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| Paging Doctor Godot | [[A doctor's office. Girl is dressed like a doctor.] / Girl: Tongue? / Grrrl: Aaaaaah. / Girl: Eyes. / Grrrl: < |
| Paging Doctor Godot | [[Girl and Grrrl are in a doctor's office, with Girl as the doctor and Grrrl as the patient.]] / Girl: Tongue? / Grrrl: Aaaaaah. / Girl: Eyes. / Grrrl: < |
| Table Service | [[Inside a bar, Beatnik Vampire is sitting glumly, beer in hand.]] / [[Girl approaches, dressed as bartender, with towel on arm. Second beer appears.]]
/ Girl: How do you stay warm in the cold shadow of death? / Girl: Do you create?
/ Vampire: Create! / Vampire: The world is full of stuff. / Vampire: And look at all the books already written! Look at the movies already made! / Vampire: Am I going to make something better than that? Of course not! / Vampire: Do I create? No! I do the world a favor and keep my ideas to myself! / [[Silent frame, Girl frowns at Vampire, Vampire has stubborn, defiant expression]] / Girl: So how do you stay warm in the cold shadow of death?
/ Vampire: I collect records. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1736 |
| Crossing Guard | [[Girl looks serious, wearing a vest like a crossing guard and holding a STOP sign]] / < http://catandgirl.com/?p=1743 |
| Crossing Guard | [[Girl looks serious, wearing a vest like a crossing guard and holding a STOP sign]] / < http://catandgirl.com/?p=1743 |
| Unfair Advantage | Girl: Sometimes when I visit a new place I play this game / Girl: where if more people ask ME for directions than I ask for directions I win. / Girl: Sometimes I play a game where I divide the cost of every item I'm wearing by the number of times I've worn it / Girl: and if it adds up to under two dollars I win! / Girl: Sometimes I play a game where if people know more about ME than I know about THEM I win. / Cat: Do you win a lot?
/ Girl: There are some games you lose just by playing. / Cat: Slots. / Cat: "I Never." / Cat: Russian Roulette. / Cat: Hungry, HUNGRY Hippos. / Girl: They're just plastic hippos! / [[Cat's hand has been replaced by a hook.]]
/ Cat: Maybe the way YOU play. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1750 |
| The Size of it All | [[Girl and Grrrl look up at the starry sky.]] / Girl: The vast perfect emptiness of space. / Girl: What can we offer it but our imperfection? / [[Girl and Grrrl stare up at the giant sky, alone in the world.]] / Grrrl: Maybe I should learn to knit. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1753 |
| Currents | Cat: Things are gonna turn around. / Cat: Things are gonna turn around! / Cat: Things are gonna turn around. / Cat: Things are GONNA turn around! / Cat: THINGS ARE GONNA TURN AROUND. / [[Cat and Girl are in a rowboat about to head over a waterfall.]]
/ Cat: Things are gonna turn around!
/ Girl: Maybe just enjoy the ride. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1757 |
| All or Nothing | [[Cat and Girl walking to the top of a hill]] / Girl: There's no Muji here / [[Cat looking at a map]]
/ Cat: It's on my upside-down map.
/ Girl: I wish we had an iPhone /
/ Cat: So get an iPhone.
/ Girl: That doesn't help! / Girl: When I desire things it doesn't matter how much I have / Girl: I could be looking at high end audio systems, or flip-flops. I could be sitting on the bus dreaming about a tuna fish sandwich. / Girl: There is no magic line that you cross and suddenly, you have enough stuff forever. / Girl: The only way we can be satisfied with what we have to learn to want nothing. / Girl: But isn't wanting nothing giving up on life? /
/ Girl: I want a hug.
/ Cat: No you don't. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1774 |
| Cat and Girl ? Archive ? Getting out of bed is hard enough. | What I did today instead of drawing "Cat and Girl" / I also washed cat puke off my pants http://catandgirl.com/?p=1778 |
| Looks Good to Me | Girl: Is perfection attainable? / Girl: Or is it a Utopian byword for all those things we dream of but never reach? / Grrrl: Who wants to be PERFECT? / Grrrl: Loop some drums in Garageband - auto color balance your photos - PERFECT! / Grrrl: Perfection is professional - transparent - inhuman. Perfect means GOOD but it's never meant WORTHWHILE. / Grrrl: Perfect is EASY - IMPERFECT is the new desirable! / Grrrl: We live in a time of ragged edges. Welcome our new aesthetic overlords! / Girl: Not everything needs a poorly silkscreened picture of a bird on it.
/ Grrrl: If you need me I will be listening to tape hiss in my room. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1783 |
| A History of Cinema | Grrl: An aesthetic of imperfection shows the hand of the creator in the finished product.
/ Girl: Yeah. Like literally. *Whoop* In the shot again.
