You're browsing the archives of Two Lumps: The Adventures of Ebenezer and Snooch.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch hangin'out. Snooch is wearing a top hat that completely engulfs his head]]
/ Ebenezer: ...what to do, what to do...
/ Snooch: Word to your mother! / [[Ebenezer turns to look at Snooch]]
/ Ebenezer: We come from the same litter, you dolt. And what is with these confounded hats?
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20040723.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is observing a large, pink, mostly-flat mass]]
/ Ebenezer: ...so when I flatten myself more, I have a larger heat dissipating surface for convection transfer...
/ Snooch (off panel): Hey, Eben! I want some! / [[Pink mass begins changing shape, becoming rounder as Snooch examines it]]
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20040726.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Mom is asleep on the couch, her back to the viewer. Ebenezer is sitting on the couch, between her body and the couch back. Snooch is sitting on the ground.]]
/ Mom: < http://twolumps.net/d/20040730.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting with his back to the "camera". Ebenezer looks in from the lower left corner of the frame.]] / [[Snooch is at the same spot. Ebenezer looks in from the lower right corner of the frame.]] / [[Snooch is at the same spot. Ebenezer has moved to a point within his sight.]]
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20040802.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch sitting enraptured in front of the TV, a puddle in front of him. Ebenezer sits beside the TV.]]
/ Ebenezer: What are you... is that DROOL?
/ TV: WE NOW RETURN TO OUR CLASSIC AFTERNOON MOVIE, "THE BLOB"
/ Snooch: ...in love... / [[Ebenezer has moved so he can see the TV too.]]
/ TV: DOCTOR, NOTHING... http://twolumps.net/d/20040804.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are drawn anime-style. Snooch looks cheerful while Ebenezer looks grumpy.]]
/ Snooch: You have no honor!
/ Ebenezer: You must will die! http://twolumps.net/d/20040806.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are sniffing around a stamped, large box.]]
/ Mom (V.O.): I had to call and thank you for the package! How'd you know I wanted Blah blah blah < http://twolumps.net/d/20040809.html |
| Two Lumps | [[A large cardboard box sits on the floor. Ebenezer sits beside it as Snooch jumps into it.]]
/ Mom (VO): I don't believe this. Now I have to wash these damned things...
/ Ebenezer: What's Mom complaining about? We just increased her domain with no additional rent...
/ Snooch: WEEE! I CLAIM BOX! / [[Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20040811.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch are in front of the couch. Snooch is rolled over belly-up. "Mom" is off-pannel.]]
/ Mom: No time for pettins, guys, I'm late!
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040813.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch seem to be in a cave, miner's hard hats with flashlights on their heads.]]
/ Ebenezer: Cave Journal Entry 29: We've made several critical scientific discoveries on our expedition so far. I have discovered that stalagmites make poor scratching posts, while Snooch seems entirely devoted... http://twolumps.net/d/20040816.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch sit by the full food dish, looking sad.]]
/ Snooch: Icky diet kibble.
/ Eben: While I wouldn't normally agree with your gluttonous complaints, this situation is indeed intolerable. / [[Ebenezer digs in Mom's purse, his head and front paws completely inside it. Snooch looks on with... http://twolumps.net/d/20040818.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sits at the computer as Snooch sits on the floor batting at the mouse, which is hanging down.]]
/ Ebenezer: There! Thanks to the wonders of the Internet, two large double-anchovy pizzas with extra cheese are on their way.
/ Snooch: Yay! I likes fishies! YAY!
/ Ebenezer: Quit playing with... http://twolumps.net/d/20040820.html |
| Two Lumps | {{Bonus weekend panel.}}
/ [[Eben is hanging from a harness attached to a rope and pulley device with a credit card in his mouth.]] / Pizza delivery guy: Man, I hate this job... http://twolumps.net/d/20040821.html |
| Two Lumps | <<*SLAM!*>>
/ Mom: &%#&%# WORK ^#&%^%COMPUTER@!$#! @TRAFFIC^%*$*^...
/ Snooch: MOM'S HOME! Yay! I want GOOSHYFOOD!
/ Ebenezer: This probably isn't the best time, Snooch. / < http://twolumps.net/d/20040823.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch lays on side with swollen, full belly]]
/ Snooch: Oof. So full. Now it's time for my after-dinner bath! / [[Snooch sits upright, curling up to try and reach hind toes with tongue]]
/ Snooch: Can't... quite... reach... foot... Maybe if I rock back and forth... / [[A curled up Snooch-ball rolls... http://twolumps.net/d/20040825.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Eben are sitting on top of the toilet and counter in the bathroom]]
/ Snooch: Whatcha doin'?
/ Ebenezer: I'm condcuting my weekly scan of the human cleansing area for report, of course.
/ Snooch: Ooooo! Can I help?
/ Ebenezer: I doubt it, but you're welcome to try. / [[Snooch presses on the... http://twolumps.net/d/20040827.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch sits on the bathroom floor, looking up at Eben sitting on the counter, face in the sink]]
/ Snooch: What's the big bowl you got?
