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| Two Lumps: The Adventures of Ebenezer and Snooch | [[Snooch laying on his side in front of the sofa with a full tummy]]
/ Eben: Snooch, mom just fed us. Why is the bowl empty?
/ Snooch: I have finally mastered the ancient chinese art of Flowing Wind. / Snooch: Rather than eating, I can now inhale my food. By focusing my stomach muscles and concentrating, I can literally pull an entire bowl of kibble into my mouth with a single breath. / [[Eben standing at Snooch's head, bristling with anger]]
/ Eben: You suck.
/ Snooch: Hai! http://twolumps.net/?=Zur%C3%BCck zum H%C3%A4ndler |
| Two Lumps: The Adventures of Ebenezer and Snooch | Snooch: STUPID 'PUTER!
/ Ebenezer: You've discovered it doesn't dispense ham? / Snooch: It won't let me in the innerneps! BOOGERY!
/ Ebenezer: Perhaps YOU should call TECH SUPPORT! / TS: Tech Support - how may I-
/ Snooch: MEER!!!
/ TS: Oh, good. You again. http://twolumps.net/?=Zur%C3%BCck%20zum%20H%C3%A4ndler |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben, sitting on a table, with Snooch's eyes and ears peeking up over the edge]]
/ Ebenezer: Greetings. You paltry ninnies may refer to me as Ebenezer Dusk, Esq. / [[Eben, now cleaning himself, Snooch's head retreated a little under the edge of the table, preparing to pounce]]
/ Ebenezer: I am a purebred Russian Blue, the ultimate housecat. You may as well start bowing right now. My brother, a slovenly git, and I were purchased by our Mom, a lowly human who fulfills my biddings for pettings and gooshy food. / [[Snooch flaps his arms wildly. Ebenezer bristles]]
/ Snooch: HEY BENNY! I JUST SAWS A BIRD ON THE
/ WINDOW AND IT WAS DOING LIKE THIS! YAY!
/ Ebenezer: Time to eat a chunk of your skull, Snooch. http://twolumps.net/d/20040316.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer twitching his tail]]
/ J. Grant: Hi, I'm J. Grant, and this is one of my girlfriend's cats, Ebenezer.
/ Ebenezer: Feed me. / [[Ebenezer dives for J.'s groin, with Snooch looking on]]
/ J. Grant: We're here to enterHOLY FUCK NOT MY BALLS!!!
/ Ebenezer: I said feed me, bitch. / {{Parody of the first "Garfield" cartoon, published 19 June 1978; J. Grant is drawn to resemble Jon Arbuckle, though of a later period.}} http://twolumps.net/d/20040317.html |
| Two Lumps | The sulkiness of a cat can be measured by their height in relation to their width. / slight sulk
/ [[Eben sitting, slightly hunched. A measure of his height and witch are shown off to the side: 8 high by 10 wide.]] / half sulk
/ [[Eben laying down, forepaws curled in front of him. Dimensions are 7 high by 14 wide.]] / full sulk
/ [[Eben laying flat. Dimensions are 2 high by 24 wide.]] / {{Copyright 2004 James L. Grant}} http://twolumps.net/d/20040319.html |
| Two Lumps | < http://twolumps.net/d/20040322.html |
| Two Lumps | Superscript: Cats are capable of holding conversations through tail-twitching motions. Observe: / [[Snooch and Ebenezer sit face-to-face, tails twitching]]
/ Superscript: What we see / Superscript: Translated
/ [[Snooch holds up signs saying "I'm going to eat" and "Your skull"]]
/ [[Ebenezer extends a middle toe, holding a sign with his tail that reads "Eat shit."]] http://twolumps.net/d/20040324.html |
| Two Lumps | [[The bottom of a closed door]] / Snooch (Offscreen): MOW! MOW! MOW! MOW! MOW!
/ Ebenezer (Offscreen): Snooch, what the hell are you making such a racket over? / [[A paw is shoved under the door]]
/ Snooch (Offscreen): Mom went behind the swingy wall and won't come out!
/ Ebenezer (Offscreen): Yes. She always shuts the door when she takes a bath.
/ Snooch: But I wants pettins!
