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| 2003 guests part twelve | {{guest strip by lark pien @ lambiek.net/pien-lark.htm }}
/ clango: last night / clango: i dreamt / clango: that even as a doll
/ maura: clango you will be the sole keeper of my life secrets / clango: i mattered / {{guest strip by jason alderman @ huah.net/jason/comics/diesel/2003 }}
/ pete: zzz...
/ lil' sis: zzz...
/ clango: zzz...
/ roger: zzz... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=630 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Red Robot #C-63: Peanut butter duplicate...activate!
/ Peanut Butter Duplicate: Aye, sir. / Red Robot #C-63: Chocolate clone! Commence attack!
/ Chocolate Clone: Rear guard is "go"! / Red Robot #C-63: Ha ha ha! Never has a taste sensation swept the nation in such a horrific manner!
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=631 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura: Nice vest! It looks warm. / Electron Mike: Vest of fleecing! +3 against going out of style! / Pale Suzie: Lookin' pretty darn sexy-slash-rugged! / Lil' Sis: OW!!! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=632 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Metal Steve: Wait, you actually got a government grant to write your new album? / Indie Rock Pete: Yep! I even managed to maintain my indie cred at the same time! / Metal Steve: How? / Indie Rock Pete: I got on worker's disability and I sell my pain pills to addicts! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=633 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Red Robot #C-63: Fifty bucks a pint?! / Red Robot #C-63: You over-estimate your worth, insipid flesh-booger! / Indie Rock Pete: You're not just paying for the blood, you're buying shares in my future anemia! / Red Robot #C-63: I've struck red gold! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=634 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Lil' Sis: So we was getting all hot and passionate and amorous and stuff... / Lil' Sis: All touching and feeling and having' a good ol' time... / Lil' Sis: Then I said, "Ooh, baby put that thing in my waffle slot!" / Lil' Sis: And there was much rejoicing! Also syrup! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=635 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Lil' Sis: Make sexy goo-goo eyes at wealthy oil sultans, not war! / Red Robot #C-63: Stop hatin' on the military-industrial complex if you like driving a truck! / Indie Rock Pete: Gonna meet some spicy ladies in the porta-potty! / Clango: I'm the media, the message, and a victim! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=636 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Lil Sis: Did you hear me? I said "no public restrooms". GRR! / Nipples the Bear: Whee! That's cool because I can't go with the door open! / Lil Sis: Listen, maybe if you bought a comic book I'd let you go pee. / Nipples the Bear: Too late!
/ Lil Sis: [[on fire with rage]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=637 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Nipples the Bear is at his drawing table, holding a giant pencil]]
/ Nipples: I get lots of email asking me about my art work! / Nipples: Here's one from Skott, writing in from sunny Palo Alto, California! / Nipples: "Dear Nipples! How do you keep your art fresh when you draw the same characters every DAY?" / Nipples: The secret is to stick weiners into the backgrounds! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=638 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Red Robot: Why use a bank when you have a 50-foot-tall bulimic robot cousin? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=639 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Rock Pete reads the newspaper]]
/ Pete: WANTED! Roommate to share spacious studio apartment above adult video store. / Pete: Must have open mind and be prepared to learn a lot about MY favorite music. / Pete: $275 per month + utilities. Breasts a plus. NO DOGS. / Pete: For someone who would never sell out, I sure can write ad copy! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=640 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Red Robot talks to Metal Steve. Red wears his gold dollar-sign hat]]
/ Red Robot: Want to lose ten pounds in 24 hours? / Red Robot: Need to drop two dress sizes in just two days? / Steve: Is that how you make your money? Email scammin'? / Red Robot: It's amazing how much cash you can make by investing in a laptop and some gasoline! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=641 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Collin "Doc" Cunningham: I could THEORETICALLY perform that surgery. / Collin "Doc" Cunningham: There are loads of MORAL reasons for me to refuse you though. / Red Robot #C-63: Should I appeal to your ego or greed to get my way? / Collin "Doc" Cunningham: My kind of customer! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=642 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Red Robot #C-63: As a being of immense wealth and refinement, it's time I took my place on the world stage. / Red Robot #C-63: Rending the flesh of Americans no longer amuses me. I will punch Poles! Trounce Turks! Incapacitate Italians! / [[Lil' Sis is wearing a Stars & Stripes top]]
/ Lil Sis: Yee haw! You should oughtta go teach them French fries a lesson U.S.A. #1 times infinity! / Red Robot #C-63: Madam, surely oyu mistake me for an undiplomatic plebeian. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=643 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"do you really want to hurt me"}} / [[Maura is talking to Puppet Clango, who is on a presidential puppet theater]] / Maura: Hello, little puppet pal! / Maura: What's that you say? You want a new puppet theater but it belongs to someone else?
/ [[Puppet Clango frowns]] / Maura: You want me to beat the crap out of them and take it, JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID SO?
/ [[Puppet Clango grins and waves his arms]] / Maura: Yeah, no problem! I won't even ask whose hand is up your ass. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=644 |
| [[Uncle Grandpa talks to a laptop]] / "Keep it up all night long"? What in the Sam Hill is this Email trying to say? Grr? / I am as robust and virile as I was the first day I booted up! / My floppy still goes all poppy as soon as the ladies click my mouse. / Best 3.5 inches of her natural life! | |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Rock Pete talks on the phone]]
/ Pete: Who the hell is this!? How did you get this number!? / Pete: This phone number is so cool, it's unlisted! And that's way cooler than YOU, jerk-pants! / Pete: If you call me again, I'm going to find you and show you just how pissy I can be! / Pete: Oh, wait! Are you calling about renting my spare room? Hello? HELLO?
