You're browsing the archives of Cat and Girl.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Cat and Girl get All Mixed Up | [[Girl.]] / [[Girl begins to waver.]] / [[Her image deteriorates.]]
/ Girl: Cat? / [[Girl rides a carousel horse through a sky full of bubbles.]]
/ Girl: What's... / [[She's further away. A fan occupies the foreground.]]
/ Girl: ... going ... / [[She floats by bagpipers.]]
/ Girl: ...on? / [[Cat and Girl stand at a counter.]]
/ Cat: I think I drank the wrong beaker again.
/ Girl: I told you to label them. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1584 |
| Cat and Girl versus the Printed Word | [[Girl sits on the floor reading a book.]]
/ Cat: Whatcha reading?
/ Girl: Howl. / Cat: HOWL?!? / [[Cat stomps on the book.]]
/ Cat: Stupid snot-nosed beatniks...
/ Girl: Hey! / [[Cat stabs the book with a knife.]]
/ Cat: ...dirty counter-culture peacemongers!
/ Girl: That book belongs to the library! / [[Beatnik Vampire appears.]]
/ Vampire: Watch what you say about the beats, man.
/ Cat: Eh? / [[The Beatnik Vampire is flanked by two friends.]]
/ Cat: Beatnik Vampires! / [[Cat puts his dukes up.]]
/ Cat: I'm not afraid of you! / Vampire: Relax, man... / Vampire: We're here to pick up our casserole dish.
/ [[Girl hands it up to him]]
/ Girl: I washed it out for you.
/ Vampire: Hey, thanks. / Vampire: See you at the next book club potluck.
/ Girl: You bet!
/ [[They leave.]] / [[Cat's stabbing another book with a sword.]]
/ Girl: Cat! Stop destroying my phone book!
/ Cat: Augh! http://catandgirl.com/?p=1586 |
| Cat and Girl are Highly Derivative | [[Cat, who has Garfield's body, sits on a table smoking a pipe and staring at Girl. Girl is staring at her lasagna.]] / [[Cat continues to stare at Girl, who stares at her lasagna.]] / Cat: Mmmm, lasagna.
/ Girl: What? / Cat: I said mmmm, lasagna.
/ Girl: Are you making fun of me? / Cat: I thought the lasagna looked tasty.
/ Girl: If you want any you just have to ask. / Cat: Where did my pants go?
/ Girl: I don't know what's wrong with you. / Cat: Someone please release me from this mindless hell.
/ Girl: That's it - I'm going to the library. / [[Cat wakes up in bed, still smoking a pipe, with Girl beside him.]]
/ Cat: What a nightmare! I should not have eaten that welsh rarebit just before sleeping.
/ Girl: Or my paste. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1588 |
| Cat and Girl find The Teddybear Picnic | Cat: ssshhhhhhhh / [[Cat and Girl peer over a bush. Some teddybears are having a picnic.]] / Girl: So the stories are true! The teddybear picnic is real! What do we do now? / Cat: We beat the crap out of them. / Girl: What?!?
/ Cat: Sshhh - It'll be really funny! / Cat: Remember when the snuggle bear was run over by that tank twice? Or when the sun on the citrus drink chased the family around the house and had to be killed? Or when the milk got lost and suffered in that Blur video? / Girl: It doesn't sound funny to me.
/ Cat: But TV says it's funny! / Girl: You're sick. I'm leaving.
/ Cat: Fine, go. / [[Two teddybears run towards Cat.]]
/ Cat: Ummm... Girl? / [[Cat is on the ground, the pipe knocked out of his mouth. One holds the pointy end of an umbrella against his back.The other leans in right above Cat's face.]]
/ Teddybear: We'll show you funny.
/ Teddybear: Who's laughing now, huh? http://catandgirl.com/?p=1590 |
| Cat and Girl are Girl and Cat | [[A skull sits on a barrel emitting rays of light. Cat and Girl shield their eyes.]]
/ Cat: Oh, no.
/ Girl: You've angered the magic voodoo skull. / Cat: Now I possess the body of Cat, but the consciousness of Girl.
