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|First Comic||Elliot: Hello, I'm Elliot. This thing to my left is named Tedd. / Tedd: Sup. / Elliot: As you are probably aware, this is our first comic, and as you know, first comics always suck. / Tedd: Always. / Elliot: And of course, our first comic will be no exception. / Tedd: Yup. / Elliot: Oh, and in case you...|
|Oink||Elliot: As you are painfully aware, we are still in the introductory stages of this comic. / Tedd: Which sucks. / Elliot: So to make things more interesting, we will now have bikini-clad women randomly in the background of our comics!!!! / Tedd: Hell yeah! / [[The two thrust their fists into the air,...|
|He Deserved That, Folks||Elliot: Hey. This is Sarah, the prude.
/ Sarah: Oh, I'm not a prude! / Tedd: Oh yeah?!?! Then STRIP!!!
/ Elliot: Oh crap... / <
|A Noble Cause||Elliot: Bad news: The first story won't be ready to start until next week. / Tedd: What do we do until then? / Elliot: The one thing we can do, my friend... / Sign: The Get Sarah To Wear A Bikini Fund / Narrator: God speed, lads...|
|Title: Where DID that come from?||Sarah: The Get Sarah To Wear A Bikini Fund?!?! / Elliot: Well, you weren't doing it for free. / Tedd: So we figured we'd raise fifty bucks and see what happened. / Sign: The Get Sarah To Wear A Bikini Fund / Sarah: ...Do you know what time it is? / Elliot: Bikini time? / Sarah: Time to die... / Elliot:...|
|If You Take Offense it's Your Own Dirty Mind's Fault||Dr. Germahn: Guten tag. I am a stereotypical German scientist. Many of you have wondered where the hell that hammer came from yesterday. The answer? Quite simple. / Dr. Germahn: You see, when a woman is offended, she can make a hammer appear out of nowhere to use in the task of pounding the offender....|
|EGS Story for Sunday, January 27, 2002 - Copyright 2002-08 Dan Shive||Sign: Moperville North / Elliot: Is it just me, or does the school look like it was made by tracing an image of Dan's old school in order to compensate for his inability to draw perspective well? / Tedd: It's you. Shut up. / Elliot: This is our school, Moperville North. We're juniors here, and... / Tedd:...|
|Not Again||Teacher: Now remember, class... The creation of goo is very important to all of your futures!!! / Tedd (off panel): Um, teach? / Teacher (thinking): Uh oh... / Teacher: Yes, tedd? / Tedd (off panel): Our goo kinda of came to life and slithered away... Is that bad?|
|Splip Splort Sploop||Tedd: I can't believe we're hunting goo...
/ Elliot: Well, it's your fault it's alive so keep looking / (off panel, could be Tedd or Elliot): Hey, there it is!!!
|Bad Goo! You're Off the Team!||Elliot: Damn! Where did it escape to so quickly?!?! / [[The goo is getting in to a can of "steroids"]] / Elliot: I sense a disturbance in the goo... / Tedd: I thought i found it, but it turned out to be a sponge.|
|There's an Inside Joke in Here...||Tedd: This sucks! Everyone else has already gone home! / Elliot: We should split up; we'll find it faster that way. / Tedd: Split up?! Are you mad?! There's goo out there! Going alone is suicide! / Elliot: Oh, c'mon! It's goo! What are you afraid of? / Tedd: Um... er... goo makes me puke? / Elliot: Sure...|
|So I Got Lazy With the Background After the First Panel. Got a Problem With That?!||Elliot (thinking): Where is this goo?! I wonder if it dried up or something... / Elliot (thinking): Maybe it ended up in the cafeteria-- HOLY CRAP!!! / Elliot: Um... hello, Mr. giant goo monster... any chance of me just leaving safely? / Goo: GRRRRR... / Elliot: Crud.|
|How Is It Possible For Something To Be Over Before It's Over?||SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!! / (Goo) VS (Elliot, holding sign: 'Elliot') / Be sure to place your potentially illegal and morally objectionable bets now 'cause once this one gets started it won't be over till it's over!!!|
|(no title)||Elliot: Bring it on... / Goo: HSSSSS...!!! / [[the goo slams a large "fist" down; Elliot dodges]]
|Man, What's the Point if No One's in There?||Elliot: There you are, Tedd! Listen, I found the goo, but...
/ Tedd: No I was not in the girls locker room!!! / Elliot: Um... what?
