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The Numbers Racket [[Cat and Girl walk through the mountains.]] / Girl: I.Q. ERA. / [[Cat carries a picnic basket.]] / Girl: Music charts, movie reviews and Zagat. / Girl: Viewing the world, but only seeing the rankings and numbers. / [[Cat spreads the picnic blanket.]] / Girl: How many stars do I get for waking up in the morning? Is this a two thumbs up mountain? / Girl: Forever quantifying. / Girl: How lame is that? / Cat: Eight.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1048
Girl Alone [[Cat and Girl walk outside.]] / Girl: Something big happens - / Girl: and life becomes a novel or an article read by a stranger / [[Cat leaves.]] / Girl: and suddenly you're not an endlessly complex ego / Girl: You're a few words, a bit part in someone else's story. / Girl: And you see yourself in the distance, very very small / Girl: cast in someone else's light, someone else's shadow / Girl: and all your small moments are gone, the groceries and long drives and rain storms that make up a life. / [[Girl washes dishes.]] / [[Girl checks the mailbox.]] / [[Girl sits a a table reading, a cup of coffee by her side.]]
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1050
I-Con, U-Con Cat: It's dorky. / Girl: It's not dorky! / [[Cat and Girl walk towards a large low building hosting NPR-con.]] / Cat: It's dorky. / [[A bearded man in a suit stands behind a table loaded with books and clocks. His banner says "Marketplace Marketplace." Signboard: "All Things Considered considers enunciation."]] / [[A woman and man in prairie-garb. The woman holds a camera. She talks to a man and son in car costumes. Their license plates say "Click" and "Clack."]] / Prairie Woman: Can I take your picture? / [[Girl talks to someone dressed in a suit of armor with a shiled that says "Classical Music." Behind her signs point to "Meet the cast of 'Fresh Air'" and the bathrooms.]] / Cat: Since when has Terry Gross been a gorilla in a tiny hat? / Girl: Since always, duh.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1052
Cat and Girl in Japan [[Cat and Girl look at robots in a museum.]] / [[Cat and Girl walk through a jungle of billboards and neon lights.]] / [[Cat and Girl put their heads into a beach scene...]] / [[... at the beach.]] / [[Cat and Girl wade in the water.]] / [[Cat naps on the beach while Girl reads.]] / [[Girl looks through binoculars.]] / [[Fish swim through the water.]] / [[Cat and Girl look down at them from a boat.]] / [[They sit on the boat.]] / [[They get back to their hotel room.]] / Cat: What do you want for dinner? / Girl: I don't care. / Cat: Oooo you'll like this. / Cat: Let's get the Whale Lover's Pizza.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1054
What Would Senor Wences Do [[Girl sits reading.]] / [[She squints at her book.]] / [[Cat thrusts his face in near hers. A raven sits on his shoulder.]] / Cat: I'm a ventriloquist! / Cat: The three of us will get along just fine! / Cat: Knock on Wood! / [[Cat taps his fist into the bird on his shoulder.]] / Raven: Awk! / [[Cat drinks a glass of water.]] / Cat: <> / Raven: Nevermore! / Girl: That's not a dummy. / Cat: Darn tootin' Johnny Flapjack's no dummy. / Girl: It's a bird! / Raven: Nevermore! / [[Cat and Girl look at each other.]] / Cat: I'm a pirate. / Girl: It's a raven! / Cat: A goth pirate!
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1056
 
The Ninth Floor of Hell [[The devil sits at his desk in an office building. His briefcase is open in front of him.]] / [[The devil puts on his coat.]] / Cat: Once again I summon thee Prince of Darkness / Devil: I work here. / Cat: Verily I lit a candle to the goat king and inquired politely of your administrative assistant. / Devil: Please get to the point. / Cat: I want... to sell me soul! / [[Cat leans back, shielding his eyes from something that does not happen.]] / Devil: I'll give you this bag of nachos. / Cat: Big bag? / Devil: Trial size. / Cat: It's open. / Devil: I ate some. / Cat: I don't know. / Devil: Can you make this quick? "Everybody Loves Raymond" is on in 20 minutes.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1058
School's Out [[An elementary school. A "School Bus Zone" sign out front points the way to "Nurse" and "Pudding."]] / [[Cat sips on a milkshake.]] / <> / [[Girl shakes her fist at the doors that have closed behind her.]] / Girl: You want to belittle me? Let me know my place? Issue hall and bathroom passes? Fine! / Girl: You want to break down anyone who ask questions to protect your own incompetence? Fine! / Girl: Give privileges to unimaginative brown nosers! Marginalize me for not playing along! / Girl: Fine! But don't expect me to smile and thank you! / Girl: I'm not gonna drink your bullshit milkshake. / [[Girl walks away. Cat is sad.]] / [[Cat looks angrily at his milkshake.]]
