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Two Lumps [[You see Mom's legs, standing in front of some cabinets. Snooch stares up at her.]] / Mom: Snooch, you weigh more than a small dog. The vet told me to give you the diet cat food, and I'm sticking with his recommendation. / Mom: Begging is not going to make me share my god damned cream cheese with...
Two Lumps [[You see Mom's legs, standing in front of some cabinets. Snooch stares up at her.]] / Mom: Snooch, you weigh more than a small dog. The vet told me to give you the diet cat food, and I'm sticking with his recommendation. / Mom: Begging is not going to make me share my god damned cream cheese with...
Two Lumps [[A close up of Ebenezer sitting in his Kit-e-Pan cat litter box with a disgruntled look on his face]] / [[A close up as Ebenezer continues to sit in his Kit-e-Pan cat litter box with a disgruntled look on his face. He reaches out of the litter box and starts to wipe and scratch his paw.]] / <> / <> / <> / [[A...
Two Lumps [[A close up of Ebenezer sitting in his Kit-e-Pan cat litter box with a disgruntled look on his face]] / [[A close up as Ebenezer continues to sit in his Kit-e-Pan cat litter box with a disgruntled look on his face. He reaches out of the litter box and starts to wipe and scratch his paw.]] / <> / <> / <> / [[A...
Two Lumps {{Two Lumps}} / [[Ebenezer sits and reflects on important theories and ideas]] / <> / [[Ebenezer looks back and sees Snooch. His important thoughts go <> Snooch is wearing a sun bonnet with bright blue posies. It is engulfing his head]] / Snooch: Ghee hee hee. / [[Ebenezer looks...
Two Lumps {{Title: "Sung to the tune of Superman's theme"}} / [[Snooch is sitting in the corner, his back to the audience, licking himself.]] / Snooch: BUTT. Licking my Butt, Butt butt butt... / [[Pull back to see Ebenezer, with his tail twitching wildly, glaring at Snooch as he sings and continues to lick himself]] / Ebenezer:...
Two Lumps {{Title: "Sung to the tune of Superman's theme"}} / [[Snooch is sitting in the corner, his back to the audience, licking himself.]] / Snooch: BUTT. Licking my Butt, Butt butt butt... / [[Pull back to see Ebenezer, with his tail twitching wildly, glaring at Snooch as he sings and continues to lick himself]] / Ebenezer:...
Two Lumps [[Snooch lying stretched out on the carpet with a goofy grin. His eyes are different sizes.]] / Snooch: WEEDA WEEDA WOO! Hee hee hee hee hee... I AM TEH CAPTAIN OF THE CARPET SHIP! / [[Ebenezer glares at Snooch.]] / Ebenezer: Ah, been at the catnip again I see, you slovenly, disgusting layabout. / Snooch:...
Two Lumps [[Snooch lying stretched out on the carpet with a goofy grin. His eyes are different sizes.]] / Snooch: WEEDA WEEDA WOO! Hee hee hee hee hee... I AM TEH CAPTAIN OF THE CARPET SHIP! / [[Ebenezer glares at Snooch.]] / Ebenezer: Ah, been at the catnip again I see, you slovenly, disgusting layabout. / Snooch:...
 
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch are sitting in a room.]] / Dogs [[Off screen]]: WOOF WOOF WOOF / Snooch [[His eyes huge]]: WTF? / Dogs [[Offscreen]]: WOOF WOOF WOOF / Ebenezer: Dogs! The new neighbors have DOGS! / Snooch [[Looking puzzled]]: What are those? / [[Ebenezer and Snooch run from the room, Ebenezer looking...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch are sitting in a room.]] / Dogs [[Off screen]]: WOOF WOOF WOOF / Snooch [[His eyes huge]]: WTF? / Dogs [[Offscreen]]: WOOF WOOF WOOF / Ebenezer: Dogs! The new neighbors have DOGS! / Snooch [[Looking puzzled]]: What are those? / [[Ebenezer and Snooch run from the room, Ebenezer looking...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch peer down from a window ledge. Eben's ears are pinned back and he looks angry. Snooch's eyes are huge and he looks curious. / Dogs [Offscreen]: YAP WARF BARK BARK / [[Bird's eye view of the sidewalk, occupied by a snarling Pug and Chihuahua.]] / Chihuahua: RRRRRRRRRRR / Pug: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR / [[Ebenezer...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch peer down from a window ledge. Eben's ears are pinned back and he looks angry. Snooch's eyes are huge and he looks curious. / Dogs [Offscreen]: YAP WARF BARK BARK / [[Bird's eye view of the sidewalk, occupied by a snarling Pug and Chihuahua.]] / Chihuahua: RRRRRRRRRRR / Pug: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR / [[Ebenezer...