/ Girl: And I the same, only vice-versa. / Cat and Girl: What craziness will result. / Girl: I'm going to do something incredibly stupid and violent. / Girl: Oh, look at me. I drank the wrong beaker.
/ Cat: Yeah, well, I'm going to go read a book or something. / Girl: I'm going out of your mind!
/ Cat: I'm sweet on David Foster Wallace. / Girl: Oops! I killed the wrong person again!
/ Cat: I think he's dreamy! / Girl: The therapist said role-playing would help us work out our hostility issues.
/ Cat: If you love him so much, why don't you marry him? http://catandgirl.com/?p=1592 |
| Meet the Cast of Cat and Girl | {{Cat}}
/ [[Cat is upside-down.]]
/ Cat: Will somebody please unglue me? / {{Girl}}
/ Girl: Some people say I look like Parker Posey. / {{Dog}}
/ Dog (to itself): Kill. / {{Boy}}
/ Boy: If I stand perfectly still she won't know what an idiot I am. / {{a Beatnik Vampire}}
/ Vampire: Hey - just like Shadow Stevens! / {{an International Army comprised solely of Bees}}
/ Bees: < http://catandgirl.com/?p=1594 |
| Celebrating a Century of Cat and Girl | Sad Clown: Well... I guess I could draw myself some friends.
/ ...and so a legend was born! / 1900
/ [[Cat and Girl are stick figures.]]
/ Girl: Stop gadding about like you're Stanford White!
/ Cat: Meow! / 1910
/ Girl: Where did my dishes go?
/ Cat: I threw them at the Suffragettes. / 1920
/ Girl: We're going to miss the Follies!
/ Cat: Can't you see I'm enthralled by the newly invented pop-up toaster? / 1930
/ Cat: It's the WPA - look depressed. / 1940
/ Cat: Do you think I'm getting shorter?
/ Girl: Buy war bonds! / 1950
/ Cat: Babalou!
/ Girl: OK, sure. I'm leaving now. / 1960
/ [[Cat and Girl dance.]] / 1970
/ Girl: We're going to miss Star Wars!
/ Cat: Can't you see I'm enthralled by the newly invented Atari? / 1980
/ [[Cat and Girl are dressed as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.]]
/ Girl: Well, it beats the Cabbage Patch Kid phase.
/ Cat: In retrospect, the Xavier Roberts tattoo was a bad idea. / 1990
/ Cat: Finally - the internet has rendered the toaster obsolete!
/ Girl: Give it back! / [[Cat and Girl float in space.]]
/ Girl: Too bad the apocalypse killed 99.44% of the earth's population.
/ Cat: Shut up and drink your tang.
/ and beyond! http://catandgirl.com/?p=1596 |
| Cat and Girl are Fanfic | {{The cartoon is particularly poorly drawn.}}
/ Cat: What a boring day.
/ Girl: Ho-hum. / [[A monster appears!]]
/ Monster: BLARGH!!!! / Girl: Oh no it is a terrible monster.
/ Cat: This is worse than the time I was attacked by Zombie Joseph Beuys. / Cat: My powers are useless.
/ Girl: The end is near. / [[A man appears in the sky!]]
/ Man: Hello Cat and Girl I will save you. / [[The man kicks the monster. Girl is smittedn.]]
/ Monster: Ow
/ Girl: My hero. / Cat: Will you come to my birthday party?
/ Man: OK that would be nice.
/ Girl: Your shoes are pretty. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1598 |
| Cat and Girl discuss Virginia Woolf's The Waves | [[Cat, Beatnik Vampire, and Girl sit around a table with a book.]]
/ Cat: I mourn the loss of Percival. I mourn loss.
/ Beatnik Vampire: I am Bernard. I create. Percival is my foil, balancing my tendency to float away. / Girl: Am I Rhoda? Am I broken into separate pieces - do I no longer exist? / Beatnik Vampire: But we must consider...
/ Girl: I am Susan. I am the field. I am the barn. I am ink and I am newsprint. / Girl: Now the stiffness has gone from my smile. I awake. O, Death! / Beatnik Vampire: excuse me.