/ Ebenezer: Well, have you tried squeezing under the door? / [[Another paw is shoved under the door]]
/ Snooch (Offscreen): Oooooh! That's a great idea, Eben! Thanks!
/ Ebenezer (Offscreen): Bwaha.
/ Snooch: What?
/ Ebenezer: Nothing. Carry on. http://twolumps.net/d/20040326.html |
| Two Lumps | [[The bottom of a door, under which two paws have been shoved]]
/ Snooch (offscreen): Okay, here I go! One... two... uh... FOUR! / [[Snooch shoves his head under the door, his eyes bulging out]]
/ Snooch: NYAAAAAAAAAARGH! / Snooch: Uh oh. / Snooch: Benny? I think I'm stuck.
/ Ebenezer (offscreen): Bah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Are those your EYELIDS I see?
/ Snooch: Help, Benny.
/ Ebenezer: Ha ha ha ha ha *thud* ha ha ha hee hee hee ha ha! http://twolumps.net/d/20040329.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch has shoved his head under a door and is stuck]] / Snooch: Eben, I really need help getting out of here.
/ Ebenezer (offscreen): Hee hee... okay, brother of mine, I'll help you out. / Snooch: Thanks. What's your plan?
/ Ebenezer: I'm going to bite down on your tail, and yank you back through the door. Ready? One... two... THRMPH! / [[Snooch's eyes bulge out even further]]
/ Snooch: EYAAARGH! STOP! STOP! STOP!
/ Ebenezer: What? What is it? / Snooch: MY EYEBALLS ARE CAUGHT ON THE DOOR!
/ Ebenezer: Oh, buWAH HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA! http://twolumps.net/d/20040331.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch has shoved his head under a door and is stuck. Ebenezer and mother are not seen.]] / Snooch: Oh, goody. Mom is getting out of the bath.
/ Ebenezer (offscreen): Oh, I can't wait to see how this plays out. / Snooch: Mow!
/ Mother: Snooch, how did you get intAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
/ <<*THUD*>> / Snooch: Benny, Mom just decided to take a nap.
/ Ebenezer (offscreen): Hee hee. Sucks to be you. http://twolumps.net/d/20040402.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is dumping a tray of noodles into his mouth]]
/ Snooch: Oh boy! Lasagna! I love lasagna! / [[Snooch dumps a huge pot of chili into his mouth]]
/ Snooch: Oh boy! Fifty gallons of chili! I love fifty gallons of chili! / [[An ACME cement truck is backed up and the pouring chute is in Snooch's mouth. Ebenezer sits to one side, unamused.]]
/ Snooch: Oh boy! Cement!
/ Ebenezer: Pig? Or a retarded pig? You decide! http://twolumps.net/d/20040405.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is dumping a tray of noodles into his mouth]]
/ Snooch: Oh boy! Lasagna! I love lasagna! / [[Snooch dumps a huge pot of chili into his mouth]]
/ Snooch: Oh boy! Fifty gallons of chili! I love fifty gallons of chili! / [[An ACME cement truck is backed up and the pouring chute is in Snooch's mouth. Ebenezer sits to one side, unamused.]]
/ Snooch: Oh boy! Cement!
/ Ebenezer: Pig? Or a retarded pig? You decide! http://twolumps.net/d/20040405.html |
| Two Lumps | [[The cats sit at a blackjack table. The dealer waits as Ebenezer studies his cards.]]
/ Ebenezer: Ah, Blackjack. The game of thinking gentlemen and cats alike. Let's see ... / [[As Ebenezer studies his hand, his tail whips about.]]
/ Ebenezer: The dealer has a hard 14, and I have a 16. Oh, decisions, decisions, decisions. Shall Lady Luck grace me with her ... / [[Ebenezer's tail bristles as Snooch, looking at his hand with eyebrows raised, shouts - ]]
/ Snooch: HIT ME!!! / [[Ebenezer's tail flies about as Snooch continues.]]
/ Ebenezer: You have a pair of queens, fucktard.
/ Snooch: HIT ME!!! HIT ME!!! HIT ME!!! HIT ME!!! http://twolumps.net/d/20040407.html |
| Two Lumps | [[The cats survey the roulette table from stools.]]