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1060
For the Articles [[Girl sits indoors, reading a book. cat is outside chasing a small bird.]] / [[Girl reads something hidden inside her book. Outside, a larger bird chases Cat.]] / [[Cat approaches Girl quietly.]] / [[He smiles.]] / Cat: Whatcha readin' about? / Girl: Nothing! / Cat: Nothing? / Girl: Go away! / [[Cat reaches for what Girl is hiding.]] / Cat: A young ethnic girl coming of age in America? / Girl: No! / Cat: A nun who solves mysteries? / Girl: No! / Cat: "The DaVinci Code?" / Girl: NO! / [[Cat grabs Girl's magazine.]] / Cat: Hah! / Girl: No! / Cat: Bop? / [[Cat looks down. It is a page from Bop magazine featuring Eliot Spitzer.]]
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1062
Cat and Girl discuss Politics Cat: Ashley? / Girl: No. / Cat: Mary-Kate? / Girl: Definitely not. / Cat: Lindsey Lohan? / Girl: Too bubblegum. / Cat: Natalie Portman? / Girl: Not WASPy enough. / Cat: Maggie Gyllenhaal? / Girl: Too old. / Cat: Scarlett Johansson? / Girl: Not very bright. / Cat: Julia Stiles? / Girl: Not famous enough. / [[Girl broods.]] / Girl: Who will be our generation's Jodie Foster?
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1064
The Blue Comic [[Girl holds a marshmallow on a stick.]] / Girl: Popularity is just targeted consumption. / [[Cat and Girl sit around a campfire. Girl roasts her marshmallow and Cat has a mouse on a stick.]] / Girl: Ipods and cell phones and I bought the Franz Ferdinand cd before you did. / Girl: Marketplace of ideas! Ideas never stood a chance. / [[Girl holds her burning marshmallow.]] / Girl: I wish I was popular. / Cat: You know what's popular? / [[Cat grabs an acoustic guitar.]] / Cat: Christian Rock! / Cat: If you want to destroy my Savior / Cat: pull this thread as I walk away / Cat: Watch me unravel I'll soon be naked / Cat: Dying on the cross! Dying on the cross! God's only son!
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1066
 
Sunglasses Before Dark [[Girl tries on sunglasses.]] / Cat: Nice. / [[Girl sees an old car.]] / Girl: Cool. / Grrrl: No it's not! / Grrrl: Cool was standing apart from mainstream society - / Grrrl: - denying the pleasures of the garden of mediocrity. / Grrrl: Now it's standing apart from people who read different lifestyle magazines! / Grrrl: Consuming the right things. / Grrrl: Cool isn't for people with money or taste or options or futures. / Grrrl: Cool is the consolation prize! / Grrrl: If cool is just a type of consumption, what so I have left? / Cat: You're still pretentious. / Grrrl: Yeah.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1068
The Hipster Scout Lodge [[Grrrl sits alone in a booth at a bar. She is wearing her Hipster Scout uniform.]] / [[Three Hipster Scouts stand at another table, talking and having a grand old time.]] / [[A man walks over to them.]] / [[They talk.]] / Grrrl: I wish people liked me. / Grrrl: If I was in charge people would like me. / Cat: No... / Cat: If you were in charge people would pretend to like you. / Grrrl: That's enough.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1070
Girl versus the Sink [[Girl is washing dishes.]] / [[She wipes the sweat from her forehead.]] / <> / [[Cat comes in.]] / Girl: Where have you been? / Cat: Just taking my imaginary motorcycle for a spin. / Girl: I told you Tuesday was disinfectant day! / Cat: Santa Claus needed a ride. / Girl: You gave Santa Claus a ride. / Cat: The Easter Bunny was too messed up to drive. / Girl: Santa Claus ?! The Easter Bunny ?!?! / Girl: Next you'll tell me hard work is the path to success! / Cat: Ha ha ha?
