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| Dum-Dum-DUM! | Tedd: OK dad, while Grace is changing her clothes tell me what's going on! Aren't we going to get in trouble for keeping her from her family? How do you know her? Why do you call her Shade? / Mr. Verres: DGB. / [[Grace is standing behind Tedd, wearing his clothes]]
/ Tedd: How is Grace "Dad's Government Business"?
/ Grace: It's a long story, Tedd. Thanks for the clothes.
/ They fit surprisingly well... http://egscomics.com/d/20020220.html |
| WHAT?! But... Past... Reveal... argh! | Tedd: Listen, Grace, I don't mean to sound rude, but why are you here?
/ Grace: ...You called me Grace. / Tedd: Huh? Um, well yeah. That is your name, isn't it? / Grace: Tedd, I came here to get help from you... but first I want you to get to know me as Grace, and not as Shade or anything else! ...Can you do that for me? / Tedd: You're confusing the hell out of me, but I suppose I can do that...
/ Grace: Thank you. http://egscomics.com/d/20020221.html |
| Dude, Where's My Hammer? | [[Tedd and Grace are sitting on a sofa]]
/ Tedd: Man, there's nothing good on TV. Wanna do something else?
/ Grace: I dunno. Anything "normal" would be good. / Tedd: Really? Cause ya know, it's technically normal for people to sleep together...
/ Grace: Ah, but not if they've just met and aren't in a relationship. / Tedd: (Thinking) Don't fall for it, stay on your guard... Just wait for the hammer... Any second now...
/ Grace: ...Um, are you feeling OK? You look kinda frozen... http://egscomics.com/d/20020222.html |
| Creepy, isn't it? | Vlad: Did you find her?
/ Damien: No. / Vlad: Dammit, Shade! Why have you left us?!
/ Damien: Shall I look again? / Vlad: ...No, we have more pressing concerns at the moment.
/ Damien: Enjoy your time off, Shade... it will not last. http://egscomics.com/d/20020223.html |
| (no title) | [[Today I toss aside the standard Sunday format to bring you the second comic I made for my school newspaper. Originally it was planned that the first comic I'd have in the paper would be made just for it, but due to a tight deadline the first three comics that were posted online were used and supposedly caused some controversy thanks to Tedd telling Sarah to strip along with a couple of minor swear words being tossed in, not to mention the whole bikini thing. / [[Elliot and Tedd. Tedd is puffing on a novelty bubble pipe.]]
/ Elliot: Hello, I'm Elliot. If Tedd wasn't so busy testing out his experimental super novelty bubble pipe, he's join me in apologizing for our first three comics. / Elliot: Apparently some people were offended, but we honestly didn't think anyone would be! Material similar to what we had is on TV all the time, be it on network, cable, premium channel...it's always there! The Simpsons, The Sopranos, Looney Tunes...it's everywhere you look! / [[Tedd looks astonished as the bubbles turn menacing. Elliot is oblivious]]
/ Elliot: Yessir, violence is bad and Sarah should be ashamed of hitting Tedd as violence is most certainly not the answer! We are very sorry you had to witness such a display of gratuitous violence, even if she was provoked by Tedd's behavior! / [[Tedd is hidden by clouds of violence as the bubbles savage him. Elliot still hasn't noticed and is making a "peace" sign]]
/ Elliot: But don't worry folks! From now on, no more violence! Just peace and relaxation El Goonish Shive style!
/ < http://egscomics.com/d/20020224.html |
| Oh, Like your phone isn't | {{Sunday, 2 PM}
/ [[Tedd is talking to Elliot on the telephone]]
/ Tedd: Hey Elliot, it's...
/ Elliot (phone): No way! It's my day off! Get Randal to do it!
/ {{This is a reference to the View Askew movie "Clerks"; there is no actual character named Randal at this point.}} / Tedd: ...huh?
/ Elliot (phone): What? Oh... Uh, sorry about that. What's up, Tedd? / [[Tedd looks off-panel]]
/ Tedd: Listen, I want you to come over. Something crazy happened last night and-- uh, hold on for a second.
