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Two Lumps [[Snooch walks in frame, mad]] / Snooch: Razzum frazzum. Mom stole my ice cubes! / Benny: It... IS her icemaker, you know. / Snooch: Yeah, but it makes little wimpy cubes! So I dumped extra water in. / [[Benny looks very surprised]] / Benny: Tell me you didn't run a hose... / Snooch: Nah! I used that big jug of bottled water in the cupboard. / Benny: Mom doesn't keep any bottled-- / Mom: BLEAGGH! *ptu ptu* / Benny: So you made ice cubes that were half water, half white vinegar. / Snooch: Is that bad? / Benny: Congrats. You just invented the Douchetini.
http://twolumps.net/d/20110316.html
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110318.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110318.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110321.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110321.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110323.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110323.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110325.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110325.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110328.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110328.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
Two Lumps mom: AGH! i can't believe you guys sprayed in here! / eben: That's what she gets for leaving for the weekend. / snooch: word! / mom: Couldn't you at least do it somewhere obvious!? The house smells like a 4-room diaper! / eben: Where DID you end up spraying, anyway? / mom: I"ve cleaned everything THREE TIMES and it STILL reeks! AGGGH! / snooch{{smile}}: I peed in the cleanser spray bottle. / eben: I don't know whether to be impressed or terrified.
http://twolumps.net/d/20110330.html
Two Lumps mom: AGH! i can't believe you guys sprayed in here! / eben: That's what she gets for leaving for the weekend. / snooch: word! / mom: Couldn't you at least do it somewhere obvious!? The house smells like a 4-room diaper! / eben: Where DID you end up spraying, anyway? / mom: I"ve cleaned everything THREE TIMES and it STILL reeks! AGGGH! / snooch{{smile}}: I peed in the cleanser spray bottle. / eben: I don't know whether to be impressed or terrified.
http://twolumps.net/d/20110330.html
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110401.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110401.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110404.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110404.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110406.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110406.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110408.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110408.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110411.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110411.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110413.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110413.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110415.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110415.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110418.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110418.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 
Two Lumps (Skynet) Snooch [[behind couch, only tail showing]]: We're doomed. / Eb [[crossing in front of couch]]: Why are you hiding behind the couch? / Eb [[staring behind couch]]: Bast's nipples, you put all the gooshy food behind the couch? / Snooch [[still behind couch]]: Last night, Skynet went online. / Eb [[now also behind couch]]: Budge over. / Snooch [[still behind couch]]: Do you think John Connor will pet us?
http://twolumps.net/d/20110420.html
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110422.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110422.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110423.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110423.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110425.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110425.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110427.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110427.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 
a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20110429.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20110429.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
Two Lumps [[Ebenezer looks at Snooch, who is not visible. Snooch is saying something in Japanese]] / Snooch: Ten no sankou ni mi wo atatame, chi no gokoku ni tamashii wo yashinau. / Snooch: Mina kore Honbutsu no jihi nari. Tatoe itteki no mizu, hitotsubu no kome mo kudoku to kouku ni yorazaru koto nashi. / [[Ebenezer walks toward Snooch]] / [[Ebenezer looks at Snooch, who is dressed in Japanese clothing]] / Ebenzer: Praying for food in Japanese will not make mom feed us sushi, you moron. / Snooch: Urusai!
http://twolumps.net/d/20110502.html
Two Lumps Eben: Whatcha got, hottentot? / Snooch: Mom got this new stuff! It's MEAT! In a bottle! / Eben: The label says "MEAD". It's a wine-like drink made from honey and herbs and rocket-fuel and trapezoids and you're not even listening, are you? / Snooch: <> / Eben: And what did we learn today? / Snooch: ...meat inna bottle makes the world go sideways. IT'S MAGIC!
http://twolumps.net/d/20110504.html
Two Lumps [[Snooch is sitting with a Japanese bandanna over his eyes. 5 Beer bottles are to his right]] / Snooch: Beer, beer beer, beer, beer. / [[Now there are 12 bottles to his right]] / Snooch: Beer beer beer, beer beer, beer beer. / [[Zoomed in so you only see him, 3 bottles, and the cut-off edge of a bottle. Benny sticks his head in frame]] / Snooch: Beer, beer beer-- / Benny: That is NOT a real Haiku. / Snooch: ...is too.
