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Versus an International Army Comprised Solely of Bees 2 China Bee: She's not funny. / France Bee: Her reaction makes them funny. / France Bee: She is the structure that makes them possible. / China Bee: But it's the unnecessary that is art! / France Bee: She is the sun to their planets! / USA Bee: But we cannot live on the sun! / China Bee: Betty White! / USA...
Girl versus Empty Paint Cans [[As Girl walks along]] / [[she sees more and more empty paint cans.]] / [[Cat is standing at an easel.]] / Girl: Cat? / Cat: Did you know you can paint with this stuff? / Girl: Well, yeah. / Cat: It's fantastic! / Girl: It's called paint. / Cat: Look! / [[Cat has painted the Mona Lisa with cat ears and...
The Boy Without a Country [[Boy sees a sign in a window that says "Love it or Leave it." An American flag is above it.]] / [[Boy walks away.]] / Boy: American doesn't want me. / Boy: I've got no other identity. / [[Boy stands.]] / Boy: I've got no overriding ethnicity. / Boy: I'm not religious. / Boy: I'm not Cajun or...
Cliques to Watch Out For [[Girl wears a safety vest and carries a stop sign.]] / Girl: They may try to assimilate you! / Jocks. / Nerds. / Hippies. / Freaks. / Metalheads. / Rich kids. / Bankers. / Nerds. / Yuppies. / Hipsters. / The working class. / Rich kids. / [[Cat wiggles from side to side.]] / Cat: This dance...
Hope for the Hopeless [[Grrrl and Bad Decision Dinosaur sit in a diner. Bad Decision Dinosaur is talking about a prehistoric era, when dinosaurs roamed the earth playing tennis.]] / [[But there was trouble in paradise! One dinosaur got hit in the eye with a tennis ball.]] / [[Bad Decision Dinosaur starts to ramble.]] / Grrrl:...
 
The City Mouse & the Country Mouse & [[Cat and Country Cat argue over a light switch.]] / Cat: On! / Country Cat: Off! / [[Cat and Country Cat are in a car looking at a map.]] / Cat: Left! / Country Cat: Right! / [[Cat and Country Cat are eating out of bowls.]] / Cat: Hot! / Country Cat: Girl! / [[Cat and Country Cat sit on the subway.]] / Cat:...
Girl versus Fashion 2 [[Girl stands at a bus stop. A guy walks by wearing a black "Heavy Metal" shirt.]] / [[Girl stands at a bus stop. A girl walks by wearing a Kenny Loggins shirt.]] / [[Girl stands at a bus stop. Leaves fall. A guy walks by wearing an "Emo" hoodie.]] / [[Girl stands at a bus stop. Snow falls. A girl...
The Spirit of Ironic Tee Shirts [[Girl sleeps restlessly in her bed. A shadow falls across her.]] / [[In her dreams, Girl is being led by the arm.]] / Girl: Where are you taking me? / Shadow: To an ironic tee shirt retailer... / [[The Ghost of Ironic Tee Shirt Present. It is a giant lizard with bags under its eyes.]] / Present: ...in...
The Spirit of Ironic Tee Shirts 2 [[The Ghost of Ironic Tee Shirts Present, who looks like a big lizard with bags under its eyes, is talking. A shirt that says "Punk" flies by on angel wings.]] / Present: The volatile nature of irony allows it to be used against the shirt's owner - / [[A "Not Everything is Flat in Kansas" shirt floats...
Fraternal Organization [[Girl sits at a kitchen table drinking coffee and reading a book.]] / Girl: Since identical twins are different - / [[Girl zips up her jacket.]] / Girl: - since they share a nature - they are made different at birth, when their experiences begin to diverge. / [[Girl walks outside in a jacket and hat....
 
Mysteries of the Unknown Girl: ...UFOs, Atlantis, the Loch Ness Monster. / Girl: I mean, if Atlantis is real then where is it? / Grrrl: Berlin. / Girl: Huh? / Grrrl: Berlin. / Grrrl: Williamsburg before that. / Grrrl: The lower east side, the left bank, Zurich - it moves around. / Girl: Berlin isn't the domain of Poseidon! / Grrrl:...
In Search of Atlantis [[Grrrl walks outside.]] / [[She passes a store called Dreamworld.]] / [[She walks down to Pie in the Sky.]] / [[Grrrl steps through a hole in the fence behind the dumpster.]] / [[She sees Arcadia]] / [[And walks through it, to Paradise Garage.]] / [[She walks past a record store.]] / [[She walks...
Cat and Girl's Fifth Anniversary Clip Show Spectacular [[Cat and Girl stand in front of a curtain.]] / Girl: How do you feel? / Cat: Old. / Girl: I'm excited! / Cat: Can I retire now? / Girl: What's this in cat years? / Cat: Incontinence and death. / [[The spotlight comes on.]] / Girl: Wow, five years. / Girl: So much has changed! / Girl: And we have had...
Nostalgia Science [[A television screen.]] / Channel 4 Breaking News / Sciencetician: The half life of nostalgia is rapidly decreasing! / [[Cat and Girl are watching television.]] / Girl: All culture is moving faster. / Cat: Backwards or forwards? / Girl: Same thing. / Girl: What's important is that our attention span...
This Old White House [[Cat reads a book called "Construction and Gardening Tips of the Presidents."]] / [[Cat holds a hammer. He stares at a toy duck with a bent nail in its head.]] / Cat: "A house divided against itself cannot stand." / Cat: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots...
 