/ Tedd: Yeah Dad? / [[Elliot in bed, still on phone]]
/ Tedd (phone): OK, apparently odds are good that your phone is tapped so I can't get into the details just now. Can ya come over? http://egscomics.com/d/20020225.html |
| Tedd has Eyes? | [[Elliot and Mr. Verres are talking]]
/ Mr. Verres: Ah, hello Elliot! Now, let's see... Tedd was either upstairs studying or downstairs working in that lab I gave him... / < http://egscomics.com/d/20020226.html |
| That's the Problem with First Impressions | [[Elliot is petting Jeremy]]
/ Elliot: Ah Jeremy... What's it like being a creature nature never intended?
/ Jeremy: Merow? / [[Grace walks up and offers hand]]
/ Grace: Oh hi! You must be Elliot! / Elliot: And you must be a robot as there's no way a hot chick like you would be in Tedd's lab!
/ Grace: What?! I'm not a robot!!! / Elliot: Aw man, I'm sorry... He didn't kidnap you, did he? http://egscomics.com/d/20020227.html |
| Ever played Black & White? | Grace: Tedd... after all I've seen, there is one question I must ask... / Grace: Do you enjoy playing God?! / [[Tedd is playing a game on the computer, with Elliot and Grace standing nearby]]
/ Tedd: Why yes, yes I do.
/ Elliot: Hey, that village doesn't believe in you.
/ Grace: When do I get a turn?
/ Tedd: After I burn this village to the ground. http://egscomics.com/d/20020228.html |
| Banned? Don't Wanna Know | [[Elliot and Tedd are talking]]
/ Elliot: So that's how you two met? Twisted.
/ Ted: Yup. / Elliot: And you want me to convince Sarah to help get Grace some clothes of her own?
/ Tedd: I'd do it, but no fashion sense and I'm banned from that area of the mall. / [[Grace is playing games on the computer]]
/ Elliot: We'll need to know what size clothes she wears.
/ Tedd: Could be a while; I think she's addicted.
/ Grace: No! Bad cow! Stop eating all of my villagers!!! http://egscomics.com/d/20020301.html |
| And YOU thought She was the NORMAL one | [[Elliot and Tedd are talking]]
/ Elliot: Ok, it took some convincing and a whole lot of complimenting of her artistic skill and fashion sense, but she's on her way.
/ Tedd: Why is she coming here? We just need her to get clothes. / Elliot: Eh, I think my compliments went to her head. She said something about needing to see Grace to know what to get her.
/ Tedd: I never thought Sarah would come back to my house... / Elliot: Hey, you turned her back to normal. She's got no reason to hold a grudge.
/ < http://egscomics.com/d/20020302.html |
| (no title) | [[Sarah and Elliot are talking]]
/ Sarah: So where is this girl "Grace"?
/ Elliot: Well, I believe at the moment Tedd is trying to drag her away from his computer.... / [[Tedd is pulling Grace by the arm]]
/ Tedd: C'mon Grace, Sarah needs to see you if she'd going to get you stuff!
/ Grace: But... but I was about to trade in my cow for a sheep!
/ Tedd: In that case, I'm doing you a huge favor! / Tedd: Here ya go.
/ Sarah: You're resorting to wearing Tedd's clothes? This is an emergency! / Sarah: Wait... the reason you need me to do this for you is because someone dangerous might see and recognize you?
/ Grace; um... sorta... / Sarah: Join me in the next room, Grace. I have an idea... / Tedd: You see that?! Sarah wants to be alone with Grace! Man, I knew she was a lesbian!!!
/ Elliot: Right... that would explain her wanting to go out with me. / Tedd: She wants to go out with you?! Since when?!
/ Elliot: Woah! / [[Sarah and Grace return. Grace's hairstyle is now changed, and she is wearing glasses]]
/ Sarah: TA-DA!!! / Grace: I look ridiculous.
/ Sarah: Well, this look is just so you can go out without someone recognizing you! / Tedd: Just think of it like normally you're Super man and this is Clark Kent.
/ Elliot (thinking) : She didn't look ridiculous before? / Sarah: And now that you're disguised, to the mall!
