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| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: Nine feet tall and full of sex than a jelly donut? / Charles: That's why I miss Canadian girls so much.
/ Clango: How bad is your aim? / Charles: Fun fact! The sheer size of the average Canadian is why we let the U.S. develop the first atom bomb. / Charles: We make Dutch look like Hobbits.
/ Clango:... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1410 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Pete: Buy a man an iPod and he can listen to music for 8 hours. / Pete: But buy a man a guitar and he can annoy his neighbors for a lifetime! / Pete: We should start a band.
/ Steve: No, we shouldn't. / Steve: You're lazy and I don't have any musical talent. / Pete: So? Lazy is the new brilliant. / [[Steve... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1411 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Metal Steve: you seem different somehow.
/ Maura: i got an anal bleaching last friday. / / Maura: oh! you mean i'm not drunk. / Metal Steve: why...would you do that to yourself?
/ Maura: instant self-esteem! / Metal Steve: the secret to being happy is a bright pink asterisk? / Maura: inner peace... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1412 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura: I like to make things harder for myself.
/ Indie Rock Pete: Hence the career in porno! / Maura: You're so funny, your star sign is 'Bob Saget-tarius.' / Indie Rock Pete: Is that better or worse than 'So funny I forgot to laugh'? / Maura: Worse. It's not even on the same sitcom. / Maura:... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1413 |
| SMOKING IN THE GHOUL'S ROOM | PALE SUZIE: CIGARETTES AND CORPSES.
/ EVE: WELCOME TO THE NIHILIST DISNEY WORLD!
/ EVE: THIS IS MY MOST MEANINGLESS BIRTHDAY EVER. THANK YOU. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1414 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1415 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: only what you bring with you}}
/ [[Clango and Maura are lying together in bed]]
/ Maura: I just had the weirdest, least sexy dream! / Maura: I got too drunk, cheated on you, & you HATED me! / Maura: In the immortal words of Timmy Feathers, the sex advice chicken: / Maura: "Awk, Awk, Awkward!" / Clango:... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1416 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Title: Freakin' All the Ladies 'Tween the Tigris & Euphrates / Maura: I keep having nightmares.
/ Lil' Sis: Guilty conscience? / Maura: That's a fine theory, but I'd never admit it in a court of law. / Lil' Sis: You're a regular ginger-coiffed Saddam, sister. / Maura: He and I are more alike than... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1417 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Maura and Lil' Sis are talking to each other]]
/ Maura: I never thought I'd admit it, but I think I'm lonely. / Maura: I'm just not good at being by myself.
/ Lil' Sis: Fie on thee! Poo on you! / Lil' Sis: Since when do YOU need a boyfriend to be happy? / Lil' Sis: Learn a skill! Read a book! Be good... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1418 |
| Cards are a Waste of Money, Part One | Card: Hey Nihilist! Since life is ultimately meaningless...
/ Card: Will you be my Valentine? / Pete: What do you think?
/ Steve: Kind of pathetic. / Pete: Sweet! Do you think it'll work on her?
/ Steve: I sure hope not. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1419 |
| Cards Are A Waste of Money, Part Two | [[Clango gives Pale Suzie a heart-shaped valentine]] / Pale Suzie: Another card? You spoil me. / Clango: So rotten no one else can eat you! / [[Close-up of the card]] / Card: Our love is like a honey-baked ham: pink, salty, and unclean in the eyes of the lord. / [[Stink lines waft from the card... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1420 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Cards are a waste of money, part three}}
/ [[Sweetie, let's "stay in" this Valientine's Day...]]
/ Radio: Each week on the program, we pick a theme. This week: Nipple Clamps.
/ [[...and listen to NPR in bed]]
/ Charles: That might be the nerdiest card ever.
/ Lil' Sis: Ummm...
/ [[hey sexy! do you want to... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1421 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: The Theobromine Compromise}}
/ [[It's Valentine's Day. Indie Rock Pete gives a red heart to Vegan Chick]]
/ [[Indie Rock Pete]] - Are they make-out worthy ?
/ [[Vegan Chick]] - What *are* they ?
/ [[Indie Rock Pete]] - Carob hearts! Vegetarian, yet slightly tasty.
/ [[Vegan Chick]] ... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1422 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Lil' Sis: Come back here! I'm not done being offended!
/ Indie Rock Pete: Grr. / Indie Rock Pete: Stupid corn-fed, free-range angry vegans. / Indie Rock Pete: I am gonna go eat food that was fed to other food just to get her goat. / Indie Rock Pete: We'll see how cruelty-free she feels when she's directly... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1423 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: These Pipes are Clean!}}
/ [[Indie Rock Pete and Maura Glee sharing a booth in a diner, bacon and eggs on their plates]] / Hork, hork, hork! I loves my pork.
/ True poetry for the ages. / Do you ever eat vegetables?
/ Of course! Especially when aged for ten years and poured over ice. / Vegetables... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1424 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Red Robot #C-63: Machines solve problems. Hu-mans create problems. / Red Robot: This unit is proud to be a machine.
/ Pale Suzie: Me too! / Red Robot: Bah! You are too weak and squishy to be a machine.
