You're browsing the archives of diesel sweeties.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| I never appreciated my mustache until it was gone. | Clango: How'd you get a pre-release Nintendo?
/ Maura: Blackmail, of course! / Maura: Remember when I did the photo shoot for jumponmyhead.com? / Clango: The Super Mario fetish site? Gross!
/ Maura: I don't judge 'em, I just charge 'em. / Maura: so...you wanna go roll some virtual balls at some imaginary... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1620 |
| the penultimate starfighter | Clango: Victory is mine! I am the most ultimate triumphant! Kiss! My! Awesome! / Maura: No fair! You have magic tentacle arms! / Maura: I'm limited by my joints!
/ Clango: Most stoners would disagree. /
/ Maura: You're such a cheater.
/ Clango: I learned from the best. / Maura: Get over it. I was drunk!
/ Clango:... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1621 |
| Never Try To Hustle Somebody Who Was In Hustler | {{#1622}}
/ [[Clango and Maura inside]]
/ Clango: You cheating, bipedal tuna casserole. I can't believe you beat me. / Clango: I'm supposed to win at videogames! I'm a robot! / Clango: How'd you do it?
/ Maura: Trade secret. / Maura: I wouldn't be much of a porn star if I couldn't insert tab "A" into... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1622 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title: Patriot Act Me No Questions, Patriot Tell Me No Lies}}
/ Clango: I should probably go before I get in trouble with my girlfriend. / Maura: Stay a little longer. I won't tell Homeland Security if you don't. / Clango: I can't.
/ Maura: Sure you can! / Maura: Unless you're scared to because you're... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1623 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Red Robot: Ladies and Gentlemen! I give you the greatest triumph in the history of interior decorating! / Red Robot: The sizzle chamber!
/ My very own bacon room!
/ Metal Steve: wow! It's so... crispy!
/ Vegan girl: This is horrible! Barbaric! / Vegan girl: How many innocent little piggies died to cover... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1624 |
| dissent is healthy, contrarianism is pathological | Pete: Growing up Jewish, I always felt ripped off by Christmas. / Suzy: Yeah, imagine how the pagans felt. / Pete: Most people can't even spell 'Hanukkah' correctly, let alone treat it with respect. / Suzy: Maybe it's because there are fifteen ways to spell it. / Pete: That's why Thanksgiving is... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1625 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | STRONG ENOUGH FOR A SATANIST, BUT PH BALANCED FOR A WICCAN / [[Clango has a smudged red mark on his neck.]]
/ Pale Suzie: CLANGO! I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU!
/ Clango: GAH! / [[Clango is sweating.]]
/ Pale Suzie: ARE YOU SWEATING?
/ Clango: IT'S A NEW POWER! I JUST LEVELLED UP. / Pale Suzie: IS... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1626 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Eve: Indie Rock Pete, what's your favorite band? / Indie Rock Pete: I can't tell you that.
/ Eve: Why not? / Indie Rock Pete: Rarity makes things preciuos. If I share my opinions with you, they're worth less! / Eve: That's dumb! Ideas don't "run out". Information wants to be free! / Eve: There's no... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1627 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Eve: What do you mean, it's illegal to remix songs? / Indie Rock Pete: Let me explain it to you in terms you'll understand: / Indie Rock Pete: Let's say you ate a delicious subway (R) sandwich.
/ Eve: Extra pickles! / Indie Rock Pete: Now let's say you tried to sell this delicious subway (R) sandwich... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1628 |
| There Is No Known Cure For Social Networking | Pale Susie: Can boys be trusted?
/ Lil' Sis: You're asking me?
/ Lil' Sis: There are videos on youtube that last longer than my relationships.
/ Pale Susie: Is that a no?
/ Lil' Sis: I usually get bored before I get betrayed. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1629 |
| A Balanced Diet | Pale Suzie: If you knew that a friend was cheating on his girlfriend, would you tell her? / Indie Rock Pete: No chance! I believe in the doctrine of "Bros Before Hoes!" / Pale Suzie: What if it meant she would dump him when she found out? / Pale Suzie: His lonely, vulnerable, supple girlfriend... / Pale... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1630 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Rock Pete is spying on Clango from behind a tree]]
/ Clango: [[thinking]] either that tree farted, or I'm being followed. / [[Clango darts to the side of the strip]] / Clango: Worst. Spy. Ever.
/ Indie Rock Pete: Gah! How'd you sneak up on me? / Clango: Simple. [[exiting left of panel]]
/ Clango:... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1631 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Indie Rock Pete: CURSES AND EXPLETIVES! HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS FOLLOWING YOU? / Indie Rock Pete: NINJAS BURIED IN CONCRETE MAKE MORE NOISE THAN ME! / Indie Rock Pete: I'M MORE STILL THAN A DEAD BUDDHIST'S HEART / Indie Rock Pete: I'M FURTHER UNDER THE RADAR THAN A GROUND BREAKING BAND WITHOUT A MYSPACE... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1632 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | LOW-BALLING IT RIGHT OVER HIS HEAD / Clango: INDIE ROCK PETE, WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?
/ Indie Rock Pete: I'M NOT! / Clango: STOP LYING.
/ Indie Rock Pete: I'M NOT LYING! I'M STANDING! / Clango: YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL THE TRUTH? FINE.
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1633 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | A FOOL AND HIS RING TONE ARE SOON PITIED / Clango: OH BOY! SOMEBODY'S CALLING ME!
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1634 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | PHILLIP TORRONE ONCE BEAT ANGUS MACGYVER AT ARM WRESTLING.
