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|Cat and Girl have Secrets||[[Girl is in her bedroom. Cat appears in the doorway.]] / Cat: Huh? / Girl: What? / Cat: I thought I heard something. / Girl: No. / [[Cat looks at her.]] / Cat: You're sure - / [[Girl throws her arms in the air.]] / Girl: Yes! / [[Girl turns away from him.]] / Cat: Well, I'll be in the living room if you want me. / Girl: Okay, but I won't. / [[Cat closes the door.]] / [[Girl lifts up the pillow on her bed. There are small figures beneath it.]] / [[Girl is playing with the figures.]] / Girl: I'm home! Where's my princess? / Girl: I've just put a roast on - dinner will be ready in half an hour. / Girl: I love you, Mommy and Daddy.|
|Girl versus Fashion||[[Girl and Grrrl stand outside. A guy walks by in an "Abercrombie and Fitch Co-Ed Softball" shirt.]] / [[A little girl walks by in a shirt that says "Punk."]] / Grrrl: Arrrgh! / [[A guy walks by in a "Pez" t-shirt.]] / [[A lady walks by wearing a "Rodeo Champ" shirt.]] / Girl: Doesn't anybody mean what they wear? / [[A girl's shirt says "...and all I got was this lousy tee-shirt."]] / [[A guy walks by in a button-down gas station shirt.]] / Grrrl: They're making a joke out of other peoples' lives! / [[A guy walks by in an "Avalanche Rescue Team" shirt.]] / [[A lady walks by in a "Rock Star" shirt.]] / Girl: The signifier and signified have been irrevocably separated. / Girl: Score one for post-modernism. / [[Cat holds three popsicles. He's wearing a Cat and Girl shirt.]] / Cat: Say again?|
|Cat and Girl's Star-Spangled Comics||[[Cat and Girl watch television.]] / Girl: "The Greatest Generation." / [[The television plays "Pearl Harbor."]] / Girl: "The Good War." / Girl: bah! / Girl: What about xenophobia so ridiculous that sauerkraut was called "victory cabbage?" / Girl: Doesn't anyone remember the internment camps? Where's their feel-good movie? / Girl: Just because the U.S. was fighting unimaginable evil - it didn't automatically make every action of ours one of pure good! / Cat: So? / Girl: So change the channel and quit hogging the afghan. / Cat: "Victory Blanket."|
|Cat and Girl's Star-Spangled Comics 2||[[Cat and Girl walk down a city street.]] / Boy hawking newspapers: $! / Man hawking flags: $! / Man hawking American flag umbrellas: $! / Lady hawking flags with pictures of flags on them: $! / Guy hawking American flag bandanas: $! / Guy hawking "America Under Attack" shirts: $! / Lady hawking "I Survived the World Trade Center" shirts: $! / Girl: Cripes! / Girl: What about "I saw the World Trade Center collapse and all I got was this lousy fear and doubt and self-hatred?" / Cat: You don't have the nightmares?|
|Grrrl Adapts||[[Grrrl holds a guitar. A teddy bear sits behind a drum kit with sticks taped to its hands.]]
/ Grrrl: Let's try this again. / Grrrl: 1, 2... / Grrrl: 1! 2! 3! 4! / Grrrl: Well the modern world is not so bad / Grrrl: It's not like the students say / Grrrl: In fact I'd be in heaven if you'd share the modern world with me / Grrrl: We'd be in love with the USA now, we'd be in love with the modern world now
|Cat Tells It Like It Will Be||Somewhere in the early 1990s... / [[Cat is talking to a group of small children.]] / Cat: Cute will be cool. / Cat: Wallet chains will look dumb. / Cat: Technology will cost less and coffee will cost more. / Cat: Micheal Jackson will marry Priscilla Presley. / Cat: Drew Barrymore will no longer be America's alcoholic Shirley Temple. / Cat: The year 2000 will give computers an opportunity to depose their human overlords but, sadly, they will not take advantage of it. / Cat: cough. / Cat: Yes - question? / Kid: Will there be los of large anthropomorphic cats in the future? / Cat: A couple dozen.|
|Cat and Girl Settle In||In the early 1990s... / Girl: I'm beginning to like it here. / Girl: A time before ubiquitous high-priced coffee stands. / Lady: High priced coffee stands... / Girl: Before swing was cool. / Punk: Swing? Cool! / Girl: Before Yuppies moved back to the city and drove rent prices up. / Lady with gym bag: Maybe it is time to move back. / Girl: Before the government stripped away the last of the New Deal and gave up on nationalized health care entirely. / Man in suit: Hmm... / [[Girl looks over.]] / Girl: Gee, I sure hope there won't be growing anti-corporate sentiment among youth! / Guy: Hey - that is a pretty good idea. / Girl: Well, score one for our side. / [[The guy looks up. A piano is about to fall on him.]]|
|Cat and Girl versus Cat||In the early 1990s
/ [[Cat is wearing a flannel shirt and a watch cap.]] / [[Girl and Cat (dressed normally) sit at outdoor table.]]
