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Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog GRANDGAMER: I'm ready to grant your wish. / CAPT. HEROIC: Good. / CAP: But I'm not making one. / GRANDGAMER: You're...not? / CAP: I have an amazing wife and a great kid. And I'm not doing anything that would change them an iota. / GRANDGAMER: Are you sure? Evil Atom is still steamed. He spent the afternoon imploding planets in a nearby solar system. / CAP: If he's coming after us, we'll face him. As a FAMILY. / GRANDGAMER: I have to say, I really admire you-- / CAP (interrupting): Entire planets?
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc. How may I harm you? / PHONE VOICE: I wish to register a complaint. / PHONE VOICE: The Evil Inc Workout Machine I bought is horrible! / PHONE VOICE: The treadmill has iron spikes and shoots fire. / LIGHTNING LADY: No pain, no gain.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog MISS MATCH: You did WHAT?! / CAPT. HEROIC: I didn't use my wish. / CAP: Our marriage has been suffering because we've both been wondering if we would be better off married to someone more suitable. / CAP: But we're NOT. We're married to each other. / CAP (drawing her closer): And we still love each other so DEEPLY that we'd sacrifice everything we ARE for the OTHER. / CAP: I have your LOVE. Anything the Grandgamer could offer would be SHABBY in comparison.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[MISS MATCH and CAPT. HEROIC in a loving embrace.]] / MISS MATCH: I love you. / CAP: So you're not mad that I passed on an opportunity to have a wish granted by a godlike being? / MISS MATCH: No, but I'm too emotional to fry the contents of your skull with a nova blast right now. / CAP: A raincheck, then?
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog MISS MATCH: What about Oscar? / CAPT. HEROIC: He's going to have to wear his battlesuit more often. / CAP: And I'll talk to Dad about getting his weaponry updated. / MISS MATCH: Cap, the whole family is going to be at war with Evil Atom. / CAP: Yeah... / CAP (smiling broadly and rubbing his hands together): ...poor guy.
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic MISS MATCH: I don't think you fully appreciate the magnitude of how our lives are going to change. / MISS MATCH: I'm certain to be fired from Evil Inc, and that means that one or both of us are going to have to use our secret identities to find employment. / MISS MATCH: And THAT means Oscar will lose his admission to the Evil Inc Charter School...our lives are going to be turned UPSIDE-DOWN! / CAPT. HEROIC: Maybe we've BEEN upside-down and this is turning us UPSIDE-RIGHT. / MISS MATCH: It would explain the light-headedness.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog MISS MATCH: The twenty-four hour head-start Grandgamer promised us is almost over. / CAPT. HEROIC: So there's still time? / MISS MATCH: I'm sure there's time for Grandgamer to fulfill your wish if you have one. Do you? / CAP (grinning): I do. / [[He sweeps her into his arms and grins even bigger.]] / CAP: But he can't fulfill THIS one.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc. How may I harm you? / PHONE VOICE: Can I buy a used time machine? / LIGHTNING LADY: Why a used one? / PHONE VOICE: I'm going to use them for parts--create some loading docks for my factory. / PHONE VOICE: See, the way I have it figured, if I build a couple loading docks out of time-machine parts, I'll never have to pay priority shipping again. / LIGHTNING LADY: No way... / LIGHTNING LADY: We can't allow you to use a time machine to create a pair a' docks.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[Back on Gamerworld, two voices come from behind a bluff.]] / VOICE: We're gonna get sent back home soon. And when we do, we can never speak of our little "thing." / VOICE 2: I had fun. You had fun. Let's leave it at that. / [[One of the voices is LIGHTNING LADY.]] / LIGHTNING LADY: Besides...who ever heard of a super-villain getting into a relationship with a HERO? / VOICE 2: Yeah...it could never work. / [[The other voice is ELASTIC MAN. They look at each other silently.]] / LIGHTNING LADY: *sigh* One, last time...? / [[They embrace and kiss.]] / ELASTIC MAN: Sure... How about...THIS? / [[He morphs into the shape of KANG THE CONQUEROR. LIGHTNING LADY likes that a lot.]] / LIGHTNING LADY: Oohh! I love a man who takes his TIME!