/ Grrl: Incompetence is *part* of it, *sure* -
/ Grrl: Ed Wood tried to succeed by mainstream standards and failed- but he developed an incompetence so individual that we celebrate it today.
/ Grrl: And as movies developed outside the mainstream, incompetence was recognized as its own craft.
/ Grrl: So that flat acting, stunt casting and exploitation - used *purposefully and aimed towards an *underground* audience - could make the career of John Waters.
/ Grrl: And time passed, and amateur movies met the technology to look more like professional movies - and professional movies sought authenticity by looking more like amateur movies - until an *amateur* movie used the authenticity of incompetence to become a *mainstream success - the *Blair Witch Project*.
/ Girl: The *Blair Witch Project*?
/ Grrl: Nothing ages faster than realism. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1793 |
| Times New Viking | [[Girl and Grrrl stand talking outside at night]] / Girl: Battle perfection with incompetence? / [[Girl imagines a fully-armored, horsed knight preparing to joust with a naked knight who's just fallen off of his horse.]] / Girl: Doesn't sound like a fair fight.
/ Grrrl: There in INCOMPETENCE, and then there is HONEST IMPERFECTION. / Grrl [[irritated]]: The irregularities a hand-knit scarf has that a machine-made scarf does not. / Grrrl [[excited]]: The irregularities of a typewritten page -- or a poster photocopied too many times. / Grrrl: work done faithfully towards a standard of competence the world does not share. / Girl: As opposed to
/ Grrrl: Faux-distressed computer fonts
/ Girl the key parties of the nineties.
/ Grrrl: I have nothing but regret. / Girl: But typewritten text WAS a standard of mainstream perfection once / Girl: As was letterpress -- dot matrix -- heck, CALLIGRAPHY -- / Girl: Only with their OBSOLESCENCE did they become IMPERFECT -- stylistic quirks for those wishing to distance themselves from mainstream standards of perfection in the EASIEST way possible!
/ Grrrl: SO? We should all FALL IN LINE behind DIGITAL COMPETENCE? / [[Boy enters scene; Girl and Grrrl turn to look.]] / Girl: We were talking about perfection.
/ Boy: that has never been a problem for me. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1794 |
| The Horrible Ephemeral Nature of it All | [[Cat and Girl eat popcorn out of a bag]]
/ Girl: One left. / [[Cat and Girl look at each other.]] / Girl: No one likes to take the last piece. / Girl: It's sad to see something made finite. / [[Cat shakes the bag while Girl looks sad.]] / Girl: It's sad to see something end.
/ Cat: it's covered in goober. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1814 |
| The Party's Here | [[Cat brushes his teeth while Girl reads the paper]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat walks by a bus stop where Grrl is talking on her cell phone]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat buys a 6-pack of beer at a liquor and cigarettes shop]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat, carrying his beer, passes Beatnik Vampire on his way to work]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat, still carrying the beer, stands at the desert at the edge of the city and shouts]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat anxiously clutches the beer and asks passersby in the street]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat places his beer in a container on a conveyor belt at an airport and asks the Alone Ranger / TSA official]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[In an office of cubicles Cat asks a woman in headphones at a desk]]
/ Cat: Where are all the sad and lonely people? / [[Cat and the characters from the previous panels all party together]]
/ Cat: WOO! http://catandgirl.com/?p=1820 |
| The Party's Here | [[Cat brushes his teeth while Girl reads the paper]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat walks by a bus stop where Grrl is talking on her cell phone]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat buys a 6-pack of beer at a liquor and cigarettes shop]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat, carrying his beer, passes Beatnik Vampire on his way to work]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat, still carrying the beer, stands at the desert at the edge of the city and shouts]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat anxiously clutches the beer and asks passersby in the street]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[Cat places his beer in a container on a conveyor belt at an airport and asks the Alone Ranger / TSA official]]
/ Cat: Where's the party at? / [[In an office of cubicles Cat asks a woman in headphones at a desk]]
/ Cat: Where are all the sad and lonely people? / [[Cat and the characters from the previous panels all party together]]
/ Cat: WOO! http://catandgirl.com/?p=1820 |
| Worlds of Wonder | [[Cat and girl walk tiredly in the desert]] / Cat: We're lost.
/ Girl: I'll check Google Maps. / Cat: AUGH
/ Girl: Here we are! / Cat: What happened to the thrill of the UNKNOWN? / Cat: Light falling into the forest
/ Cat: Banjos playing / Cat: And why aren't gas station bathrooms as filthy as they used to be? / Cat: A gas station bathroom should be a dark closet with two buckets and no toilet paper. / Cat: And a sign on the back of the door that says, "this is what you get for leaving home." / Girl: Just because you privilege the world of YOUR childhood doesn't mean everyone ELSE has to -- / Girl: And besides -- / Girl: You can be nostalgic for a CESSPOOL?