/ Ebenezer: Ah, roulette. The ultimate game of chaos. Entropy reigns supreme ...
/ Snooch: Ooooooo, I wants to play with the little ball! / [Bird's eye view. Ebenezer motions to the table, explaining the game.]]
/ Ebenezer: You can't play with the ball, moron. Pay attention. The numbers are all bettable. A single number pays 32 to 1 and a row pays 11 to 1. You can also play the corners ... / [[Snooch's eyes open wide.]]
/ Snooch: Oooooooo!
/ Ebenezer [[Tail whipping about.]]: Stop saying that, you sad excuse for a pile of owl shavings. / Snooch: No, I wants to bet the Ooooooooooo! / Ebenezer: That's called the "double zero".
/ Snooch: Okay! I wants to bet all my moneychips on it!
/ Ebenezer: You would. http://twolumps.net/d/20040409.html |
| Two Lumps | [[The cats survey the roulette table from stools.]]
/ Ebenezer: Ah, roulette. The ultimate game of chaos. Entropy reigns supreme ...
/ Snooch: Ooooooo, I wants to play with the little ball! / [Bird's eye view. Ebenezer motions to the table, explaining the game.]]
/ Ebenezer: You can't play with the ball, moron. Pay attention. The numbers are all bettable. A single number pays 32 to 1 and a row pays 11 to 1. You can also play the corners ... / [[Snooch's eyes open wide.]]
/ Snooch: Oooooooo!
/ Ebenezer [[Tail whipping about.]]: Stop saying that, you sad excuse for a pile of owl shavings. / Snooch: No, I wants to bet the Ooooooooooo! / Ebenezer: That's called the "double zero".
/ Snooch: Okay! I wants to bet all my moneychips on it!
/ Ebenezer: You would. http://twolumps.net/d/20040409.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer sit at a roulette table]]
/ Ebenezer: Okay, I have the five and nine corner, five on the 2nd block, and five on red. / Snooch [[Eyes wide, eyebrows lifted]]: Oooooooo!
/ Ebenezer [[Looking thoughtful, as his tail twitches]]: So I have my bases covered, and should stand to make some lucre if it...
/ Dealer: No more bets, please! / Dealer: Double zero!
/ Snooch: Oooooooo!
/ Ebenezer [[Ears back in anger]]: I hope you get hit by a garbage truck. http://twolumps.net/d/20040412.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer sit at a roulette table]]
/ Ebenezer: Okay, I have the five and nine corner, five on the 2nd block, and five on red. / Snooch [[Eyes wide, eyebrows lifted]]: Oooooooo!
/ Ebenezer [[Looking thoughtful, as his tail twitches]]: So I have my bases covered, and should stand to make some lucre if it...
/ Dealer: No more bets, please! / Dealer: Double zero!
/ Snooch: Oooooooo!
/ Ebenezer [[Ears back in anger]]: I hope you get hit by a garbage truck. http://twolumps.net/d/20040412.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer sit in front of the couch.]]
/ Snooch: The NASDAQ's up by two points! Time to run around the house! / [[Ebenezer looks at us, unamused, as Snooch disappears.]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040414.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sits on the bathroom counter, right next to the sink and above the toilet paper roll.]]
/ Ebenezer: Collecting data on these creatures cannot be stressed enough... I watch at all times, for it is my assignment. / [[A black and white x-ray drawing of Ebenezer's head shows us a computer chip on his spine. Transmission waves emit from him.]]
/ Ebenezer: Agent 9X calling mothership...
/ {{Title: Alien Transmitter Activated}} / [[Back to the view of him sitting on the counter.]]
/ Mom: Eben, why do you always watch me when I pee?
/ Ebenezer [[Tail twitching.]]: You would like to know, wouldn't you? http://twolumps.net/d/20040416.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sits on the bathroom counter, right next to the sink and above the toilet paper roll.]]
/ Ebenezer: Collecting data on these creatures cannot be stressed enough... I watch at all times, for it is my assignment. / [[A black and white x-ray drawing of Ebenezer's head shows us a computer chip on his spine. Transmission waves emit from him.]]
/ Ebenezer: Agent 9X calling mothership...
