You're browsing the archives of Two Lumps: The Adventures of Ebenezer and Snooch.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is drawn as a cute chibi, holding a bottle labeled sake]]
/ Chibi Snooch: DRINKA DRINKA! / [[Chibi Snooch drinks from the bottle]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20090904.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer approaches Snooch, who is lying on his back. Near him is an open book and pen, with scribbles on the book, and a half-empty bottle of green liquid]]
/ Snooch: The Green Fairy takes me! I shall write a masterpiece!
/ Eben: Look, Dorkzilla, while it's true that many artists have been inspired... http://twolumps.net/d/20090907.html |
| Two Lumps | A FAN NOTED AT THIS YEAR'S ANIMEFEST THAT EBEN AND SNOOCH, THO FUNNY, HAVE NEVER REALLY EVOLVED AS A COMIC. HENCEFORTH, EBEN WILL BE NOT A CAT, BUT A RAT. / [[Snooch is grinning at Ebenezer drawn as a rat]]
/ Snooch: Aw hell yeah!
/ Eben rat: Aw hell naw. / NEVER LET IT BE SAID THAT WE, THE CREATORS,... http://twolumps.net/d/20090909.html |
| Two Lumps | [[An electric water bowl with the name Kit e Spring is on the floor. Snooch is sitting back, startled, while Ebenezer is walking towards it]]
/ Snooch: MOM BOUGHT A VOLCANO!!!
/ Eben: It's our new motorized drinking bowl, butterhead. It's got a pump that circulates the water, like the toilet you're so... http://twolumps.net/d/20090911.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer approaches Snooch, who is blindfolded and sitting next to the new motorized drinking bowl]] / [[Ebenezer sits next to Snooch and stares into the drinking bowl]] / [[Ebenezer stalks away from Snooch]]
/ Eben: Take the goldfish crackers OUT, Snooch.
/ Snooch: They're my koi fishies!
/ Eben: NO... http://twolumps.net/d/20090914.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are sitting near the new motorized waterbowl. The bowl has cream-colored stuff flowing over the edges. There is a bag of Tortexico Chips sitting near Snooch and several chips scattered on the floor.]]
/ Eben: So let me get this straight... you kept putting goldfish crackers in your... http://twolumps.net/d/20090916.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are sitting near the new motorized waterbowl, Snooch's tongue sticking out. The cream colored stuff overflowing the bowl in the previous strip is now dark brown, and the smoke has gotten thicker.]]
/ Eben: Congrats. You utterly ruined it.
/ Snooch: Man, I ain't eatin' that. / [[Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20090918.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer approaches Snooch, who is lying on the floor looking morose]]
/ Eben: Hey Butterlump, there's plenty of gooshy left. You sleep through dinner again?
/ Snooch: Meh. You c'n have it. / [[Ebenezer sits up in alarm]]
/ Eben: WAT.
/ Snooch: You know how animals get funny feelin's before earthquakes... http://twolumps.net/d/20090921.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sitting looking at Snooch, who is not quite as woebegone as he looked in the prior strip]]
/ Mom offpanel: *ring* Yes? This is she...
/ Eben: So you didn't flip out at the vet's at ALL?
/ Snooch: Meh. Din't feel like-- WHOA! I feel better! / [[Snooch rolls on his side, raising one rear leg... http://twolumps.net/d/20090923.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Both cats are sitting on the couch. Ebenezer is wearing a gas mask. Snooch is wearing a blindfold with kanji on it.]]
/ Eben: So, feeling victorious, are we?
/ Snooch: Hai. / Eben: I'd hardly call it an epic battle, Thunderbutt.
/ Snooch: Silence! I am composing a poem to the saga of my divine wind! / Mom... http://twolumps.net/d/20090925.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting reading a book on the floor labeled D&D Manual]] / [[Snooch sticks his left front paw out and looks at it thoughtfully]] / [[Ebenezer walks toward Snooch and the book]]
/ Snooch: DUDE! We're DROW!
/ Eben: Oh really? What's your alighment, Lawful Stupid? http://twolumps.net/d/20090928.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is looking at Snooch, who has a disgruntled expression. Between them on the floor is an open book (identified in prior strip as D&D Manual)]]
/ Eben: You know, Drow have dark SKIN, but their HAIR is actually white. So, no.
/ Snooch: Aw, biscuits. / [[Snooch lays on his back, Ebenezer reads... http://twolumps.net/d/20090930.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are on the couch, Snooch is sulking]]
/ Eben: Decided on which D&D class you want to play yet?
/ Snooch: Bah. I thought about rolling a Paladin, but they're too nice. / Eben: Okay, we could play Eberron, and you can be a Favored Soul.
/ Snooch: Yeah, but then everyone we play with... http://twolumps.net/d/20091002.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Mom is standing next to the couch, Ebenezer is on the couch lashing his tail, Snooch is walking towards Mom]]
/ Mom: Sure, I can watch the kittens. The boys'll love company!
/ Eben: About as much as I love stale kibble.
/ Snooch: What's wrong? / [[Close-up of Ebenezer on couch washing himself and Snooch... http://twolumps.net/d/20091005.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer, on the couch, and Snooch, sitting wide-eyed on the floor, are waiting to see the kittens Mom promised to catsit in a prior strip]]
/ Mom off panel: You're here! Bring them on in!