/ Cat: Check out that loser. / Cat: Oh, hey, look at me! I'm so grunge. / [[A kid comes up to Grunge Cat with what looks like a pizza box.]]
/ Grunge Cat: It's been more than 30 minutes.
/ Cat: I'm a big stupid head! / [[A baby peeks is head out of the pizza box.]]
/ Grunge Cat: This baby should be free.
/ Cat: I think I'm so great.
/ Delivery Kid: Hey, man. / Delivery Kid: I got stuck in traffic. Give me a break.
/ Grunge Cat: Did you say something? / Cat: I said you're a big stupid loser head.
/ Grunge Cat: Takes one to know one. / <
|Go Home, Cat and Girl||In the early 1990s... / Cat: Looks like the Time Travel Train doesn't make local stops on weekends. / Girl: I think we can take the uptown express to 2525 and transfer to a local downtown train. / [[Grrrl spots Cat and Girl reading the service announcements.]] / Grrrl: Hey, what's up? / Cat: We, um... / Girl: We're lost. How do we get to 2001? / Grrrl: I'm heading there right now. Just follow me. / Girl: Do you spend a lot of time in the 90s? / Grrrl: I live here. / Girl: But we go to school in 2001. / Grrrl: I commute. / Grrrl: Rent's a lot cheaper in the past.|
|Cat and Girl put the Kettle on||[[Girl and Boy are playing cards.]]
|Boy at the Beach||ONE DAY
/ Bodybuilder: Ha Ha
/ [[A bodybuilder kicks sand in boy's face at the beach. Girl looks on.]] / Boy: My eyes are burning.
/ Girl: I'll pack up. / LATER
/ [[Ad for an "Indie Pop Starter Kit."]] / Boy: Hmmmm... / EVEN LATER
/ [[There's a package for Boy in his mailbox.]]
/ Boy: Oh boy! / [[Boy opens the box.]]
/ Boy: A striped sweater... / Boy: Funny looking glasses... / [[Boy holds scissors.]]
/ Boy: I can give myself a bad haircut! / Boy: And an anorak! / LATER STILL
/ [[Boy sits at the beach wearing his new sweater and glasses.]] / <
|Cat and Girl do Laundry||[[A kite.]] / [[Laundry hangs on the kite string.]] / [[Cat and Girl are flying the kite from a hot air balloon.]] / [[The balloon's basket is filled with soapy water, and Cat is scrubbing his back with a brush.]] / [[Girl sits in an inner tube.]] / [[They fly over mountains.]] / [[They fly over a beach.]] / [[They fly over a city.]] / [[They fly over a village.]] / [[Cat empties a jug of bleach into the water. Girl looks down.]] / Girl: A lot of people have bangs.|
|Cat and Girl drive the Conversation||Cat: I said, how's your novel going? / [[Girl is driving a scooter. Cat sits behind her.]] / Girl: I'm dissatisfied with them form. / Girl: I don't like culture I can't engage with. / Cat: And you're sure you're old enough to drive. / Girl: Do you think it's possible for a novel to create a dialogue with its audience? / Girl: Live music works because both performer and audience can change in response to the other. / Girl: Movies can at least see audience response, even if they can't respond to it. / Cat: eep. / Girl: But how can printed matter interact meaningfully with its readers? / Cat: You're driving dangerously close to metacommentary. / Girl: I know where I'm going. / [[Girl's bumper sticker says "My Other Car is a Pynchon Novel."]]|
|Cat makes Lunch||[[Cat sits at a table holding a sandwich. He is imagining himself eating the sandwich.]] / [[He holds the sandwich up to his mouth.]]