/ {{Title: Alien Transmitter Activated}} / [[Back to the view of him sitting on the counter.]]
/ Mom: Eben, why do you always watch me when I pee?
/ Ebenezer [[Tail twitching.]]: You would like to know, wouldn't you? http://twolumps.net/d/20040416.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer's tail peeks out of the end of a paper bag.]]
/ Ebenezer: This vault, the tomb of the pharoah Papyrus Bagamen, has lain undisturbed for the last 5000 years...
/ Today I, Ebenezer Threepwood, explore the mysteries of the ancients and shed light on... / [[Snooch lands hard on the bag, Eben's tail goes bottlebrush.]]
/ Snooch: 0WNED!!! / [[The bag is smashed, Snooch is gone, and Eben's tail is whipping about frantically.]]
/ Ebenezer: I bet Indiana Jones never had to put up with this kind of shit. http://twolumps.net/d/20040419.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sits at the edge of the bath, watching as Mom washes her knee.]]
/ Mom: Eben, why are you in here? I'm bathing!
/ Ebenezer: CAT'S LOG, STARDATE 24056.8: I have finally discovered how these creatures wash themselves, and it's not a sight for the squeamish. / [[Ebenezer picks his way along the edge as Snooch enters.]]
/ Ebenezer: These "humans" lack proper tongues for washing, and have to make do with synthetic, cloth-based ones...
/ Snooch: HEY, BENNY! I got a magic trick to show you!
/ Ebenezer [[Watching Mom intently]]: Not now, Snooch.
/ Snooch: I can make you all soapy by waving my paw! / [[Snooch begins to paw at Ebenezer as mom raises her hands in protest.]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040421.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sits at the edge of the bath, watching as Mom washes her knee.]]
/ Mom: Eben, why are you in here? I'm bathing!
/ Ebenezer: CAT'S LOG, STARDATE 24056.8: I have finally discovered how these creatures wash themselves, and it's not a sight for the squeamish. / [[Ebenezer picks his way along the edge as Snooch enters.]]
/ Ebenezer: These "humans" lack proper tongues for washing, and have to make do with synthetic, cloth-based ones...
/ Snooch: HEY, BENNY! I got a magic trick to show you!
/ Ebenezer [[Watching Mom intently]]: Not now, Snooch.
/ Snooch: I can make you all soapy by waving my paw! / [[Snooch begins to paw at Ebenezer as mom raises her hands in protest.]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040421.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer addresses the audience as Snooch, his back to us, throws up in the background.]]
/ Ebenezer: Greetings, members of our fine audience. As you can see, my dear obese brother gobbled up far too much kibble, and is busy puking his brains out. No great loss.
/ Snooch: < http://twolumps.net/d/20040423.html |
| Two Lumps | {{Title: Bad timing for a fart.}} / [[Ebenezer is licking himself between the hind legs.]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040426.html |
| Two Lumps | {{Title: Bad timing for a fart.}} / [[Ebenezer is licking himself between the hind legs.]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040426.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Close up on Snooch, his eyes huge and whiskers drooping as he looks up.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. / [[Zooming back, he is sitting, looking out a window.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. BIRD. / [[Zoom out further, he is looking out the window at a bird on the limb of a tree.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. / [[The bird preens.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. / [[The bird looks up as Ebenezer comes to the window.]]
/ Bird: Dude, what's his problem?
/ Ebenezer [[Glaring at Snooch with his ear pinned back]]: SHUT. UP.
/ Snooch: BIRD. http://twolumps.net/d/20040428.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Close up on Snooch, his eyes huge and whiskers drooping as he looks up.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. / [[Zooming back, he is sitting, looking out a window.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. BIRD. / [[Zoom out further, he is looking out the window at a bird on the limb of a tree.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. / [[The bird preens.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. / [[The bird looks up as Ebenezer comes to the window.]]
/ Bird: Dude, what's his problem?
/ Ebenezer [[Glaring at Snooch with his ear pinned back]]: SHUT. UP.
/ Snooch: BIRD. http://twolumps.net/d/20040428.html |
| Two Lumps | [[From the interior, Ebenezer looks at Snooch as he stares out the window at the bird on a tree branch outside.]]
