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The Searchers [[Cat and Girl look across the empty desert as a tumbleweed rolls by.]] / Cat: This used to be LEGITIMACY country / Cat: but no one's seen her since print died. / Girl: That was AGES ago / Cat: Now it's ruled by her BEAUTIFUL sister / Cat: AUTHENTICITY / Girl: Self-expression's girl? He seems nice at first but he's a TYRANT. / Cat: Law's just the gang with the badges / Girl: and it's easy to be nostalgic for yesterday's problems! / Cat: At least when PRINT was around I had something to read in the bathroom. / Girl: THAT'S your main concern? / Cat: I hate spending time with myself.
A Short History of Gossip <> / [[A caveman trips over a rock.]] / Cave-Cat, Boy and Girl: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha / [[Cat and Girl are wearing togas and standing in front of a temple.]] / Cat: Did you hear about Zeus? / Girl: A SWAN? / [[A french village, just before the revolution.]] / Boy: And they pretend to be MILKMAIDS. / Grrrl: Oooooooooh that makes me mad. / [[A mid-century American bar.]] / Cat: She bathes - she bathes in MILK - write that down - for at least an HOUR a day / Girl: OK - Sure / [[A press conference]] / Grrrl: After we drank several bottles of Malta - and that's when I robbed the wafflehouse. / <> / [[Girl is on the phone.]] / Zeus: Did you hear what / Girl: HEY / Zeus: the swan, and / Girl: they BOTH said / Zeus: hey - pay attention to me - i'm on television
Postdestination Cat: What are you doing next year? / Girl: Don't ask about the future. / Cat: The future is exciting! / Girl: Time doesn't just go by. It passes judgement. / Cat: But the future can be whatever we make it! / Girl: Until the past is nothing but how we choose to remember it. / Girl: We can control our past? / Girl: but the future determines itself. / / Cat: What are you doing last year? / Girl: Same old, same old.
Conspicuous Purgatory [[Cat and Girl stand in front of an old Model T.]] / Cat: Any color you want so long as it's black. / [[They are in an office.]] / Cat: The standard - or the princess phone. / [[Cat is behind a soda counter.]] / Cat: Hamburger Cheeseburger or Chamburgurgle? / Girl: ONE phone company - THREE car companies - and every house looks the same! / Girl: A cultural conformity determined by the methods of mass production - / Girl: CAN I be an individual without CHOICE? / Cat: Girl - wake up - wake up - / [[Cat shakes Girl awake. She has been dreaming. They are both now standing in front of a display case full of cell phones.]] / [[Girl looks at all the phones.]] / Girl: CAN I be an individual? / Cat: INDIVIDUALS use IPHONES.
There's No Reward Cat: I've been up since five am. / The Alone Ranger: I brush AND floss - TWICE a day! / Girl: I finished "Gravity's Rainbow." / Beatnik Vampire: I bought a house I could AFFORD. / Rabbit: I try to think only nice things. / Grrrl (in a nun's habit): I've devoted my life to service. / Boy: My inbox is EMPTY. / [[Boy taps at his computer in the dark.]] / <>
 
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It's Potluck, Bad Decision Dinosaur [[Bad Decision Dinosaur is walking a ham on a leash.]] / [[He hides the ham in his jacket and buys a movie ticket.]] / [[He reads to the ham in bed by candlelight.]] / [[Girl and Bad Decision Dinosaur are at the beach eating popsicles.]] / [[Bad Decision Dinosaur offers some popsicle to his ham.]] / Girl: You are TOO OLD for a security ham. / Bad Decision Dinosaur: <>
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Stuck in the Middle [[Hills]] / Girl: When a year falls out of what we think of as the present / Girl: it should belong to the past / Cat: It should? / Girl: But it doesn't / Girl: Not right away / Girl: There's an Uncanny Valley / Cat: Of course! / [[Mountains]] / Girl: The news events not quite history / Cat: In the Weird Mountains! / Girl: Hairstyles not quite current / Cat: They make ranch dressing / Girl: and kitchens people are in a hurry to remodel. / Cat: but it tastes a little off. / [[Desert, with dark clouds]] / Girl: The No-man's land between Classic and Contemporary / Girl: =Barren= / Girl: =Uninviting= / Cat: We should go! / Cat: I bet it has thrift stores. / Girl: It's nothing But thrift stores.