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[Exterior, Gamerworld Base.]] / GRANDGAMER (from inside): Evil Atom! Time to go--ho boy... / EVIL ATOM (also from inside): Check out my new threads! / [[EVIL ATOM is wearing a new version of his costume, black with white trim.]] / EVIL ATOM: I used a machine I found, and this goop came out, covered my body and formed a new costume! / GRANDGAMER: You realize it's REALLY a parasite that's slowly sucking the life force from you. / [[EVIL ATOM's jaw drops.]] / [[EVIL ATOM peels off the new costume. His old one is underneath.]] / EVIL ATOM: Oh! Thanks for telling me. / EVIL ATOM: I already HAVE an agent!
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Evil Atom rants about his discovery of Capt. Heroic and Miss Match relationship in his office]] / / Evil Atom: I gained knowledge of the marriage between Captain Heroic and Miss Match -- which I will use to destroy him. / / Evil Atom: And when I do, there will be nothing to stop me from achieving all my wildest schemes. / / Evil Atom: ...And to think I'm in this delicious position because I lost the competition! / / Evil Atom: Losing is so empowering! / / Evil Atom: (to Death Fog) How come you never told me? / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com}} {{www.evil-comic.com}} {{(c) 2009 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved.}}
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog EVIL ATOM: No one else knows about Captain Heroic's secret marriage to Miss Match, and I'm telling ONLY you, Death Fog. If anything happens to ME, use the information to defeat our foe. / EVIL ATOM: Now leave while I scheme. / [[EVIL ATOM remains in his office. Out in the reception area, DESDEMONA approaches DEATH FOG.]] / DESDEMONA: Excuse me, sir. Do these belong to you? / DEATH FOG: My HEARING aids! That's MUCH better! I took them out to battle Black Canary! She threw an entire cart of WATERMELONS at me! / DESDEMONA: Did you succeed? / DEATH FOG: Sure did. I was picking 'em outta my teeth all morning.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[EVIL ATOM stands on a rooftop overlooking the city.]] / EVIL ATOM: Wherever you are, Captain Heroic, I'll find you. I'll exploit your weakness--your family--to defeat you. / [[He whirls at the sound of CAPT. HEROIC's voice.]] / CAP: I wouldn't do that, if I were you. / EVIL ATOM (striking a defiant pose): FOOL! I'll-- / CAP: Don't you want to know what I wished for? / EVIL ATOM (right in CAP's face): It doesn't matter, I'll-- / CAP: I wished that anything that happens to MY family, happens to YOURS. / [[EVIL ATOM has no response to that, but clearly wishes he did.]] / [[Same as previous.]] / [[Same as previous.]] / [[CAP flies away, leaving EVIL ATOM standing impotent on the rooftop.]] / CAP: But I STILL think I shoulda wished you a breath mint.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc. How may I harm you? / PHONE VOICE: I ordered a super power from Evil Inc, and I need to return it. / PHONE VOICE: I meant to write "venomous" on the form, but I wrote "poisonous" instead. Now, I can only hurt an opponent if I'm chewed up and ingested! / LIGHTNING LADY: Sorry. No returns. / PHONE VOICE: But what am I supposed to DO? This is a completely USELESS super power! / LIGHTNING LADY: Sorry. That's the rule. / PHONE VOICE: *sigh* Bite me. / LIGHTNING LADY: Not on a bet.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[NITE OWL and VESPIDAE stand by as LIGHTNING LADY reacts to MISS MATCH's news.]] / LIGHTNING LADY: YOU GOT THE AX?!? / MISS MATCH: ...and his little, black hood, too...but I don't think it's going to make a difference. / [[MM holds a black executioner's hood in one hand and a huge ax in the other. The ax has a Post-It Note attached which reads, "YOU'RE FIRED!" HATCHET MAN stands nearby.]] / HATCHET MAN: Could I get my stuff back. / Please?
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[MISS MATCH has a box of stuff.]] / LIGHTNING LADY: I'm so upset to see you cleaning out your desk. / [[MISS MATCH and LIGHTNING LADY stand there silently.]] / [[Same as second panel.]] / [[Same as second panel.]] / MISS MATCH (big fake grin and kinda crazy eyes): Oh! Right! ABSOLUTELY! / OFFPANEL VOICE: Has anybody seen my wallet? / MISS MATCH: Well, no one likes a long good-bye.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog CMDR. HEROIC: Now that your wife lost her JOB, are you gonna stop sending Oscar to the Evil Inc Charter School? / CAPT. HEROIC: No...We faked his enrollment papers to hide any connections to either of us. So he's OK for now. / CMDR. HEROIC: Sure...He's OK until the teacher tries to schedule a conference with his PARENTS. / CAPT. HEROIC: Heh. We already accounted for that. / [[He thinks of OSCAR's report card, which lists CTHULHU as "parent" and has "CALL" circled in red.]]
