You're browsing the archives of El Goonish Shive.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| FYI: They're Doll Clothes From a Toy Store | Ellen: It's time for us to go rent a movie, I take it.
/ Nanase: Yeah, school got out about an hour ago. / Nanase: Justin and I are just driving around at the moment; my real body is riding shotgun.
/ Nanase: We can pick you up soon, but first, I'd like to know what's up with my outfit? / Ellen: Oh, that... hehehe... that's easy to explain, actually... / Caption: Earlier...
/ Grace: Dolly!!! / Grace: Can we dress her up? She needs something nicer than this bodysuit.
/ Ellen: I... guess that would be ok... / [[back to present]]
/ Nanase: I guess grace had a point... So this was a group effort?
/ Ellen: I take no credit for the scarf. http://egscomics.com/d/20030609.html |
| I Refuse to Change the Camera Angles in the Last Two Panels | [[Nanase and Justin in a car.]]
/ Nanase: Hey Justin, I'm "back".
/ Justin: Back from fairy land already, huh? / Nanase: She needs to change, but she should be ready to go by the time we-- / [[Nanase notices in the rear view mirror that she's now sporting a ponytail. / Nanase: .... / Nanase: You just can't resist messing around with my hair, can you?
/ Justin: Nanase, PLEASE! I need to keep my eyes on the road without being distracted by wild accusations!
/ Nanase: You're lucky this ponytail makes me look hot. / Caption: Meanwhile...
/ [[Elliot and Ellen's room. Ellen is off-panel.]]
/ Ellen: I wanna wear something good for tonight. How's this?
/ Elliot: Well, Ellen, um...
/ Ellen: Oh! Would this be better?
/ Elliot: ...sure.
/ Ellen: Dammit, Elliot, you're not even looking! / Elliot: I would look if you were actually WEARING SOMETHING!
/ Ellen: Why do you care? You've showered while looking just like me before!
/ Elliot: It's the principle of the matter! http://egscomics.com/d/20030610.html |
| KHHHAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!! | Ellen: TA-DA! What'ya think, brother? / Elliot: I thing that's the sort of thing you always wear.
/ Ellen: Yeah, but they haven't seen this outfit yet, so... / < http://egscomics.com/d/20030611.html |
| Riddles of the Paycheck | Caption: The video rental store
/ Susan: Hello, Mr. Tensaided. I'm here for my check. / Mr. Tensaided: Is this about the pizza I ordered? / Susan: No, I'm here for my paycheck. / Mr. Tensaided: BAH! Why would I give you a paycheck?!
/ Susan: Because I work here. / [[Ellen's crew enters]]
/ Mr. Tensaided: Oh REALLY?! Then explain why you aren't wearing a store uniform!!!
/ Susan: I don't work today. I'm just here for my check. / Mr. Tensaided: Well done! You have solved three riddles. Here is your check. And you've gained 50 experience. Get 200 more, and you'll be a level 3 clerk. http://egscomics.com/d/20030612.html |
| Terms | Ellen: Susan! Hey!
/ Susan: Oh-- hello, Ellen, Nanase, and boy-toy.
/ Justin: Justin. / Ellen: We're here to rent a movie.
/ Susan: I never would've guessed.
/ Ellen: Ha ha... you free? Cause you can watch it with us at my house if you want. / [[Justin and Nanase look at each other.]]
/ <<*shrug*>> / Susan: You're inviting me to hang out with you guys..?
/ Ellen: Sure! / Susan: ...ok, but only if we can watch the movie at my house.
/ Nanase: You have TERMS?!
/ Nanase: You've gotta be kidding! What's so great about YOUR house, anyway?! / Susan: I have a 64" widescreen tv with surround sound and a DVD/VHS player.
/ Ellen: Sweet!
