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| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CRANIAC: Rachel, I have something I need to share with you... / CRANIAC: < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100205.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | PERSONNEL FILE: MR. REX
/ NAME: Rex
/ ORIGIN: Rex was created when a mad scientist cloned his fossilized DNA and hatched him in a laboratory. Quickly escaping, the monstrous creature level several American cities before disappearing into the jungles of South America. It was there that Evil Inc recruited him as a full-time staff member.
/ HISTORY: Rex bounced around a number of departments before becoming a trainer at the Evil Inc Charter School. He started out in Sales, but his useless arms made it difficult to key invoices into the company's system. That and he ate into profits. By eating clients.
/ POWERS: He's a really big dinosaur.
/ AGE: Several million years, technically
/ HEIGHT: 20 feet
/ WEIGHT: 5 tons
/ FAMILY: None http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100206.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | OSCAR: We won! We beat her!
/ ZIWWA: WOO-HOO!
/ VAMPIRE KID: That'll show 'er!
/ ROBOT KID: Hoo!
/ CRANIAC: Careful boys, there may be a counter-attack! / RACHEL: *Sniff*
/ [[She's crying. They all look at her.]] / [[And now OSCAR, ZIWWA and the VAMPIRE KID all look like they wish they were dead.]]
/ CRANIAC: That's the problem with biological warfare. There's ALWAYS a counter-attack! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100208.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[CRANIAC stands next to a podium in front of a poster-sized photo of the GREEN-HAIRED GIRL.]]
/ CRANIAC: Our enemy has said that somehow we'll grow up to fall in love with girls. / [[ECTODEETO enters. His body is composed of green ectoplasm.]]
/ CRANIAC (offpanel): To learn more about this threat, we're sending Ectodeeto in. / < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100209.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[RACHEL comes upon ECTODEETO, who has taken the shape of a little girl.]]
/ RACHEL: You must be a new girl!
/ ECTODEETO: You can say that again. / RACHEL: Lemme give you some advice. The boys here are weird. Do you wanna play dolls?
/ ECTODEETO: Sure!
/ [[He/she doesn't look quite as enthusiastic as he/she sounds.]] / [[ECTODEETO's doll poses beside her pink convertible.]]
/ ECTODEETO/DOLL: Which beach should we hit? Laguna? ...SOUTH Beach?
/ [[RACHEL's doll, accessorized with an olive-drab helmet and a rifle, rides in the turret of a tank.]]
/ RACHEL/DOLL: I was thinking: NORMANDY! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100210.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | [[CRANIAC and OSCAR are watching RACHEL and ECTODEETO from behind a hedge.]]
/ CRANIAC: We have to get him back! Ectodeeto can only hold his shape for so long...
/ OSCAR: ...too late...
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100211.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | CRANIAC: We have to find a way to defeat that GIRL!
/ OSCAR: When I get home, I'm going to ask my Mom for ideas. / CRANIAC: Oscar...Your Mom WAS a girl! / [[Silent panel as OSCAR ponders this for a moment.]] / OSCAR: She got better. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100212.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | PERSONNEL FILE: ECTODEETO / AGE: 7
/ HEIGHT: 4'
/ WEIGHT: 50 pounds
/ FAMILY: Mother Joanna and father Edgardo / NAME: Ectodeeto
/ ORIGIN: Ectodeeto's powers come from a genetic mutation. He learned to master his shape-shifting abilities early in life, often using them to sneak into baseball stadiums to watch his beloved Phillies.
/ HISTORY: As early as Kindergarten, Ectodeeto found he could transform his shape--but he hadn't considered a life of super-villainy until he found out he'd been deceived by his parents who hadn't told him about ESPN until he was well into his seventh year. He plots his revenge daily. Right after "SportsCenter."
/ POWERS: Besides being able to morph into any shape for a limited period of time, Ectodeeto is an accomplished athlete. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100213.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[CMDR. HEROIC views the Earth from space.]]
/ CMDR. HEROIC: The Earth looks so majestic from here... / CMDR. HEROIC: It really makes you appreciate the grandeur of it all... / [[He's standing on the surface of the moon.]]
/ CMDR. HEROIC: Nonetheless...
/ I wish I could remember why came here in the first place. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100215.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[COMMANDER HEROIC sits in what appears to be a doctor's office.]]
/ CMDR. HEROIC: It's weird, Doc...most of the time, I'm fine. Then--BOOM!--I can't remember the simplest things. / HEROIC: When I have these "senior moments," it really makes it hard for me to move forward.
/ DOCTOR (offpanel): Push harder. / HEROIC: I know I SHOULD, it's just that... / [[He's not in an office, he's in the maternity ward. In a delivery room, in fact. During a delivery.]]
/ EXPECTANT MOTHER: NOT...
/ YOU... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100216.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[CAPT. HEROIC and CMDR. HEROIC on patrol.]]
