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diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Charles: Lads, may I offer you some Pocky? / Metal Steve: Yay, snacks! I love our men's club meetings. / Indie Rock Pete: Pocky is physical proof that I am a man. / [[Picture of Glico's Men's Pocky.]] / Narrator: Time passes as our protagonists enjoy crispy pretzels dipped in dark chocolate for intelligent...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Metal Steve: Have you ever peed your name in the snow? / Indie Rock Pete: Of course not! How infantile. / Indie Rock Pete: Though I once pooped in a girl's front yard after she dumped me. / Metal Steve: That sounds satisfying. / Indie Rock Pete: I forgot to bring toilet paper. / Eve: Why do we need...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Eve: Boys are weird. / Lil' Sis: If agreeing with you equaled "X", I'd say X^10. / Lil' Sis: Earth would be such a better place if we wiped out all the men. / Eve: At least there'd be a golden age of ladies before mankind died out. / Lil' Sis: Why would humanity have to die out? / Lil' Sis: We'd just...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Indie Rock Pete: Hey there sexy, single, and ladyish. / Maura: Yo, Indie Rock Pete. / Indie Rock Pete: You should come to my house and make sweet, grinding noise with my new guitar pedal. / Maura: I don't date musicians. They're too egotistical. / Indie Rock Pete: It's cool. I'm not actually a musician....
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Indie Rock Pete: Art! / Red Robot #C-63: Commerce! / Indie Rock Pete: ART! / Red Robot #C-63: COMMERCE! / Indie Rock Pete: Surely even you can agree that pure, artistic creativity is superior to crass commercialism. / Red Robot #C-63: My philosophy can buy and sell your philosophy a thousand times...
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Indie Rock Pete: I have a theory. / Lil' Sis: Oh, yeah? Regale me. / Indie Rock Pete: I don't think that anyone who honestly remembers being a teenager actually likes "teenage movies". / Indie Rock Pete: Why would anyone who lived through all that awkwardness want to remember it? / [[silence]] / Lil'...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Lil' Sis: Why do you have to be such a jagged little pill? Some of us liked high school. / Indie Rock Pete: Some of us actually graduated high school. / Indie Rock Pete: Some of us are actually drinking age. / Maura: Some of us are drunk!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Clango frowns]] / Pale Suzie: Hey there tall, dark, and banned by various international treaties... I'd like a closer look at your atomic pile some time. / Menace-11: !!! / Pale Suzie: You said you were cool with me hitting on dudes as long as I didn't lie to you. / Clango: I cannot help being a b...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Eve: How's tricks with the new girl, Clango? / Clango: She's real sweet, just a little... / Clango: Non-traditional. / Eve: My friend, the only good traditions are fertility rites. / Clango: Her bedroom is like a Google image search with safe-mode turned off.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Metal Steve: Masculinity is a death sentence. / Metal Steve: Drive real fast! Eat red meat! Play with guns! / Metal Steve: Battle rival tribes with crude stone axes! Bone every girl you meet! / Metal Steve: The only way to survive in this game is not to play. / Metal Steve: The only way to win this...
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Charles: Did you see the new Star Wars trailer? Wasn't it awesome?! / Indie Rock Pete: Feh. / Indie Rock Pete: Lucas' trailers are always great but the movies always suck! / [[Charles' head temporarily changes into Darth Maul's]] / Charles: You complain, but I bet you still go see it.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Maura: Love is like a can of paint. / Maura: It smells great when it's fresh. / Maura: It can change the color of most anything. / Maura: You just gotta scrape the dirt off first or it ain't gonna stick long.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Indie Rock Pete: Yo, I'm hip. I'm down. / Lil' Sis: Of course you are. / Lil' Sis: When I think of you and 'hip' in the same sentence, one word comes to mind. / Indie Rock Pete: You and the rest of the hot ladies. / Lil' Sis: Osteoporosis.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Eve blows smoke into Metal Steve's face]] / Metal Steve: *cough* / Eve: I can't smoke indoors, but people can still drive cars wherever they want. / Eve: It's not fair. / Eve: I mean, who's to say one form of carbon monoxide is morally superior to another? / Eve: It's like eating fish and claiming...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Metal Steve: Do you always have to act so big and bad? / Eve: Of course! I'm the biggest J.D. since Salinger. / Metal Steve: A bullet didn't kill John Lennon. It was that pun. / Eve: What, you don't like intelligent women? / Metal Steve: What? I uh... / Indie Rock Pete: Of course he does! / Indie...
 
