroic: Bug Boy... please. / / Bug Boy: I mean, look at that statue! My two-year-old brother coulda made that in his pants! (In fact, I think he did!) / Cmdr. Heroic: Red wire... Blue wire... / [[Cmdr. Heroic reaches is breaking point]]
/ / Bug Boy: My saliva tastes funny. / [[The bomb museum explodes]]
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080922.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CAPTION: Commander Heroic recalls his sidekick, Bug Boy.
/ BUG BOY: Call for you on the hotline.
/ HEROIC: We're on our way, commissioner. / [[CMDR. HEROIC and BUG BOY stand inside an empty bank vault. There is writing all over the walls and floor:
/ "I robbed this bank vault.
/ You'll never guess who did it.
/ My crime wave goes on!" / "I'll keep all the cash
/ And spend it on Evil things.
/ You'll never stop me." / "My clues are clever.
/ But you two are not that smart.
/ Just try to catch me." / and / "Seriously now.
/ You still don't know who I am?
/ You guys are the worst."]] / [[Back at their headquarters, HEROIC and BUG BOY have consulted their gigantic computer, which displays "HAIKU KING."]]
/ BUG BOY: Thank goodness for our 14-bit processor.
/ We mighta ended up tailing Limerick Leader. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080923.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Commander Heroic recalls his sidekick Bug Boy. Wearing an oven mit Bug Boy holds up a telephone]]
/ / Bug Boy: Call for you on the hotline. / Cmdr. Heroic: We're on our way commissioner. / [[Cmdr. Heroic and Bug Boy find a graffiti in haiku at the scene of a bank robbery]]
/ / Graffiti: I robbed this bank vault. You'll never guess who did it, My crime wave goes on! I'll keep all the cash and spend it on evil things you'll never stop me. My clues are cleaver. But you two are not that smart. Just try to catch me. Seriously now. You still don't know how I am? You guys are the worst. / Cmdr. Heroic: Back to Heroic Tower old chum! / [[Cmdr. Heroic uses his super computer to identify the bank robber as the Haiku King.]]
/ / Bug Boy: Thank goodness for our 14-bit processor. We mighta ended up tailing Limerick Leader. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080923.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CMDR. HEROIC (narrating): That night, we decided to stake-out the city...
/ [[Panoramic view showing several buildings decorated with gargoyles. Every single gargoyle in sight has a hero standing or crouching on it. In the foreground are CMDR. HEROIC and BUG BOY, standing in front of a stand marked "GARGOYLE RENTALS/No Vacancy."]]
/ RENTAL AGENT: Sorry, fellas...
/ BUG BOY: I'm touching your cape.
/ CMDR. HEROIC: Stop that. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080924.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[A superhero silhouetted by moonlight stands dramatically on a skyscraper gargoyle]] / [[Cmdr. Heroic talks with a gargoyle rental agent to discover that all the surrounding gargoyles also have superheros on them and are taken]]
/ / Agent: Sorry, fellas... / Bug Boy: I'm touching your cape. / Cmdr. Heroic: Stop that. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080924.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CMDR. HEROIC (narrating): We had to canvas the city on foot, so decided to split up.
/ [[In the flashback, BUG BOY holds a bulky portable cassette deck.]]
/ BUG BOY: I'd rather stay with you. I brought a Glen Campbell mix tape! / HEROIC: Seriously, I'll take the West end of the city, and you can cover the East end.
/ BUG BOY: But I like the West end! / HEROIC: OK. I'll take the East end, and we can meet...
/ BUG BOY: I like the East end, TOO. / [[BUG BOY lies bound and gagged in an alley, his tape deck beside him.]]
/ GLEN CAMPBELL (on tape): I'm just a lineman for the counteeeeee! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080925.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Commander Heroic recalls his sidekick Bug Boy]]
/ / Cmdr. Heroic: We had to canvas the city on foot, so decided to split up. / / Bug Boy: I'd rather stay with you. I brought a Glen Cambel mix tape! / / Cmdr. Heroic: Seriously, I'll take the west end of the city, and you can cover the east end. / Bug Boy: But I like the west end! / / Cmdr. Heroic: OK. I'll take the east end, and we can meet... / Bug Boy: I like the east end, too. / [[Bug Boy sits tied up in an alley with the Glen Cambel tape playing next to him on a boom box]]
/ / Boom Box: I'm just a lineman for the counteeeeee! / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080925.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CMDR. HEROIC: Where's HAIKU KING? Tell me or so help me I'll--
/ THUG: I dunno! / [[Pull back to show that they're standing under a ladder, with a broken mirror at their feet, while a black cat walks by.]]