/ Ebenezer: Snooch, are you stuck on repeat play or something?
/ Snooch: Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird.
/ Ebenezer: Yes, it's a bird. They're everywhere out there. / [[Outside view of the window. Snooch, his eyes huge, whiskers drooping, looks up at the bird while Eben glares at him with his ears pinned back, and the bird looks on.]]
/ Bird: Maybe you should smack him a little.
/ Snooch: Bird. Bird.
/ Ebenezer: I do. It doesn't help.
/ Snooch [[The words said so fast they overlap.]]: Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird.
/ Ebenezer: Snooch, what would you even do with a bird if you caught it? / [[Eben leaves as Snooch thinks and the bird preens.]] / [[The bird looks up.]]
/ Snooch: I would lick it for hours.
/ Ebenezer [[Off panel.]]: That's revolting. http://twolumps.net/d/20040430.html |
| Two Lumps | [[From the interior, Ebenezer looks at Snooch as he stares out the window at the bird on a tree branch outside.]]
/ Ebenezer: Snooch, are you stuck on repeat play or something?
/ Snooch: Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird.
/ Ebenezer: Yes, it's a bird. They're everywhere out there. / [[Outside view of the window. Snooch, his eyes huge, whiskers drooping, looks up at the bird while Eben glares at him with his ears pinned back, and the bird looks on.]]
/ Bird: Maybe you should smack him a little.
/ Snooch: Bird. Bird.
/ Ebenezer: I do. It doesn't help.
/ Snooch [[The words said so fast they overlap.]]: Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird.
/ Ebenezer: Snooch, what would you even do with a bird if you caught it? / [[Eben leaves as Snooch thinks and the bird preens.]] / [[The bird looks up.]]
/ Snooch: I would lick it for hours.
/ Ebenezer [[Off panel.]]: That's revolting. http://twolumps.net/d/20040430.html |
| Two Lumps | {{Title: AND NOW, EBEN AND SNOOCH IN: SUPER HAPPY CHIBI FUN TIME CIRCUIT NEKO TIME!}} / [[Two very round, chibi anime versions of Snooch and Ebenezer sit in the middle of a computer circuit background]] / Snooch: SUGOI!
/ Ebenezer: NANI? / Snooch: KAWAII!
/ Ebenezer [[Sweatdrop]]: BAKA! http://twolumps.net/d/20040503.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch sits atop the bookshelf, peering over the edge as his tail waves frantically. Ebenezer looks up from a nearby tabletop.]]
/ Snooch: I'm gonna getcha, ooooooh, you dead, gonna getcha ...
/ Ebenezer: Snooch, how did you get up on the bookshelf? / Snooch: DEATH FROM ABOVE!
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040505.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch sit in front of the couch.]]
/ Snooch: Mom's at work! Time to play in the TOOL DRAWER! / [[Eben stares dryly at the audience with his ears flattened in annoyance.]]
/ Snooch [[offscreen]]: TOOL DRAWER! TOOL DRAWER!
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040507.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch sit in front of the couch.]]
/ Snooch: Mom's at work! Time to play in the TOOL DRAWER! / [[Eben stares dryly at the audience with his ears flattened in annoyance.]]
/ Snooch [[offscreen]]: TOOL DRAWER! TOOL DRAWER!
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040507.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch sit in front of the couch.]]
/ Snooch: Mom's at work! Time to play in the TOOL DRAWER! / [[Eben stares dryly at the audience with his ears flattened in annoyance.]]
/ Snooch [[offscreen]]: TOOL DRAWER! TOOL DRAWER!
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040507.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: HEY EBEN! I CAUGHT A MOUSES!
/ Ebenezer: Good lord. That's not a... take that filthy thing out of your mouth, Snooch. / [[Snooch is still facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: NO WAY! This is MY mouse, and I'm gonna eat it!
/ Ebenezer [[Looking disgusted]]: Mice have four legs, Snooch. Not six.
/ Snooch: HA! Six is more than four!
/ Ebenezer: You're a moron. http://twolumps.net/d/20040510.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: HEY EBEN! I CAUGHT A MOUSES!