Two Lumps {{Superscript: WHY WE NEVER HEAR ABOUT THE CATS OF WAR}} / [[On a battleground, both cats dressed as soldiers. They are both wearing WWII helmets. Snooch is wearing a machine gun bullet bandolier.]] / Ebenezer: Snooch, we have come far with the secret documents we stole from the enemy. These plans...
Two Lumps {{Superscript: WHY WE NEVER HEAR ABOUT THE CATS OF WAR}} / [[On a battleground, both cats dressed as soldiers. They are both wearing WWII helmets. Snooch is wearing a machine gun bullet bandolier.]] / Ebenezer: Snooch, we have come far with the secret documents we stole from the enemy. These plans...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch sit in front of the couch. Ebenezer's ears are pinned back and he looks angry. / Snooch: Hey, Eben! What's Mom doin' in that closet? / Ebenezer: Aside from trying to wake the dead, I haven't the foggiest. / <> / <> / <> / [[Ebenezer's tail poofs up, Snooch's...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch sit in front of the couch. Ebenezer's ears are pinned back and he looks angry. / Snooch: Hey, Eben! What's Mom doin' in that closet? / Ebenezer: Aside from trying to wake the dead, I haven't the foggiest. / <> / <> / <> / [[Ebenezer's tail poofs up, Snooch's...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch are in the cat carrier]] / Snooch: We get to ride in the zoomy box! YAY! / Ebenezer: Well, here we are, unjustly imprisoned by fate. / [[A view from outside the car they are riding in]] / Ebenezer: Whiling away our hours in a tiny Big House. / Snooch: WEEEE! We're goin' all swoopy......
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch are in the cat carrier]] / Snooch: We get to ride in the zoomy box! YAY! / Ebenezer: Well, here we are, unjustly imprisoned by fate. / [[A view from outside the car they are riding in]] / Ebenezer: Whiling away our hours in a tiny Big House. / Snooch: WEEEE! We're goin' all swoopy......
 
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch are inside the cat carrier. They are covered in vomit, and Ebenezer is glaring at Snooch.]] / Snooch: Ugh... hey, we stopped moving. / Ebenezer: Thank the powers that be. / Ebenezer: What's that bizarre odor? Smells like... dogs? / Snooch: Teh big mouses? / Ebenezer: Don't even start...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch are inside the cat carrier. They are covered in vomit, and Ebenezer is glaring at Snooch.]] / Snooch: Ugh... hey, we stopped moving. / Ebenezer: Thank the powers that be. / Ebenezer: What's that bizarre odor? Smells like... dogs? / Snooch: Teh big mouses? / Ebenezer: Don't even start...
Two Lumps [[A hand opens the cat carrier. Ebenezer and Snooch are unseen inside the carrier.]] / Ebenezer: EGADS! Who the deuce are THESE people? / Vet: Hey there, Snooch! / Vet: My, you're getting big, aren't you? / Snooch: Ooooo, maybe he'll give me dog-mouses! / [[Ebenezer sits in the open carrier while the...
Two Lumps [[A hand opens the cat carrier. Ebenezer and Snooch are unseen inside the carrier.]] / Ebenezer: EGADS! Who the deuce are THESE people? / Vet: Hey there, Snooch! / Vet: My, you're getting big, aren't you? / Snooch: Ooooo, maybe he'll give me dog-mouses! / [[Ebenezer sits in the open carrier while the...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer is inside the crate, his eyes are huge and his hair is fluffed out.]] / Vet: Okay, now we just need a blood sample... / Snooch: AAAAAAAAUGH! / Ebenezer: Next they'll attempt to dissect him for study! WE HAVE TO ESCAPE! / Snooch: RARRRR! / Vet: And these are your shots... OW! Nurse, can you hold...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer is inside the crate, his eyes are huge and his hair is fluffed out.]] / Vet: Okay, now we just need a blood sample... / Snooch: AAAAAAAAUGH! / Ebenezer: Next they'll attempt to dissect him for study! WE HAVE TO ESCAPE! / Snooch: RARRRR! / Vet: And these are your shots... OW! Nurse, can you hold...
Two Lumps [The vet holds Ebenzer, who is draped limply over his hand.]] / Vet: Nurse, it appears that Ebenezer is playing dead again. / Ebenezer: "Again"? Fool! I've never been here before! ... Or have I? / Vet: I'll just leave him here. Seems he and his brother have put on weight again. / [[The vet drops Ebenzeer...