/ [[Beatnik Vampire leaves the table.]] / [[Cat and Girl look shocked and dismayed.]] / [[The Beatnik Vampire returns, blood trickling down his chin.]]
/ Cat: Was that David Arquette?
/ Girl: You got blood all over the new carpet. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1600 |
| Cat and Girl versus the Abandoned House | [[Cat and Girl walk along. Cat spies a boarded-up house on a hill.]]
/ Cat: A-ha! / [[Cat and Girl run up the hill.]] / [[Cat kicks in the door while Girl climbs up to a window.]] / [[Cat spraypaints his name on a wall.]] / [[Girl is smashing a lamp with a sledgehammer while Cat breaks the water pipes with his teeth.]] / [[View from below as Girl rips up the floorboards with an axe.]] / [[Cat and Girl fire guns at a wall.]] / [[Cat runs out the door as Girl lights a small bundle of dynamite.]] / < http://catandgirl.com/?p=1602 |
| Cat and Girl versus Modern Art | [[Cat lights his pipe. Girl eats a lollipop.]] / [[Behind them, Matisse's Blue Nude II peels out of its frame and heads toward them.]] / [[Cat throws a throwing star at it.]]
/ Cat: Let's see if your innovative use of color can save you now! / [[Cat punches one of Picasso's cubist paintings.]] / [[Girl attacks Dali's The Persistence of Memory.]] / [[Cat rages at a Pollock painting.]]
/ Cat: My four year old could paint this! / [[Cat exchanges gunfire with one of Warhol's Elvis paintings.]] / [[Cat is about to sit in a chair.]]
/ Girl: Cat! Look out! / [[Cat sits down in the lard covering the chair's seat.]]
/ Cat: Gahhh!
/ Girl: That chair - it's art. "Fat Chair"... Joseph Beuys.
/ Cat: "Fat Chair?"!?! / Cat: I'll kill you Joseph Beuys!
/ Girl: It says he's dead.
/ Cat: Then I'll kill your family! http://catandgirl.com/?p=1604 |
| Cat and Girl see Death at Denny's | [[Cat and Girl are at a restaurant reading their menus.]]
/ Girl: Oh my god! Cat - look! / [[Cat and Girl stare. The waitress leaves their table.]] / Cat: Is it? is it really him?
/ Girl: Oh my god! It is! It is! / Cat: It's Death! It's really Death!
/ Girl: I can't believe he's eating at our Denny's!
/ [[Death sits alone about to cut into a stack of pancakes.]] / Cat: Go up to him! Go up and ask!
/ Girl: You go up first! / Cat: He's leaving!
/ Girl: Quick - say something! / Cat: I love your work!
/ Girl: He'll think were idiots! / Cat: Do you think he saw us?
/ Girl: He is so cool.
/ Waitress: Who ordered the Elgin waffles? http://catandgirl.com/?p=1606 |
| Cat and Girl search for the Real America | [[Cat and Girl drive around in a convertible car.]] / [[Cat and Girl fly through a city in a hot air balloon. Cat sits in the basket looking through a telescope. Girl is street level, upside-down, attached to the balloon via the rope tied to her foot and buying a bagel from a street vendor.]] / [[Cat and Girl visit the Big Duck.]] / [[Cat and Girl sit at a diner. Cat drinks a shake and Girl eats a burger and fries. A jukebox plays music. People line dance.]] / [[Cat and Girl ride horses past a southwest landscape as the suns sets.]] / [[Girl sits on the couch watching television while Cat checks under the couch cushions.]]
/ Cat: I think I just found it.
/ Girl: No, that's a spoon. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1608 |
| Cat and Girl versus an International Army Comprised Solely of Bees | [[Cat and Girl are walking outdoors in a grassy park. Girl holds a picnic basket.]]
/ Girl: Here?
/ Cat: O.K. / [[Girl spreads a blanket for the picnic while Cat begins removing food from the basket.]] / [[Girl opens a jar while Cat considers a sandwich.]]
/ Girl: You know, I can speak six languages.