/ Grace: Noooo my villagers need me!!! http://egscomics.com/d/20020303.html |
| A Girl With Her Priorities Straight | [[The mall]] / Sarah: Let's see, probably the first thing we should get you is a decent coat to wear... / Grace: VIDEO GAMES!!!
/ Sarah: Now hold on, that money Tedd's dad gave us is meant only to be spent on-- / < http://egscomics.com/d/20020304.html |
| A Stupid Question | Grace: Man, the sheep really does suck...
/ Sarah: C'mon Grace, we're supposed to be getting you some clothes. / Sarah: The mall is only open until five on Sundays. At this rate you'll wind up playing those games without any clothes! / Grace: You think Tedd would mind? http://egscomics.com/d/20020305.html |
| Clues are Fun! | [[Grace is holding a shirt]]
/ Sarah: Found any clothes you like?
/ Grace: Yeah, but none of them are stretchy enough. / Sarah: Well you know, that wouldn't be a problem if the clothes you looked at weren't so small...
/ Grace: They're small on me now, but when I'm small they'll fit well. / Sarah: Oh what, you plan to lose some weight? C'mon, you look fine already!
/ Grace: That's not what I meant, but maybe I should. 160 pounds is pretty heavy. / Sarah: Y-You weigh a hundred and s-sixty....?!?!
/ Grace: Last I checked. Ooh, those clothes look good! http://egscomics.com/d/20020306.html |
| Two "Dude Where's My Car?" References So Far... For Shame | Sarah: Teenage girl, average height, almost no visible fat, 160 lbs... it boggles the mind!
/ Grace: We've finished shopping and you're still stuck on that? / Sarah: I'm sorry, it's just that I find it a little--
/ Grace: Weird? That's OK. I'm a weird person. / Sarah: ...Dude, where's my car?
/ Grace: Um, I think we went through the wrong exit... http://egscomics.com/d/20020307.html |
| Variables Correct, But Wrong Solution | Sarah: Oh great, we did take the wrong exit! And with the mall being closed we're going to have to go all the way around!
/ Grace: Why not go through that gap between the buildings? / Sarah: Hmmmm... dark alley.... night... two unarmed teenage girls... screams wouldn't be heard over nearby traffic... / Sarah: Sounds good; let's go!
/ Grace: Um, wait a second... http://egscomics.com/d/20020308.html |
| Sweet! | Grace: Let's turn back...
/ Sarah: This was your idea, you know.
/ Grace: It was a stupid one. / Anonymous Mugger: HAND OVER ALL YOUR MONEY!!! DO IT NOW!!! / Sarah: O-OK, we don't want any trouble! We'll give it to you!
/ Anonymous Mugger: HURRY UP!!!!
/ Sarah: Grace, calm down! You have the money, just give it to him and we'll-- / Grace: < http://egscomics.com/d/20020309.html |
| No title: Sunday March 10, 2002 | [[Grace, with glowing red eyes, transforms into squirrel form]]
/ [[half-animal transformation]] / Anonymous Mugger: I don't know what the hell you are, but I'm going to mess you up good little girl! / < http://egscomics.com/d/20020310.html |
| Hey Man, Rollerblading is Hard. That or I Just Suck at it. | Dr. Germahn: Guten Tag. I am the stereotypical German scientist. My assistant and I are here to answer many questions you readers have had, and to kill time till Sunday so as to allow Dan to-- / [[Dr. Germahn's assistant, Amanda, rolls in rollerblading on one leg in the background]]
/ Amanda: AAAAAAAA!!! Rollerblading is hard!!! / [[Amanda rolls out of the panel]]
/ Amanda: I'll be with you in a second doctor....!!! / Dr. Germahn: Back off. She types 120 words a minute.
/ < http://egscomics.com/d/20020311.html |
| She Wouldn't Last Five Minutes in Tedd's Lab | Dr. Germahn: At least a couple of you have wondered why Grace was still so heavy after becoming smaller due to her transformation. The answer is simply that mass doesn't just disappear.
/ [[Amanda is seen drinking a soda]] / Dr. Germahn: Therefore, her overall weight remained the same but her size got smaller resulting in a greater density, so technically it would be even harder to carry her when she's small.
