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Getting Old Girl: Are monsters real? / Cat: Of course they are. / Girl: Do we need them to be real? / Cat: I've seen their trucks. / Girl: What grander purpose do they serve? / Cat: They make cereal! / Girl: Every culture creates the monster it needs. / Girl: Frankenstein. / Cat: Strawberry flavored cereal with marshmallow bits! / Girl: Nosferatu. / Cat: Chocolate flavored cereal with marshmallow bits! / Girl: The werewolf. / Cat: Fruit flavored cereal with lime flavored marshmallow bits! / Girl: To keep us from seeing what's truly frightening. / Girl: Our daily compromises with an unjust society. / Cat: Bran flakes.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=783
Dinner at Eight [[Cat's wearing a suit and top hat. He's snacking.]] / [[Cat checks his watch.]] / Cat: Got your dancing shoes on? / [[Girl is wearing a black dress.]] / Girl: You bet! / Girl: Got your happy feet? / [[Cat holds up a bag with two feet inside.]] / Cat: Right here! / [[Cat smiles.]] / Girl: Whose are those? / Cat: They're mine. / Girl: Where are they from? / Cat: I paid for them. / Girl: The supermarket? / Cat: Next to the pork rinds. / Girl: Now I'm a little hungry. / Cat: Jazz hand?
http://catandgirl.com/?p=785
Misunderstood [[Girl sits outside reading.]] / Cat: You're in the pink! / Girl: What, because I'm a girl? / Cat: Pink means good things! / Cat: In the pink! Seeing the world through rose tinted glasses! / Cat: Let's get this party started! / Girl: Pink slips. Pink collar workers. Workplace discrimination! / Girl: Pink means emotions before intellect. / Girl: Blue means capable, action before intellect. / Girl: White collar is intellect. Sexless. / Girl: Pink means girl - pink means infantile. / [[Girl leaves Cat standing alone.]] / [[Cat turns blue.]]
http://catandgirl.com/?p=787
Pay Day [[The Beatnik Vampire sits at a computer in a dark office.]] / Mail guy: Mail! / [[The Beatnik Vampire smiles.]] / [[The Beatnik Vampire and Girl walk outside. The Beatnik Vampire holds an envelope.]] / Vampire: Man is the measure? How Fifteenth century. / Vampire: Money is the measure. / Girl: Horseradish! / Vampire: Money means possibility. / Girl: Time means possibility. / Vampire: Time is money. / Girl: Transitive property, yeah. / Girl: But once your needs are met, what does money mean? / Girl: Every porcelain rabbit something else for your heirs to discard. Every story of your house another set of stairs to fall down. / Girl: What does it mean that your golden swimming pool is filled with ten feet of cash? / Vampire: It means I can use the diving board.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=789
Bad Humor Ice Cream [[A Good Humor truck is selling ice cream.]] / Cat: Who wants ice cream? / Girl: Yay! / Cat: Who wants to pay for it? / Girl: Boo. / <> / [[A drop of water hits Girl.]] / <> / [[The clouds darken.]] / [[Rain begins to pour down.]] / <> / [[The Good Humor truck closes up.]] / [[Another ice cream truck is visible in the distance. The rain falls nowhere near it.]] / [[It is a Dry Humor ice cream truck.]] / [[Its bumper sticker says "If you can read this you're literate."]]