Two Lumps [The vet holds Ebenzer, who is draped limply over his hand.]] / Vet: Nurse, it appears that Ebenezer is playing dead again. / Ebenezer: "Again"? Fool! I've never been here before! ... Or have I? / Vet: I'll just leave him here. Seems he and his brother have put on weight again. / [[The vet drops Ebenzeer...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch are together inside the cat carrier. Ebenezer glares out the door, his tail lashing. Snooch is obviously distressed, his hair is mussed, and his pupils are dilated.]] / Ebenezer: Well, that was humiliating, but at least we're alive, eh, Snooch? / Snooch: Fah... pokey things... in...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer and Snooch are together inside the cat carrier. Ebenezer glares out the door, his tail lashing. Snooch is obviously distressed, his hair is mussed, and his pupils are dilated.]] / Ebenezer: Well, that was humiliating, but at least we're alive, eh, Snooch? / Snooch: Fah... pokey things... in...
 
Two Lumps Ebenezer: [[Facing the panel with the news and links, and swishing his tail]] Click the damned links on the side of the page, mortal fools.
Two Lumps Ebenezer: [[Facing the panel with the news and links, and swishing his tail]] Click the damned links on the side of the page, mortal fools.
Two Lumps [[The office cat runs away from the carrier. The carrier rocks madly as Snooch begins to fight furiously to get out.]] / Snooch: VENGEANCE FOR THE BUTT! / Cat: HOLY CRAP! / [[Inside the carrier ... Ebenezer still looks concerned and stares at Snooch. Snooch is still freaked out, and foaming at the...
Two Lumps [[The office cat runs away from the carrier. The carrier rocks madly as Snooch begins to fight furiously to get out.]] / Snooch: VENGEANCE FOR THE BUTT! / Cat: HOLY CRAP! / [[Inside the carrier ... Ebenezer still looks concerned and stares at Snooch. Snooch is still freaked out, and foaming at the...
Two Lumps [[Outside the madly rocking carrier, Mom reaches for the cage door.]] / Mom: What the HELL? / Snooch: DIE! DIE! / Ebenezer: ACK! / Snooch: DIE! DIE! / Ebenezer: OW! MERCY! / Snooch: DIE! DIE! / Ebenezer HELP! / [[The office cat has come back and is sitting outside the carrier as Mom opens the door to look...
Two Lumps [[Outside the madly rocking carrier, Mom reaches for the cage door.]] / Mom: What the HELL? / Snooch: DIE! DIE! / Ebenezer: ACK! / Snooch: DIE! DIE! / Ebenezer: OW! MERCY! / Snooch: DIE! DIE! / Ebenezer HELP! / [[The office cat has come back and is sitting outside the carrier as Mom opens the door to look...
Two Lumps [[Outside view of a disposable cardboard cat carrier.]] / Snooch: The enemy overwhelms me... I am placed in a cell with only tiny holes for air... / Snooch: And the enemy has placed a SNAKE in here to attack THE BUTT! / [[Outside view of a madly vibrating disposable cardboard cat carrier.]] / Snooch: DIE,...
Two Lumps [[Outside view of a disposable cardboard cat carrier.]] / Snooch: The enemy overwhelms me... I am placed in a cell with only tiny holes for air... / Snooch: And the enemy has placed a SNAKE in here to attack THE BUTT! / [[Outside view of a madly vibrating disposable cardboard cat carrier.]] / Snooch: DIE,...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer, covered in bandages, is sulking outside a disposable cardboard cat carrier. Snooch is out of sight inside the carrier.]] / Ebenezer: Well, that was a hideous experience. Handed over to aliens and beaten halfway to death by my own sibling. While I was in a meditative trance, no less. / Snooch:...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer, covered in bandages, is sulking outside a disposable cardboard cat carrier. Snooch is out of sight inside the carrier.]] / Ebenezer: Well, that was a hideous experience. Handed over to aliens and beaten halfway to death by my own sibling. While I was in a meditative trance, no less. / Snooch:...