/ Tedd: OK maybe I was but it's not like anyone was in there!!!! / <
|Don't Get the Dragon Warrior Joke? Play More Video Games, Dagnabbit!||Tedd: Hmm... so it's become a giant monster... how did you escape? / Elliot: Simple! I told it a hero from Dragon Warrior was behind it and ran when its back was turned! / Tedd: Of course! Any monster that is anything like a slime would naturally fear a dragon warrior hero! / Elliot: I don't think that...|
|...So the Goo is Going to Burn THEM?||[[Outside of the school. Elliot is moving away from an unidentified person]] / Elliot: Thanks for the lighter! / Elliot: Ok Tedd, I got the lighter! Now what? / Tedd: Well, as we're already outside, why not go home? / Elliot: Home?! We're not leaving that goo in there!!! / Tedd: It was just a suggestion. / Elliot:...|
|So... the Goo ISN'T Setting Them on Fire???||Tedd: The Goo is only able to maintain its current form due to a delicate balance of liquids and solids. It is absorbent, so if we drench it with water the balance should be undone and all we'll have to do is clean up a puddle! Of course, not every area of the school has sprinklers so we should wait...|
|I Wonder how Long Ago that was...||Tedd: Now Elliot, now! Use fire from the lighter to activate the sprinkler system!!! / Elliot: It's not working! Something's wrong with the sprinklers!!! / Tedd: WHAT?! / [[Several years ago...]] / Science Teacher: Sir, we really should get the sprinklers fixed. / Principal Verrückt: NEIN! The school...|
|If You Saw this Coming, You're a Freakin' Psychic||[[Elliot and Tedd on one side, the goo on the other]] / Ted: Um... Elliot? Any ideas? / Elliot: Only one... And I really hate to do it, but... / Ted: Um, you ok...? / Elliot: AAAAAAAAA!!!!|
|(no title)||Goo: <
|Man do I Love Knowing Who that is and Knowing that You Don't||[[Saturday, 2 PM]] / [[Elliot picks up the phone, still in bed]] / Elliot: *snort* Hello? / Phone: Elliot! It's Sarah! You and Tedd are in todays paper! / Sarah: It talks about how Tedd brought goo to life and how you destroyed it! / Phone (Elliot): Well, yeah, some guys interviewed us. I guess to some...|
|Something Very Similar to this has Happened to Me...||Sarah: So um, Elliot... I was thinking maybe we should see a movie tonight... / Phone (Elliot): Cool! I'll call Tedd. / Sarah: T-Tedd? A-Actually, I was thinking just the two of us would go to a movie, together... / Phone (Elliot): But Tedd will get lonely! We really should include him. / Sarah: He can...|
|Tedd Doesn't Seem to Handle the Cold Very Well||[[outside of the movie theater]] / Elliot: So many movies... Alright, what should we see? / Sarah: Anything but a "chick flick". / Tedd (shaking from the cold): B-But y-you a-are a ch-chick... / Sarah: So?! My movie preferences are not defined by my gender! / [[Elliot has put his coat over his head]] / Elliot...|
|The Only Thing That Guy Plays is Video Games||Elliot: 3 students for Attack of the Frozen Waffle. / TC: You are the MAN! / Elliot: Huh? / TC: Those two fine ladies are with you, right? Way to go, playah! / Elliot: What? First of all, only one-- Wait, this is too much change... / TC: Now, I can't charge full price to a fellow playah like yourself....|
|I Like This One||[[Elliot and Sarah next to each other in the theater, watching the movie:]] / <<"What is it I'm looking at here?">> / <<"Well, General, it's... a frozen waffle.">> / <<"This is what destroyed an entire city?!">> / <<"It is more dangerous than it appears!">> / [[Sarah looking at Elliot]] / <<"You, Dr....|
|Heeheeheehee!!!||[[Elliot driving his car back home, Sarah next to him, Tedd in the back]] / Tedd: That was the worst movie ever. Ever I say! / Sarah: Oh, and the Bionic Lesbians would've been better? / Tedd: Ebort gave it two thumbs up! / Elliot: Your house, Tedd. / [[Tedd outside]] / Tedd (thinking): Waffles versus lesbians......|
|(no title)||Girl in trench coat: A-Are you Tedd? That guy who made goo come to life? / Tedd: Um, yeah, that's me. But who are you? / Girl: I'm Grace. Can we, um, go inside? I'm cold. / Tedd: Now wait a minute... I've never met you before, and-- / Um, what are you wearing underneath that trench coat? / Grace: Well,...|
|There's a Secret Within the Last Panel...||[[On panel: Grace as seen in the previous comic]] / [[Narrator: Just WHO is this young woman? She claims to be named Grace, and for some reason wants some sort of help from Tedd as a result of his goo exploits.]] / [[On panel: Tedd's father, Mr. Verres, as seen in the previous comic]] / [[Narrator: And...|
|You Can Call Me Grace, or You Can Call Me Shade...||Mr. Verres: Shade... does anyone in your family know that you're here? / Tedd: "Shade"...? / Grace: No, they don't. / Mr. Verres: Good, let's hope it remains that way. Tedd, make up the guest room. Shade here will be staying with us. See if you can get that girl Sarah to help get her some decent clothes...|
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