/ Cat: I can be nostalgic for MYSPACE. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1830 |
| The Dark Ages | {{ HEADER: What Did People Do Before Wikipedia? }} / [[Cat and Girl sitting at a table in Colonial clothing, a mug near Cat]]
/ Girl: -And Sneezy.
/ Cat: Now the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.
/ Girl: Hmm / Cat: The Pyramids of Giza.
/ Girl: The Colossus of Rhodes.
/ Cat: The Hanging Gardens of Babylon. / [[Both with pensive looks]]
/ Girl: The Lighthouse at Alexandria-
/ Cat: It's on the tip of my tongue, the-
/ Girl: The Pantheon, uh- / Girl: The IKEA at Red Hook and Carhenge.
/ Cat: Really?
/ Girl: Yeah.
/ Cat: You're certain?
/ Girl: Yeah. / Cat: Oh. / Girl: Who wants to play "Tennis for Two?"
/ Cat: [[Grabs his mug]] I'll get pence for the oscilloscope. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1832 |
| Before Poptimism | [[Girl switches off a radio playing "Hit me baby, one more time"]]
/ Girl: UGH / Girl: THOSE were the Dark Ages -- / [[Cat enters the scene wearing headphones]]
/ Girl: When indie bands would cover major pop songs / [[Cat removes his headphones]]
/ Girl: Maintaining that they WEREN'T being IRONIC
/ Girl: The just liked the SONGWRITING -- / Girl: As if the songwriting needed THEM for legitimacy. / [[Girl scowls to herself while Cat looks thoughtful]] / [[Flashback: Girl, Cat, and Grrl as an indie band sing "HE WAS A SKATER BOY, SHE SAID SEE YA LATER BOY"]] / [[Cat frowns]] / Cat: I don't remember you complaining.
/ Girl: We are all prisoners of our era. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1846 |
| Letting Go | [[Girl and Cat play ping-pong. Girl hits the ball violently, scoring a point.]]
/ < http://catandgirl.com/?p=1856 |
| Letting Go | [[Girl and Cat play ping-pong. Girl hits the ball violently, scoring a point.]]
/ < http://catandgirl.com/?p=1856 |
| Lies to Live By | [[Girl in the desert]]
/ Girl: If you're the little fish in the big pond / [[Girl with cactus in the distance]]
/ Girl: You *know* you're insignificant / [[Girl with rocks in the distance]]
/ Girl: But you can take solace in the importance of your pond / Girl: If you're the *big* fish
/ Girl: in the *little* pond / Girl: Well if the *pond's* not important the fish has to start believing in its *own* importance. / Girl: So which is better to live by--- / Girl: The lie of the significance of the fish / [[Cat appears. Cat is drinking soda from a paper cup with a straw.]]
/ Girl: Or the lie of the significance of the pond? / [[Cat stops drinking.]] / Girl: The big pond's got better museums.
/ Cat: But the supermarkets are all tiny and awful. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1858 |
| Civilization and Its Discontents | [[Girl on beach]]
/ Girl: If this life is all we've got / Girl: What's the argument against hedonism? / Girl: Except that it seems kind of tawdry. / [[Cat in water wearing old-fashioned bathing suit]]
/ Girl: So SOCIETY is our argument against hedonism.
/ Cat: Duh!
/ Girl: And the more you have INVESTED in society the easier hedonism is to PUT OFF -
/ Cat: Id and superego! / Cat: Freud said it. / Girl: His theories have all the weight of a joke on a popsicle stick.
/ Cat: So go enjoy your hedonism then! / [[Girl alone]]
/ Girl: It just doesn't sound like much fun. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1860 |
| Where You Look | [[ Boy at lectern in a park ]]
/ Boy: Cryptozoology.
/ Boy: The search for creatures written off as FICTIONAL. / Boy: For example
/ Boy: The YETI.
/ a dog with wagging tail: << BARK! >> / Boy: Just because no one has SEEN the yeti-
/ Cat: I have! / Boy: Yeah?
/ Boy: Where?
/ Cat: The Laundromat. / [[ They look at each other, Boy with arms folded, Cat with hands touching at the fingers. ]] / Boy: Yetis don't wear clothes.
/ Cat: I never SAID he was doing laundry! http://catandgirl.com/?p=1888 |
| Cryptozoology | [[Boy is consulting a book]]
/ Boy: My books describe the Yeti as elusive.
/ Cat: He's got reason to be. / Cat: That jerk owes me forty dollars. / Balding man: He owes ME sixty!
/ Arms Akimbo woman: He ran into my car and didn't leave a note! / Grrrl: He owes me two hundred!
/ Behind the desk guy: He owes ME five!