http://catandgirl.com/?p=791
 
Prognostication [[Cat looks in the freezer.]] / <> / [[Cat rummages around in the refrigerator. A sandwich is on the counter.]] / <> / [[Cat goes through the cabinets. Girl eyes the sandwich and licks her lips.]] / [[Girl is about to eat the sandwich.]] / Cat: I could have sworn I left those bird intestines around here somewhere. / [[Girl puts the sandwich down.]] / Cat: How am I supposed to get a weather forecast? / Girl: Why don't you check the internet? / Cat: Because I don't need a picture of a guy opening his butt? / Girl: That's just Web 1.0! Web 2.0 has weather and stuff too. / Cat: Can I order a pizza? / Girl: That's Web 3.14.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=793
Cat and Girl on Beach Patrol [[Cat checks his watch.]] / [[Girl comes in wearing a sailor hat and holding a picnic basket.]] / Girl: I made cucumber sandwiches! / Girl: And I got a little transistor radio so we can listen to music at the beach! / Cat: Get an ipod, caveman. / Girl: I'm not a caveman. / Cat: Say hello to the twenty-first century, dinosaur. / Cat: Would the dinosaur like some tasty ferns and a rotary phone? / Cat: Up in the sky! Is that a meteorite? Duck, dinosaur, duck! / [[Cat ducks.]] / Girl: I also got your parasol like you asked. / Girl: Narcissaurus.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=795
Cat and Girl versus Legitimacy Girl: I'm talking about the decorporealization of information! / Cat: Pffffft / Girl: It is important! Encyclopedia versus Wikipedia, facts printed and bound versus an ever-shifting text! / Girl: They're competing concepts of truth! / Cat: Pfffffft / Cat: Information's been decorporealized since the photocopy machine. / Cat: Or since the printing press marginalized the hand-written manuscript. / Cat: As physical barriers to dissemination fall, more people are given the chance to speak. / Cat: But the more voices that shout, the less legitimacy each voice has. / Girl: We could still try. / Cat: OK. / [[Cat and Girl are in a hole in the ground so deep only the top of Cat's ears stick out.]] / Cat: Help! / Girl: Help!
http://catandgirl.com/?p=797
Sad Dinner [[Girl sits at the kitchen table while Cat looks through the cabinets.]] / Girl: Do we have anything to eat? / Cat: Stuff in cans. / Cat: Meatloaf. String beans. / [[Cat opens up two cans and drops their contents on a plate, where the contents wiggle but maintain their can shapes.]] / <> / [[Cat does the same for a third can.]] / Cat: Pie. / <> / [[Cat and Girl watch the pie.]] / <> / Girl: Isn't that just like life? / Cat: Wibbly-wobbly? Half aspic? / Girl: We see ourselves as discrete individuals, self-determined - / Girl: But the force of our convictions is as important as the natural shape of this pie. / [[The background disappears.]] / Girl: We think we define our presence in the world, displacing the space around us with our authentic expression of self - / [[The background returns, but now Girl is gone, leaving a Girl-shaped hole.]] / Girl: when it's the negative space that defines us.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=799
Sad Dinner [[There is a Girl-shaped hole in the background where Girl used to be.]] / Girl: The roles we play in public - quiet friend, aggressive pedestrian, facile underling, consumer- / [[Girl begins to reappear.]] / Girl: - these roles have their own needs, and we live within the shadow walls of their expectations - / [[Girl fully reappears.]] / Girl: and we meet those expectations, and in doing so we validate them, and the loop closes, and the mold hardens, / [[Girl continues to speak while her body shifts its shape.]] / Girl: trapping different selves in different social spheres, each self equally false, broken, stagnant - / Girl: so if all life is a compromise with societal expectations, is there any self left? / [[Cat is eating the pie.]] / Girl: Yes! / Girl: The pie takes the shape of the can, but it never becomes the can. / [[Girl rests, satisfied.]] / <> / [[Girl's stomach speaks.]] / Girl: How's the pie? / Cat: Tastes like the meatloaf.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=801
 
Culture Wars [[Cat clutches a flag and a wooden sword. The flag says "Convenience or Death" and bears a picture of a snake in pieces in a styrofoam tray.]] / Cat: Give me convenience or give me death! / Cat: Make it snacktacular! Make it extreme! / [[Girl and Grrrl are hiding behind a small fortress roughly built from planks of wood.]] / Grrrl: Retreat! / Girl: Fall back! / Grrrl: Retreat to the aesthetic of inconvenience! / Girl: Retreat! / Girl: Retreat to the cassette tape, the tiny death mask of technology's casualties! / [[Grrrl raises her sword.]] / Grrrl: We'll mimeograph zines! We'll grow our own herbs! / Girl: We'll dance by the flame of the eternal trash heap and film it all on Super 8! / Grrrl: Or VHS! / Girl: We will treasure the birds and beasts left wanting as the Sherman's March of progress proceeds! / Grrrl: We'll start a cassette-only record label.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=803
Cat and Girl » Archive » National Pastime [[Baseball hits bat]] / <> / [[Cat and Girl. Cat is eating a hot dog.]] / [[Grrrl is waving a pennant reading "PATRIARCHY". Cat and Girl are several rows behind her, by the hot dog stand. Another spectator holds a sign reading "Go Heteronormative".]] / Girl: You're rooting for the patriarchy? / Grrrl: Oh, I don't usually. / Grrrl: But I've got a friend on the team. / [[Grrrl points.]] / Cat: Who's winning? / Grrrl: Huh? / Cat: Who's winning? / Grrrl: I don't understand. / Cat: Which team is the patriarchy? / Grrrl: Both. / Girl: Duh. / [[Grrrl goes back to waving her pennant.]] / Grrrl: Woo!