Double Ended Body Mod [[Pale Suzie and Clango are talking]] / Pale Suzie: Honey, can I hack a little chunk of metal off your body? / [[Clango looks shocked.]] / [[Both consider the idea.]] / Pale Suzie: Not like that! I want another body piercing. / Pale Suzie: THis way you can always be with me. / [[Clango grins.]]
If it hurts, it counts. [[Pale Suzie and Clango are talking.]] / Clango: How many body piercings do you have anyway?? / [[Suzie arches her right eyebrow]] / Suzie: Three-wait-no. Eleven. / Suzie: Eleven if we're counting earrings. / Clango: Of course we are. If it hurts, it counts. / Clango: If it never heals, it counts...
Mortality is a Boner [[Maura is talking to Metal Steve, both look nonplussed]] / Maura: I've been spending a lot of time alone lately. / Maura: I figured out a lot of things about myself. / Steve: Tell me something profound, my pornstar sensei. / Maura: True wisdom is realizing you will not always have a hot ass to...
Coppin' a Collar [[Maura is talking to Metal Steve, both look nonplussed]] / Maura: I need to find something new to do. / Maura: A new job or maybe school. More drugs. Something. Anything! / Maura: Making porn has grown old to me. / [[Maura is suddenly an old woman with a bun and stiff-collared dress]] / Maura:...
Movtive Missive Red Robot: Hu-mans think they are so much better than us. / Clango: True dat. / Red Robot: What have they got that I don't? / Clango: Souls, they claim. / Red Robot: Yeah, well I have anger. / Red Robot: Anger is like a soul that gets things accomplished.
 
The Malodorous Projector Red Robot: Don't give me that look. / Clango: What look? / Red Robot: You desire advice regarding emotions that this unit does not have. / Clango: Red Robot, you're pretty empathetic for a creature supposedly driven by rage. / Red Robot: I can sniff the tush of hu-man weakness from a mile away.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Eve: Hey Maura. You busy? / Maura: Nope. Nor am I terribly likely to be. / Eve: You wanna hang out? / Maura: Not really. / Eve: Grumpy, grumpy, thighs are lumpy! / Maura: Don't you have someplace to be? / Eve: According to classical physics, I sure do! / Eve: But current quantum theory makes that...
dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1192 Eve: Are you depressed? / Maura: I don't believe in depression. / Maura: People use labels like that as an excuse to get stuck in ruts. / Maura: I prefer to think of myself as "between binges." / Maura: Care to join me for Girl Scout cookies & vodka?
Wavelengths of Judgement Indie Rock Pete: Ugh, radio. / computer: Nuts to you, Mr. Elitist. / radio: Tra-la-la generic love song. / Indie Rock Pete: Radio is such crap. / computer: Radio is important. / computer: Radio is to modern man what a campfire was to cavemen. / computer: It keeps us warm inside when we're alone...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Indie Rock Pete smiling with a huge condom over his head]] / Lil' Sis: Are you doing something different with your hair? / [[Indie Rock Pete no longer smiling]] / Lil' Sis: It's worse. / [[Lil' Sis looking pissed, Indie Rock Pete smirking]] / Indie Rock Pete: This is my special hat for talking to slutty...
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Electron Mike: You robots are a bad influence. / Electron Mike: Once-pretty girls have become food processing units in my eyes, steps in an ecological cycle. / Electron Mike: Kissing has become a slow, sad dance of frictional coefficients and relative warmth. / Electron Mike: I blame you for being...
Terrible Cruller Lizards Evil Donut-Triceratops Beast: I am the ghost of the gasoline in your car! Repent your evil ways! / Pale Suzie: Eep! / Clango: Honey, did you have a bad dream? / Pale Suzie: Let's go out for donuts. I'll drive.
Wafflingus Pale Suzie: This may be even BETTER than donuts. / Clango: Hooray for midnight breakfast and early morning sexcapades! / Pale Suzie: Why does everything taste better at the wrong time of day? / Clango: Rebellious tongues? / Clango: I gotta go make like 'Calvin' now and 'pee' on 'terrorism.' / Pale Suzie:...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Sitting in a restaurant]] / Off Panel: I don't see it as 'indecent exposure.' Not exactly. / Off Panel: I see it more as sharing my joy with the world! / Off Panel: Representing on the streets for the beauty of nature, you dig? / Off Panel: My foreskin has a posse. / Pale Suzie: Check, please. / {{title...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Maura thinks of a crab, indicating crabbiness.]] / Eve: Somebody's got their cranky-pants on too tight today. / Maura: It happens. They were mail-order. / Eve: Wanna make out? / Maura: I'm not sure I like girls. Are you a girl?
 

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