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diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Let Me See You With My Own Eyes"}} / [[Red Robot and Eve are talking]] / Red Robot: IMAGINE THE MOST DELICIOUS MEAL YOU EVER TASTED. / Eve: I miss that girl. / Red Robot: NOW REMEMBER THE MOST GENTLE BREEZE YOU'VE EVER FELT. / Eve: Beans! / Red Robot: NOW CONSIDER THE TOUCH OF A LOVER'S HAND. / Eve:...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Gentrification X"}} / [[Lil' Sis and Indie Rock Pete are talking]] / Sis: I'm bored. / Pete: And this is somehow MY problem? / Sis: I hate it here. There's never anything fun to do. / Pete: So move to the city! You're barely legal. / Sis: I can't do that. I've got too much family here. / Pete:...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Lil' Sis: If New York is so great, why don't *you* move there? / Lil' Sis: I bet you could even be roommates with Spider-Man! You're the best loser I know. / Indie Rock Pete: I *love* New York! I'm more "New York" than a Middle Finger! / Indie Rock Pete: It's just that being an obscure artistic genius,...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Your Best In-Equalities"}} / [[Metal Steve and Pale Suzie are talking]] / Steve: Can I ask a stupid question? / Suzie: There are no stupid questions, only annoying ones. / Steve: Do you have a favorite breast? / Suzie: Of the two that are attached to me? / Suzie: I find the smaller one to...
#1234: The Bridges of Briscoe County, Jr. Metal Steve: Do you name your breasts? / Pale Suzie: Sigh. / Pale Suzie: Y'know, you *used* to be my favorite male friend. / Metal Steve: I know what I'd name *my* breasts if I had a pair. / Metal Steve: Tee hee! / Metal Steve: Exhibit "A" for the defense, and exhibit "B" for the prosecution. / Pale...
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"I Did A Lot Of Peyo In My Younger Years, Purely For Religious Purposes."}} / [[Metal Steve and Pale Suzie are talking]] / Suzie: Turnabout is fair play. You want to name my breasts, I'm gonna name your testicles. / Steve: Um. / Suzie: You already named them, didn't you? / Steve: Maybe? / Suzie:...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Four-Minute Mile of Shame"}} / [[Clango and Indie Rock Pete are talking]] / Clango: Readysetgo! / Pete: A good song by that band is rarer than a good-looking bassist. / Pete: Their singer thinks he's so "scene" but he's not even in the script. / Pete: Song writing so stale, it makes the Spin...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Lil Sis: I made you a mix CD. / Indie Rock Pete: Umm, thanks? / Lil Sis: Don't be too grateful. / Indie Rock Pete: Ingratitude is my gift. / Lil Sis: You know, most people give a mix CD to someone they 'like'.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"A Murder of Crowbars"}} / [[Lil' Sis and Indie Rock Pete are talking]] / Sis: I like you. / Pete: You LIKE me? / Sis: You're an arrogant prick, but at least you're confident. / Sis: Most guys my age are spineless and immature. / Pete: I can't believe this. I don't know what to say. / [[Sis...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Phil Collins' Rabbit Pellets"}} / [[Maura is sitting on a toilet in a stall]] / Maura: I hate pooping in a restaurant. / Maura: Soft music and sphincter action DO NOT MIX. / Maura: I am not here to be soothed like a baby. / [[Cut to Ali standing by a sink, outside the stall]] / Maura: Some...
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Tastes Great, Less Bleeding"}} / [[Ali and Metal Steve are talking]] / Ali: Thanks for de-virusing my computer, Metal Steve. / Steve: Yay! I am useful to a girl. / Ali: Care for a snack? / Steve: Snacks...to the MAXX! / Ali: How about some carob chip cookies? / Steve: Ew, gross! Short bus...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"What's In A Name? (Besides An Insult)"}} / [[Lil Sis' and Indie Rock Pete are talking]] / Pete: Your secret's out. I know you're hot for my pong paddle. / Pete: What say you let me diddle your middle? / Sis: PETER GAYLORD WEINER! / Sis: You dirty, no-good excuse for a vegan! I said no such...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Bringing Work Home With You (To The Meat Locker)"}} / [[Red Robot and Maura, beer in hand, are talking]] / Red Robot: CRUSH ALL HU-MANS! / Maura: Work, Work, WORK! All you talk about is your work. / Red Robot: I LOVE MY WORK. / Maura: There's more to life than work, you know. / Red Robot: ...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Red Robot and Maura stand facing each other on a red background]] / Red Robot: RUN ALONG, FLESHY FEMALE. DO NOT FORCE THIS UNIT TO CRUSH YOU / [[Red Robot and Maura stand facing each other on a slightly pinker background]] / Maura: CONDESCENDING {{emphasis}}AND{{end emphasis}} MERCIFUL... CHIVALRY REALLY...
diesel sweeties 1244: "Dr. Feelgood's Motley Hearts Club Bland" Clango: Um, Why are we waiting in this huge line again? / Indie Rock Pete: Dude, we are not just waiting in line, we're standing on queue for Motley Crue Tickets! / Clango: Why can't we go wait in that other line? It's shorter! / Indie Rock Pete: That's the sincere line. / Indie Rock Pete: We're in...