http://twolumps.net/d/20110506.html
Two Lumps [[Snooch is eying a plate of salmon and some eggs, with oogly eyes]] / [[Benny comes in frame]] / Benny: That salmon is MOM's dinner, Snooch. Our salmon dinner will be later, from a can of gooshy food. / [[Snooch's eyes go back to normal]] / [[Snooch has gotten back down so just his tail is poking up over the edge of the table. The salmon is also gone from the table]] / Snooch: Nah, she can have mine. *nomf* *nomf*
http://twolumps.net/d/20110509.html
 
Two Lumps [[Snooch is looking at the computer, looks upset]] / Snooch: ZOMG! Mother's Day was LAST Sunday? I forgot to give her her gift! / Ebenezer: No big deal. She didn't actually give birth to us, you know. / [[Snooch looks angrily at Ebenezer]] / Snooch: It's Mom's Day. She's Mom. The End. / Ebenezer: OK, OK. Why not just save the gift for next year? / Snooch: Well f'r one thing, that dead mouse will be tot'ly mummified by then! / Ebenezer: Ever considered NOT "saying it with corpses"?
http://twolumps.net/d/20110511.html
Two Lumps Firefly: OK, so: The number 5, he's decided, equals "atonement." Ten is "completeness." Seventeen means "heaven." Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D. Go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that's 1,978 years. Multiply 1,978 by 365.2422 days, the number of days in each solar year. added all this up and he got May 21, 2011. / Firefly: An astronomical stretch, if you ask me. Don't see why people are buying it. / [[Snooch is looking at Firefly]] / Firefy: Good talking with ya, cat. I gotta bounce. Later. / [[Snooch stares blankly]] / [[Snooch's eyes bug out]] / Snooch: Man that firefly was pretty bright. / [[Ebenezer looks exasperated]] / Ebenezer: I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU SIT.
http://twolumps.net/d/20110513.html
Two Lumps THE ADVENTURES OF DR. EBENEZER VON MOUSTACHIO AND CAPTAIN "SNOOCH" McMONOCLE / Chapter 151: Dodging the Depths of Dionysus / [[Steampunk airship]] / Dr. Ebenezer von Moustachio: Forward the airship! / Captain "Snooch" McMonocle: Why's it called an "airship", anyway? It's full of helium, not air. / [[Inside the airship]] / Dr. Ebenezer: Because it travels through the air, as a ship does through water. / Captain Snooch: But what of the new fixed-wing aircraft? They should have a new name, being so different. / Captain Snooch: I've got it! Velocigliders! / Dr. Ebenezer: Stop wasting thoughts on it, Captain. They're but a passing fad that will soon be forgotten. / Next: The Return of the Clockwork Gerbils!
http://twolumps.net/d/20110516.html
Two Lumps [[Snooch wakes up on the couch next to Ebenezer]] / Snooch: WO! / Ebenezer: Zzwha? / Snooch: Ever had one of those dreams that seemed totally real? / Ebenezer: Ah yes. They can really mess with your head for a while. / Snooch: Nah, that's silly! / [[Snooch jumps off couch]] / Ebenezer: Where're you going? / [[Snooch walks away]] / Snooch: I hafta hide all the radioactive ice cream in the coat closet before the alien squirrels show up, DUH. / Ebenezer: Get back here, fuzzbrain.
http://twolumps.net/d/20110518.html
Two Lumps [[Snooch looks at Ebenezer]] / Snooch: So how c'n I tell dreams are messin' with my head? / Ebenezer: Watch for something utterly ridiculous, like alien squirrels. / Snooch: So whadda I do when I figg'r it out? / Ebenezer: I find that taking another nap helps clear it out. / Next up: Celebrity Extreme Desert Island Dance Contest, Season Eight! / Snooch: Welp! Back to bed for a week. / Ebenezer: GET BACK HERE.
http://twolumps.net/d/20110520.html
 

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