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog CMDR. HEROIC: You're OK with Oscar continuing to attend the Evil Inc Charter School? / CAPT. HEROIC: It's THAT or public school system here in the city. / CMDR.: But aren't you worried about the violence...the shootings...the crime...? / CAP: Of COURSE we are. / CAP: ...which is why we sent him to the CHARTER School!
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog CMDR. HEROIC: Honestly, son...a school run by Evil Inc...? I've never questioned your parenting, but... / CAPT. HEROIC: Oscar is going to learn more about the criminal mindset over there than in the best hero-run institution. / CMDR.: What if it TURNS him evil? / CAP: Dad, where did YOU go to school? / CMDR.: OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL BRUISES! I could get Oscar in! And I don't think the nuns are hardly allowed to beat the kids at all anymore. / [[CMDR. HEROIC casts a shadow of a massive nun with ruler raised and ready to strike.]] / CAP: Not the point. When's the last time you went to church? / CMDR (getting it): ...No WONDER I never question your parenting...
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Lightning Lady answers the phone at Evil Inc's reception Desk]] / / Lightning Lady: Evil Inc, how may I harm you? / Caller: I want to complain about the villain team-up I booked through you guys. / / Caller: She was awful! Spent two hours in my bathroom primping before the big battle! Even left her pantyhose hanging on my shower door when she left! / / Lightning Lady: Weren't you offered a refund, sir? / Caller: Sure! But now I have a fifteen-dollar charge on my credit card under the same invoice. / / Lightning Lady: Simple. That's our restocking fee. / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com www.evil-comic.com (c) 2009 Brad. J Guigar. All rights reserved.}}
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[CMDR. HEROIC and CAPT. HEROIC on patrol.]] / CMDR. HEROIC: I hope you're right about sending Oscar to the Evil Inc Charter School. I just want him to have a normal childhood like you did. / CAPT. HEROIC: Normal? / CAP: Dad, you were pulled into Principal Penny's office so often he finally gave you your own keys to the office. / [[Flashback (with very nice old-newsprint-and-color effect) to PRINCIPAL PENNY talking to CMDR. HEROIC in his secret identity.]] / PENNY: You can give them back after I graduate. / CMDR. HEROIC: After you graduate my son? / PENNY: After I graduate to a better school district.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog CAPT. HEROIC: Dad, when I was in school, my powers had already manifest themselves. I was becoming a little hero. / [[Flashback to the young CAP, in civilian clothes, striding past a line of adults.]] / YOUNG CAP: Commissioner...Dr. Smith...Chief...Sergeant...Let me start by commending you all on your response time in yesterday's chemical explosion. Let's start with the debriefing. / [[The line leads to the Principal's office, where PRINCIPAL PENNY and the CMDR. HEROIC, in civvies, both wait.]] / PENNY: Yes, now that your father is here...Let's. / CMDR. HEROIC: My son would like to apologize for causing yesterday's disaster. It was a big mistake, and he knows that. / YOUNG CAP (looking pretty proud of himself): BIG?! That cloud was at least two-stories tall! Back me up on this, Chief!
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[Flashback continues: The inquiry into YOUNG CAPT. HEROIC's involvement with a disaster at his school.]] / YOUNG CAP: Let's not blame the victim, here. I found those explosive chemicals laying around Mr. Hayes' Chem lab. It was an accident waiting to happen. / HAYES: Those chemicals were in a locked vault! Behind two locked doors! / YOUNG CAP: Wasn't enough, was it, Mr. Hayes? / HAYES (offpanel): I... / YOUNG CAP: Hindsight isn't going to scrape the gym off the roof of the Woolworth's building, is it, Mr. Hayes?
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[Flashback continues with a shot of PRINCIPAL PENNY's office door.]] / YOUNG CAPT. HEROIC (inside): Gentlemen...let's chalk this up to learning, shall we? I mean, LAST week, I DIDN'T know that mixing volatile chemicals could level a city block. Lesson learned. / [[Inside.]] / YOUNG CAP: This IS a school, isn't it? / (Lower voice) Well, it was... / CMDR. HEROIC: Please. Stop. / YOUNG CAP: Either way...I'm here to learn, aren't I? / YOUNG CAP: So, let's get back to the learning shall we? Reading...writing...'rithmetic...'ranium-235...ballistics...flashpoint... / YOUNG CAP: Did they punish Galileo when he proved the Sun revolved around the Earth? / CMDR. HEROIC: That never happened. / YOUNG CAP: Precisely.