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There's Always Something Better Going On [[Grrrl, at a bus stop]] / m-Bird: Caw / Other m-Bird: Caw / [[Grrrl checks phone]] / [[Grocery Store, Aisle 4. Grrrl still reading phone]] / [[Coffee Shop. Grrrl reads phone while others engage in life.]] / [[On the street. Grrrl still reading phone as Girl approaches.]] / Girl: Hey / Grrrl: <> / Girl's phone: <> / Girl's phone: Hey / Girl: You choose the Idea of communication over Actual communication? / Grrrl: I chose the idea of people over actual people. / Girl's phone: <<*>> / Girl: Hold on / Girl: I should get this
Haunted [[Cat, Boy, Grrrl, and Girl on a hill in a cemetery]] / Cat: We are gathered here today / [[Cat giving a eulogy to the other three, all on their cell phones]] / Cat: To bury boredom / Boy: <> / Grrrl: <> / Girl: <> / Cat: And mourn the passing of its / long / uneventful / life / Boy: <> / Grrrl: <> / Girl: <> / [[Coffin suddenly opens, surprising everyone]] / <> / Girl: <> / [[Everyone looks around for the ghost]] / Girl: <> / [[Cat, at a table, on his phone]] / [[Boy, at a desk with a laptop, on his phone]] / Boy: <> / [[Grrrl, at a bus stop, on her phone]] / Grrrl: <> / [[Girl, lying in bed, on her phone]] / Girl: <>
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Life on the Moon [[A house on the moon]] / Girl: It's kind of far from stuff / Cat: But you get more space - / [[Cat and Girl inside the house, Cat opening a door, looking in.]] / Girl: And you have to fly everywhere. / Cat: Oh! And a washer and dryer. / Cat: We'd have a yard. / Girl: It's too hot half the day. / Girl: And too cold the other half. / Cat: We could Barbeque / Cat: What's keeping us on Earth? / Girl: Want- / Girl: Hope- / Girl: Gravity. / Cat: I can't live on Earth anymore / Cat: Terrible things happen there! / Girl: Our friends. / Cat: I can drink at home. / [[Cat and Girl are by a window]] / Girl: Is that a sentient being? / Girl: Is it breaking into our car? / {{silent panel, Cat alone, Girl has left}} / [[Cat still by window, panel now includes sales agent woman to his right]] / Cat: So how are the schools?
Fresh Start Girl: Let's NOT keep in touch. / Cat: Don't call me. / Girl: Don't answer! / Cat: Don't text! / Cat: Don't read my website! / Girl: Don't COMMENT on my UPDATES! / Cat: Don't read my twitter / Girl: DON'T TWITTER / Girl: Erase my number - / Cat: Change your email address! / Cat: Move to El Paso! / Girl: Grow a moustache! / Cat: Die your hair! / Girl: Eat better - exercise - / Cat: Take classes at a local college. / Girl: Act like the person you WANT to be - / Cat: Start a NEW life / Girl: What's your number? / Cat: It's "CAT" - C - A - T - / [[Girl googles "Cat."]]
 
Creative Class Girl: AUTHORIAL INTENT is BUNK! / Girl: I will ONLY read things written by people who don't know what they're doing - / Girl: Self-expression is a LIE society sells to outsiders to keep them COMPLACENT. / Girl: False meaning for those who reject mass sources of false meaning as BENEATH them / Cat: Religion / Girl: South Beach - Christmas - / Girl: An acceptable motivation for people who can't admit - they might LIKE poverty and failure. / Cat: You just smoosh stuff together! / Cat: Baroque art plus Facebook updates! 19th century handbills plus 80s hardcore bands! A plus B! / Cat: An ASCII animation of the Rodney King tape - Mr. T plus LOLcats. / Girl: That's not creative! / Cat: Because people like it? / Girl: It's cynical new detritus made by combining old detritus! / Cat: Oooooooh - versus the solitary creative GENIUS - shaping the world to their vision? / <> / [[Cat checks his phone]] / {{The painting by "Salome with the Head of Saint John the Baptist" by Guido Reni}} / <>