 
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer is wearing dark sunglasses and a black tie. He is smoking a cigarette.]] / Ebenezer: WELL, I WOKE UP THIS MAWNIN', / <> / Ebenezer: AND I'S IN A BAD MOOD, / <> / Ebenezer: HAD TA HACK UP A HAIRBAW, / <> / Ebenezer: AND WE'S OUT OF GOOSHY...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer is wearing dark sunglasses and a black tie. He is smoking a cigarette.]] / Ebenezer: WELL, I WOKE UP THIS MAWNIN', / <> / Ebenezer: AND I'S IN A BAD MOOD, / <> / Ebenezer: HAD TA HACK UP A HAIRBAW, / <> / Ebenezer: AND WE'S OUT OF GOOSHY...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer sitting on Mom's lap while she is working on the computer.]] / Ebenezer: The lap... the human altar of feline worship, it is being desecrated by this infernal Internet Surf Thing Machine. / Keyboard: <> / Ebenezer: Hmm. That tray seems to roll inward. Now for subtlety! / [[Ebenezer...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer lies stretched out in a sunbeam. He is alone.]] / Ebenezer: Ah, a refreshing mid-day slumber. Now I can get back to plans of world domination and shredding upholstery. / [[Ebenezer stretches. In the background Snooch is watching.]] / Ebenezer: Of course, policy dictates that every nap must...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer lies stretched out in a sunbeam. He is alone.]] / Ebenezer: Ah, a refreshing mid-day slumber. Now I can get back to plans of world domination and shredding upholstery. / [[Ebenezer stretches. In the background Snooch is watching.]] / Ebenezer: Of course, policy dictates that every nap must...
Two Lumps [[Mom places a plate of gooshy food on the floor in front of Ebenezer.]] / Mom: Here you go, Eben! A nice bowl of Gooshy Food! / Ebenezer: Zounds! / [[Ebenezer looks in front of him.]] / [[Ebenezer looks behind him.]] / [[Ebenezer dances madly in the plate of gooshy food, splattering it all over.]] / Ebenezer:...
Two Lumps [[Mom places a plate of gooshy food on the floor in front of Ebenezer.]] / Mom: Here you go, Eben! A nice bowl of Gooshy Food! / Ebenezer: Zounds! / [[Ebenezer looks in front of him.]] / [[Ebenezer looks behind him.]] / [[Ebenezer dances madly in the plate of gooshy food, splattering it all over.]] / Ebenezer:...
Two Lumps [[Mom is walking, carrying a large plate of fettuccine. Snooch trips her and Mom starts to fall.]] / Mom: Dum de dum de dAAAAAAAGH! / <> / Snooch: PETTINS! / [[The platter of fettuccine is splattered all over the ottomon. Snooch sits staring at it.]] / Mom: Dammit, Snooch! I didn't need fettuccine...
Two Lumps [[Mom is walking, carrying a large plate of fettuccine. Snooch trips her and Mom starts to fall.]] / Mom: Dum de dum de dAAAAAAAGH! / <> / Snooch: PETTINS! / [[The platter of fettuccine is splattered all over the ottomon. Snooch sits staring at it.]] / Mom: Dammit, Snooch! I didn't need fettuccine...
 
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer sits alone, pondering.]] / Ebenezer: Immanuel Kant once said: "Science is organized knowledge, Wisdom is organized Life." / Ebenezer: Sophocles stated: "Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness." / [[An outline of Ebenezer, still pondering.]] / Ebenezer: But I believe it was Snooch who stated,...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer sits alone, pondering.]] / Ebenezer: Immanuel Kant once said: "Science is organized knowledge, Wisdom is organized Life." / Ebenezer: Sophocles stated: "Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness." / [[An outline of Ebenezer, still pondering.]] / Ebenezer: But I believe it was Snooch who stated,...
Two Lumps [[Snooch is sitting in front of the TV, looking scared. Ebenezer is glaring at Snooch.]] / Ebenezer: What's the problem now, nimrod? / Snooch: THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT SHREDDIN' CATS AND PUTTING 'EM IN A BOX!!! / [[Snooch same as before. Ebenezer looking interestedly at TV.]] / TV: The theory of Schroedinger's...
Two Lumps [[Snooch is sitting on a table, knocking over a glass.]] / Snooch: Ooooo, mom left me a glass of milk! / <> / [[Ebenezer looks up at the table from the floor. Snooch is off-camera.]] / Snooch: Woooo hoo hoo! Avast, ye! / Ebenezer: Snooch, what are you babbling about up there? / Snooch: I am the dreaded...
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer is pondering the formula for finding the area of a / "Sector of a Circle = Length of arc x 1/2 radius = L x r/2". Snooch is behind him wearing a baseball hat that completely engulfs his head.]] / Snooch: Hey, Eben, I got a joke for you! / [[Ebenezer looks back at Snooch]] / Ebenezer: No, I...
Two Lumps [[Snooch lies limp on the floor with his tongue sticking out.]] / Snooch: Benny, it's too hot to move today. / Ebenezer: As opposed to your normal athletic lifestyle? / Snooch: Ugh. / [[Ebenezer sits beside Snooch, as Snooch perks up.]] / Ebenezer: Of course, I feel fine. There's one place in the house...
 

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