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| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[OSCAR, wearing his battlesuit, flies in the window.]]
/ OSCAR: Hi Dad! I'm HOME! / [[CAPT. HEROIC holds a slip of paper.]]
/ CAP: A disciplinary notice?! What did you do?
/ OSCAR: Heh! You haven't seen the news? / [[NEWS REPORTER on TV screen.]]
/ REPORTER: --the scene along the shore of Lake Fairmount as the explosion turned the sand into glass. Schoolchildren on a field trip nearby were--*click* / [[CMDR. HEROIC grins.]]
/ OSCAR: Why is Gran'pa smiling?
/ CAP: Because, Oscar, it seems paybacks are a beach. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091127.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc... How may I harm you?
/ PHONE VOICE: This is Detective Simmons from the Eighteenth Precinct. / SIMMONS: We've cracked your plan to steal the hands of Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, Fantasia Barrino, Carrie Underwood and a bunch of other singers. / SIMMONS: But it's driving me nuts...Why steal THESE PEOPLE'S HANDS?! / LIGHTNING LADY: Why Detective...They ARE the Devil's tools... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091128.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | MISS MATCH: Cap, we can't live like this. Evil Atom could strike at any MOMENT!
/ CAPT. HEROIC: Relax... / CAP: I had a little talk with him, remember?
/ MISS MATCH: But... / MISS MATCH: How long before he realizes you were BLUFFING about that "What happens to my family will happen to yours" thing? He fired me last week. How long could we have? / CAP: That depends. / [[In EVIL ATOM's bedroom, he's looking anxiously at his wife, KATE.]]
/ KATE: You don't like my slip? I just GOT it.
/ [[The slip is pink. She got a "pink slip."]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091130.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | MISS MATCH: We need to find a replacement for my income.
/ CAPT. HEROIC: We will...I started taking freelance graphic-design work. / MISS MATCH: You haven't done that kind of work for YEARS!
/ CAP: I'm a fast study! / CAP: For example, I'm working on a color project, so I went to buy a new knife to cut the Rubylith for the separations. / CAP: The guy at the store said they use COMPUTERS for that stuff now. So I bought this new Mac! I'm testing it out now!
/ MISS MATCH (offpanel): Impressive machine!
/ CAP (moving the mouse): Sure is! / CAP: ...but it STINKS at cutting Rubylith.
/ [[He's been trying to cut the Rubylith with the mouse.]] / {{Rubylith: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubylith}} http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091201.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[CAPT. HEROIC is sitting at his computer.]]
/ MISS MATCH: Are you doing revisions on your first project?
/ CAP: Yeah. They thought my first design was "dated." / CAP: So I threw in a bunch of square brackets and put drop shadows under everything, and now they love it!
/ MISS MATCH: You're a successful designer! / CAP: No. My ORIGINAL draft was the better solution. I gave my client the best possible piece DESPITE his influence...but it's NOT a successful design. / MISS MATCH: What does that make YOU?
/ CAP: PAID. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091202.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[ALEX MASTERS, a.k.a. CAPT. HEROIC, meets with a design client.]]
/ ALEX: So, you've had a chance to review my comps, and...
/ CLIENT: I'm still not sure... / CLIENT: See... I've made a sketch of how I think the design should look...Just move the photos down here...the text up here...the header over there... / ALEX: Hm. That's going to leave some trapped white space right in the middle of the design. / CLIENT: Hey... I'm not the designer. YOU work it out. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091203.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[ALEX (CAPT. HEROIC) MASTERS deals with a difficult client.]]
/ CLIENT: Could you make this design "pop" more? I think it should have so--
/ [[ALEX punches him in the face.]]
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091204.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc...How may I harm you?
/ PHONE VOICE: I need to use one of my sick days. / PHONE VOICE: Mystique came over for a date last night--her cobalt-colored skin drives me crazy... / PHONE VOICE: Anyway, I got a little too "handsy" and she ended up leaving in a huff. I'm just too depressed to come in to work. / LIGHTNING LADY: I'm sorry, but no one has ever used a sick day because they felt a little blue. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091205.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[NIGHT OWL is putting honey in his tea when VESPIDAE catches him.]]