/ Suzie: Oh? / Suzie: I ingest matter for fuel, then convert it into energy to do work. / Suzie:... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1425 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Pale Suzie is addressing Red Robot]] / Pale Suzie: No wonder you're so angry, being trapped in that metal shell. / Pale Suzie: You will never know the scent of hot fudge on a lady's midriff. / Pale Suzie: Or the refreshing stink of a bowel well-emptied. / Pale Suzie: Or the delicate fragrance of... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1426 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Nipples The Bear: I LOST MY JOB DRAWING SEXY COMICS ABOUT WEREWOLVES. / Nipples: SO I'M GONNA TRY BEING A BIRTHDAY CLOWN INSTEAD! / Metal Steve: I GUESS YOU ALREADY HAVE TO NOTIFY PARENTS WHEN YOU MOVE TO TOWN ANYWAY. / Nipples: TERMS OF PROBATION- OR PERFECT MARKETING OPPORTUNITY? / [[Both characters... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1427 |
| diesel sweeties: It's called | Nipples the Bear: If George W. Bush had an indie rock band, what would it be called? / Nipples the Bear: "Pretty Girls make Abu-Ghraibs"
/ Metal Steve: Ugh. / Nipples the Bear: Hee hee hee! How about another one? / Nipples the Bear: What do The Notorious B.I.G. and Joseph Stalin have in common? / Nipples... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1428 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura Glee: I'm so lonely.
/ Pale Suzie: I'm having a fondue party! / Maura Glee: So lonely, I could cry.
/ Pale Suie: I like cheese! It's MELTY! / Maura Glee: I need a purpose in life.
/ Pale Suzie: I'll mark you down to bring the napkins. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1429 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Pale Suzie: HEY, STINKYBUTT POOPY-NIPPLES! / Indie Rock Pete: WHAT'S UP, BOOMBASTIC VAG-I-TASTIC? / Pale Suzie: I'M HAVING A PARTY AND YOU'RE INVITED.
/ Indie Rock Pete: REALLY? YOU WANT ME THERE? / Pale Suzie: OF COURSE! YOU'RE STILL MY FRIEND.
/ Indie Rock Pete: OH. / Pale Suzie: WHAT?
/ Indie Rock... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1430 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title: Solitary Man}} / Pale Suzie: Why do you have to be a jerk when someone is nice to you? / Indie Rock Pete: It's what I do. [[Red]] It's who I am! / Pale Suzie: Sigh.
/ Indie Rock Pete: Being a jerk is how I assert my individuality! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1431 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: Punch Bowl Cliffhanger}}
/ Pale Suzie: You don't want to come to my party? FINE. / Pale Suzie: I'm not going to beg you to have a little fun. / Pale Suzie: See you around, friendless wonder. / Indy Rock Pete: Wait! I'm just trying to build in a little suspense! / Indy Rock Pete: That... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1432 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Cat: Mew! Mew! Mew!
/ Clango: No Kidding! You're a Cat?! / Cat: Mew! Mew! Mew!
/ Clango: What?! You have four legs and enjoy eating food? / Cat: Mew! Mew! Mew!
/ Clango: Profound! I'll call the newspapers! / Cat: (!)
/ Clango: Profound! Someday there will be a riot every time someone draws your picture! / Cat:... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1433 |
| Goatse in the sky with diamonds | [[Clango is holding a laptop. He seems annoyed.]] / Kitten: Mew! Mew! Meeeeowwwwllll! / Clango: Quit the yowling! I'm busy typing my name into Google! / Kitten: Meeeeeewwww [[loudly]] / [[Clango looks out the window, and is surprised at the bright flash in the sky. The light fades out slowly.]] / Clango:... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1434 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Eve: Wanna come see The Firey Furnaces with me tomorrow? / Indy Rock Pete: If I wanted to listen to harpsichord music, I'd hang out with my grandma. / Indy Rock Pete: Not to mention that I saw them last year- before you even knew they existed. / Indy Rock Pete: It was alright, but not challenging... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1435 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indy Rock Pete and Eve are talking]]
/ Indy Rock Pete: support our troops!
/ Eve: i already do! i walked to work today. / Indy Rock Pete: huh? what's that got to do with yellow ribbons?
/ Eve: figure it out, gas hole. i bet you can't even find iraq on a map. / [[Partial map of United States, with fake... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1436 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Rock Pete names cities in Texas after the 7 deadly sins]]
/ Eve: How open-minded of you. / Indie Rock Pete: I don't have to be fair to that bunch of wealthy oil cowboys. / Eve: You know, they're not all that way. Don't generalize. / Indie Rock Pete: What-ever.
/ Eve: Fine, we'll see how you... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1437 |
| Dignity on a Desktop | Nipples the Bear: Wanna see my brand-new iMac?
/ Clango: Sure. I can't afford one.
/ [[an iMac with a lion or kitty cat desktop image and ears appears]]
/ [[Clango looks shocked]]
/ Clango: Have you ever been to the zoo?
/ Nipples the Bear: Of course! The zoo changed my life.
/ Clango: All I can see is a once... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1438 |
| BEGGING YOUR PARTON | Maura: WOW. / BEGGING YOUR PARTONI DIDN'T KNOW THAT THE SALVATION ARMY ACTUALLY ATTACKED PEOPLE. / BEGGING YOUR PARTON HAVE YOU & BOSS HOGG SET A DATE FOR THE WEDDING YET? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1439 |
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