/ Justin: The boy-toy humbly accepts your terms. http://egscomics.com/d/20030613.html |
| When in Doubt, Swat Ponytail | Mr. Tensaided: And so, Susan joined the party! The task of selecting a movie, however, had yet to reach a conclusion! Thus, Justin and Susan made their way towards the action movies, as Ellen followed Nanase to the new releases... / Ellen: How about this one? It's got Jason D. Poit! / Ellen: Mmm... Jason D. Poit...
/ Nanase: Whatever. / Ellen: Are you upset about something?
/ Nanase: No, it's just... I... Well, it's not your fault... / Ellen: ...What's not my fault?
/ Nanase: ...nothing... don't worry about it. / [[Ellen thinks it over...]] / [[..and decides to swat Nanase's ponytail.]]
/ <<*swat*>>
/ Ellen: Meow!!! http://egscomics.com/d/20030618.html |
| Feline Therapy Tactics | [[Ellen is swatting at Nanase's ponytail]]
/ Ellen: Meow!
/ <<*swat*>>
/ Nanase: Ellen-- / Ellen: Meow!
/ <<*swat*>>
/ Nanase: Ellen-- / Nanase: ELLEN~!! / Ellen: Mereow? / Nanase: *snicker* / Ellen: Made you smile! Now, promise me that you'll have fun tonight?
/ Nanase: Ok, but you're making it worse.
/ Ellen: Za? http://egscomics.com/d/20030619.html |
| My Apologies to Non-Trek Fans | Justin: See? This is why I like this rental place. The even numbered star trek movies are kept separate from the odd numbered star trek movies. That's just genius. / Susan: I know. I work here, and it was my idea.
/ Justin: It was?
/ Susan: Yup. / Justin: You must like star trek movies then. It's too bad that Ellen is opposed to renting one.
/ Susan: She should be: it would be stupid for us to rent one. / Justin: Huh? Wait, are you saying you don't like star trek movies.
/ Susan: No, I'm saying I own them all already. / Justin: All of them?!
/ Susan: That's what I said.
/ Justin: Awesome! / Justin: Hey, why isn't there a spot for Star Trek V?
/ Susan: I put that in the Aisle of Shame next to Highlander II. http://egscomics.com/d/20030620.html |
| Rationalization | Nanase: (thinking) What was I so upset about? / Nanase: (thinking) I mean, it's not my fault that Ellen is the embodiment of female variant #5, and it isn't her fault either! / Nanase: (thinking) I don't need to be all upset just because I feel some attraction! It's totally artificial, and has nothing to do with my actual preferences, and I don't have to act on it! It's ok for me to feel this way! / Nanase: (thinking) I'm not to blame, and neither is she. Now Tedd, on the other hand... / Caption: Tedd's house (well before Elliot and Sarah got there)
/ [[Tedd is a cat-boy.]]
/ Tedd: Meow-choo!!! / [[And Grace is a fox.]]
/ Tedd: *sniff* Why do I have the feeling that sneeze foretells doom?
/ Grace: Why would a sneeze do that? http://egscomics.com/d/20030621.html |
| Movie Choices | Nanase: I've got a couple of movies that I think would be good.
/ Ellen: Cool, so do I. What movies do ya got there? / Nanase: My first selection is a "Far east meets wild west" action comedy.
/ Ellen: I reckon that could be good. / Nanase: I could also go for some matrix action.
/ Ellen: That could be good, though my brother does own that movie.
/ Nanase: Oh. Hm... what movies are you interested in? / Ellen: My first movie of choice is a college party comedy!
/ Nanase: I can already hear Susan saying "No". / Ellen: Well, I've also got my eyes on this one jungle movie.
/ Nanase: A "Jungle movie"? / Ellen: Yeah, check out the back of the box; it sounds great.
/ Nanase: "Rated 'R' for language, violence, and frequent and gratuitous loincloth removal." http://egscomics.com/d/20030622.html |
| What Dwells in Lady Susan's Mind? | Justin: Well, we don't have anything to suggest as far as renting is concerned.