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1072
Gender Mender [[A bully takes Boy's money.]] / [[He pushes Boy over.]] / Boy: I'm a sissy. / Girl: Don't say that. / [[Girl helps Boy up.]] / Girl: Sissy is a pejorative term for Boys who appear effeminate. / Girl: Typical for a society that considers the separation of male and female identified characteristics more important than the separation of church and state. / Girl: Using "sissy" as an insult empowers the assumption that boys aren't allowed feminine qualities. / Girl: No one lies completely within any of society's prescribed gender roles - if only we could all be so bold as to admit that. / [[Boy smiles.]] / Cat: You're so sissy you starred in "Coal Miner's Daughter." / !
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1074
Cat versus the Invisible Hand of Capitalism [[The toy pit of a claw machine. "50c to play."]] / [[Cat sleeps in the pit.]] / [[He turns around.]] / Cat: <> / [[The claw descends.]] / [[Cat pushes the stuffed animal on top of him toward the claw.]] / Cat: Take him! Take him! / Cat: I'm looking out for number six billion eighty two hundred thousand nine hundred and sixty six thousand four hundred and twenty-nine!
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1076
 
The Lost Weekend [[A bucket of paint has spilled. Girl wanders ankle-deep in it.]] / [[A lamp has been knocked off a side table.]] / [[Three empty paint cans, one of them spilling more paint onto the ground.]] / [[Girl imagines Cat eating out of the paint cans.]] / [[The paint is flowing down the walls, destroying a picture there.]] / [[Girl imagines Cat woozy with paint and now with a gun in his hand.]] / [[In Girl's imagination, Cat uses the gun to hold up Santa Claus.]] / [[Girl imagines an atomic bomb exploding.]] / [[Paint drips on her head. She's angry.]] / [[Girl finally finds Cat. He is painting a picture of himself on the wall.]]
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1078
War of the Poses [[Cat is wearing a sleeveless leather motorcycle jacket with spikes and buttons on it.]] / [[Girl wears a headband, granny glasses and a vest with a peace sign on it.]] / [[Cat is wearing thick glasses and a pocket protector.]] / [[Girl is dressed in a cheerleader outfit and holding a megaphone.]] / [[Cat wears a dark suit and tie.]] / [[Girl wears a black turtleneck, beret and sunglasses. She carries a book.]] / [[Cat wears a turtleneck and a tweed jacket with a button that says "NPR." He holds a cup of Starbucks coffee.]] / [[Girl wears an American flag tee shirt and a #3 trucker hat. She sticks her tongue out.]] / [[Cat wears the uniform of a Confederate Civil War soldier. He shakes his fist.]] / [[Girl wears the uniform of a Union Civil War soldier. She shakes her fist.]] / [[Cat is dressed like Girl.]] / Cat: Jerk. / [[Girl is dressed like Cat.]] / Girl: Stupid jerk.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1080
Girl versus Belonging [[Girl is reading "Valley of the Dolls."]] / <> / [[Grrrl taps on her window.]] / Grrrl: You've been nominated for the Hipster Scouts! / Girl: Really? / [[Girl is sad.]] / Grrrl: I pulled a lot of favors for this. / Girl: It's just- / Girl: You know what Marx said. / Grrrl: "From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs?" / Cat: You bet your life! / Girl: Only rejection makes acceptance meaningful. / Girl: So what's the point of being in a club that accepts me? / Cat: Future Corpses of America offers scrapbooking workshops.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1082
Cat and Girl at Ford's Theater [[A kid rolls a ball of snow.]] / [[Another kid pokes a carrot into it for a nose.]] / [[The kid puts a beard on the snowman -]] / [[and then a top hat.]] / [[The top hat wiggles and the snowman come to life!]] / Snowman: Is the legislature still in session? / Snowman: I will meet with General Grant. / Kids: Yay! / Snowman: Reconstruction begins! Civil rights will be preserved! / Kid: Yay! / Kid: Yay! / [[Cat and Girl are at a movie theater ticker booth.]] / Girl: Two please. / Cat: Popcorn? / Girl: We'll get water. / [[Cat and Girl sip their waters.]] / Kids: NO!