/ HEROIC: Seriously? / [[Two pens of criminals, one marked SUPERSTITIOUS & COWARDLY, the other marked RATIONAL & BRAVE. HEROIC releases the THUG to the RATIONAL & BRAVE pen.]]
/ HEROIC: Sorry...wrong lot. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080926.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Cmdr. interrogates a thug]]
/ / Cmdr. Heroic: Where's Haiku King? Tell me or so help me I'll -- / Thug: I dunno! / [[Cmdr. Heroic stands with the thug under a ladder next to a broken mirror on a crack as a black cat walks by.]]
/ / Cmdr. Heroic: Seriously? / [[Cmdr. Heroic returns the thug to a holding pen of criminals labeled rational and brave which is right next to another one one labeled superstitious and cowardly]]
/ / Cmdr. Heroic: Sorry... Wrong lot. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080926.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc...How may I harm you? / PHONE VOICE: I have a complaint about the Evil Inc Tech Support line. / PHONE VOICE: I called for help and ended up talking to someone who spoke absolutely no English. / LIGHTNING LADY: Yes, we've outsourced many of those jobs overseas.
/ PHONE VOICE: Why? / LIGHTNING LADY: By the time you break through the language barrier, your warranty usually expires. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080927.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Lightning Lady answers the phone at Evil Inc's reception desk]]
/ / Lightning Lady: Evil Inc... How may I harm you? / / Caller: I have a complaint about the Evil Inc. tech support phone line. / / Caller: I called for help and ended up talking to someone who spoke absolutely no English. / / Lightning Lady: Yes, we've outsourced many of those jobs overseas. / Caller: Why? / / Lightning Lady: By the time you break through the language barrier, your warranty usually expires. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2008 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}} / [[Lightning Lady answers the phone at Evil Inc's reception desk]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080927.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CMDR. HEROIC (narrating): "After nights of detective work...
/ I finally found Haiku King."
/ [[HEROIC flies towards a restaurant. The sign reads, "The Golden Soup Bowl / 'A good place to have dinner' / Parking in the rear." Which is a haiku.]] / [[Inside, HAIKU KING is placing his order.]]
/ HAIKU KING: I'll start with the shrimp. Then I'll have some linguini. And some red wine, please.
/ {{Which is also a haiku!}}
/ HEROIC: The jig is up, pal! / HAIKU KING: Address me properly. / HEROIC: Do I HAVE to?
/ HAIKU KING: It would be nice...
/ HEROIC: *sigh* / HEROIC: You committed crimes. But now you're apprehended. Come with me to jail.
/ HAIKU KING (smiles, raises his hands): I'm caught fair and square. I'll come along quietly. Let me get my coat.
/ {{Both of those are haiku.}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080929.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Cmdr. Heroic recalls earlier days as a crime fighter chasing the Haiku King to an asian restaurant]]
/ / Cmdr. Heroic: "After nights of detective work..." "I finally found Haiku King." / [[The Haiku King is seated at a table ordering dinner]]
/ / Haiku King: (to waiter) I'll start with the shrimp. Then I'll have some linguini. And some red wine, please. / Cmdr. Heroic: The jig is up pal! / / Haiku King: Address me properly. / / Cmdr. Heroic: Do I have to? / Haiku King: It would be nice... / Cmdr. Heroic: >sigh< / / Cmdr. Heroic: You committed crimes. But now you're apprehended. Come with me to jail. / Haiku King: I'm caught fair and square. I'll come along quietly. Let me get my coat. / [[Lightning Lady answers the phone at Evil Inc's reception desk]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080929.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CMDR. HEROIC (narrating): I had no sooner gotten Haiku King to jail when I got a phone call... / POLICE CAPTAIN: You can take it in my office. / HEROIC: Who's calling me HERE? My work is never finished. I'm always on call.
/ CAPTAIN: You can stop with the haiku. We got the bad guy in lock-up. / HEROIC: I don't think I can! I keep talking in haiku! I can't help myself!
/ [[POLICE CAPTAIN looks sideways at the camera.]] / HEROIC: I must get control. I know I can beat this thing... / [[POLICE CAPTAIN delivers a right cross to HEROIC'S chin.]]
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080930.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[Cmdr. Heroic recounts his earlier crime fighting days]]
/ / Cmdr. Heroic: I had no sooner gotten Haiku King to jail when I got a phone call... / / Miller: You can take it in my office. / / Cmdr. Heroic: Who's calling me here? My work is never finished. I'm always on call. / Miller: You can stop with the Haiku. we got the bad guy in lock-up. / / Cmdr. Heroic: I don't think I can! I keep talking in haiku! I can't help myself! / / Cmdr. Heroic: I must get control. I know I can beat this thing... / [[Captain Miller punches Cmdr. Heroic]]
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20080930.html |
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