/ Cat: Did you bring the mustard? / Girl: English, French...
/ Cat: I can't find the mustard. / [[ A beehive.]] / [[The beehive hangs from a nearby tree.]]
/ Girl: ...Spanish, Russian.
/ Cat: Oh. Here it is. Where are the forks? / [[The bees swarm out from the hive.]]
/ Girl: ... Japanese and Yiddish.
/ Cat: I guess I forgot to pack the forks. / Girl: You've got a bee on your shoulder.
/ Cat: Oh? / [[Cat and Girl are surrounded by a cloud of bees.]]
/ Girl: Ow.
/ Cat: Help! http://catandgirl.com/?p=1610 |
| Cat and Girl live La Vida Loca | [[Girl is talking on the telephone.]]
/ Girl: Well, I guess I'm into superstition... / [[Girl's room is filled with strange, spooky things - a skull, a mummy, a spider and a big portrait of Ricky Martin.]]
/ Girl: Black cats, voodoo dolls... that sort of thing. / [[Cat is talking on the phone.]]
/ Cat: How'd you like to meet in New York City in a funky cheap hotel? / [[Cat and Girl are in a hotel. Cat drinks champagne from the bottle.]]
/ Girl: What is this, sewer water? I can't drink this.
/ Cat: Champagne? / Cat: Can I take my clothes off and go dancing in the rain?
/ Girl: OK, but nobody's making you. / [[Cat is outside dancing.]]
/ Girl: I must slip him a sleeping pill.
/ [[She puts a pill in the champagne bottle.]] / [[Cat chugs some champagne.]] / < http://catandgirl.com/?p=1612 |
| Cat and Girl Sell Out | [[Girl reads a book, a cup of coffee by her side.]] / Cat: Do we have any chewing tobacco?
/ Girl: Check the cupboard. / Cat: Where's our electronic scoreboard?
/ Girl: In the garage next to your ice skates. / [[Girl looks up.]] / Girl: Cat, why do you have a baseball bat?
/ [[Cat prepares to hit a ball off a tee.]]
/ Cat: I have always had an interest in professional minor league baseball. / Girl: No you haven't. / Girl: Maybe there's a house to smash somewhere?
/ [[Cat tosses the ball to himself.]]
/ Cat: no no no. / [[The baseball lands in Girl's coffee.]]
/ Girl: Oh... I get it. / Girl: Actually, I did have a few questions about "Limbo..."
/ Cat: Love me, George Steinbrenner! http://catandgirl.com/?p=1614 |
| Gang of Five | [[Cat is sitting in front of the television.]]
/ Cat: Hurry up! It's starting! / [[Girl enters]]
/ Cat: See the old factory is being HAUNTED by GHOSTS - / Cat: But watch out! / Cat: Here comes the VELVET UNDERGROUND! / Cat: They drive around in a an and solve mysteries. / Girl: That's not the Velvet Underground.
/ Cat: RUN Nico RUN! / Cat: I can't watch.
/ Girl: That's not Nico.
/ Cat: Oh! / Cat: The ghosts weren't real! They're just helium-filled silver mylar balloons. / Cat: You can't trick us old man Warhol!
/ Girl: That's NOT- / Girl: Oh. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1616 |
| When You Wish | Grrrl: What do you want?
/ Boy: Underpants. / Boy: Gift cards to Dollar General. / Boy: It's better to not be disappointed. / Grrrl: You HAVE to believe in the impossible! / Grrrl: Everything in the WORLD belongs to people with MONEY and POWER and CONNECTIONS and FAME. / Grrrl: But the impossible is OURS. It's all we've got! / [[A shooting star streaks across the sky.]] / Grrrl: Did you see that? / Grrrl: Now we owe the Disney corporation twelve thousand dollars. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1657 |
| Guilty Pleasures | Cat: I like vampire fiction. / Girl: The "Vows" column?
/ Cat: IRONICALLY! / Cat: I like dance pop ironically. I like corn dogs ironically. / Cat: I like wine coolers ironically.