/ (HE BUILT THE ARM OUT OF A PRINGLES CAN + FOUR JUJUBES) / Electron Mike: SO THEN I SAID TO THE GUY... / Electron Mike: COMPARING WINDOWS VISTA TO MAC OS X IS LIKE COMPARING PARIS HILTON TO JACKIE ONASSIS! / Metal Steve: THAT'S A COMPUTER... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1635 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Metal Steve: YOU'VE SERIOUSLY NEVER TASTED BEER? / Electron Mike: WHY WOULD I HAVE? I'M ONLY THIRTY! / Metal Steve: ARE YOU RELIGIOUS?
/ Electron Mike: DOES SCIENCE COUNT? / Metal Steve: ARE YOU A HEALTH FIEND?
/ Electron Mike: I CAN LIFT THE ENTIRE INTERNET WITH ONE PINKY! / Metal Steve: ARE YOU STRAIGHT... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1636 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Space: The Final Formage
/ Hi, Honey! Sorry I missed your call!
/ Clango! What is your present location? Latitude and Longitude will do.
/ Are you looking for me on google earth? That's so romantic!
/ Hang on a sec so I can wave up to the satallite!
/ Zark! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1637 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Indie Rock Pete: GIMME FIVE, YOU SELF-ACTUALIZED SEXPOT! / Indie Rock Pete: HUH? HUH?
/ Indie Rock Pete: DON'T LEAVE ME HANGIN'! / Pale Suzie: I JUST BLEW UP MY BOYFRIEND WITH AN ORBITAL LASER. / Indie Rock Pete: YOU'RE LIVING WHAT I ASSUME IS EVERY HETEROSEXUAL WOMAN'S DREAM! / Indie Rock Pete: MEN... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1638 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Indie Rock Pete: SO. WANNA MAKE OUT?
/ Pale Suzie: NO! I'M IN MOURNING! / Indie Rock Pete: IF THAT'S THE POLICE, I'M A HOSTAGE!
/ Doorbell: DING DONG! / Clango: YOU AND I NEED TO HAVE A CHAT ABOUT APPROPRIATE FORMS OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION. / {{title text: Faces Just Get In The Way}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1639 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Pale Suzie: Fresh head?
/ Clango: Yes, thanks. / Pale Suzie: How do you feel?
/ Clango: A bit drafty, but it's nice to have a face again. / Pale Suzie: It's a nice face, that's for sure! / Pale Suzie: A rugged, chiseled face.
/ The face of my best guy. / Pale Suzie: Too bad you only use it to frown.
/ Clango:... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1640 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title: Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery}} / Pale Suzie: I'm still mad at you.
/ Clango: How lovely. There's nothing worse than unrequited feelings. / Pale Suzie: Since when are you so sarcastic?
/ Clango: I downloaded a free trial version of Irony Pro after my girlfriend... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1641 |
| Isaac, Abraham, and Joe Francis | Pale Suzie: I only shot you because I care. / Pale Suzie: I'd have my pound of flesh and we'd be squarer than 2 x 2.
/
/ Pale Suzie: A simple plan of Biblical proportions.
/ Clango: Vengeance isn't forgiveness! / Pale Suzie: I know! It's better.
/ Clango: What Bible are you reading? / Pale Suzie: The... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1642 |
| Feminism and the Modern Mushroom | Suzy: Ok, I lied. I really shot at you because you cheated on me. / Clango: But I didn't! All we did was play Nintendo! / Suzy: Yeah, and Princess Peach gets to rescue Mario half the time. / Suzy: You were drenched in sweat.
/ Clango: Nintendo is the new jazzercize! / Suzy: Don't try to talk your... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1643 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1644 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Pale Suzie is glaring at Maura]] / Maura: Are we having a staring contest? / Pale Suzie: Why'd you do it? / Pale Suzie: Why did you have to go and ruin my life? / Maura: Woah, back up the hearse, lady death! / Maura: I don't control the price of fishnet stockings and black mascara! / Maura: These... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1645 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Indie rock Pete: Suzie doesn't trust you
/ Clango: I didn't do anything wrong! / Clango: I was just playing nintendo! / Indie rock Pete: with your ex-girlfriend. Then you hid it from your current girlfriend. / Indie rock Pete: Do you get it, or... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1646 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Pale Suzy: Nothing you can say could convince me you two didn't mess around.
/ Maura: Oh?
/ Maura: You know my job?
/ The one on the Internet?
/ Maura: With the web cam?
/ Pale Suzy: You recorded the whole thing?
/ Maura: I recorded the whole thing.
/ Pale Suzy: Can I see?
/ Maura: For just $4.95 a month,... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1647 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | I'm going to gently apply a magnetic field to my brain, wiping all memories of this week. / I won't even remember not doing what I didn't do! / I'll be even more innocent than I am now! / Then I just pop your back-up disk in when you reboot?
/ C::\>, Senor. / H.M.S. convenient amnesia, you are clear... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1648 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | WE'RE COOL?
/ I'M SORRY I DOUBTED YOU TWO. / I STILL DON'T TRUST YOU, BUT PHOTOSHOP NEVER LIES. / YOU DO KNOW WHAT PHOTOSHOP IS RIGHT?
/ IS JOKE! MAKE FUNNY LAFFS! HA! / YOU'RE FORGIVEN. SHUT UP AND ENOY IT. / HONEY, I'M HOME!
/ YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK.
/ OFF THE HOOK AND UNPLUGGED, FROM THE LOOKS OF IT... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1649 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 >>