http://catandgirl.com/?p=805
The Dense Fog of Privilege [[Girl sits reading. Cat is considering a toy duck on wheels, hammer in hand.]] / [[Girl looks up. Fog is entering the room.]] / Girl: Uh-oh. / Cat: What is that? / [[The fog descends upon them. Girl holds a handkerchief up to her face.]] / Girl: Some kind of smoke. / Girl: Shut the windows! / Cat: It's too late. / Girl: If we could only reach the front door before - / [[Fog fills the room.]] / Girl: We're surrounded. / Girl: I'm feeling light-headed. / Cat: Getting... zzzz. / Girl: Cat! Are you still there? / Girl: Cat? / Girl: I can't see anything beyond myself!
http://catandgirl.com/?p=807
L-U-V [[Cat enjoys a group of flowers.]] / Cat: <> / [[Cat picks a flower and whistles a tune.]] / Cat: I'm in love. / [[Girl is shocked.]] / Cat: Not with you! / Cat: I've met the most beautiful lady. / Girl: Where? / Cat: Not so much "met." / Cat: But I read all the books she wrote and I think she really understands me! / Cat: We're gonna bake lemon bars together - sit on the beach in the fall - she'll read from her novels and I'll play my clarinet. / Cat: We'll live together in the cottage we build. I have to tell her how I feel! / [[Cat sits at a desk.]] / [[He holds a pencil and grimaces at a piece of paper.]] / [[He begins to write.]] / Cat: Dear Evelyn Waugh,
http://catandgirl.com/?p=809
Tut Tut [[Cat and Girl stand in a room crowded with things. Cat holds a mug.]] / Girl: The program coordinators and junior marketing executives and senior account managers. / Girl: Not ready to be defined by what they do, defining themselves by what they own. / Girl: Stuff! Boxes of records and limited edition cassette tapes. Tee shirts from thrift shops in Moldova. The kitsch of a previous generation, indifferently displayed. Stuff! / Girl: This is who I am. This future trash heap. This great meaningless tower of junk will be the only sign that I ever lived. / [[Cat puts his mug down on a bureau.]] / [[Cat extends his hand to Girl.]] / Girl: Use a coaster!
http://catandgirl.com/?p=811
 
It Doesn't Take a Weatherman [[Girl looks in her closet.]] / [[Cat sits at the kitchen table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Girl is wearing sunglasses and a scarf.]] / Girl: What's it like outside? / [[Cat looks at the paper.]] / [[Cat and Girl stand outside, sweating through their winter clothing.]] / [[Cat and Girl begin to remove their outerwear under the hot sun.]] / Cat: The papers are full of lies. / Girl: Lies and damn lies. / Cat: Lies, damn lies and fishsticks. / Girl: I'm glad Craigslist is killing newspapers. / Cat: Lies are killing newspapers. / Cat: Craigslist is killing Mothra. / Cat: And home taping is killing piracy. / [[A pirate stands on a street corner holding a sign that says "$ for Parrot Food."]] / Parrot: Unemployed! Unemployed!