/ Girl: AAAUGHHH! / Girl: Irony isn't just some cheap way to say you like something but are afraid to admit it! / Girl: Irony is when WORDS and MEANING differ! / [[Cat and Girl stare at one another, angry.]] / Cat: I ENJOY spending TIME with you. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1659 |
| Grrrl's Scouting | Grrrl: Cookies! Anyone want to buy cookies? / Grrrl: They're kind of kitschy... / Girl: I didn't know you were a Hipster Scout.
/ Grrrl: Yeah, it's fun. We do crafts and stuff. / Cat: What kind of badges are those? / Grrrl: Well, this is my "in a band" badge. / Grrrl: This one's for zines. / Grrrl: And this means I own Tigermilk. / Girl: Don't you think it's kind of silly that Hipster Scouts pride themselves on originality while collecting status badges and wearing uniforms? / Cat: Do you have any cookies that are chocolate? http://catandgirl.com/?p=1661 |
| Secret Handshakes | Girl: The self-selected cultural elite used to be a big deal.
/ Cat: Oh yeah! / Girl: Back when there was a "high culture"
/ Cat: I used to go to their parade every year. / Girl: But now for every Velvet Underground where critical success precedes popularity there's a Monkees and a Spice Girls and a Judas Priest and a Katy Perry. / Girl: Popularity is the mark of future critical success - and not the other way around. / Girl: Leaving the self-selected cultural elite always twenty years behind everyone else. / Girl: Just another dying secret society with conspiracy theories about the dollar bill and funny hats. / [[Grrrl and the Beatnik Vampire sit at a bar.]] / [[Cat and Girl join them.]]
/ Cat: This is the meeting?
/ Vampire: Yeah. / Cat: Why bother?
/ Vampire: Free peanuts.
/ Grrrl: My landlord turned off the heat. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1663 |
| Hot Topic | [[Girl and the Beatnik Vampire sit outside a cafe reading newspapers.]]
/ Vampire: Oh man oh man check it out / Vampire: Vampires are COOL. / Vampire: Vampires are COOL again I KNEW this would happen I just had to wait oh man / [[The Beatnik Vampire stands up.]]
/ Vampire: VAMPIRES are COOL. I'm going to the mall! / [[He leaves. Girl smiles.]] / [[She looks down at her newspaper.]] / [[She reads.]] / [[The Beatnik Vampire is back.]] / Vampire: I guess OLD vampires don't COUNT. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1690 |
| Pin the Tail | [[Cat ties a blindfold around Girl's eyes.]]
/ Girl: Are we playing Blind Man's Bluff? / Girl: Are we playing Marco Polo? / Cat: It's a surprise.
/ Girl: Are we playing Firing Squad? / Cat: Come on.
/ Girl: I can't see anything! / [[Girl walks to the left.]] / [[She wobbles back to the right.]] / [[She stands still, head lowered.]] / Girl: I don't know how Justice does it.
/ Cat: I think she peeks. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1693 |
| Flushing Meadows-Corona Park | [[Cat and Girl are in a hallway. Girl is wearing a blindfold.]]
/ Cat: It's something you've always wanted
/ Girl: Low-cost preventative health care? / Girl: Reasonable limits on copyright? / Girl: A high-speed nationwide rail network? / [[Cat takes Girl by the shoulder...]] / [[...and guides her into a room, where she prepares to remove her blindfold.]] / [[Girl looks in cautious expectation.]] / [[Cat looks expectant as girl exclaims, ]]
/ Girl: A ping-pong table! / [[A tiny raised chair can be seen beside the regulation-sized ping-pong net.]]
/ Girl: What's that?
/ Cat: That's where the umpire sits. / [[Cat looks smug, while Girl looks annoyed. A tiny blimp floats across the net.]] http://catandgirl.com/?p=1696 |
| Family Plan | Cat: What do you want for Christmas? / Girl: Legitimacy in the eyes of society. / Cat: A blackberry?
/ Girl: Close enough. / Girl: Vows of austerity are for people who believe in things.
/ Cat: I don't think I have enough-- / Girl: And I've wasted so much time.
