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Boonies Never Quit Indie Rocker Pete: I wish I lived somewhere cool, like New York. / Lil Sis: I wish you did, too. / Indie Rocker Pete: There's nowhere cool to go out here in the boonies. / Lil Sis: Yeah, life sure would be better if it took an hour to travel half a mile. / Indie Rocker Pete: Imagine being able to eat...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title text: Proud Member of the Stag-nation}} / [[Indie Rock Pete is in color, while Lil' Sis and the double-wide panel are in gray]] / Lil' Sis: Why can't you just drink beer, kiss girls, work a job and be happy like everyone else? / [[Light blue normal-width panel, and Lil' Sis is in color as well]] / Lil'...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic I hate it here. / So move away! / "C.R.E.A.M.", kiddo. I can't afford it. / So drink soy! / "Cash rules everything around me" / Not if you actually have some. / That's my problem. / Your problem is that you don't work. / I can't afford a day job. I need the time to write. / What's the last thing you...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Charles: Did I tell you I got a blog? / Metal Steve: Whoa! Pogs! / Metal Steve: I haven't thought about pogs since middle school! / Metal Steve: Pogs, comics and magic cards... A well-rounded social life for the 'tween of the early nineties. / Metal Steve: Get it? Well-rounded? / Charles: Dude, I...
Career-Minded Robots [[Torpor and Red Robot are talking]] / Torpor: Torpor lift things when asked nicely! / Red Robot: Yes, Torpor. I know. That's pretty much all you say. Ever. / Torpor: Torpor lift things when asked nicely! / Red Robot: I remember! This isn't "Memento"! / Red Robot: You lift things, but what...
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Torpor: Torpor likes being nice! Torpor wants people to like Torpor! / Red Robot: That's cute, but life doesn't work that way. / Red Robot: If you lift things for people, all you will get is used. / Red Robot: Do you want to be that guy with a truck who people only call when they're moving? / Torpor:...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title text:Character Recognition}} / [[Indy Rock Pete stands by his computer with a web page open]] / Indy Rock Pete: Oh, for cripe's sake! I don't look like Jon Bon Jovi! / [[Red Robot stands next to Indy Rock Pete]] / Indy Rock Pete: Jon Bon Jovi looks like ME! / Indy Rock Pete: Stupid Interweb...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Metal Steve: What’d you do this weekend, Electron Mike? / Electron Mike: You mean, “What did I allegedly do this weekend?” / Metal Steve: It sounds like you stayed home and watched Court TV. / Electron Mike: Objection. Conjecture! / Metal Steve: Overruled. / Electron Mike: Sigh. / Electron Mike:...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[ Clango holding Maura, Maura has a look of disdain]] / Clango: Why are you so mad? What did I do?! / Clango: Sweetie, will you at least tell me? / [[ More disdain from Maura ]] / Clango: Irrational flesh-ling! Why must I love you?
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{THE GOLDEN AGE OF DIMINISHING RETURNS}} / Clango: HOW'S RETIREMENT, UNCLE GRANDPA? / Uncle Grandpa: I'M ENJOYING LIE AT 8MHZ. THIS IS HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE! / Uncle Grandpa: NO DOCUMENTS TO EDIT, NO FOLDERS TO SEARCH, NO FLOPPIES TO EJECT. / Uncle Grandpa: I'M JUST SITTING BACK AND ENJOYING...
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Is it possible to become a professional dungeon master? / I bet there's an online "university" that would be MORE than happy to sell you a dregree. / "A fool and his hit points are soon parted." / Nice opinion of the educational system you've got there. / I was home-schooled. / In a broken home. / My...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic First Panel (Maura and Mike): / Maura: What's up for you / this weekend, Nerdy / von Nerdball? / Second Panel (Maura and Mike): / Mike: I've got an agenda / the United Nations / would be jelaous of! / Third Panel (closeup of Mike's calendar): / Sunday S M T W T F S / 7:00 AM Wake up, wash, check...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Cool Ranch Illuminati / Maura: You need to learn how to have fun Mikey. / Electron Mike: No thank you. / "Fun" is just a scam created by marketers to sell chocolate condoms and tortilla chips! Bah! / Maura: what a rational opinion. / Electron Mike: I got it from talk radio!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Not everybody scratches off three aces in the genetic lottery. / I understand "Fun" as an intellectual concept. / I just don't think I'm designed to HAVE fun. / Space Baloney! You're just making excuses to mope. / Thank you for invalidating the few feelings I admit to. / Maybe if I administer enough...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{ comic title: One Part Copulation, Nine Parts Tribulation}} / Pale Suzie: Pumpkin Pie, Sweetie Pants, Bubble Tea... Can I ask you a question? / Clango: Of course! You can ask me anything. / Pale Suzie: Do you ever want to have children? / [[ CLANGO looks confused ]] / Clango: Are you trying to...