/ Guy with Arms Akimbo woman: He slept on my couch for a MONTH and didn't help with a SINGLE utility bill!
/ Beatnik vampire: I gave him ten bucks for pizza and he pretended there wasn't any change! / [[Wide-eyed monster hides behind tree in forest ]] http://catandgirl.com/?p=1890 |
| Hard Truths | [[Cat and Girl are walking beside each other.]]
/ Cat: We can go bowling.
/ Girl: No. / Cat: Hiking?
/ Girl: No-- / [[Cat is becoming more and more animated.]]
/ Cat: *Karaoke*!
/ Girl: That's not really my thing. / Cat: The rodeo.
/ Girl: Not my thing.
/ Cat: Rollerskating.
/ Girl: Not my thing. / Cat: *The roller skating rodeo*.
/ Girl: It's just not my thing. / [[Cat begins to get agitated.]]
/ Cat: What *is* your thing?
/ [[Girl looks depressed.]]
/ Girl: Maybe I don't have one. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1892 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://catandgirl.com/?p=1894.">http://catandgirl.com/?p=1894. | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Theory and Practice | [[ Sun behind clouds]] / Girl: What's the answer? / Cat: Chips and salsa! / Girl: What?
/ Cat: Chips and Salsa! What *can't* be improved by chips and salsa? The *answer* is *always* chips and salsa!" / [[pause]] / Girl: How did you do on the GRE?
/ Cat: Chips and Salsa. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1896 |
| Theory and Practice | [[ Sun behind clouds]] / Girl: What's the answer? / Cat: Chips and salsa! / Girl: What?
/ Cat: Chips and Salsa! What *can't* be improved by chips and salsa? The *answer* is *always* chips and salsa!" / [[pause]] / Girl: How did you do on the GRE?
/ Cat: Chips and Salsa. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1896 |
| Touch | [[ Cat and Girl walking. Cactus on horizon ]]
/ Girl: Phone
/ Girl: Camera
/ Girl: Music player
/ Girl: Computer / Girl: Everything no one really needs in just one device! / Girl: Sure is CONVENIENT- / Girl: IF you've got the money.
/ Cat: You're jealous! / [[ They stop. House on horizon ]]
/ Girl: I don't want any more than what everyone else has got. / Cat: Since when is it a human right to listen to music everywhere you go? / Cat: To capture every insignificant moment
/ Cat: To communicate
/ Cat: EVERYTHING
/ Cat: EVERYWHERE / Girl: What's more human than COMMUNICATION? / Girl: Envy.
/ Cat: Greed.
/ Girl: Self-pity.
/ Cat: Incompetence.
/ Girl: Agriculture.
/ Cat: Sandwiches. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1898 |
| The Only Thing | [[Cat playing ping pong]]
/ < http://catandgirl.com/?p=1900 |
| Futon Bedouin | [[Cat and Girl are carrying suitcases]]
/ Girl: Why did we get all this stuff?
/ Cat: It made us happy / Girl: I envy the Nomad.
/ Cat: For a little while / Girl: You get your tent- your spices- your great love of poetry- / Cat: And then it just made us sadder.
/ Girl: And you are good to go! / Girl: But it's not like we're tied to the land through agriculture- / Girl: Or community- or a sense of place- we're a mobile society! / Girl: And as our mobility increases- so does our crushing commitment to stuff. Well- / Girl: I am a Nomad / Girl: And I prize my mobility above all things! / [[Cat and Girl start throwing things out of their suitcases]]
/ Girl: Good riddance! It's a new day!
/ Cat: Burn them where we stand! / [[Girl is holding a stuffed animal, Cat is holding a laptop]]
/ Girl: That's my computer.
/ Cat: We can't get rid of Scampers! http://catandgirl.com/?p=1906 |
| First Things First | Cat: Death before dishonor. / Cat: Dishonor first, then death. / Cat: Wait / Cat: Wait wait wait wait wait / Cat: Dishonor- Death- / Cat: And then I'll pick up a pizza.
/ Girl: Pizza first! I'm starving. http://catandgirl.com/?p=1910 |
| Contagion | [[Cat and Girl strolling. Cat looking ill]] / Cat: < http://catandgirl.com/?p=1951 |
| The Flatulent Ghost | [[A door.]] / [[Girl enters the house carrying a steaming hot pizza pie.]] / [[She puts it on the kitchen counter and reaches for a plate.]] / [[She takes a slice out of the box.]] / [[Girl puts her plate of pizza on a desk while she hangs up her coat.]] / [[Girl licks her lips in anticipation.]] / [[Girl holds the pizza up to her mouth.]] / [[She pauses.]] / [[Girl puts the pizza back on her plate and stares at the air around her, grimacing.]] http://catandgirl.com/?p=1957 |
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