/ {{To reduce confusion, CAP will be "CAP" and CMDR. HEROIC will be "DAD" for this transcript.}}
/ CAP: You OK, Dad? You seem lost in thought...
/ DAD: I'm not. / DAD: When I was young I got lost in thought...My mind wandered aimlessly, taking wild turns and going on epic journeys. / CAP: No more?
/ DAD: Son... / DAD: I don't get lost in thought anymore...I get stranded. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100217.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[CAPT. HEROIC {{"CAP" for this transcription}} and CMDR. HEROIC {{"DAD"}} fly toward an airliner with an engine on fire.]]
/ CAP: Have you thought about taking supplements to help your memory?
/ DAD: I tried...I could never remember to take those pills every morning...gingko biloba, I think it was called... / CAP: Heh...Every time I hear that word, I think of a cross between a movie prizefighter and an insurance-selling lizard. / [[Shot of a lizard in boxing gear.]]
/ LIZARD: YO! ADRIAN!
/ We coulda saved fifteen percent... / [[DAD lowers the plane gently to earth.]]
/ DAD: Son...I want to thank you...seriously. I needed that.
/ CAP: Helps to laugh, eh? / [[They fly off.]]
/ DAD: Nope. But it helps to know that, soon, I won't be able to remember THIS either. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100218.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[MS. AMAZING welcomes CMDR. HEROIC home with a kiss on the cheek.]]
/ MS. AMAZING: Tough day at the office?
/ CMDR. HEROIC: You know what they say...getting old stinks, but it beats the alternative...heh-heh. / MS. AMAZING: Well, sit down. I have your favorite dinner on the table...Lima bean casserole and fresh okra-and-spinach salad.
/ HEROIC: That's not my favorite... / AMAZING: Sure it is...DON'T YOU REMEMBER...?
/ HEROIC: O-oh. Yeah...right...my favorite...yeah... / AMAZING (to herself): I should feel guilty...but it's the best he's eaten in months... http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100219.html |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100220.html">http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100220.html | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | IRON DRAGON: Ugh. I gotta go to the men's room.
/ DESDEMONA: Are you ill? / IRON DRAGON: Not yet.
/ [[He goes inside.]]
/ DESDEMONA: ?? / [[Inside the men's room, IRON DRAGON is confronted by one standard urinal and several other waste-disposal devices which boggle the mind--one seems to involve a clam-shell device and a press and another looks like a helmet with spikes inside!]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100222.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[IRON DRAGON is in a stall in the men's room.]]
/ VOICE FROM NEXT STALL: Oh! Certainly... / [[THE-FLASH-BUT-NOT-REALLY flies over the partition and lands in IRON DRAGON's lap.]] / [[THE-FLASH-BUT-NOT-REALLY takes off at super-speed.]] / IRON DRAGON: I said...courtesy FLUSH! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100223.html |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100224/">http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100224/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[IRON DRAGON is washing his hands in the men's room. Next to the sinks hangs a sign.]]
/ SIGN: ALL EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100225.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[IRON DRAGON waves his wet hand in front of the sensor for the paper towel dispenser.]] / [[...again...]] / [[...and again and again and AGAIN, getting more frustrated...]] / [[...and he flails wildly with both hands...]]
/ IRON DRAGON: AARRGGHH! / [[..and a tiny strip of towel comes out.]]
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100226.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | PERSONNEL FILE: SCARAB
/ NAME: Fabian Finster
/ ORIGIN: Fabian was an explorer who happened upon a secluded African tribe. He deceived them, telling them he was an angry god who had come to deliver his wrath. In a sacrificial offering, the tribe gave him its most prized possession, a bug sculpted out of shiny, silver metal.
/ HISTORY: The statue had been carved out of a mysterious meteorite that had fallen outside the village. It gave Fabian amazing powers--and amplified the evil in his heart. He was killed in the 1960s but revived in 2010.
/ POWERS: Scarab can fly, deliver devastating energy beams and has limited telekinesis.
/ AGE: 120
/ HEIGHT: 6'2"
/ WEIGHT: 210 pounds
/ FAMILY: None http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100227.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[EVIL ATOM, in his office, uses the intercom.]]
/ EVIL ATOM: Desdemona...prepare a flyer on the annual invention contest. / [[A small cluster of black dots drops onto his shoulder.]]
/ < http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100301.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[DESDEMONA tries to find space for her flyer on the crowded bulletin board.]]
/ DESDEMONA: Some of this stuff is so old! You'd think someone would take some of it down! / [[She starts taking other flyers down.]]
/ DESDEMONA: I mean, seriously..."Wanted: Live mice. Contact Dr. Curt Connors." Ick. / DESDEMONA: And what could this possibly mean: "For the love of God, Montresor..." / DESDEMONA: Oh.