|The Creation of Cat and Girl: Part 1||[[A photograph of a woman sorting through cards.]] / [[Beakers and flasks and tubes.]] / [[A man checks up on giant rolling spindles.]] / [[A map of the United States is studded with lights.]] / [[A man draws out plans while sitting on a giant piece of paper.]] / [[A woman is putting rats under a microscope.]] / [[A man makes a phone call from a complicated piece of machinery.]] / Cat: Isn't that how sausage is made? / Girl: Same basic machinery.|
|The Creation of Cat and Girl: Part 2||[[The ocean.]] / [[The sun is rising.]] / [[Girl comes to shore on the back of a turtle.]] / [[She walks onto the beach.]] / [[A fish is caught in one of her socks.]] / Fish: 3 / [[Girl has an idea.]] / [[A shack on chicken feet runs toward Girl, a hammer in its hand.]] / [[The hammer comes down on Girl's head.]] / [[Girls head splits open and a hand emerges.]] / [[Cat crawls out of Girl's head.]] / [[Cat wipes off his goggles.]] / [[Cat and Girl sit at a table.]] / Girl: You're out of your mind. / Cat: I'm out of your mind.|
|The Creation of Cat and Girl: Part 3||[[Cat and Girl are seated in an airplane.]] / [[A fire erupts at the back of the plane.]] / [[Cat and Girl throw their hands up.]] / <
|Girl's Class Reunion||Girl: Sigh. / Cat: How'd the reunion go? / Girl: Well... / Classmate: I started at Citibank just out of Kindergarten. / Classmate: I'm attending a pre-med elementary school. / Classmate: You like this? My boyfriend got it for me. / Classmate: What are you doing? / Girl: I, uh, went to see the world's largest Ceasar salad. / Classmate: Any plans for the summer? / Classmate: I might take a day off in July and reorganize my closet. / Classmate: I was thinking of going to the Hamptons and reorganizing a closet there. / [[Girl huddles in a blanket, holding an empty mug.]] / Girl: They're so deadened to the world that life makes sense to them. / Girl: I've never felt so road less traveled. / [[Cat pours tea into Girl's mug.]] / Girl: Sign. / Girl: I don't know. / Cat: You need a drink. / Girl: I need a drink.|
|Cat and Girl name the Band||[[Grrrl holds a guitar and Girl has a drum. Cat has fallen asleep next to his keyboard.]] / Girl: The Low Numbers? / Grrrl: The Monopods? / Cat: Cheesequake. / Girl: The Dead Wrongs? / Grrrl: The Right Turns? / Cat: ...Cheesequake... / Girl: Slim and the Chances? / Grrrl: Straight and the Narrows? / Cat: ...cheeeeesequaaaake... / Girl: The Elastic Snaps? / Grrrl: The Elastic Snaps. / Cat: huh? / Grrrl: I like it. / Cat: I just had the most wonderful dream.|
|Cat and Girl versus the Fourth Wall||<
|Cat and Girl sell Babies for Profit||[[Cat holds up a baby, a large stamp in his other hand. Girl is looking through a box of identical babies.]] / Girl: Do you ever think about the ethical issues? / [[Cat looks over at her.]] / Cat: If selling babies for profit is wrong, I don't want to be right. / [[Cat places the baby on a giant pile of babies.]] / Girl: But we don't really need this money. / Cat: Do you want to go to a state college? / [[Girl considers.]] / [[She hands Cat another baby.]] / Girl: Shut up and pass the babies. / Cat: I didn't think so.|
|Frederick Wiseman presents Cat and Girl||[[Cat and Girl consider a Parcheesi board.]] / Cat: Did you feel kinda sick this morning? / [[Cat and Girl consider a Parcheesi board.]] / Girl: We probably should have boiled those potatoes longer. / [[Cat and Girl consider a Parcheesi board.]] / [[Girl rolls the dice.]] / [[Cat and Girl consider a Parcheesi board.]] / Girl: Well, this is about as much fun as reading Proust. Is anything on TV?|
|Death visits Cat and Girl||[[Girl sits on the kitchen floor dangling a piece of string in front of a cat.]] / [[Cat comes in for coffee.]] / Cat: Oh - you're still here? / Girl: I put an ad in the paper. No one's claimed her yet. / [[Girl holds the cat.]] / <