/ VESPIDAE: STOP THAT! / VESPIDAE: Don't you know how many hours of bee labor it takes to make one teaspoon of honey?! ...Flying from flower to flower, ingesting nectar, regurgitating it into the mouth of a worker who spits it into a honeycomb to be cooled by hours of stirring and wing breeze?
/ NIGHT OWL: Re--regurg... / VESPIDAE: You like honey so much, why don't YOU try making some?
/ NIGHT OWL (looking nauseous): I think I'm ABOUT to... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091207.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | NIGHT OWL: I'm sorry I used honey in my tea. It's nothing personal...
/ VESPIDAE: I'm just asking you to THINK! / VESPIDAE: Think of all the hard-working drones who fought and died so you could enjoy nature's perfect food!
/ NIGHT OWL: Gosh, I...
/ [[THE DANDY passes by in the hallway and notices them talking.]] / [[THE DANDY walks up behind VESPIDAE and lights a cigarette.]]
/ VESPIDAE (not noticing THE DANDY): "Gosh" isn't going to bring any of those dead drones back! / [[THE DANDY blows a cloud of smoke at VESPIDAE, surrounding her head.]] / [[The smoke gradually clears. VESPIDAE says nothing.]] / [[VESPIDAE is now completely relaxed and staring at the ceiling.]]
/ NIGHT OWL: That thing about smoke calming bees is really true!
/ DANDY: Especially bees who quit a two-pack-a-day habit last month... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091208.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[THE DANDY holds up a pink envelope.]]
/ DANDY: Did you guys know it's the boss' birthday today? I got a card we could sign and--
/ VESPIDAE: Whoa! / VESPIDAE: No woman wants to be reminded of her birthday--unless it's a public display of devotion from her boyfriend. If we call attention to Lightning Lady's birthday like THIS, she's gonna be a LITTLE peeved. / THE DANDY: You're right.
/ [[He drops the card in a trash can.]] / [[Someone enters LIGHTNING LADY's office, carrying a card bigger than her desk. The rest of her team waits out in the hall with a cake and party hats. She has her back to the door.]]
/ LIGHTNING LADY (silently): Now what? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091209.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[LIGHTNING LADY is sitting glumly at her desk. MEMO pops up and wiggles a corner to get her attention.]] / [[MEMO climbs up on her desk.]] / MEMO: Why so glum? / LIGHTNING LADY: I just turned thirty-eight, I've ended a long-term relationship and I have no prospects... / MEMO: Hey! You're a cougar! / LIGHTNING LADY (brandishing a pair of scissors): Wanna see my claws?
/ MEMO: Nice kitty... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091210.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | MEMO: A woman reaches her sexual peak much later than a man.
/ LIGHTNING LADY: Sometimes HOURS later. / MEMO: But society finally accepts older women dating younger men!
/ LIGHTNING LADY: What are you saying?! / MEMO: One word... / MEMO: SIDEKICKS! Think of it! Eager...energetic...green short-shorts... / LIGHTNING LADY: I can't see myself robbin' the cradle.
/ MEMO: Think of it as cradling the Robin. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091211.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc, how may I harm you?
/ PHONE VOICE: I bought the animal telepathy kit... / PHONE VOICE: ...and for the most part, I'm happy. I can read every thought of Rex the Hell Hound. / PHONE VOICE: But every time Rex falls asleep, he projects absolutely NOTHING that is true. What should I do? / LIGHTNING LADY: Oh please...I think you should let sleeping dogs lie. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091212.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[LIGHTNING LADY is at the coffee shop when a paper airplane pokes her.]] / [[It's MEMO.]]
/ MEMO: Your problems are solved! / MEMO: I set you up on a date with a sidekick using a web site for capes looking for love! / LIGHTNING LADY: I do not want to date a younger man--especially a sidekick! Call it OFF! / SIDEKICK (offpanel): Holy pontoons!
/ MEMO: Too late. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091214.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[The SIDEKICK has joined LIGHTNING LADY at her table.]]
/ LIGHTNING LADY: Listen, kid, this just ain't going to work out.
/ SIDEKICK: Hey, I just thought you looked good on the dating site, so I agreed to meet you here. / SIDEKICK: Say...if you don't like younger men, why did you agree to meet ME? / LIGHTNING LADY: I...was put up to this by a well-meaning-but-stupid, sentient household object.