/ Eben: Bah.
/ Snooch: Excellent! / Mom off panel: Oh, aren't you adorable?!
/ Snooch: C'mon! They'll be all bouncy... http://twolumps.net/d/20091007.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Two angry-looking kitten faces--in a previous strip Mom agreed to cat-sit for a friend]]
/ Ebenezer off-panel: So what are your names, troops?
/ First kitten: I am called Huginn.
/ Second kitten: And I am Muninn. / [[Ebenezer is on the couch looking down at the kittens, Snooch is cowering behind the... http://twolumps.net/d/20091009.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer threateningly approaches the two kittens Mom is cat-sitting]]
/ Eben: Hold it right there, you little whelps! Gross insubordination calls for corporal punishment!
/ First kitten: Pyramid position alpha!
/ Second kitten: Roger that! / [[Ebenezer sits back startled as the kittens perform a gymnastic... http://twolumps.net/d/20091012.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is lying on the couch, talking to one of the two kittens Mom is catsitting]]
/ Eben: Fine! I don't want any green recruits fouling up my mission anyway!
/ Kitten: It's cute how you still call it "your" mission. / Eben: You wouldn't dare!
/ Kitten: Try and stop us, old man.
/ Eben: I won't have... http://twolumps.net/d/20091014.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are sitting and talking. Eben looks disgruntled, Snooch is happy]]
/ Eben: We can't let the kittens take over! I'm going to need your backup on this.
/ Snooch: Aw, why? I mean, I was never really into that whole 'spiracy thing anyhow. / [[Ebenezer washes himself while Snooch perks... http://twolumps.net/d/20091016.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Mom is standing by the couch, pointing a finger at Ebenezer and Snooch, who are sitting in front of her]]
/ Mom: Boys, I can't believe you'd act out like that! And on my new carpet!
/ Eben: That was your big plan? Seriously?
/ Snooch: But I didn't-- / [[Close-up of Ebenezer and Snooch. Snooch looks totally... http://twolumps.net/d/20091019.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sitting with the two kittens Mom is catsitting]]
/ Eben: But... how...
/ Kitten: Fecal character assassination spec ops training. / Eben: ...but...
/ Kitten: You're behind the times, old man.
/ Eben: No, I mean how is that even physically POSSIBLE? / Kitten: Oh, training excercises you really... http://twolumps.net/d/20091021.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer are looking angry and talking to the two kittens Mom is cat-sitting]]
/ Eben: All right you little snots, we're not--
/ Kitten: Save it. We've been reassigned. Deploying in 15. / [[Snooch now looks happy, Eben is still angry]]
/ Snooch: Well, DARN!
/ Eben: Bah, you just mean your Mom... http://twolumps.net/d/20091023.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer are sitting on the couch. The kittens Mom was catsitting are leaving]]
/ Snooch: Well, there they go! You gonna miss them?
/ Eben: Not a bit. Insubordinate little backstabbers. / Snooch: I think you'll miss 'em! You're all misty-eyed!
/ Eben: Lies! I just have allergies!
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20091026.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer walks toward Snooch, who is sitting near a pile of CD cases and has a CD in his mouth]]
/ Eben: For the last time, you can't learn guitar by licking a Santana album.
/ Snooch: Naw, just noticin' that all these bands're named after food! / Eben: Do tell?
/ Snooch: Let's see... Black Eyed Peas,... http://twolumps.net/d/20091028.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is lying on his back, rear end facing the reader. An empty food bowl is next to him, crumbs scattered on the floor]]
/ Snooch: *burp* / [[Ebenezer sits staring at Snooch]]
/ Eben: Why... WHY are you eating so much today?
/ Snooch: If I get fat enough, I can play music while I sit on people! I... http://twolumps.net/d/20091030.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting, reading a book that's open on the floor. Ebenezer is half visible at the right edge of the panel]]
/ Snooch: Okay, Number one: TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation...
/ Eben: Whoa!! Hold the phone! What are you reading? / [[Ebenezer is now fully visible]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20091102.html |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20091104.html?ref=nf">http://twolumps.net/d/20091104.html?ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is walking past the couch where Ebenezer is trying to sleep]]
/ Snooch: Ha! Once again, I found an' ate all the extra candy!
/ Eben: Mom didn't buy candy this year, butternut.
/ Snooch: Did too! It was all gross an' dry though. / [[Eben glares at Snooch whose eyes are wide open in shock]]
/ Eben:... http://twolumps.net/d/20091106.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is walking]]
/ Eben: Solar energy, like all other energy, can be neither created nor destroyed. It can only be transferred from one state of being to another. / [[Ebenezer sits and stares at Snooch lazing on his side in a sunbeam]] / [[Ebenezer walks away from Snooch]]
/ Eben: It can, however,... http://twolumps.net/d/20091109.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer approaches Snooch, who is sitting and wearing a pink-and-white striped clown hat with a pink pom-pom on top]]
/ Eben: What in Eris's shoe rack?
/ Snooch: It's 11-11! Yer s'posed to make a wish! WOO! / Eben: First of all, that's 11:11 the TIME. And second, it's horsefeathers.
/ Snooch: It means... http://twolumps.net/d/20091111.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 >>