/ Susan: It turns out that I own everything either of us would be interested in.
/ Ellen: So I may yet face the wrath of Kahn?
/ Nanase: Ellen and I can't decide on one. / Susan: Why don't you just rent all of them? / Nanase: Because eight or more hours of movies is a bit much?
/ Ellen: Speaking of which, how late can we be over? / Susan: Hell, you guys can spend the night at my house if you want: there are enough guest rooms for all of you. / Ellen: Hey, alright! An all girl slumber party! Well, assuming Justin lets me zap him, of course.
/ Justin: Point that hand elsewhere, missy!
/ Susan: Hmmm... http://egscomics.com/d/20030623.html |
| Following Susan's Car | [[Ellen is imagining Justin as a girl. She's wearing a tube top and skirt.]]
/ [[tg transformation]] [[male-to-female transformation]] [[V5 transformation]]
/ Justin (imaginary): Aren't you tired of dressing me up in various girly outfits yet?
/ Ellen (imaginary): I'm sorry, Justin, but no.
/ Ellen (imaginary): Hey, Nanase! Bring in the lingerie, will ya?
/ Ellen: Heheheh... / Justin: You're fantasizing about turning me into a woman, aren't you?
/ Ellen: No I wasn't! I was... um...
/ Ellen: ...I was picturing grace as a platypus!! / Nanase: Susan's leading us into the Snoot Creek subdivision? All of the houses in this area are _huge_! / [[Ellen is fantasizing again, this time about turning the entire crew V5.]]
/ Nanase: I guess I shouldn't be surprised, given the size of that tv she mentioned, and three guest rooms... / Ellen: Wait-- oh dear God, I'm thinking like a Tedd!!! http://egscomics.com/d/20030624.html |
| The House of Pompoms | Caption: Susan's house
/ Justin: I didn't even know they made three-story houses in Moperville... / Ellen: Man, if there's a pool behind that house, I say we skinny dip!
/ Nanase: I don't think so.
/ Susan: We've been out here for five minutes now; the house is a lot more interesting from the inside, ya know. http://egscomics.com/d/20030625.html |
| Everyone Has Theories... | [[Inside. Justin is looking at a painting of an angel.]]
/ Susan: Just a sec-- I need to tell my mom that I'm home with people. / Susan: (through a bullhorn) HEY MA! I'M HOME AND I'VE GOT PEOPLE OVER, AND THEY MIGHT SPEND THE NIGHT!!! / [[Justing rubs his ear.]]
/ <<*squeek*>>
/ Justin: You don't have an intercom in a house this large?
/ Susan: We do, but for some reason we can only get Mexican radio through it.
/ <<*shrug*>> / Susan: I wonder if the lovebirds found the tv room ok. / Justin: What, you think Ellen and Nanase are into each other?
/ Susan: Definitely. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if we walked in on them kissing or something. / Caption: Meanwhile...
/ [[Ellen is lying on the tv.]]
/ Nanase: Oh, this can't be good for the tv...
/ Ellen: Z http://egscomics.com/d/20030626.html |
| Proof That One Can Lie, And Yet Still be Telling the Truth. | Mrs. Pompoms: You've brought boys over, Susan? / Susan: No mother, just this one. The other two are girls; they're checking out our tv.
/ Justin: Hi.
/ Mrs. Pompoms: I'm not comfortable with him spending the night here, Susan. / Susan: Don't worry, mother. He's... gay. He's gay, so he won't try anything with me. / Mrs. Pompoms: Ugh... men who like men... pure insanity. / Mrs. Pompoms: Fine. He can stay. Maybe his homosexuality will rub off on you, and you'll find yourself a decent woman. / Susan: Hehe... she bought it... / Justin: So... how'd you know that I'm gay? http://egscomics.com/d/20030627.html |
| I've Been in Susan's Boat | Justin: Susan? Is something wrong? / Susan (thinking): ...figures... / Susan: You'd best call your parents and tell them where you are, especially if you're gonna spend the night here. / Justin: Oh, right... parents tend to frown upon not knowing where their kids are sleeping at night...