/ SIDEKICK: That's a thin excuse. / LIGHTNING LADY: PAPER thin.
/ MEMO: Does "sentient" mean cute? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091215.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | SIDEKICK: I can understand if you don't want to date me. We are very different. / LIGHTNING LADY: I'll say! I'm about ten years your senior.
/ SIDEKICK: FOR REAL? / LIGHTNING LADY: What differences were YOU talking about--the fact that I'm a villain?
/ SIDEKICK: You're a villain? / LIGHTNING LADY: *sigh*
/ SIDEKICK: No. By "differences," I just meant that you're the first super who hasn't tied me up within ten minutes of meeting me. / LIGHTNING LADY: I didn't know it was an option.
/ SIDEKICK (holding out his hands): Y'gotta get the wrists real tight! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091216.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | LIGHTNING LADY: You get tied up a LOT at work?
/ SIDEKICK: I'm a sidekick. It's kinda part of the gig. I'm totally used to it by now. / SIDEKICK: But...I didn't know you were a VILLAIN. My partner would never accept this.
/ [[He gets up to leave.]] / [[LIGHTNING LADY scowls and lightning crackles all around her.]] / [[The SIDEKICK is now tied to his chair.]]
/ LIGHTNING LADY: So...how long have you been a sidekick?
/ SIDEKICK: YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091217.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[LIGHTNING LADY returns to her office.]]
/ LIGHTNING LADY: *sigh*
/ MEMO: OK...so dating a sidekick ain't for you. / MEMO: Please tell me that you let him down easy. / LIGHTNING LADY: Easy? / [[Flashback to the end of her date. She's dangling the SIDEKICK over the side of a building by one ankle.]]
/ LIGHTNING LADY (narrating): "...it was a breeze."
/ SIDEKICK: Call me...? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091218.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc...how may I harm you?
/ PHONE VOICE: I bought the Evil Inc Guide to Cheating Foreign Governments... / PHONE VOICE: I've been here in Spain for a month, and all of my extorting and con jobs and embezzlement has gotten me almost no money! / PHONE VOICE: I heard that another villain made a mint in one, Italian city in way less time! What am I doing wrong?! / LIGHTNING LADY: Your expectations are too high. After all, Rome wasn't bilked in a day! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091219.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | EVIL ATOM: I know he's one of us. The distinctive laugh...the tricked-out vehicle...the covert intelligence... / EVIL ATOM: ...the hard-to-reach lair...the costumed lackeys...
/ He's one of the most powerful beings on the PLANET and he's a natural-born villain. / EVIL ATOM: ...and I want him to work HERE.
/ [[He hands LIGHTNING LADY a file folder.]] / LIGHTNING LADY: What if Santa says "NO?"
/ EVIL ATOM: Then he is a 'deer-and-present danger. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091221.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[LIGHTNING LADY and SANTA.]]
/ LIGHTNING LADY: Your answer is "YES"?! / [[SANTA appears to be wearing a green domino mask and a green cape with his usual red suit.]]
/ SANTA: Honey, I've been a villain all along. Sure, I leave a few trinkets under the tree, but that's after I spring a few safes and lift a few jewels. / FED (offpanel): We've heard enough, St. "Nick."
/ SANTA: Th' FEDS! / [[FED is handcuffing SANTA.]]
/ SANTA: You'll never keep me behind bars, G-man.
/ FED: Ain't no chimneys in the joint, Big Red. / SANTA: I was referring to my legal staff.
/ FED: Looks more like a quarter staff to me.
/ [[Several ELVES, dressed in business suits, have arrived.]]
/ ELF: Don't worry, Chief, we're gonna appeal.
/ SANTA: To pedophiles, maybe.
/ ELF: Et tu, Glutus? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091222.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | ELF: They're carting away Santa! ...and on Christmas EVE!
/ LIGHTNING LADY: Omigosh! Do you know what this means? / LIGHTNING LADY: It's up to me to SAVE CHRISTMAS!
/ [[Does a take.]]
/ Huh? / [[LIGHTNING LADY takes a number and joins the long line of characters waiting to save Christmas. Ahead of her are ELMO, MICKEY MOUSE, RUDLOPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER and HERBIE THE ELF, FROSTY THE SNOWMAN, YOGI BEAR and BOO BOO, the GRINCH, SCOOBY-DOO and MYSTERY INC, FRED FLINTSTONE, KERMIT THE FROG, HOMER SIMPSON, a SMURF and a couple of other characters.
