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US Senate Approves "Guest Worker" Immigration Program President Bush insisted that a "guest worker program" would provide a legal way of matching immigrant workers with employers, by giving them jobs that Americans did not want. / Aunt Beru:"Luke!... Tell your uncle if he gets a translator; make sure it speaks "Bachi"!"
63 Year Old Woman Becomes Britain's Oldest Mother A 63 year old woman became Britain's oldest mother-to-be after undergoing a controversial procedure involving a donated egg and treatment from over 50 different "fertility specialists".
United States Offers Direct Talks with Iran Iran dismissed the United States' offer to meet face-to-face as a "propaganda move", when it was announced that America's chief negotiator would be none other than "Rocky Balboa".
Today's Cartoon: FEMA Loses $1.4 Billion in Katrina Aid to Bogus Claims Hurricane Katrina victims were outraged that F.E.M.A. had used relief funds to pay for a sex-change operation, until they discovered that the new penis could also detect hurricanes. / Katrina Victim:"There's a storm coming! Quick! Get the children to higher ground!"
6.7 Magnitude Earthquake Rocks Hawaii Following a 6.7 magnitude earthquake that rocked Hawaii, a series of strong aftershocks prompted state officials to immediately ban all unnecessary hula dancing by tourists. / Tourist:"...oops"
 
Robert Gates Becomes New U.S. Defense Secretary Newly appointed U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates warned that failure in Iraq would be a "calamity" that haunted the United States for decades... like the Chicago Cubs, / Chicago Cub Mascot:"*sigh*"
Zimbabwe Cracks Down on Political Protests Allegations of police brutality against Zimbabwe's main opposition leader prompted the Mugabe government to use its crackdown on "political protests" against itself... / Zimbabwe Police Officer: "Okay... Now it's your turn!"
Star Wars 30th Anniversary To celebrate the 30th anniversary of "Star Wars", fans of the film series dressed-up as their favorite character, stood in a line for over 12 hours... and went home disappointed. / Star Wars Fan: "...Why do I keep doing this to myself?"
Tom Cruise Barred From Filming In Germany Due to his belief in Scientology, the German military barred actor Tom Cruise from filming a movie about a failed plot to kill Adolf Hitler... unless he agreed to play the bomb. / Tom Cruise: "...This is just a prop, right?"
Charlie Sheen's 9/11 Conspiracy Theory Ignored By Mainstream Media Charlie Sheen's 9/11 "conspiracy theory" was not considered "news worthy", until he said it while snorting cocaine off of a prostitute's ass.
 
The 7/11 Train bombings in Mumbai India The date of the 7/11 train bombings in Mumbai India indicated to many that the attacks were either carried out by "Al Qaeda", or by a group of disgruntled convenience store employees.
British Mom Retains Custody of 200 Pound Eight-Year Old Despite worldwide media scrutiny, a British mother retained custody of her obese son, when social workers could not pull the 200 pound eight-year old through the front door. / Eight-year Old: "...I'm hungry!"
Al Qaeda Suspect Confesses to 9/11 Plot Concerns arose that the "confession" of alleged 9/11 planner Khalid Sheikh Mohammad was coerced through torture... when he also claimed responsibility for the extinction of dinosaurs. / Terrorist: "Allah Ackbar!..."
Iraq Bombings Claims Nearly 200 In the deadliest attack since U.S. forces launched a security crackdown in Baghdad, car bombs killed more than 170 Iraqis; indicating that the "surge" was working... just not for them. / George W. Bush: "See!... I told you all it needed was a chance to suceed!... So what's the bad news?"
CIA Criticizes George Tenet Over 9/11 A declassified report accused former CIA chief George Tenet of not doing enough to prevent the 9.22 terrorist attacks and recommended that disciplinary action be taken against him... / George Tenet: "Another Presidential Medal of Freedom?" / George W. Bush: "Heckuva' job, Tenet!"
 
9/11, Osama Bin Laden and Britney Spears On the sixth anniversary of 9/11, Osama Bin Laden released another audio message, praising the "career suicide" bombing of Britney Spears at the MTV Video Music Awards... / Osama Bin Laden: "Gimme' more... gimme' more..."
Bill Maher Heckled by 9/11 Truthers: Today's Cartoon During a live broadcast of "Real Time with Bill Maher" the comedian and political commentator ejected 9/11 conspiracy theorists from his audience, for interrupting the show... / Bill Maher: "Do you know what else is an "inside job"?... Security!"
Slobodan Milosevic: 1941 - 2006 The sudden death of former Yugoslavian President Slobodan Milosevic, at the Hague; immedately gave rise to a variety of "conspiracy theories"... / Slobodan Milosevic:"Damn it, Morpheus! This ain't "The Matrix"!" / Morpheus:"Oops!... Wrong pills."
The 2006 "Oscars" At this year's "Oscars"; the ceremony's "anti-piracy" message was quickly lost during during its "Pirate Movie", tribute montage. / Pirate:"...Arr!"
"6/6/06" The Day of the Beast! The sixth day of the sixth month of the sixth year of the new millennium had the lowest birth rate in history, because nobody wanted to give birth to the "Antichrist". / Nurse:"Push!..." / Patient:"I am pushing!" / Nurse:"I was talking to the Doctor!"
 
Anna Nicole Smith 1967-2007 Following the sudden death of troubled star and former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith, Federal Railroad Inspectors were sent in to investigate the "train wreck". / Railroad Inspector:"What a waste of a fine caboose."
Now Available! Beyond the Punchline: 2006 Year in Review I just wanted to let you all know that the first full year of my "Beyond the Punchline" web-comic is now (finally) available in print. http://www.lulu.com/content/718152

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