/ Susan: We should remind Ellen and Nanase to call their parents as well. / Justin: Yeah, ok... but you haven't answered my question: how'd you know that I 'm gay?
/ Susan: I didn't. / Justin: ...oh. http://egscomics.com/d/20030630.html |
| May Susan be Thwacked For Her Timing | Ellen: Man, this sofa is so comfortable! And it's huge! I wonder how many people could sit on this thing all at once?
/ Nanase: Just be sure not to fall asleep on it, ok? / Ellen: Nanase, as I've said, I wasn't actually sleeping on the tv. I was just joking around!
/ Nanase: I'd be quicker to laugh if I wasn't worried about the amount of cat-naps that you take. / [[Ellen pictures herself as a curled-up catgirl, purring.]]
/ Ellen (thinking): Cat-naps, eh?
/ Ellen: What's there to be worried about?
/ Nanase: Both times I visited you using the fairy doll spell, you were asleep. You sleep instead of going to martial arts classes, and you sleep in the middle of the afternoon. I'm not supposed to be concerned?
/ Ellen: You shouldn't worry! Look, the reason I sleep so much is-- / Susan: Hey, Nasase? You should go call your parents, and tell them about how you might spend the night here. / Susan: While you do that, I'd appreciate it if Ellen would join me in my room... http://egscomics.com/d/20030701.html |
| Hmm... But Doesn't She... Hehehehe | Ellen: Wow... you room is huge! ...but I guess everything in this house is.
/ [[Susan is taking her shirt off.]]
/ Susan: It is a bit excessive, isn't it? / Ellen: Uh...
/ [[Susan discards the shirt.]] / Ellen: Mmmaybe you should tell me why we're in your bedroom now... / Susan: I want you to use your power to transform me.
/ Ellen: Really?! / Susan: Yes, I know it's an odd request, and I understand that you may have some objections, but-- / < http://egscomics.com/d/20030702.html |
| Venus Susan | [[V5 Susan. She's lost a few inches and gained a few cup sizes. The most striking thing is her hair. It doubled in length, almost reaching the floor. Also, the top half is blond, while the rest is still dark blue.]]
/ [[V5 transformation]] [[Venus transformation]]
/ Susan: ...wow. / Ellen: Hehe... let me guess: you dye your hair, don't you?
/ Susan: Yes, it has grown long. / Ellen: Huh? Well, your hair is longer, but I was walking about color. And you're not listening to me at all, are you? Hello? Earth to blonde girl??? / [[Susan is staring into a full-length mirror.]]
/ Susan: I'm beautiful... / Ellen: So, I was thinking I might dance naked in your backyard while burning your finest art and furniture.
/ Susan: Have fun. http://egscomics.com/d/20030703.html |
| Justin Phone Home & Stupor Snapping | [[Justin is on the phone.]]
/ Justin: Hello, dad. ...I might be sleeping over at a friend's house tonight. / Justin: ...uh, you've never met her, but her name is Susan. And there's a girl named Ellen here as well, along with Nanase. / Justin: ...yes, I am spending the night with three girls. ...no, I don't plan on sleeping with any of them. / Justin: ...you know, most parents would be happy about their sons answering "no" to that last question... / [[Susan's room. She's still mesmerized. Ellen is looking annoyed.]] / Ellen: Women are only good for serving men, be it through cooking, cleaning, or physical pleasure!!!
/ Susan: *twitch* / Susan: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!?! / Ellen: I had to snap you out of that stupor _somehow_.
/ Susan: I wasn't that out of it... http://egscomics.com/d/20030704.html |
| Hair Play | Ellen: You hair looks really cool like this... and it's so long! I could use your hair as a blanket! / Ellen: So... why did you want me to transform you?