/ Cat: But we can make our own! / Girl: If my life's going to be meaningless it might as well be comfortable!
/ Cat: We just need cups and string. / [[Cat and Girl are holding cups to their ears, connected by a string.]]
/ Girl: It's not the same.
/ Cat: Hello? Hello? I'm in the yard. / Girl: I can only talk to you.
/ Cat: Who else do you call? http://catandgirl.com/?p=1700 |
| Scientific Method | [[Cat and Girl play ping-pong.]]
/ < http://catandgirl.com/?p=1702 |
| Scientific Method | [[ Cat and Girl play table tennis over the first 4 panels ]]
/ < http://catandgirl.com/?p=1702#respond |
| Mixed Company | [[Christmas. A decorated tree is in the corner. Three stockings hang on the fireplace - "Cat," Girl," and "Also Cat."]]
/ Girl: Halls?
/ Cat: Decked.
/ Girl: Tree?
/ Cat: Trimmed. / [[Cat and Girl sit down to a large dinner.]]
/ Girl: Economy?
/ Cat: No match for one day of beautiful delusion! / Cat: What now?
/ Girl: Don't you ever wish for a family? / Cat: No. Yes! Family's not who you're related to. / Cat: It's who you care about and who cares about you. / [[Cat puts his arm around Girl.]]
/ Cat: I'm your family and you're mine! / [[Cat and Girl smile.]] / [[Cat and Girl turn away from each other, miserable.]] http://catandgirl.com/?p=1704 |
| Untouchables | [[Girl walking down a street alone.]] / [[Girl meets Cat on the street.]]
/ Girl: You know what's the most disgusting thing in the world? / Cat: A cracked eggshell with a clump of hair inside.
/ Girl: I – / [[Girl and Cat stare at each other.]] / Girl: I was going to say war profiteering but that takes it. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1708 |
| In Time | [[Boy gets elbowed on his way into a building.]] / [[Boy can't find money to pay for his burger and soda.]] / [[Boy walks down the street trailing toilet paper.]] / [[Boy argues about a baseball game.]] / [[Boy is about to dig into a cake. Girl stands behind him, scowling.]] / [[Boy sits at a computer, angry.]] / [[Boy elbows someone else out of the way on his way into a building.]] / [[Boy shakes in his bed.]] / [[Boy stands alone under the night sky.]] / Cat: What are you doing / Cat: sitting here all by yourself
/ Boy: I wish I was dead. / Cat: lonely as an Italian feminist.
/ Boy: NO / Boy: Even when you're dead your memory lives on in those who knew you. / [[Cat smiles.]] / [[Boy closes his eyes.]] / Boy: I wish I was dead and everyone who had ever met me was dead too.
/ Cat: Granted! http://catandgirl.com/?p=1710 |
| In Time | [[Boy gets elbowed by another kid.]] / [[Boy searches his pockets for money for his burger and drink.]] / [[Boy has toilet paper stuck on his shoe.]] / [[Boy argues with another kid at a baseball game.]] / [[Boy is about to dig into a cake with a fork. Girl looks on, angry.]] / [[Boy sits at his computer, angry.]] / [[Boy elbows another kid.]] / [[Boy lies in bed shaking.]] / [[Boy stands alone at night.]] / Cat: What are you doing / Cat: standing here all by yourself
/ Boy: I wish I was dead. / Cat: lonely as an Italian feminist
/ Boy: NO. / Boy: Even when you're dead your memory lives on in those who knew you. / [[Cat smiles.]] / [[Cat frowns. Boy closes his eyes.]] / Boy: I wish i was dead and everyone who had ever met me was dead too.
/ Cat: Granted! http://catandgirl.com/?p=1710#comments |
| Happy Together | [[Girl is frowning, while looking at a picture of Cat and her together, smiling.]] / [[Girl is frowning, while looking at several vacation pictures of Cat and her together.]] / [[Girl looks away from the pictures and puts her hand to her chin pensively.]] / Girl [[to Cat]]: Do you believe in serial monogamy?
/ Cat: I like Captain Crunch. / Cat: But not that much. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1716 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 >>