You're browsing the archives of diesel sweeties.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Indie Rock Pete: Corin Tucker of the indie rock band Sleater-Kinney, will you go out with me? / Indie Rock Pete: And if I'm really good, will you put all hands on my bad one? / Corin Tucker: You DO realize that pun ruined any chances you might have had, right? / Indie Rock Pete: EEEEEK! You're ri...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Lil Sis: Is Clango circumsized? / Maura: HE'S A ROBOT! / Lil Sis: Is that a "no"? / Maura: Let's just say his screwdriver has a philips head.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Clango: I heard the Grateful Dead "live" on the radio last night. / Clango: But I thought the fat singer guy died? / Metal Steve: Yep, he died of fatness a few years back. / Clango: That DJ tricked me!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic 153 Lil' Sis: I come here not to praise Indie Rock Pete, but to burn him! / [[Indie Rock Pete raises an eyebrow]] / Indie Rock Pete: Ummm, I think you paraphrased that line in reverse / Lil' Sis: I didn't paraphrase! / I alluded to it! / [[Indie Rock Pete frowns]] / Lil' Sis: It's fun to use learning for...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Indie Rock Pete: Ozzy, what's your secret? / Ozzy Osbourne: [[takes off sunglasses]] / Ozzy Osbourne: [[shifty eyes]] / Ozzy Osbourne: Lots of rabies shots.
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Indie Rock Pete to himself]] / Pete: If I had my own 'zine, I'd have indie chicks falling all over me. / Pete: It would make them realize just how cool I really am. / Pete: They might even sleep with me for good reviews of their concerts! / Pete: As soon as I figure out where to steal photocopies...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Red Robot: I do it for the ladies! / Lil' Sis: Do what? / Red Robot: Crush the oppressive male hu-mans! They are our common enemy! / Lil' Sis: The human in me is appalled, but the feminist in me is intrigued.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Maura and Clango are chatting]] / Maura: Clango, do you love me? / Clango: Of course I love you! / Maura: Why? / Clango: ! / [[Maura frowns at Clango's lack of answer]]
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Clango and Indie Rock Pete are chatting]] / Clango: Indie Rock Pete, have you ever had any gay thoughts? / Pete: Do I look like I drive the ass-taxi to work? / Clango: Hmm... / [[Clango puts his arm around Pete's shoulder]] / Clango: Are you positive?
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Lil' Sis: Juice Box? / Indie Rock Pete: Sure thing, Your place or mine, sexy mama? / Lil' Sis: You're a degenerate, you know that? / Indie Rock Pete: It beats working for a living.
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic ! / Clango, you give new meaning to the term "plug and play."
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Indie Rock Pete speaks to himself]] / Pete: Not having a computer has made my career as an indie rock 'zine maker very difficult. / Pete: It's really hard hand-writing all the articles - by hand! / Pete: I feel like one of those stupid monks that wasted their lives making bibles back before TV. / Pete:...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Clango and Maura chat]] / Clango: Sweetie pie- would you ever consider marrying me? / Maura: Nope. / Maura: However, I just might consider leasing you. / Maura: But only if there was a dollar buyout option at the end of the 36 months.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Red Robot and Eve talking]] / Red Robot: CRUSH ALL HU-MANS!! / Eve: How about I crush you in my loving embrace instead? / Red Robot: ! / Eve: Whaddaya say, mister cutiepants? / [[Red Robot turns white]]
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic METAL STEVE: PETE, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A JOB? / INDIE ROCK PETE: MO' MONEY, MO' PROBLEMS. / METAL STEVE: YES, BUT MO' CREDITORS, MO' EVICTION NOTICES. / INDIE ROCK PETE: MY MOM MAY PAY FOR IT, BUT NEVERTHELESS MY FLOW BE FRESH
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic RED ROBOT #C-63: HELP! HOW DO I STOP HU-MAN GIRLS FROM KISSING ME? / CLANGO: YOU CAN'T! IT IS UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE! / CLANGO: THAT WOULD BE LIKE TRYING TO CHANGE THE TIDES OR EAT THE SUN! / RED ROBOT #C-63: I REFUSE TO BE A SEXY VICTIM OF HISTORY!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic So where are we going on our date tomorrow night? / Crush all hu-mans! / So you want to go watch wrestling? / You're adorable when you act bourgeois.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic I think I have more sex drive than common sense. / Not to worry! That's normal for testicle bearing humans. / Ha ha. You're just the funniest thing since sliced bread. / Johnny Toast says that was completely inaccurate. / !!!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic I had a great time with you tonight, Red Robot. / Ha ha! It was fun to watch the hu-mans crush one another for a change! This "wrestling" is great! / Can I kiss you goodnight? / And don't tell me that you have no mouth. That's such a flimsy excuse.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Maura: ! / Maura: HONEY WHAT'S WRONG? YOU LOOK FLUSH. / Clango: UGH ... I THINK SOMEONE IS SLASHDOTTING MY INTERNAL WEBSERVER. / Maura: SOUNDS A LOT LIKE PUBERTY CROSSED WITH A CASE OF THE POOPS.
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic I'm sick of all the pressure I get from my girl. / All she wants is sex, sex, sex! I keep telling her I'm not ready and she laughs at me. / The things some people complain about amaze me.
vegan pants [[Indie Rock Pete and Maura]] / Indie Rock Pete: Meat is bad for you and makes your poop all tough and hard! / Indie Rock Pete: Dairy foods are full of fat and chemicals! (Plus they look kind of like sperm!) / Indie Rock Pete: Animals are raised in inhumane factory-like conditions THE SAME AS CHEAP...
Carpenter of Love [[Joel and Maura, talking]] / Joel: Do you prefer to buy sex toys in person or thru mail order? / Maura: I like to head down to my workshop and make my own! / Maura: There's nothing quite like running a piece of virgin hardwood thru my "love lathe." / [[Joel's eyes get big]] / Joel: ...!
dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=173 [[Clango talking to Red Robot]] / Clango: So! How did your date go with that cute hu-man female, Eve? / Red Robot: OFFICIALLY, I caught her hair on fire and tried to kill her for being an evil hu-man. / Red Robot: UN-officially, we rented a movie and had a lovely, quiet evening. / Red Robot: I got...
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Indy Rock Pete: What made you stoop so low as to start dating a robot? / Maura: I dunno. What made you start acting like a big, cranky ass to everyone? / Indy Rock Pete: I was getting zero sex. / Maura: Crap! I was not expecting an honest answer.
 
dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=175 [[Clango and Maura, talking]] / Clango: Can you buy happiness? / Maura: Nope. / Clango: How about love? / Maura: Sorry. / Maura: But you CAN buy real estate and then have sex on the premises! / Maura: Wanna violate some zoning ordinances?
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic I may be a hypocrite, but that was worth it. / If any of my robotoid friends knew I didn't murder you, I would get *so* made fun of. / I thought your official mandate was to "Crush all hu-mans"? / Because if it is, my ribs say that you fulfilled it
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Honey, you have the loveliest skull I have ever seen on a human. / Didn't I ask you to quit scanning me with X-rays?! / If you want to look at me, use the damn visual end of the sprectrum, ok!? / How about we compromise on infrared?
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic I dunno why, but I feel very hip and irreverant. / If that was supposed to be a wry fashion commentary, it sucked. / It was a true and purely coincidental statement! / You just be careful that cap don't go to your head, y'hear?
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic If it isn't Mr. Clean-Teeth, the guy who brushes and flosses! / You think you're all indie rock, but all you are is a pretty-boy indie wanna-be. / Call me when you're done dating runway models, hot shot. / They are actually underwear models, you misinformed twit.
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 >>