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=646 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | our best intelligence indicates the tacos you ate last night are here in your lower intestine. next slide please! / they appear to be rendezvousing with your oatmeal from tuesday ... here! right near your colon. / we're planning to move fast with heavy artillery in order to break through. / sir! it appears that the enemy is in for serious crap, sir! / well said, private! next slide please! / once our payloads are dropped into hostile waters, we can proceed with our clean-up mission! / operation "two-ply comfort roll" will win the hearts and minds of the people! / then liberty will go back up to the buffet for seconds! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=647 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Lil' Sis and Indie Rock Pete]]
/ Pete: HALP! HALP! TERRORISM! / Lil' Sis: You OK? Do you need medical attention? What happened?! / Pete: It was terrible! Someone called my house... AND HUNG UP! / Pete: I was attacked by weapons of mass communication!
/ [[Lil' Sis goes cross-eyed]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=648 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Lil' Sis and Indie Rock Pete]]
/ Lil' Sis: No, I will NOT be your roommate! / Lil' Sis: I shudder to think of the sheer TERROR I would feel using the same shower as you. / Lil' Sis: Not to mention that the thought of you sneaking into my bedroom when I sleep is... / Pete: Arousing? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=649 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic: "druids" | Metal Steve, alone at his iMac: Buying used office chairs is like being a white-collar druid. / There are secret fart histories inscribed in every seat. / [[vibrates slightly in personal meditation]] / Listen carefully and you can even hear the pain and suffering of a million PowerPoint presentations! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=650 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"no rent money"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete is talking to his land-lady, who is out of frame]]
/ Lady: Oh, sexy little rocker boy!
/ Pete: ! / Lady: Do you have my rent check, cutie-dingle?
/ Pete: Um NO I mean yes I MEAN I'M GETTING A ROOMMATE!! / Lady: Make sure he knows about the discount rent for "special yardwork" deal! / Pete (thinking): Trim your own dang hedges, you big gross-out! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=651 |
| diesel sweeties: "swip swap" | [[Maura is sitting on the toilet, typing on her laptop]]
/ Maura: THANK YOU EBAY! Another month's bills are paid! / Maura: I need to rock some new revenue sources though... / Maura: I'm down to my last pair of well-worn-yet-sellable panties! / [[Maura is still sitting there, but now she looks like Wonder Woman and her laptop is "invisible". The golden lasso can be seen hanging off the toilet paper.]]
/ Maura: I've sure come a long way since my Wonder Woman Underoos. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=652 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | THIS FREAKING WAR THING IS RUINING MY PORN SITE BUSINESS / WE NEED TO CHANGE THE RULES OF THE GAME! GET WITH THE ZEITGEIST! / WE SHOULD TOTALLY GO AND REGISTER "PROTESTNUDE.COM" http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=653 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"roommate interviews"}} / [[Super Raoul and Indie Rock Pete are talking]]
/ Pete: Hmm. / Pete: You seem fairly 'cool'...but NOT cooler than me. / Pete: I've got a few more prospects to interview first, but I think the room might be yours. / [[Uncle Grandpa, on a counter, and Pete talk]]
/ Pete: How much more will YOU pay?
/ Uncle Grandpa: ANYTHING! I needs me a shag pad! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=654 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"disturbing thoughts about parents"}} / [[Uncle Grandpa, on a counter, and Clango are talking]]
/ Clango: Uncle Grandpa! You're moving out? / Clango: You can't move out! You're like a father to me! / Uncle Grandpa: I can't live in this house no more! You dang squares cramp my style, yo. / Uncle Grandpa: I need me a quiet place to get it on with my lady!
/ Clango: ::UKK:: http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=655 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"batjew of doom"}} / [[Batjew and Indie Rock Pete are talking]]
/ Pete: Wait, you're a purple-haired Canadian jewish tech support guy? / Pete: Daaamn! That's hella wicked indie! You're the PERFECT roommate! / Pete: You're not gonna try paying the rent with that stupid fake crap money of yours, eh? / Pete: If nickels were meant to be magnetic, they'd have some damn wings! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=656 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"mutiny power"}} / [[Batjew, Super Raoul, Uncle Grandpa, and Indie Rock Pete are in a room]]
/ Pete: Super-special roommates roll call! Batjew! Raoul! Uncle Grandpa! / Pete: First rule of the house! There aren't enough beds, so you all get to sleep on the floor!
/ [[Batjew and Raoul share a look]] / [[Pete is beat up, in a trashcan in an alley]]
/ Pete: Homelessness is very indie.
/ [[Batjew and Raoul give http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=657 |
| a sucker porn every minute | maura: .oO( i'm flat broke! i need a plan or a sucker. /a-ha!/ ) / maura: stevie... /pumpkin!/ how's it hangin'? / maura: heh heh! just a little gag between ex-porn stars. / steve: i don't get it. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=658 |
| big testicles | maura: testicles! / maura: when i said, "how's it hanging?" i was talking about your boy parts, porno quitter! / maura: don't try and act all dumb, you mulleted maroon! / steve: i ain't ignorant of /testicals/, i was looking quizzical. tee hee! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=659 |
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