/ [[Behind the "For the love of God" flyer is a cavity in which we see a human skeleton. Tough break, there, Fortunato.]] http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100302.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | Desdemona: Do you have anything ready for the Invention Contest?
/ Dr. Muskiday: Do I? / Dr. Muskiday: Y'know those power rings -- each color channels a different emotion to create energy constructs? / Dr. Muskiday: Well, what if you're not feeling the emotion the ring REQUIRES? MY ring changes color to match YOU! / Desdemona: A POWER MOOD RING! How 'Seventies' of you!
/ Dr. Muskiday: In rioghteous day, or boogie night; no jive or funk escapes my sight. Let all who groove on evil's might beware my mo-jo... DYN-O-MITE! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100303.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | DR. HAYNUS: I'll show you my invention, but you must keep it a secret. / DR. HAYNUS: It's software for your iPhone that tells you which villains nearby might be available to assist you in your plot. / DR. HAYNUS: It matches you by compatibility, nemeses and other variables. / DESDEMONA: That's wonderful!
/ DR. HAYNUS: Exactly! Who doesn't like a super-villain team-app? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100304.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[EVIL ATOM hands IRON DRAGON a trophy.]]
/ EVIL ATOM: Congratulations on winning the invention contest.
/ IRON DRAGON: Thanks! / IRON DRAGON: It was simple, really. I just figured...everyone's uploading their stuff to THE CLOUD, right? Well...my invention makes it STORM! / [[He presses a button and a black cloud forms overhead. Ones and zeroes rain down into a tub on the floor.]]
/ IRON DRAGON: I get identities, bank numbers, passwords...Even WoW gold!
/ {{"WoW": World of Warcraft.}} / EVIL ATOM (holding an umbrella): DORK RAIN!
/ IRON DRAGON: Look! A retirement 401(k)! ...Bennies from heaven! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100305.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - A Daily Webcomic | LIGHTNING LADY: Evil Inc...How may I harm you?
/ PHONE VOICE: Do you do birthday parties? / PHONE VOICE: I need to arrange one for one of the gods up here in Asgard. Something simple: A cake, a few flowers, maybe some music. Nothing too fancy. And it has to be a secret. / PHONE VOICE: He doesn't want a lot of people to know about it.
/ LIGHTNING LADY: I get it.
/ Low key. / PHONE VOICE: Aw, man...you guessed. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100306.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | CAPTION: Captain Heroic's alter ego: The graphic designer.
/ [[CAP sits in front of a computer--in full costume, so he's presumably working at home. He's on the phone.]]
/ CAP: Mr. Canti...I'm trying to design that PowerPoint presentation for your seminar, but I have a problem. / CANTI: I'm supposed to be speaking to a packed auditorium on THURSDAY. What's wrong. / CAP: Each of the photos you sent is about thirty megabytes apiece! / CANTI: Well, yes...the screen we've got to project on is HUGE! http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100308.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[CAPT. HEROIC is still on the phone with his design client.]]
/ CLIENT: What does this E-MAIL mean?! I didn't send you any NEW EMPLOYEES! / CAP: Huh?
/ CLIENT: Those "HIRES" you said I sent... / CAP: No..."Hi-Res"...as in "HIGH RESOLUTION." You sent HI-RES files. You need to send me "LOW-RES." And make them RGB while you're at it. The CMYK looks awful!
/ {{RGB: Red-Green-Blue. Preferred for monitors. CMYK: Cyan-Magenta-Yellow-Black.}} / CLIENT: I'll never be able to do all of that AND mail you a new CD! / CAP (getting a headache): OK. Let's knock off some easy targets. Have you decided on a title for your presentation?
/ CLIENT: Yes! "Photography in the Digital Age." http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100309.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | [[CAPT. HEROIC is still on the phone with his design client.]]
/ CLIENT: All my files have been sent...so let's "WIN ONE FOR THE 'GIFFER!'"
/ Get it? 'Cause I sent you "GIF" formatted files? / CAPT. HEROIC: Actually, the original developers pronounced it "jiff." / CAP: Also..."GIF" stands for "Graphic Interchange Format." So saying "GIF format" is redundant. / CLIENT: ... / CLIENT: Should I send JPEGs instead? http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100310.html |
| Evil Inc. by Brad Guigar - Daily Super-Villain Webcomic and Comics Blog | MISS MATCH: Tough day, Hon?
/ CAPT. HEROIC: I worked for a client from hell, then battled nether-demons downtown. / MISS MATCH: It gets worse...Oscar's teacher assigned a "family project" for his science class.
/ CAP: "Family project?" / MISS MATCH: I think it's a new thing in education. The teachers can see that the parents end up putting a lot of work into their kids' school projects, so this just kinda makes it official. / CAP: I think I missed a nether-demon...
/ MISS MATCH: Unless it has plans to a science project, it's a free demon. http://evil-comic.com/archive/20100311.html |
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