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1084
Chutes and Corporate Ladders [[Boy walks into an office.]] / [[He works in the mail room.]] / [[He gets paid.]] / [[Boy works at a computer.]] / [[Boy talks about television by the water cooler.]] / [[Boy gets paid.]] / [[Boy sits at a computer.]] / [[Boy explains a pie chart at a meeting.]] / [[Boy has an office and a secretary.]] / [[Boy gets paid.]] / [[Boy sits at a computer in a suit and tie.]] / Boy: The more I work - / Boy: the more distant my goals seem. / Boy: How can I win? / Girl: Stop trying. / [[Grrrl carves a duck out of soap.]] / [[Grrrl goes door to door selling cookies.]] / [[Grrrl gets a Hipster Scout badge.]] / [[Grrrl's band plays.]] / [[Grrrl talks about the Munsters at a bar.]] / [[Grrrl gets another Hipster Scout badge.]] / [[Grrrl is sad.]] / Grrrl: The more I work - / Grrrl: the more distant my goals seem. / Grrrl: How can I win? / Cat: Stop trying.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1086
 
Boy [[Boy is in bed. His alarm clock rings.]] / [[At work he shuffles through the drawers of filing cabinets.]] / [[Boy sits at a computer.]] / [[Boy walks through the office. It is full of people in cubicles sitting at computers.]] / [[Boy gets in the elevator.]] / [[He walks out of the office building.]] / [[Boy walks toward a big windowless store. He is thinking about TV.]] / [[The store is surrounded by an empty parking lot.]] / [[The earth from space has taken on the square dimensions of Boy's world.]]
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1088
We Now Return to our Regular Programming Grrrl: So I told them I wasn't going to play their game anymore. / Grrrl: My life is worth more than money! / Grrrl: We should have entertainment based on creativity rather than consumption - if I can write a play instead of seeing a movie - / Grrrl: maybe I can start to sever those links between money and pleasure, money and reward - / Grrrl: Maybe I can start to be free. / Girl: There's a term for people like you. / Grrrl: Downwardly mobile?
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1090
The Good Old Days [[Cat and Girl walk past a market.]] / Hobo: Space some change? / Cat: Change! / Cat: What's change ever done for anyone! / Cat: Give me the good old days. / Cat: When the suburb was king and the army was conscription! / Cat: When you shaved with a straight razor and laundry took all day! / Cat: When men were men and women died in childbirth! / [[Girl gets angry.]] / [[Cat gets sad.]] / Cat: I spent all my money on DVDs. / [[Cat holds a copy of "Golden Girls: CI."]]
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1092
Cat and Girl Do Good [[Girl and Grrrl are in the supermarket.]] / Girl: Buying CDs to support bands I like. / [[Cat holds a box of cupcakes.]] / Girl: Organic food - no, put that away. / Girl: Free range meat, you know. / Girl: I try to be a morally responsible consumer. / [[Cat carries a box of cookies and a pleading look.]] / Girl: No! / Grrrl: No! / Grrrl: Consuming morally still reinforces the social importance of consumption! / Girl: It's better than doing nothing! / Grrrl: You're using your money to feel morally superior! / Grrrl: Most people buy processed agribusiness crap because that's what they can afford! / Grrrl: Your ideals are a luxury! / [[Girl is angry.]] / [[Girl is sad.]] / [[Girl sits alone in the dark eating from a box of cookies.]]