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[Still in flashback with CMDR. HEROIC and YOUNG CAPT. HEROIC in street clothes.]] / CMDR. HEROIC: We're gonna have a long talk when we get home, Mister. / YOUNG CAP: Why? / CMDR.: I've told you. No one can know about our super powers. We have to keep them a secret. / YOUNG CAP (sullenly): *sigh* I have to blend into the background so I can put on bright underwear and become the center of attention. I have to pretend to be powerless so I can use my powers. I'm gonna need therapy when I get older. / [[CMDR. HEROIC snatches up YOUNG CAP and gives him a noogie.]] / CMDR. (smiling): If you get older, I will have done my job. The therapist can take it from there.
 
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic [[Lightning Lady answers the phone at Evil Inc's customer service desk]] / / Lightning Lady: Evil Inc... How may I harm you? / Caller: I need to return some potions. / / Caller: I bought potions guaranteed to heighten my senses. I want to return the bottles of "hearing" and "touch"... / / Caller: But I'd like to keep the complementary, 16-ounce bottle designed to improve my sight. / / Lightning Lady: Of course. Everyone's entitled to their pint of "view." / {{BGUIGAR@yahoo.com www.evil-comic.com (c) 2009 Brad J. Guigar All right reserved.}}
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[Flashback continues. CMDR. HEROIC and YOUNG CAPT. HEROIC arrive home. YOUNG CAP starts flying as soon as he's through the door.]] / YOUNG CAP: Mom! We're HOME! / CMDR. HEROIC: You are GROUNDED, Mister. / YOUNG CAP (hovering near his mother, MS. AMAZING, who's cooking while in full costume): But DAD! / CMDR. HEROIC: You heard me. No flying. / CMDR. HEROIC: I just spent three hours trying to explain how my son blew up the school without revealing my secret identity. / YOUNG CAP: I managed! / CMDR. HEROIC: Grrr! / CMDR. HEROIC: "Let's just get a ward," I said...but noooo...
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog CAPT. HEROIC: School was tough. I was still learning to use my powers...like my X-ray vision. / [[Flashback: YOUNG CAP is in school, but is using his X-ray vision to watch other kids playing out in the schoolyard.]] / TEACHER: Mr. Masters...? / TEACHER: ...are you paying attention? / [[She gets right in his face, as teachers do in this situation. YOUNG CAP's X-ray vision is still on, though, so he sees her bare skull.]] / YOUNG CAP: YAAAA! MONSTER! / [[And up comes his fist.]] / [[TEACHER is holding her hands over her face.]] / TEACHER: I tink du droke dy doze! / YOUNG CAP: Think THAT'S bad? Do the words pituitary adenoma mean anything to you?
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[Flashback: CMDR. HEROIC, in civilian clothes, is back at the school.]] / RECEPTIONIST: Go right in. Principal Penny is expecting you. / CMDR. HEROIC: *sigh* / [[He enters the office. PENNY and YOUNG CAPT. HEROIC are there.]] / PRINCIPAL PENNY: Ah, Max! We've been expecting you! Your son and I were just having a little chat! / {{So, given that YOUNG CAP's teacher addressed him as "Mr. Masters" in the previous strip, we can conclude that CMDR. HEROIC's real name is MAX MASTERS.}} / YOUNG CAP: Principal Penny was just telling me about these great places called "boarding schools!" / YOUNG CAP: Dad, where are the Himalayas? / MAX/CMDR. HEROIC: Too far for me to drive for daily meetings with the principal. / [[He glances at PRINCIPAL PENNY, who's grinning.]]
Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog [[Flashback continues with MAX (CMDR. HEROIC) MASTERS and PRINCIPAL PENNY.]] / MAX: I'm concerned that my son is becoming the school's "problem child." / PENNY: Ho-ho, now... / PENNY: We in the academic community do not subscribe to such terms, Mister Masters, nor do we accept the thinking behind them. / PENNY: As an educator and administrator of some twenty years, I can assure you that Alex is not a "problem child." / MAX: So what gives? / PENNY (hand on MAX's shoulder): Have you considered exorcism? / {{And now, we know CAPT. HEROIC's real name: ALEX MASTERS.}}
 

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