Name Calling Cat: Girls don't play the drums. / Cat: Girls don't change lightbulbs. / Cat: Girls don't beat me at backgammon. / Cat: Girls don't make me clean up after myself. / Cat: Girls don't give me funny looks. / Girl: Cats don't eat paint. / Cat: Kitty Dukakis did!
Study Buddies Grrrl: James K. Polk? / Girl: Cholera. / Grrrl: Franklin Pierce? / Girl: Abdominal dropsy. / Grrrl: Thomas Jefferson? / Girl: Uh - Pneumatic gout? / Grrrl: Chronic diarrhea. / Girl: Chronic diarrhea! I'm going to fail. / Grrrl: Why do we have to learn this stuff? / Girl: It's important to know how the...
Boy Wonders [[Girl holds a book called "Dick Van Dyke."]] / Boy: They should have called it "Young Turks and Ottomans." / Girl: Ha! / [[In real life.]] / Boy: Ummm. / [[In a dream, Boy sits on a porch playing the banjo. Girl claps.]] / Boy: Oh Susanna oh don't you cry for me well I come from Alabama / [[In real life.]] / Girl:...
Famous Artists of Cartoonland [[A teacher stands in front of the blackboard holding chalk. The blackboard says "What I want to be when I grow up."]] / [[Boy raises his hand.]] / Boy: A doctor. To help people. / [[Grrrl raises her hand.]] / Grrrl: A gender politician. To help people. / Girl: An artist. / Girl: The life of the mind. / [[Girl...
The City Mouse and the Country Mouse [[A little train pulls into a little station. A mouse calls from the train to a mouse on the platform.]] / Country Mouse: Cousin Milton! / City Mouse: Cousin Moriarity! / [[They walk past Mouse Grand Central Station.]] / City Mouse: How was your trip? / Country Mouse: I sure have been looking forward to...
 
Copycat [[Cat walks through the house.]] / [[He turns to see his reflection in a mirror.]] / Cat: What? / Cat: What are you lookin at, horseface? / Cat: Yeah? Nice mug, ugly. / Cat: What? / Cat: You tarty bastard. / [[He rolls up his sleeves.]] / Cat: Put your dukes up! / [[The Country Cat walks in on...
Cousin Once Removed [[Girl sits at the kitchen table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.]] / [[Cat pokes his head in.]] / [[Cat exhales.]] / [[He gulps down a can of paint.]] / Girl: Still hiding from your cousin? / Cat: A cat gets tired of being a gum commercial. / Girl: Glancing into the mirror of the million...
This Postmodern World [[Cat and Girl walk though a cityscape filled with billboards.]] / [[They walk past Starbucks.]] / [[They walk past Hot Topic.]] / Girl: Nothing is real anymore. / [[They walk past CBGBs.]] / Girl: Just a replica of a replica. / [[They walk past a "Diner."]] / Girl: But what is real? / Girl: A half-remembered...
Divinity Schooled [[Cat stands near a record player holding a record. A poster of Divine is behind him. He talks on the phone.]] / Cat: She says I'm a broken record. / Cat: So I'm like, I'll show you a broken record! / <> / [[Cat drops the record he was holding.]] / Cat: Oops. / [[Girl comes in.]] / Cat: Sorry. / [[Girl...
Moderation versus Magritte [[Cat stands in front of a bookshelf shoveling paint in his mouth from a can.]] / Radio: The day my momma socked it to the Harper Valley PTA / [[Cat lights his pipe. His gaze falls on an art book.]] / [[Cat looks through the book while puffing on his pipe.]] / [[Girl is looking out the window.]] / Cat:...
 
The Giving Couch [[Girl sits on the couch reading.]] / [[Something is wrong.]] / [[She sticks a hand under the couch cushion.]] / [[She pulls out a coin.]] / Cat: Where did you get money? / Girl: It was in the couch. / Cat: Do you think there's more? / Girl: We can check. / Girl: I have a nickel. / Cat: I've got two...
Boy has a Snow Day [[Boy sits on a toboggan on a snowy hill.]] / [[The toboggan slips out from under Boy and heads down the hill. Boy falls back into the snow.]] / [[Boy lies on the ground. A snowball hits him in the head.]] / Cat: Sorry. / Boy: Ow. / Girl: Are you OK? / Boy: My sled is broken. / Boy: And I'm cold. / Boy:...
Wednesday 9:45 [[Girl sits on a couch. Cat sits on the floor.]] / Girl: You know what's funny? / Girl: It's like we live day to day assuming that the world is what's around us - / [[Girl is wearing a mod 60s dress. Cat has a beard and a headband.]] / Girl: But every once in a while a window appears - / [[Girl wears...
The Daytrippers [[Cat and Girl run past a ticket office.]] / Girl: We're going to be late! / [[They make the T Local subway train as the doors close.]] / Girl: I don't see why we have to go to the future's beach. / Cat: The hot dogs are better. / [[They leave the train.]] / Girl: I guess we should check in first. / [[They...
Aaliyah was Wrong [[Boy and Girl walk past a fruit stand.]] / [[They walk past a house for sale.]] / [[They walk past a lady of the evening.]] / Girl: Capitalism demands that everything have a price! / [[They walk past a car dealership.]] / [[They walk past the Cyclone roller coaster.]] / Boy: How much does fun cost? / Girl:...
 

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