/ A large sign reads NOW SAVING CHRISTMAS and shows number 86.]]
/ LIGHTNING LADY: *sigh* http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091223.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | LIGHTNING LADY: I'm pretty sure I know the gig. Jump in the sleigh and deliver gifts.
/ GREEN ELF: Dressed like that?
/ RED ELF: Do you know how COLD it gets up there? / [[She stands in front of a full-length mirror, wearing the new outfit the elves have whipped up for her. It's basically her standard costume, only in red with white fur trim instead of blue with yellow trim. No additional coverage whatsoever.]]
/ LIGHTNING LADY: I feel warmer already.
/ BLUE ELF: Me, too.
/ ELF BEHIND MIRROR: Hey. We're ELVES. Not pixies. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091224.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[GREEN ELF on the radio.]]
/ GREEN ELF: I need a situation report. How's it going?
/ LIGHTNING LADY (from the speaker): Not bad. but I'm running out of gift wrap! / [[LIGHTNING LADY is talking to the ELF on an iPhone.]]
/ GREEN ELF: Just use gift bags! / LIGHTNING LADY: Do we HAVE 55-gallon gift bags?
/ [[A MAN lies under his Christmas tree, bound and gagged with gift wrap. His eyes are wide and little hearts dance around his head as he stares at LIGHTNING LADY in all her scantily-holiday-clad splendor. It's clearly his Best Christmas Ever.]]
/ CHILD (offpanel and upstairs): Daddy? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091225.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc. How may I harm you?
/ PHONE VOICE: I'm the judge who released Dr. Sinister. / PHONE VOICE: I found out he's been on a one-man crime spree and I'm having trouble sleeping. / LIGHTNING LADY: I can put you in touch with some support groups, your honor, but it's important you know you're not alone. / LIGHTNING LADY: Many people deal with post-pardon depression. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091226.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | P.A. SPEAKER: Please stand by for an announcement by Evil Atom. / EVIL ATOM: Folks, it's no secret that this has been a brutal year. Companies have folded, filed for bankruptcy and cut their work forces drastically. I can't imagine anyone is sad to see the year come to an end. / EVIL ATOM: So I'm throwing an Evil Inc New Year's Eve party. You'll be receiving details soon. / VESPIDAE (reading her monitor): "B.Y.O.L.?"
/ DANDY: "Bring your own lackey." http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091228.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[DESDEMONA and IRON DRAGON are discussing the Evil Inc New Year's office party.]]
/ IRON DRAGON: We both spend forty-hours-a-week here. Do we really wanna spend New Year's here, too? / DESDEMONA: You know office politics. If you don't show up, you may not shine as brightly in the eyes of management. / DESDEMONA: Of course...We could always go to Daddy's place. Hades is so beautiful this time of year! / IRON DRAGON: Hm. So I'm damned if I do and dimmed if I don't. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091229.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[VESPIDAE is holding a sheet of paper and reading from it. The DANDY is reading over her shoulder.]]
/ VESPIDAE: Lemme see...using profanity...gossiping...overeating...being promiscuous...
/ DANDY: Resolutions? / VESPIDAE: Checklist.
/ [[Wide shot of the Evil Inc New Year's Eve party. A banner reads NEW YEAR'S EVIL. Visible among the revelers are DESDEMONA, LIGHTNING LADY, IRON DRAGON, EVIL ATOM, DR. MUSKIDAY, THE RHINO and a couple of other familiar-looking villains.]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091230.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | DESDEMONA: I didn't expect this to be a catered affair!
/ LIGHTNING LADY: Even the capers have capes!
/ [[They both have little dishes of capers, which do indeed have little capes attached.]] / WAITER: Would you ladies enjoy some cocktails? / DESDEMONA: I wonder who started putting little, plastic swords in drinks... / [[As DESDEMONA and LIGHTNING LADY pick up their drinks, we see a tiny PIRATE standing on the serving tray.]]
/ PIRATE: Enjoy, ladies! Let me know if you'd like a little cavi-aarrrr! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20091231.html |
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