http://catandgirl.com/?p=813
Drinking Is Forgetting the Name of the Thing One Drinks [[The Beatnik Vampire sits at a bar drinking beer from a bottle.]] / [[He rests on the bar.]] / [[The Beatnik Vampire leaves money on the bar and gets up to leave.]] / [[He walks alone down a city street.]] / [[Somewhere else, Cat is playing paddle ball.]] / <> / <> / [[The Beatnik Vampire arrives.]] / Vampire: Do you ever look inside yourself - / Vampire: only to see a cold hard ball where your heart ought to be? / <> / [[Cat's rubber ball snaps off from his paddle.]] / [[The rubber ball falls. Cat catches it.]] / [[Cat looks at the ball, now useless.]] / Cat: If you had seven friends we could play Bocce.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=815
Historical Reenactors [[Boy stands in the front of a classroom dressed as a Civil War soldier.]] / Boy: They slept in filthy tents. / Class: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. / Boy: Disease took more lives than battle. / Class: <> / Teacher: Grrrl? / [[Grrrl stands in front of the classroom dresses as a hippie.]] / Grrrl: <> / Grrrl: The hippie mantra was turn on, tune in, drop out - until simplistic idealism fell out of fashion - and the mantra became give up and cash in. / Grrrl: And they slept in filthy tents. / Grrrl: Sometimes with Jim Morrison. / Class: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=817
Historical Fiction [[Grrrl and Boy stand outside their classroom looking at sheets of paper. Grrrl is dressed as a hippie and Boy is dressed as a Civil War soldier.]] / Grrrl: A- / Boy: C+ / Grrrl: History is written by the victor. / Boy: But reenacted by the loser. / Grrrl: Why would you want to reenact losing? / Boy: Don't you ever have a bad time you can't shake - / Boy: so you remind yourself of it again and again, hoping its impact will decrease with each recitation? / Grrrl: Does the story change? / Grrrl: Like, if you're at a reenactment counting butterfly ballots, do you think - maybe this time we'll win? / Boy: It's not that we might win. / Boy: It's more like - we don't yet know we've lost. / Boy: Like living before the history has been written. / Grrrl: Because history is written by the victors. / Grrrl: What do the losers write? / Boy: Fanfic.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=819
Tuesday [[Cat holds a book up to his face.]] / Girl: Those are the white pages. / Cat: Explain the New Testament! / Girl: Those are the yellow pages! / [[We hear Tuesday's Cat and Girl arguing off-screen. Current Cat and Girl are sitting on the couch watching television nearby.]] / Cat: That's not Jesus? / Girl: That's a futon ad. / Cat: But these prices are miraculous. / Cat: Let's go to the store and walk on the waterbeds! / [[Present Cat and Girl are outside the house.]] / Cat: Maybe I shouldn't have sold our car. / Girl: How are we going to get back to the present?!? / Cat: We can take the train. / Girl: The train's not running today! / Cat: We can walk. / Girl: It's too far to walk. / Cat: We can run. / Girl: Not in these shoes.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=821
 
Back to Friday [[Cat sits on the sidewalk outside of "Sneaker Shack."]] / <> / [[Girl leaves the store with a shoebox.]] / Cat: Ready to go? / Girl: Hold on - / [[Girl takes the shoes out of the box to put them on.]] / Girl: Ready! / Cat: What are those? / Girl: Maya Deren running shoes. / [[Girl's foot takes a step in the sneakers. Her shoe hits sidewalk and a brick wall is in the background.]] / [[Another step, this one through tall grass.]] / [[Another step. The inside of a house, a tiled floor.]]
http://catandgirl.com/?p=823
Rainy Days and Mondays [[It's raining. Boy stands outside, holes in his umbrella, soaking wet.]] / [[Cat and Girl watch him, safe and dry inside the house. Girl is sad. Cat smiles.]] / [[Cat and Girl look at each other.]] / [[They look back to Boy.]] / [[Cat is in the kitchen. He cracks eggs into a bowl.]] / [[Cat mixes batter in a bowl.]] / [[Cat pours the batter into a pan and puts the pan in the oven.]] / <> / [[Cat rings a doorbell.]] / [[Boy answers the door. He's still wet. Cat holds out a cake.]] / Cat: I baked you a cake. / Boy: Thank you! / [[Cat walks away.]] / Cat: Oh! / Cat: I hope he's not allergic to cat feces.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=825
Fakers <> / [[Cat plays paddle ball.]] / Grrrl: If you're not angry you're not paying attention. / <> / Grrrl: Hey! You're not paying attention to me! / <> / [[Grrrl leaves.]] / Cat: Huh? / [[Girl and Grrrl are walking outside.]] / Grrrl: What's the point of being young if you don't hate everything? / Girl: <> / Girl: Do you smell that? / Girl: That sweetness on the air. / Girl: The birds are back. Spring is here! / [[Girl smiles. She walks away.]] / [[Grrrl is left alone.]] / Grrrl: I'm not one of those misanthropes who only hates people on Christmas and Easter.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=827
Cat and Girl's Fascist Field Guide {{Fascist}} / [[Girl stands alone.]] / {{Crypto-Fascist}} / [[Grrrl holds her hands together, looking devious.]] / {{Mall Fascists}} / Girl: Poser! / Grrrl: Sell-out! / {{Embittered High School teachers who wield no power in the adult world}} / {{Micro-Fascist}} / [[A police officer.]] / {{Macro-Fascist}} / [[We see only a giant eyeball and one side of a nose.]] / {{Neo-Fascist}} / [[A guy with bad skin and an overbite is dressed as Neo from the Matrix.]] / {{Aqua-Fascist}} / [[A fish.]] / {{Keeblo-Fascist}} / [[Cat is dressed as a Keebler elf.]] / Cat: Arbeit macht Pie.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=829
Bad Ideas {{How not to draw a Cat and Girl cartoon}} / {{Prepare two hundred page manuscript, decide most of it must be redrawn.}} / [[Dorothy sit at a desk, angry. She throws away a piece of paper with cartoon panels drawn on it.]] / {{Lose all track of time.}} / [[Dorothy sits at a computer in the dark. She checks her watch.]] / Dorothy: It's what day? / {{Drink coffee until your hands shake.}} / [[Dorothy sits at a desk with a piece of paper, cup of coffee and shaky hands.]] / {{Generally go cheese crackers.}} / Dorothy: I've gone cheese crackers. / Mister Chen: We have cheese crackers?