/ Ebenezer: It's the sink. If you ever hauled your butt up here you'd know about it. / Snooch: Why you drinkin' that water?
/ Ebenezer: The humans use this receptacle... http://twolumps.net/d/20040830.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sitting alone]]
/ Ebenezer: Alone at last! Now I can finally indule in something more cultured... / [[Ebenezer in ruffled clown suit in spotlight]]
/ Ebenezer: Ridi pagliaccio sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol che... / [[Ebenezer on bathroom sink with ruffles around his neck and forepaws,... http://twolumps.net/d/20040901.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch witting in front of TV]]
/ TV: "... as the lemmings' environment becomes overcrowded, hysterical migration occurs..."
/ Ebenezer: They're playing this debunked old thing again? Ludicrous.
/ Snooch: Lookit 'em all running! / TV: "... seen here, the lemmings throw themselves over cliff... http://twolumps.net/d/20040903.html |
| Two Lumps | Ebenezer: In observance of Labor Day, we're just going to lie here for a while and snooze. / Ebenezer: Thank heavens for a day off finally.
/ Snooch: Fo reals, yo. http://twolumps.net/d/20040906.html |
| Two Lumps | Ebenezer: ...so even if there for some reason were a horde of lemmings in Mom's living room, they don't act like that. The film company faked it.
/ Snooch: The company's run by fake lemmin's?
/ Ebenezer: No... / Ebenezer: Look. MOVIE company. NOT REAL. Makes the cartoons that you watch? With the giant... http://twolumps.net/d/20040908.html |
| Two Lumps | Mom: What do you MEAN you suddenly can't cat-sit? I'm leaving tomorrow!
/ Snooch: Hey Benny, what's catzit?
/ Eben: It seems someone was supposed to watch us and just flaked. I wonder where Mom's going? / Mom: So what's the sudden emergency? You what? Your Mom's GERBIL has a COUGH?
/ Snooch: Oooooo,... http://twolumps.net/d/20040910.html |
| Two Lumps | Snooch: We's goin' on a trii-iip, we's goin' on a trii-iiip!
/ Ebenezer: Shut it, Snooch. Considering how much you harfed on me on a three-block ride to the vet's, I don't want to even think what nine hours will be like. / Ebenezer: I only pray we get separate carriers...
/ Mom: All right, boys! Time... http://twolumps.net/d/20040913.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer drawn in Ralph Steadman style, as in "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.]]
/ Ebenezer: I was in the kitchen halfway to the water dish, when the drugs began to take hold. / [[Snooch drawn in Steadman style.]]
/ Ebenezer: That ridiculous fat brother of mine began to yowl horribly.
/ I passed out. / [[Snooch... http://twolumps.net/d/20040915.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch in Hotel Room]]
/ Eben: Oh, my aching... Where are we?
/ Snooch: Inna Hotel!
/ Eben: No, what city? State? Did you see any signs on the drive down?
/ Snooch: I saw one that said FOOD! / Eben: Serves me right for asking. Go out on the balcony and see if you can see any landmarks.
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20040917.html |
| Two Lumps | [Hotel room hallway. Ebenezer just visible inside a doorway.]
/ Ebenezer: Right, now that we know we're in New Orleans, we can assess the dangers we'll face while we're out looking for Mom.
/ Snooch: Lucky dogs?
/ Ebenezer: I mean threats specific to our situation. For example... quick! Behind that luggage! / [Ebenezer's... http://twolumps.net/d/20040920.html |
| Two Lumps | [Ebenezer and Snooch walking down a sidewalk littered with empty drink cups]
/ Ebenezer: Given that Mom's on vacation, I think we can safely assume she's still in the French Quarter. We'll search Bourbon St. first, then branch out.
/ Snooch: So hot... so thirsty... melting away to pile of fur... / [Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20040922.html |
| Two Lumps | {{Eben and Snooch are on vacation in New Orleans}}
/ [[Snooch headbonking a light pole]]
/ Snooch: Eben, this guy won't pet me!
/ Ebenezer: That's a signpost, you nimnul! C'mon, we gotta find mom!
/
/ [[People are talking in the background, obviously a bar. They are not shown in the panel.]]
/ <<*URP!*>>
/ Unseen... http://twolumps.net/d/20040924.html |
| Two Lumps | [Ebenezer sitting on a sidewalk, tail twitching]
/ Ebenezer: Finally got that slime rinsed off. It took a while to find a faucet, but no way was I going to LICK... Snooch? Oh, blast. / [Ebenezer crossing a crowded street]
/ Ebenezer: Where'd he go? Probably someplace shiny or full of food. Like that narrows... http://twolumps.net/d/20040927.html |
| Two Lumps | [Ebenezer and Snooch sitting on a sidewalk]
/ Ebenezer: I give up. It's too late to convince Mom to go home early, we might as well wait for her in the room.
/ Snooch: I wants more fruity ice!
/ Ebenezer: Not on your life. Besides I need your help with a little "Welcome Back" surprise for Mom.
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20040929.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 >>