/ Ebenezer: Good lord. That's not a... take that filthy thing out of your mouth, Snooch. / [[Snooch is still facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: NO WAY! This is MY mouse, and I'm gonna eat it!
/ Ebenezer [[Looking disgusted]]: Mice have four legs, Snooch. Not six.
/ Snooch: HA! Six is more than four!
/ Ebenezer: You're a moron. http://twolumps.net/d/20040510.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: HEY EBEN! I CAUGHT A MOUSES!
/ Ebenezer: Good lord. That's not a... take that filthy thing out of your mouth, Snooch. / [[Snooch is still facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: NO WAY! This is MY mouse, and I'm gonna eat it!
/ Ebenezer [[Looking disgusted]]: Mice have four legs, Snooch. Not six.
/ Snooch: HA! Six is more than four!
/ Ebenezer: You're a moron. http://twolumps.net/d/20040510.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is gesturing with his paw to a tampon on the floor in front of him. Ebenezer is looking on with his ears pinned back.]]
/ Snooch: EBEN! Look what I just caught!
/ Ebenezer: Is that what I think it is?
/ Snooch: It's a MOUSE!
/ Ebenezer: <<*sigh*>> No, it isn't. / [[Snooch rolls on his back and tosses the tampon in the air.]]
/ Snooch: Looks like a mouse to me!
/ Ebenezer [[Walking off screen, only his hind quarters showing]]: Mice have legs, Snooch. That thing has no legs. http://twolumps.net/d/20040512.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is gesturing with his paw to a tampon on the floor in front of him. Ebenezer is looking on with his ears pinned back.]]
/ Snooch: EBEN! Look what I just caught!
/ Ebenezer: Is that what I think it is?
/ Snooch: It's a MOUSE!
/ Ebenezer: <<*sigh*>> No, it isn't. / [[Snooch rolls on his back and tosses the tampon in the air.]]
/ Snooch: Looks like a mouse to me!
/ Ebenezer [[Walking off screen, only his hind quarters showing]]: Mice have legs, Snooch. That thing has no legs. http://twolumps.net/d/20040512.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is gesturing with his paw to a tampon on the floor in front of him. Ebenezer is looking on with his ears pinned back.]]
/ Snooch: EBEN! Look what I just caught!
/ Ebenezer: Is that what I think it is?
/ Snooch: It's a MOUSE!
/ Ebenezer: <<*sigh*>> No, it isn't. / [[Snooch rolls on his back and tosses the tampon in the air.]]
/ Snooch: Looks like a mouse to me!
/ Ebenezer [[Walking off screen, only his hind quarters showing]]: Mice have legs, Snooch. That thing has no legs. http://twolumps.net/d/20040512.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch has his back to the reader, looking at a presentation board with a crude drawing of a mouse. The board is labeled Mouse, and the mouse's Ear and Tail are also labeled. Ebenezer sits to the side of the board, pointing to the mouse with a stick.]]
/ Ebenezer: Now pay attention, Snooch. This is a mouse. Note that a mouse has ears, and feet. Unlike a tampon.
/ Snooch: Okay. / Ebenezer: A mouse is also gray, and has a tail, unlike a cockroach.
/ Snooch: The enemy... the enemy is already here...
/ Ebenezer [[Glaring at Snooch]]: What? / [[Ebenezer and Snooch are fighting.]]
/ Ebenezer: I AM NOT A MOUSE!
/ Snooch: DIE! http://twolumps.net/d/20040514.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch has his back to the reader, looking at a presentation board with a crude drawing of a mouse. The board is labeled Mouse, and the mouse's Ear and Tail are also labeled. Ebenezer sits to the side of the board, pointing to the mouse with a stick.]]
/ Ebenezer: Now pay attention, Snooch. This is a mouse. Note that a mouse has ears, and feet. Unlike a tampon.
/ Snooch: Okay. / Ebenezer: A mouse is also gray, and has a tail, unlike a cockroach.
/ Snooch: The enemy... the enemy is already here...
/ Ebenezer [[Glaring at Snooch]]: What? / [[Ebenezer and Snooch are fighting.]]
/ Ebenezer: I AM NOT A MOUSE!
/ Snooch: DIE! http://twolumps.net/d/20040514.html |
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