http://catandgirl.com/?p=831
 
If... Girl: Endlessly retractable debt ceilings funding foreign meddling - / Girl: If governments were people they'd never get away with it. / Girl: Our eyes staring at an empty supper plate while our arms reach out behind us to torture and maim. / Girl: A puppet of our creditors, passing off their dance as our own. / Girl: Stumbling as we starve our feet of oxygen, falling as we sell our legs. / Girl: If governments were people they'd never get away with it! / Cat: And if monkeys were people they'd wear little pants! / [[Cat and Girl enjoy considering the possibility.]]
http://catandgirl.com/?p=833
Donner Party Platter [[Girl stands flipping pancakes at a stove in the kitchen.]] / [[Cat sits on the couch. Girl carries a stack of pancakes over to him.]] / Girl: Waffle Claus was here! / Cat: He left waffles? / Girl: Pancakes, strangely. / Cat: Ooooo! / Cat: What are the chunks? / Girl: Cod. / Girl: And some hot dogs. / Cat: I don't eat meat. / Girl: Oh poo. / Girl: We all die in the end. If we're lucky, we die delicious. / [[Cat stuffs a pancake halfway into his mouth.]] / Cat: Mff mfff mf mff. / Cat: I make an exception for things that look tasty. / Cat: And fish. / Girl: You're not a vegetarian! / Cat: I'm a theoretical vegetarian. / Cat: All of the moral superiority, none of the soy!
http://catandgirl.com/?p=835
a class="searchlink" href="http://catandgirl.com/?p=837">http://catandgirl.com/?p=837 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
Good Books Girl: The Oxford English Dictionary. How to Cook Everything. Valley of the Dolls. / [[Cat is holding a book.]] / Girl: These are books to have faith in. / Girl: Books to believe in, books to live by. / Cat: Yeah! / Girl: But the mistranslated words of a dead god - / Cat: And the whole first half is just a list of names! / Cat: A. Marcel Levi. A. Strauss. Abakporo, Paul. / Girl: That's the phone book. / Girl: Those are the white pages. / Cat: Explain the New Testament! / Girl: Those are the yellow pages! / Cat: That's not Jesus? / Girl: That's a futon ad. / Cat: But these prices are miraculous.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=839
Icons of Self-Indulgent Claptrap Girl: A baby boomer buys Time-Life's "Icons of Self-Indulgent Claptrap: The Sixties" on eight CDs or sixty-eight cassettes - this is nostalgia. / Girl: But they don't miss listening to the Doors - they miss their youth. / [[Cat is wearing a baseball mitt, his hands open for a throw.]] / Girl: The guy in the Pac-man hoodie doesn't miss Pac-man, he misses the person he was when he first played Pac-man. / Cat: What about Audiogalaxy? I miss Audiogalaxy. / Girl: Micronostalgia! Desperate grasping at every Burma-Shave sign we've hurtled past in our swift descent to the grave! / Cat: Downloading Fabolous songs. Taking on the world. / Cat: SOB / Cat: O raw green buds of Spring - O wild dreams of flight - naivete protect us from the cold thin hands of night / Cat: O youth. / [[Cat looks behind him, into the house. A calender hangs on the wall.]] / Cat: O Tuesday.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=841
 

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