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1094
Money Talks [[Cat and Girl walk through a city.]] / Girl: Price is not value. / Girl: Money is an arbitrary indicator. / Girl: You might have twice as much money as I do - / Girl: But if I'm happy with a quarter of that - / Girl: I'm twice as rich as you are! / [[Girl smiles. Cat frowns.]] / [[Cat and Girl walk past a fancy restaurant.]] / [[Girl walks past a record store.]] / Cat: Jealous? / Girl: It's not about the money! / Girl: It's about the smug sense of superiority.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1096
 
Cat and Girl in the Audience [[Cat and Girl watch television.]] / Girl: Are you crying? / Cat: No. / Cat: <> / Girl: You always cry during "Pretty in Pink." / Cat: Poor Duckie. / Girl: You know, she originally ended up with Duckie but test audiences complained. / Cat: Really? <> / Girl: Just like "Little Women." / Cat: That's a book? / Girl: After rejecting Laurie - / Cat: Blane? / Girl: - Jo was happy with her independence. / Girl: But the audience wanted her "happily" paired off, so hello Mr. German Professor. / Girl: Stuck with a culturally imposed notion of happiness rather than her own. / Cat: Poor Jo! / Cat: <> / Girl: You know, in the original ending of the Civil War Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee got married. / Cat: Poor Abraham Lincoln!
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1098
Feeling Crumby [[Cat and Girl are outside. Girl is flying a kite.]] / Girl: Why did the cookie go to the hospital? / [[Cat, Girl and Boy sit on a couch. Chinese food litters the table in front of them.]] / Boy: Lucky Numbers: 10, 22, 9. 18. / Girl: Open yours next! / Cat: OK. / [[Cat cracks open a fortune cookie.]] / Cat: Your love of pop music masks an obsession with the false promises of childhood. / [[Cat is angry. His hands tremble.]] / [[Cat and Girl are outdoors.]] / Cat: He... fell down the stairs?
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1100
Girl goes on Vacation [[Cat looks at a picture of Girl in a mortarboard.]] / Cat: I don't need her. / [[A devil appears to Cat's right.]] / Devil: Yes you do. / [[An angel appears to cat's left.]] / Angel: No he doesn't. / Cat: No I don't. / Devil: The universe is built of couples. / Devil: Protons and electrons - opposites attracting, strengthening each other. / Devil: The world cries for stability. / Angel: The world cries to be stagnant! / Angel: Protons and electrons neutralize each other! Chaos tipped the world from its axis! / Devil: Destroying stability. / Angel: Creating seasons! / Devil: Creating unhappy extremes! / Angel: Fostering difference! / Devil: Destroying harmony! / Angel: Creating choice! / Devil: I love you! / Angel: I love you too! / [[They embrace.]] / Cat: I'm so lonely.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1102
Girl goes on Vacation [[Cat looks at a picture of Girl in a mortarboard.]] / Cat: I don't need her. / [[An angel appears to Cat's right.]] / Angel: Yes you do. / [[A devil appears to cat's left.]] / Devil: No he doesn't. / Cat: No I don't. / Angel: The universe is built of couples. / Angel: Protons and electrons - opposites attracting, strengthening each other. / Angel: The world cries for stability. / Devil: The world cries to be stagnant! / Devil: Protons and electrons neutralize each other! Chaos tipped the world from its axis! / Angel: Destroying stability. / Devil: Creating seasons! / Angel: Creating unhappy extremes! / Devil: Fostering difference! / Angel: Destroying harmony! / Devil: Creating choice! / Angel: I love you! / Devil: I love you too! / [[They embrace.]] / Cat: I'm so lonely.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1104
Choose and/or Lose [[Boy brushes his teeth.]] / [[Boy picks out a shirt to wear.]] / [[Boy grabs some books from a table.]] / [[Boy looks in a refrigerator and sees vanilla yogurt and plain yogurt.]] / [[A cafeteria.]] / Grrrl: You're saying it's impossible to be cooler on the inside? / [[Boy enters.]] / Girl: I'm saying thoughts that don't lead to actions don't exist. / Girl: Your actions create your interior self - not the other way around. / Girl: You are what you do. / Grrrl: Are you what you eat? / Girl: More or less. / [[Boy looks at his plain yogurt.]] / Grrrl: Can you eat culture? / Girl: Don't be daft. / Grrrl: It was just a joke.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=1106
 

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