/ Susan: I wanted to see how I would look, and I like being attracted to women. / Susan: That, and my mother wishes that I could be spared the pain of having to deal with men to the point where she wishes that I was a lesbian, and I feel I own it to her to try it out after lying to her on a man's behalf. / Ellen: You lied to your mom for a guy?
/ Susan: Yeah, I told her that Justin was gay. / [[Silent panel.]] / Ellen: Uhhh...
/ Susan: Trust me, it was a lie at the time. http://egscomics.com/d/20030707.html |
| Fatal Flaw in Lesbian Plot | Ellen: You know, I don't think I can be a part of your plot to be a lesbian.
/ Susan: Why not? You have a problem with my not liking men? / Ellen: Well, there is that... I mean, how many guys do you really know all that well?
/ Susan: ...if you include Justin, three. / Ellen: And how many of those buys were as your prejudices would expect?
/ Susan: ...none of them... Even Tedd has redeeming qualities... / Ellen: Not all guys are jerks, and I'd like to think that most people of either sex aren't. I'm not opposed to you experimenting, but I don't want to support your prejudice. / Ellen: However, the true reason I can't help you be a lesbian is that the venus form makes a person bisexual, and it also enhances the original preference.
/ Susan: Meaning...? / Ellen: Meaning, you should find men to be more attractive than ever while in this form.
/ Susan: Ack! http://egscomics.com/d/20030708.html |
| Just Call Her Tiffany | Ellen: Are you sure you're ready to get zapped back to normal?
/ Susan: Oh, just do it before I decide to ignore your advice. / < http://egscomics.com/d/20030709.html |
| Horrible Web of Lies | [[In the kitchen. Nanase is sitting on the counter.]]
/ Susan: Hey! Get your ugly butt off the kitchen counter! / Nanase: Well, we called home.
/ Ellen: are you able to spend the night?
/ Nanase: Yeah, but I had to lie a little.
/ Susan (off-screen, thinking): @&#%! / Nanase: As far as my mother is concerned, Ellen, you're a heterosexual whom attends catholic school.
/ Ellen: A naughty catholic school girl?
/ Nanase: No.
/ [[Clothing Transformation]] / Nanase: I had to say that Justin was a girl, of course...
/ Justin: Of course.
/ Nanase: ...and I claimed to still be wearing the clothes I left home wearing.
/ [[Susan is scrubbing the kitchen counter.]]
/ [[TG transformation]] [[male-to-female transformation]] / Nanase: Now that I've shared my horrible web of lies, perhaps Susan can explain why she's suddenly blonde?
/ Susan: What's to explain? My hair changed color. It happens! / Nanase: Hair doesn't just spontaneously change color!
/ Susan: I stand by my ridiculous claim.
/ [[Ellen is surreptitiously whistling.]] http://egscomics.com/d/20030710.html |
| *Sniff* Smells Like Fish | Susan: Hello, I'd like to have a pizza delivered? ...555-5239. Yes, that is the correct address.
/ Caption: ((Look! Snazzy hands-free phone gear!)) / [[Susan walks by Justin.]]
/ Susan: Ok, first I'll need a small pizza with extra cheese and sausage. / [[Susan walks by Ellen.]]
/ Susan: ...ok, and I'll also need some chicken fingers and garlic bread. / [[Susan walks by Nanase.]]
/ Susan: ...I'll also require a large pizza with quadruple cheese and as many anchovies as you can manage. ...yeah, that's everything... / [[Nanase snatches the phone.]]
/ Nanase: Wait! She meant to order a small cheese pizza, not a large with dead fish!! Hello? Hello?! / Phone: At the tone, the time will be whatever your watch says.
/ Susan: Got ya. http://egscomics.com/d/20030711.html |
| Nanase Gone WILD! | Nanase: Can you order food for real now?
/ Susan: You're mad? C'mon, that was funny! / Nanase: I'm not angry, I'm just tired, and I'm hungry, and--and you're blonde and you won't explain how or why! / [[Nanase turns to Ellen.]]