/ [[Amanda looks forward with a strange look, her clothes loose, being just a bit smaller than Dr. Germahn while she was a bit longer at first]]
/ [[shrinking transformation]] / Dr. Germahn: I personally have succeeded at designing methods to in effect reduce mass without actually getting rid of it, as my assistant just accidentally demonstrated by foolishly drinking a shrink potion of my own design.
/ <<*Sha-rink!*>>
/ [[Amanda shrinks really fast, leaving her clothes falling after her]] / Dr. Germahn: You'd think she'd know not to drink just anything she finds around the lab by now.
/ Amanda (small script, from off-panel): Hey! You told me it was soda! http://egscomics.com/d/20020312.html |
| Remember: REAL Hammers Do REAL Damage | Dr. Germahn: Question: why didn't Sarah use her hammer on the mugger. Answer: the hammers women can use in this comic are meant only for comedic purposes. If the situation is serious in any way, they cannot be used. Besides, they can only be used against men who have said or done something offensive towards women. / < http://egscomics.com/d/20020313.html |
| The German Scientist's Name is Dr. Germahn??? | Amanda: Dr. Germahn, is that really the last question we get to answer?
/ Dr. Germahn: I'm afraid so, Amanda. Let's hope for a good one. / [[Dr. Germahn reads the note]]
/ Dr. Germahn: "Dear German scientist... what is your real name? And also, what is the name of your assistant?" / Dr. Germahn: Dammit. http://egscomics.com/d/20020314.html |
| I Wind Up Spelling Bad Words When Playing Without Even Trying... | [[Elliot and Tedd are sitting at a table playing Scrabble]]
/ Tedd: Could it be that Scrabble is the greatest game ever?
/ Elliot: Damn straight! / Sarah: ALRIGHT TEDD, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO GRACE?!?! / Tedd: Dammit, don't you knock? What if I was naked?
/ Elliot: Why the hell would you be naked? / Tedd: I dunno. Strip Scrabble?
/ Elliot: Ew!
/ Sarah: COULD WE FOCUS PLEASE?! http://egscomics.com/d/20020315.html |
| Guilty Until Proven Innocent | [[Elliot and Tedd are looking at Grace in squirrel form, laying unconscious on the couch]]
/ Elliot: What did you do to her, man?!
/ Tedd: I didn't do anything! / Sarah: Bull! I haven't forgotten what you did to me that one time!
/ Tedd: GOD DAMMIT, I DIDN'T DO THIS TO HER!!! / Mr. Verres: You should believe him, you know. I've met those responsible and my son isn't one of them. http://egscomics.com/d/20020316.html |
| In The Shadows Lurk The Nightmares Made By Man | Mr. Verres: Shade is the end result of a series of experiments conducted illegally by a group of scientists working under false pretenses. They got funding by making claims that they were working on vaccines and other beneficial medical treatments. They actually did do some work in that area so as to seem legitimate, but in actuality they were working on a project of a completely different nature. / Mr. Verres (from off-panel): That project was what we have dubbed the Lycanthrope Project. The general idea was to breed and train people who appeared to be normal humans, but could transform into panic causing monsters at will. It has been theorized that they were meant to act as untraceable assassins on account of their being able to do their dirty work in animal form which would result in confusion for any crime lab attempting to discover the identity of the assassin.
/ [[A silhouette of some sort of beast is shown in the background, with glowing red eyes]] / Mr. Verres (from off-panel): The first attempt at this was the creation of a man who could transform into a guinea pig. What resulted was a slow-witted creature named Guineas that preferred to remain in animal form at all times to avoid the pain of transformation. As you can imagine, one's body being restructured in a matter of seconds isn't a pleasant process.
/ [[A similar silhouette with glowing red eyes is shown, presumably Guineas]] / Mr. Verres (from off-panel): So they attempted to improve on the basic design by using a hedgehog. This hedgehog man, or Hedge, proved to be better equipped in almost every way. Perhaps not due to choice of animal but rather improved technique by the scientists. While the pain experienced during transformation was still a factor, the hedgehog was able to handle this well enough for the scientists to be briefly satisfied.