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Clango: Why are you spending money to see a band that you don't even like? / Indie Rock Pete: Because it's ironic! / Clango: Sounds like a waste of hard-earned money. / Indie Rock Pete: Nah-- I took it from my mom. Besides, it's hip to love cheese. / Indie Rock Pete: Why do ya think kids love bad...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Scooter Gang"}} / [[Red Robot and Maura are talking]] / Red Robot: THIS UNIT WILL NOT CHANGE FOR A WOMAN. / Red Robot: I WILL NOT BETRAY MY PROGRAMMING FOR HEAVY PETTING. / Maura: Who's asking you to change? / Maura: I'm certainly not asking you to change. / Maura: I'm sick of nice guys....
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"No One Cool Tells The Truth"}} / [[Clango and Indie Rock Pete are talking]] / Pete: Irony is the new sincerity. / Clango: That is insincere and terrible and depressing. / Pete: And true. / Clango: Can't people just like what they LIKE? / Pete: Only if you want to look like a dork. / Pete:...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Know When To Run"}} / [[Clango and Indie Rock Pete are talking]] / Clango: You really think the only way to be cool is to LIE to people? / Clango: No wonder you're always unhappy. / Pete: I believe that truth is a relative concept. / Pete: Ergo, one must be careful to know when to hold 'em...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"State of the Art Genitals"}} / [[Red Robot and Maura are talking]] / Red Robot: CRUSH ALL HU-MANS! / Maura: Y'know, I may have heard you say that before. / Maura: I have a theory about you and all your rage / Maura: I bet that under all that childish fury is a passionate lover / Red Robot: ...
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Syrup-Ticious"}} / [[Maura and Red Robot are in a field, talking at Metal Steve]] / Maura: Go get 'em, Tiger! Bring me back a finger. / Red Robot: OBJECTIVE: IMPRESS HOT GIRL. METHOD: ACT UP, USE VIOLENCE AND CUSS. / [[Maura by herself]] / Maura: I sure do love to bully by proxy. / [[Red Robot...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Pinch A Loaf, I'm Dreaming"}} / [[Clango is talking to John Stamos, the kitten. Johnny Toaster is on the counter]] / Clango: Meow meow! Hey, kitten. Is something scaring you? / John: Mew! / [[Clango and Stamos look at Johnny Toaster, which has smoke issuing from it.]] / Clango: You're worried...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Compassion Is Your Weakness, Mr. Wayne"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete and Clango are talking]] / Pete: Where's your girlfriend? / Clango: I haven't seen her for a few days. / Pete: Can you give her a message from me when you see her? / Clango: Are canadians polite? I'd be happy to. / Pete: Just...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Rooftop Rendezvoushe"}} / [[ Clango is climbing a ladder to the rooftop that Pale Suzie is standing on]] / Clango: Permission to come aboard, Cap'n Suzie? / Suzie: Granted, Yeoman Cyclotron. / Clango: I love it up here on the roof. / Suzie: Me too. / [[Clango and Suzie embrace]] / Suzie: It's...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"The Red Hood Is Actually Her Most Sensitive Spot" / The title to this one is the worst kind of obscure in-joke pun. Sorry.}} / [[Clango and Pale Suzie are talking on a roof-top]] / Clango: I thought I'd find you up here. / Suzie: How utterly deduct-tastic of you. / Clango: Rough day? / Suzie: ...
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Never Send A Prostitute To Do A Whore's Job"}} / [[Eve, dressed in a hoodie, looks daggers at a smiling Maura]] / Eve: I saw you kissing Red Robot today. / Eve: I thought that you loved me. / Maura: Why, because I slept with you? How adorably idealistic. / Maura: Date a porn star, you might...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Crude Refinery"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete and Metal Steve are talking]] / Pete: Will you QUIT calling me gay? / Steve: What, you're not happy? / Pete: I hate you. / Steve: Hee hee! / [[Cut to Lil' Sis and Pale Suzie, observing the boys]] / Suzie: Why do we need boys again? / Sis: Boys are the unstable...
diesel sweeties 1257: "D.I.Y." Clango: Do you know how to spay a kitten? / Clango: My little one won't stop yowling at night and I think it's time to get her fixed. / Clango: I found directions for how to do it on the internet, but I don't have the right tools. / Goth girl: You can't do home surgery on a pet. That's gross and probably...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Nothing More Than Feelings"}} / [[Eve, wearing a hoodie, and Maura are talking]] / Eve: Thank you for breaking my heart. / Maura: Thank me for by getting over it! / Eve: I was wrong about you. You ARE as bad as everyone says / Eve: Do you even HAVE feelings anymore? / Maura: Ive got oodles...
diesel sweeties 1259: "A Love Letter to Scott Kurtz" Indie Rock Pete: You need to stop using the word 'gay' as an insult. / Indie Rock Pete: That's seriously not cool. / Metal Steve: Jeez, I didn't mean anything by it. / Metal Steve: My big brother just used to say it a lot when we were little. / Indie Rock Pete: Good ol' Carl, the eleventh-grade drop-out. / Metal...
 

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