/ Nanase: And I still don't know why you sleep so much!!
/ Ellen: Well, the reason I sleep so much is-- / [[Nanase turns on Justin.]]
/ Nanase: And YOU--!!! / [[Nanase thinks it over.]] / Nanase: Carry on.
/ Justin: You really need to be fed. http://egscomics.com/d/20030714.html |
| No Comment | Susan: Well, food is ordered. I have no idea when it'll get here, though, seeing as it's a Friday night. / Susan: What are you looking at? Is something wrong with the sofa?
/ Justin: Not really.. I've just never seen a sofa that big before. / Susan: It is fairly ridiculous... it's probably be better if the back of it wasn't so tall. / [[Susan pulls out a remote.]]
/ <<*Click*>>
/ < http://egscomics.com/d/20030715.html |
| One Mystery Solved... | Ellen (narrating): I'm not in school yet, so I haven't had any real incentive to go to bed at a reasonable hour.
/ [[Ellen on the sofa at her home, obviously at night.]]
/ TV: Coming up next, a 3-hour report on insomnia!
/ Ellen (thinking): Score. / Ellen (narrating): But I still wind up getting up a the same time as Elliot just so that we can race for exercise before he leaves.
/ [[Ellen and Elliot running.]]
/ Ellen: I'm gonna get back home before you!
/ Elliot: Ha! It would take something pretty big for that to happen!
/ [[He's about to run into a tree.]] / Ellen (narrating): I've also been trying to train grace in self-defense, which is tiring...
/ [[Ellen stands in gym clothes with Grace. Grace has boxing gloves and is standing in front of a punching bag. The punching bag has a piece of paper on it with a angry face and "meanie" written on it.]]
/ Grace: I don't think I'm ready to hit something that has a face yet... / Ellen (narrating): And after that we pl--er, hang out, which is fun, but also tiring.
/ [[Grace, Ellen, and the squirrel plushy having a tea party.]]
/ Ellen: Later on, if anybody asks, we spent the day playing videos games, ok?
/ Grace: *sip* / Ellen: ...so basically, I stay up late, get up early, keep active, and nap to make up for it all.
/ Nanase: Well, those aren't the best sleeping habits, but at least you're not depressed or something... / [[Ellen and Nanase are sitting on the kitchen counter again.]]
/ Susan: Hey, are you guys ready to watch-- OH, COME ON!!! http://egscomics.com/d/20030716.html |
| A Form of Intimacy? | Justin: I'm glad the food got here a lot faster than we anticipated.
/ Susan: And it got eaten just as quickly... / Nanase: Hey! I skipped lunch to work on homework today, so I was hungry! / [[Ellen takes Nanase's napkin out of her cleavage.]]
/ Nanase: HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! / Ellen: Relax... I'm just wiping some pizza sauce off your lip. / [[There is a bit of a blush on Nanase's face.]]
/ Ellen: Sorry... I guess I inherited some habits from Elliot... / Justin (whispers to Susan): Nanase used to like it when Elliot did stuff like that.
/ Susan (whispers): Disturbing. http://egscomics.com/d/20030717.html |
| Unwanted Sesire | TV: Hee-yah! We got you now, China-man!
/ TV: *fwish fwish whoosh*
/ TV: I do not think so!
/ TV: *snatch* *swoosh* *swoosh*
/ TV: NEIGH!
/ TV: *THWACK!!!* / Susan: Would _you_ be able to do that?
/ Justin: I doubt it-- I'm not trained in the art of using horses as projectile weaponry. / TV: Aw, man! Why'd you have to go and use _my_ horse?
/ TV: Because _my_ horse is drunk, and _you_ have a weird nose. / [[Nanase is looking sideways at Ellen.]] / [[Ellen laughing.]] / [[A shot of Nanase.]]
/ Caption: ...I've never felt this way before... http://egscomics.com/d/20030718.html |