|Cat and Girl learn the True Meaning of Winter||[[Snow! Cat and Girl run outside. Cat carries a toboggan.]] / [[Girl makes a snowman who looks like Cat. Cat frowns.]] / [[Cat and Girl shovel their driveway.]] / [[Girl makes a snow angel while Cat pees his name in the snow.]] / [[Cat and Girl have built snow forts.]] / [[Girl throws a snowball at cat.]] / Cat: It's really cold outside.|
|Cat and Girl hit the Big Time||[[Cat, Girl and Grrrl have band practice in a garage.]] / Cat: I wanna see The Elastic Snaps in letters four feet tall. / Grrrl: 1, 2, 3, 4! / Grrrl: I said I wanna go to / Grrrl: Atlantis, lost to history / Beatnik Vampire: Hey, that sounds pretty cool. / Death: Neat! / [[A crowd gathers.]] / Grrrl: I said why don't you show me / Grrrl: to where the fauna frolic free / Beatnik Vampire: Sellouts. / Grrrl: But they took me to Seaworld / Girl: Eating paint can kill you. / Cat: I don't have a problem. / Grrrl: I can't work like this. / Girl: This band is over. / Cat: I quit. / [[The crowd leaves.]] / Grrrl: Reunion tour? / Cat: I wanna see The Elastic Starship in letters four feet tall.|
|Cat and Girl meet the Other||[[Girl opens her front door. A short blob of matter sits on her doorstep.]] / Girl: Can I help you? / Other: You crazy mammals! / Cat: Hey, it's the Other! / Girl: The Other? / Other: You sassy bipeds! / Cat: We went to school together. / Other: I'll never understand you omnivores. / Girl: You didn't go to school. / Cat: Did I say school? I meant jail. / Girl: Does it do anything besides react? / Other: Aaaaaaaaah! / [[The Other melts into a puddle.]] / Cat: I picked the wrong day to wear felt shoes. / Other: Gah.|
|Cat and Girl's Final Televised Concert||Girl: ...and we'll be visited by some of our old favorites - Boy, Dog, Grrrl, Bea Arthur - / [[Cat comes form behind a curtain wearing a straw hat and holding a cigar in his mouth.]] / Cat: Hey, Girl! I just bought a baseball team. / Girl: I didn't know you liked baseball. / Cat: Don't you want to know who's on the team? / Girl: Yeah, I guess so. / Cat: Ask me who's on first. / Girl: Who's on first? / Cat: Joseph Beuys. / Girl: Hoo's on... / Cat: Joseph Beuys. / Girl: I know that. You're telling the joke wrong. / Cat: That's what it says on my cards. / Girl: Who wrote those? This material is terrible. / Cat: They handed me these cards. / Girl: Forget it. If you want me I'll be in my trailer. / [[Cat stands alone on stage.]] / Cat: Memories / Cat: ...light the corners of my mind... / Audience member: I can't believe you wasted five dollars on these seats.|
|Cat puts things in his Pipe and Smokes Them||[[Cat walks outside smoking his pipe.]] / [[He puts a flower in his pipe.]] / [[He puts a newspaper in his pipe.]] / [[He gets a hot dog from a stand and puts that in his pipe, adding some mustard to it.]] / [[He puts the hot dog stand's umbrella in his pipe. A crowd begins to gather.]] / [[Cat puts a beatnik's beret into his pipe.]] / [[Cat puts Magritte's "The Treachery of Images" in his pipe.]] / [[Cat puts a crying baby in his pipe.]] / [[Cat is at home with Girl.]] / Cat: And then the police came and they let me pee into a cup!|
|Cat and Girl and the 4 Cheerleaders of the Apocalypse||[[Cat and Girl sit in the bleachers. Girl holds a pennant and Cat eats a hot dog.]] / [[They are surrounded by insects.]] / [[Frogs rain down on them.]] / Cheerleaders: Alright! Let's Go! / Cheerleader: We're not losers we're not sore! Let's fight alright this is war! / Cheerleader: Nothing really satisfies like when the opposing quarterback dies! / Cheerleader: Scramble hard! Scramble quick! Kick their asses till they're sick! / Cheerleader: Play football like you're Brett Favre! Beat them back and starve starve starve! / Cheerleaders: Woooooooo! / [[The Marching Band of the Apocalypse plays.]] / Cheerleader: Fight! / Cheerleader: Kill! / Cheerleader: I never should've given it up. / Cheerleader: Half a tic tac?|
|Cat and Girl versus Nostalgia||[[Cat and Girl walk up out of a subway exit.]]
/ Girl: The city seems dirtier than usual. / [[They look around.]]
/ Cat: Oh no, not again.
/ Girl: You don't think - / <
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