/ [[Another silhouette, this time resembling a hedgehog, presumably Hedge]] / Mr. Verres (from off-panel): Soon they decided to design a vampire bat, one who could fly and drain the blood out of its target. The result was Vlad, a deadly creature but one who was considered a failure. While he could indeed fly and drain blood, the transformation was so elaborate that Vlad ran the risk of killing himself every time he transformed. He remained in half-bat form at all times as a result.
/ [[Again a silhouette is shown, presumably Vlad]] / Mr. Verres (from off-panel): After Vlad, they decided to address the issue of the pain caused by transformation. To this end they made Shade Tail, the first and last creation to naturally release painkillers when transforming. She was considered a failure; the painkillers had side effects that made her ineffective as a killer. Not only that, but she herself hated violence and could not be trained in any form of combat.
/ [[Grace, a.k.a. Shade Tail, is shown in squirrel form]] / Mr. Verres (from off-panel): Eventually the company fell under suspicion, and it became my duty to infiltrate it. Shade was about 13 at the time, and my job was to keep track of her health. Thanks to me, she got taken out of those horrendous combat training exercises meant to make her into a killing machine like her "brothers".
/ [[2 silhouettes are shown, most resembling the ones presumably Hedge and Vlad, as well as Grace sitting in the background]] / Mr. Verres (from off-panel): It took some time for me to be able to leave safely with the information I had gathered. Right before a team was put together to put an end to the company, something happened that ended it for us. Someone else's pet project apparently broke into the facility, killed all the scientists inside and took their creations with it. No images exist of this creature.
/ [[Nothing shown except 2 glowing red eyes]] / Mr. Verres (from off-panel): However, Shade and I talked earlier while Tedd was still sleeping. As far as she knows, this creature is not a creature at all but a really powerful human: at the very least she has never seen him transform. His name is Damien, and he has cared for her and her "brothers" for some time but is a threat to everyone else on the planet.
/ [[Yet another silhouette with glowing red eyes, this time presumably resembling Damien]] http://egscomics.com/d/20020317.html |
| A Nightmare and a Greeting | [[A horned skull looking creepy stares straight at the screen]]
/ Skull: Time to wake up, Shade Tail... / Grace: EEEEEEEK!!!
/ [[Grace sitting upright looking afraid, holding a blanket, just woken up from a nightmare]] / [[Sarah and Grace looking at eachother, Grace still holding the blanket]] / Sarah: Hello.
/ Grace: Hi. http://egscomics.com/d/20020318.html |
| That's a Whole Lotta Top Secret Documents... | Grace (still in Squirrel form): So... where is everyone else? Did I scare them away?
/ Sarah: What? No! They're in Tedd's Dad's storage closet looking for information that might help them help you! / Grace: Really?! So they'll be back soon?!
/ Sarah: Um, sure... / [[Elliot, Tedd and Mr. Verres stand in a sea of top secret documents]]
/ Elliot: Hell yeah! Area 51 fact sheets!
/ Mr. Verres: Forget you ever saw that!!!
/ Tedd: No way! Those are so going online later! http://egscomics.com/d/20020319.html |
| And Perhaps Someday That Experience Will be Explained | Grace: Sarah... you caught me and brought me back here, didn't you?
/ Sarah: Yeah, you collapsed after you scared that mugger away. / Grace (off panel): But weren't you afraid of me after I just sorta turned into a monster?
/ Sarah (off panel): You're not a monster, Grace. Don't let anyone tell you that you are one, either.
/ [[Grace is shown as she was during the confrontation with the Mugger, looking scary]] / Grace: ...you're the coolest person I've ever met.
/ Sarah: Thanks, but I'm really not that cool. I just have some experience with this sort of thing... http://egscomics.com/d/20020320.html |
| Curses | Grace: Experience? What are you talking about? / Sarah: Well, the whole incident started a few months ago when Tedd and I were assigned to work on a project for school together... / (From off-panel): We're back!
/ Sarah: Oh good! I'll tell you about that later, Grace. http://egscomics.com/d/20020321.html |