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Conference Room 9 in Outer Space [[Cat and Girl are in an office wearing space helmets.]] / Girl: Hand me the file for the Jupiter account. / [[Cat takes a manila folder out of his desk.]] / Girl: The invoice isn't signed. / Girl: This was supposed to go out last week! / [[Cat works at his computer.]] / <> / Cat:...
The Planning Stages [[Cat is writing in a book.]] / [[Girl taps him on the shoulder.]] / Cat: Eep! / Girl: What's that? / [[Cat holds the book up for her.]] / Girl: You have an agenda? / Cat: I write down stuff I have to do. / [[Girl looks through Cat's agenda.]] / Cat: And then when I do it I cross it off. / Girl: I...
That's my Fun Day Cat: C'mon C'mon / Cat: The Frosting Factory is still open. / Girl: No. / Cat: International House of Wax Pancakes? / Girl: No. / Cat: Skeeball at Funderdome? / Girl: I'm tired. / [[Girl leaves Cat alone.]] / Cat: What am I supposed to do? / Girl: Just make pop culture references until something sticks. / Cat:...
Where is the Little Andres Serranos Room? [[Cat sits at a bar drinking paint.]] / Man in striped shirt: Jasper Johns, please. / [[The man is served a can of Ballantine Ale.]] / Lady with winged hair: Gimmee a Lichtenstein? / [[The bartender serves her a glass of something colored with benday dots.]] / [[The bartender holds a glass with a...
Yesterday's Papers [[Cat is reading a newspaper.]] / Cat: Kansas! / Cat: Did you see this? / Cat: They're not gonna teach devolution in their schools! / Girl: But devolution is a scientifically proven fact! / [[Cat puts on a Devo hat and hands Girl a wooden sword.]] / [[Cat and Girl both wear Devo hats and swing swords...
 
Lunch Time [[Girl is washing dishes in the sink.]] / Cat: Hungry? / Girl: A little. / Cat: Good! I'll order a pizza. / [[Cat cuts out a piece of paper.]] / [[Cat is sitting behind a desk. He writes on the paper.]] / [[He holds it up.]] / [[He licks an envelope.]] / [[He puts a stamp on the envelope.]] / Girl:...
Cat versus Hobos [[Girl is drinking a milkshake.. Cat is angry.]] / Cat: Why is everyone making hobo jokes? Hobos aren't funny. / Cat: Hobos will steal your shoes for a dollar - like in "Pretty Woman." / Cat: And they'll use that dollar to buy forty ounces of "Perfect Gent." / Cat: Then they'll crap in your shoes and...
Cat and Girl versus Tooth Decay [[Cat and Girl are brushing their teeth. We see their reflection in the bathroom mirror.]] / Girl: We can't ever really know how other people see us. / Girl: <> / Girl: That's why we try to see ourselves in them. / Girl: We match the questions our presence inspires with the responses we think...
Memory Lanes [[Girl is in the closet going through boxes. Behind her are a bowling ball and boxes marked "winter clothes" and "ornaments."]] / Girl: I thought my badminton racquet was in one of these. / [[Girl puts the box back up.]] / [[Girl opens another box.]] / Girl: What's this? / Cat: Oh! My awards! / Cat:...
Scene Politics [[The Beatnik Vampire has a mustache and carries a guitar case. Girl walks with him.]] / Girl: Yeah, we just had practice. Went over some songs. / Girl: How's your band... uh - you know - / Vampire: "Pandemonium." it's a pun. / Girl: Pandamonium? Like pandas? / Vampire: Pandemonium. Like pans. / Girl:...
 
Chinese Democracy [[Cat and Girl sit at a diner.]] / Girl: Yawn / [[Their booth is empty - they are gone.]] / [[Cat and Girl walk to mega box store "Price B Rite."]] / [[They play ping pong in the sporting goods aisle.]] / [[Girl sits at a table in the Garden section. Cat pushes a lawnmower across the floor.]] / [[Cat...
Creation Nation [[Storm clouds in a dark sky.]] / [[Light beams through them.]] / In the beginning / cars looked cooler / [[An old muscle car.]] / teenage delinquents dressed better / soul crushing behemoth marts were smaller and dimly lit / [[A wood shack with a sign that reads "Price B Rite."]] / everyone drank...
Cat and Girl present: National Anthems [[Cat holding a little Canadian flag]] / Cat: O Canada! Our home and native land! / [[Girl holding a little Australian flag]] / Girl: Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong, under the shade of a coolabah tree / [[Cat wearing beret, stripy t-shirt etc. and holding a French flag]] / Cat: There's a place...
Like Comparing [[Cat holds an apple in one hand and an orange in the other.]] / Cat: Apple Orange / [[Cat throws them.]] / Cat: Race to the wall! / [[They land.]] / <> / <> / Cat: Apple wins! / [[Cat digs into a grocery bag.]] / Cat: Grapefruit Egg / [[Girl stares at Cat from across the kitchen.]] / Cat:...
Like Comparing II [[Cat and Girl stand in the kitchen.]] / Cat: You're not even the Supreme Court! / [[Cat thinks.]] / [[The Supremes stand behind a law bench.]] / Supremes: Stop in the name of the U.S. Constitution / Supremes: Before you break its laws / Cat: Think it o-o-ver / Supremes: Baby love - my baby love / [[Cat...
 