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{Title: The Stork Left Me in a Vending Machine}} / Pale Suzie: Scientists can grow meat in a vat now. / Clango: All the flavor, with none of the slaughter! / Pale Suzie: Right! So why can't they make kids that way? / [[Clango frowns]] / Pale Suzie: People would love it! Look how popular those 'Build-A-Bear'...
Swashbuckling Under The Pressure Metal Steve: Arr! I'm a pirate! / Indie Rock Pete: No, you're not! You've got teeth. / Indie Rock Pete: I am SICK of pirates! Why are you people so preoccupied with them? / Metal Steve: People like free things. Nothing is freer than stealing. Pirates steal! / Metal Steve: Ergo, people love pirates. / Metal...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Clango: How many ninjas does it take to screw in a light bulb? / Indie Pop Pete: That's a trick question! Ninjas prefer the dark. / [[Clango frowns. / Indie Pop Pete smiles.]] / Clango: Knock, Knock! / Indie Pop Pete: Sigh. / Indie Pop Pete: Orange you glad you didn't pay full price for that joke book? / [[Clango...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Panel 1: / [Red Robot #C-63]: Ha ha! Thank you for helping me with my art homework. / Panel 2: / [Metal Steve]: I feel so post-modern with all my blood on the outside. / [Lil' Sis]: Quit beating him up, you nasty little tin Hitler! / Panel 3: / [Red Robot # C-63]: I'll flog whatever I like! / [Lil' Sis]:...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Hello There! Do you ladies come here often? / / Are you OK, Steve? Nothing broken? / I am moist and throbbing, but otherwise fine. / / When did you start shaving your legs?
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Maura: Steve is so adorable when he's insensate. / Lil' Sis: Aren't all boys though? / Maura: Sigh. If only they never had to wake up. / Lil' Sis: I guess God isn't a woman after all.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title text: Lycanthropy Loves Company}} / [[Metal Steve is sleeping]] / ZZZ... / [[Metal Steve wakes up]] / gah! Where am i / what happened to my upderpants? / why am i covered in blood? / [[Metal Steve looks nervous]] / have i become...a werewolf? / must i hunt by night forevermore? / am i...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Lil Sis: How's the noggin, Mister Wobbles? / Steve: I think I need a doctor. / Lil Sis: That's nice. / Steve: I might be dying. / Lil Sis: You think you're alone in that? / Steve: I could see parts of my brain in the mirror. / Lil Sis: Lucky you! / Lil Sis: Most ufologists would kill for actual proof...
Diesel Sweeties #1583 There's Nothing Quite Like Lips and Holes Clango: Let's eat donuts as an excuse to eat sprinkles! / Pale Suzie: No donuts for me, I'm healthy! I only eat bagels nowadays. / Clango: With cream cheese? / Pale Suzie: Lite cream cheese! / Clango: I'm not sure a schmear a day keeps the heart attacks at bay. / Pale Suzie: Maybe it's not "good" fat,...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Clango: Whatever happened to that fondue party you were gonna have? / Suzie: Nothing! Until right now. When you reminded me of it. / Clango: You should have it on halloween! / Suzie: Sweet mother of Louis Pasteur! / [[A skull-shaped fondue pot contains delicious yellow cheese]] / Clango: Pasteurized...
 
the bull curve Mike: I have charts and graphs. / Mike: They explain my feelings! / Little Sis: Were you socialized as a kid? / Mike: I had a calculator with googly eyes. / Chart: Time spent moping after break-up versus quality of girlfriend. / Little Sis: So, you advise shooting low and shooting often? / Mike:...
time-sensitive man-terials Little Sis: Every happily committed woman I know is either involved with a machine or another woman. / Little Sis: Boys take too long to recharge between "action" scences. / Little Sis: My last boyfriend's refractory period blew! It made me see red! / Little Sis: What do you say to that? Defender...
bridging the generation grep Little Sis: What's your Myspace? / Mike: What's your email? / Little Sis: I don't use it. / Mike: I don't use it. / Silence. / Little Sis: How do you know if people like you without a numbered list and stats? / Mike: You make me feel old. / Mike: At least it's the good old where I get to pity you. / Little...
One Man's Top Eight Is Another Man's 1984 Mike: Myspace is not about friends. / Mike: Myspace is about using other people as a status symbol. / Little Sis: Don't tell me you prefer quality over quantity! / Mike: Life is not a super value meal. / Mike: It's bad enough society turns us into numbers. / Mike: Now we make people millionaires for...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic OLD AND FALLOW! / YOUNG AND CALLOW! / SIGH. / GRRR. / I'M TIRED OF FIGHTING. / I DECLARE A TRUCE FOR ROBOT JUICE. / I ACCEPT! COFFEE MAKES MY HEART SMILE AND MY CHEEKS SING. / FINALLY! SOMETHING WE CAN AGREE ON. / THE BEST PART OF COFFEE IS THE CARAMEL AND THE SUGAR AND THE WHIPPED CREAM AND THE...
 

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