Other Side [[ In household rooms ]] / Grrrl: There's no MAGIC left in this world. / Cat: I can talk to anyone- Any time- Anywhere- / Grrrl: Thanks to the prosaic clarity of technology. / Cat: and all for the cost of a stamp! / Girl: Technology never changed ANYTHING. Except to make us more efficient at being who we were all along- / [[ Boy's newspaper: I'm Scared Daily ]] / Boy: {{ shaded }} CYBERBULLYING! SEXTING! / Girl: Those sound like OLD DUMB THINGS with NEW DUMB NAMES. / Grrrl: There's MAGIC in old ways of doing things. / Girl: Especially things you don't remember! / Grrrl: Why live in a world of VERIFIABLE FACTS when we can move to the uncertain land of myth? / Girl: If we could find it- / [[ Girl twirls in front of bathroom sink and mirror. Grrrl watches ]] / Girl: {{ shaded }} Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary / [[ Bloody Mary Girl appears in mirror. ]] / [[ Bloody Mary Girl holds camera to eye ]] / <>
Black Candy [[A hilly landscape in the background, with tombstones scattered on the hills]] / Cat: What's worse - / Cat: Belonging or not belonging. / Girl: Belonging / Cat: Creamy or chunky. / Girl: Chunky! / [[Cat and Girl are in front of a lake or river]] / Cat: Sickness or death / Girl: The corruption of our idea of self. / Girl: Or the elimination of it. / [[Girl is surrounded by a halo of emanata lines; Cat digs into his picnic basket]] / Girl: The bitter fruit of struggle / Girl: Or the black candy of defeat. / [[Cat now has jam stains all around his mouth]] / Girl: Your own self rebelling against the plans you've made for it- / Girl: Or death / Girl: The friend you've never met- / Girl: Who is always two steps behind you / Girl: Waiting to introduce himself / [[In the river or lake in the background, a boat passes by with skeleton passengers; one man dressed as a gondolier standing up and rowing, another man sitting down in a suit with his hand in the water, and a dog]] / Skeleton Gondolier: Hello / Skeleton Passenger: Hello / Skeleton Dog: Roff! / Girl: The chunky peanut butter of acceptance meets the jelly of inevitability. / Cat: It's great on two slices of it-could-be-worse!
Knick Knack [[the flat surface of a body of water, with a fishing line]] / <> / [[the fishing line jerks a bit]] / [[Close shot of Cat and Girl in a boat. Cat holds the fishing rod; he has fished a boot and is surprised]] / [[A longer shot of the boat, Cat has resumed fishing, Girl is setting the boot back out to sea]] / Girl: It's a Doc Marten- / [[Close shot on the boat again; Cat has fished a magazine, Girl dips her arms into the sea.]] / Cat: A zine about The Brady Bunch. / Girl: The waves of nostalgia- / [[Long shot for the rest of the comic. Cat continues fishing. The waves begin to pick up, the water is getting choppier and choppier throughout the rest of the comic]] / <> / Girl: There are whole areas of the ocean - just covered in plastic bags- / [[Cat has fished a floppy disk; Girl stands in the boat]] / Girl: The detritus from what we call a culture- / Girl: Bubbling up to haunt us again. / [[Girl measures the floppy disk with a ruler]] / Girl: The future used to be about chrome space ships- and progress- / [[The waves get bigger; Girl angrily throws out the floppy disk]] / Girl: Now what do we have to look forward to? / Cat: Paying rent- / Cat: Parking tickets / Cat: "Fringe" / Girl: Environmental disasters and low-flush toilets- / [[the waves fill up the entire panel; the boat looks smaller, and Cat and Girl look up to one wave that is towering over them]] / Girl: And remakes / Girl: of remakes / Girl: of remakes / Girl: of / [[all we see now is the choppy water]]
Pajama Party in a Haunted Hive [[Pitch black]] / [[Pair of eyes open]] Girl: I can't sleep. / [[Another pair of eyes open]] Cat: I haven't slept since Tuesday. / Girl: I'm worried-- / Cat: Or last Tuesday. It was a Tuesday in March. / Girl: Life is meaningless [[frowns]] / Cat: Now all the colors are brighter - and my ideas sound better / Girl: I used to be smart - now I'm clever / Cat: I pity the sleepers - and their sorry need / Girl: I used to listen - now I nod - I used to care / Cat: Free from sleep - we enter a higher state of being - our thoughts made manifest in the world-- / Girl: In the darkness houses creak and train whistles blow / Girl: And our worries take on corporeal forms- / Cat: My hands are - mittens / Cat: <>> / [[Girl is attacked by an international army comprised solely of bees]] / <> / Girl: Ow - help!
 

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