Nightmare Street [[Cat sits at a lemonade stand.]] / [[He pours some lemonade for a customer.]] / [[He squeezes more lemon into the pitcher.]] / [[Customers haggle.]] / [[Cat slices into another lemon, now with a band-aid on his hand.]] / [[Cat is surrounded by angry customers.]] / [[They press in all around him.]] / [[Cat...
Cat Cleans House [[Girl holds a toy elephant.]] / Girl: Stripey got all dirty. / Cat: Hmmm. / [[Cat looks in the kitchen cabinets.]] / Cat: Liquid plumber? / Girl: That won't help. / Cat: Liquid dentist? / Cat: Liquid administrative assistant? / [[Cat drinks some liquid administrative assistant.]] / <> / Girl:...
Music Lessons [[Girl listens to a record while looking at the record sleeve.]] / Cat: Oh man - this is a classic record. / [[Cat plays air guitar.]] / Cat: deedle-y deedle-y dooo / Cat: I got to see them play live - it was in the Eighties, when Dawn was drumming. / Cat: but before Mallory and Jessi joined. / [[The...
Cooking the Books [[Girl has baking supplies out on a counter and is looking through a book. Cat enters the kitchen.]] / Cat: Oh! / [[Cat wrinkles his nose.]] / Cat: Oh. / Cat: It smells like gray in here. / Girl: I'm baking a corporation. / Cat: Why? / Girl: Career day. / Girl: I've greased the pans and preheated the...
Cat Sells Out Cat: Every yin has a yang. / Cat: Without night there would be no day. / Cat: For every ironic tee shirt sold there must be a not-ironic tee shirt sold. / Cat: I am going to make a million dollars! / Girl: That is probably not true. / [[Shirt: A picture of a jumping fish. "When my girlfriend left...
 
Marketplace Cat: We could just go to King Kullen. / Girl: But there's a sale on orange juice at / Girl: the Supermarket at the end of the world. / [[Cat and Girl walk through a supermarket.]] / Muzak: Tall and tan and dark and lovely / Muzak: the girl from Ipanema goes walking / Muzak: when she passes each one...
The Warhol Factory Outlet Store [[The Beatnik Vampire sits in a waiting room reading "People."]] / [[He checks his watch.]] / Vampire: They're totally late. / Girl: Huh? / Vampire: My fifteen minutes of fame. / Girl: Oh, it doesn't work that way anymore. / Girl: Instead of being famous for fifteen minutes, everyone gets to be famous...
In Search of Ephemera [[Girl reads from a book.]] / Girl: Posters were ephemeral, their lifespan dictated by their economical form and dated content. / Girl: But as their practical use as tools for communication declined collectors, museums and galleries took them in / [[Cat blows a bubble of chewing gum.]] / Girl: compromising...
Sick Day Cat: <> / [[Cat blows his nose.]] / <> / Cat: I could use a trip - / Cat: To the halls of medicine! / [[Cat and Girl are in a dark hallway. Behind them, men in suits stand before a curtain in a line.]] / Girl: I think we're in the Hall of Presidents. / Cat: We must have made a wrong...
Maintaining your Cool [[The Beatnik Vampire sits up in bed.]] / Vampire: Yawn. / [[He eats his breakfast of "Blood Klotz" cereal.]] / Vampire: Another morning in Bohemia. / [[He walks down the street, coffee in hand, past some Hipster Scouts.]] / Ukrainian Blouse Lady: Nice goatee! / Vampire: Well thank you. / Tote Bag Girl:...
 
Art or Not [[Cat and Girl walk past a Nativity scene.]] / Girl: Art. / [[Cat and Girl walk past a billboard advertising burgers.]] / Cat: Art. / [[Cat and Girl walk past a plaster chef figure holding a sign that says "Italian Ices."]] / Girl: Not. / [[Cat and Girl walk past an American flag.]] / Cat and Girl: Art! / [[They...
Cat versus the Ether [[Paper, scotch tape and scissors.]] / [[Grrrl and Girl are working. Cat looks in on them.]] / Cat: Are you guys making a ZINE? / Grrrl: It's a Livejournal. / Cat: Pffft. / Cat: I liked things better before. / Cat: Back when thoughts had substance. / Cat: When books were on PAPER. / Cat: When...
Boy Walks On Boy: "Popularity is just targeted consumption." / [[Boy walks to a bus stop.]] / Boy: Cynicism dressed up as realism presented as intellect. / Boy: Most likely. / Boy: Holier than thou pop culture oracles / [[Boy gets on the bus.]] / Boy: eager to read Doomsday in bird intestines / Boy: keeping the...
Tom Tom Club [[Girl stands, angry, her arms crossed.]] / [[Cat watches her from the doorway.]] / [[He approaches her. She looks up at him.]] / Cat: I'm sorry. / Cat: I got you a present! / Cat: It's that special toothpaste you like! / Cat: Tom's of something. / Cat: Boy was it hard to find. / Cat: I didn't...
True-Life Adventures Play. / [[Cat sits, considering a Parcheesi board.]] / When an animal first begins to understand its world. / [[Cat plays with Mr. Potato Head.]] / Under the watchful eye of its elders, the animal is free to explore. / [[Cat watches television.]] / [[Cat looks through a bookcase.]] / Why, what's this? / [[Cat...
 

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