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| Hot Pockets | [[Uncle Grandpa is surfing the 'net on a laptop.]]
/ Uncle Grandpa: Clango! Where are my Hot Pockets brand frozen snack treats?! / Uncle Grandpa: I need their peculiarly delicious combination of flaky crust and my favorite meats! Now! / Uncle Grandpa: Hurry! My mouth is watering and I can't leave the computer! / [[Clango walks in.]]
/ Clango: You've been on instant messenger for three days. Just call her! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=690 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Random Tall Goth character (to Lil' Sis): Hey pretty mama, has the torture of daily existence got you down? / Random Tall Goth character (to Lil' Sis): Wanna come over to my place and weep until Chthulu devours us? / Lil' Sis: Your whole look falls apart when you forget to do the voice. / Random Tall Goth character (to Lil' Sis): Crap. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=691 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura: Thanks Torpor!
/ Torpor: The pleasure is all Torpor's! / Red Robot: Wah wah wah! "The stupid is all stupid's!" / Red Robot: Quit kissing Hu-man ass! They will never treat you as an equal! / Red Robot: You're all space-age parts and obsolete Victorian morals! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=692 |
| hitler is sad | [[Red Robot lectures Torpor, who looks sad]]
/ Red Robot: Listen up kid! I know you mean well but you've got to stop helping hu-mans. / Red Robot: They're all basically Hitler to us robots. / Red Robot: You don't like Hitler, do you Torpor? / [[Hitler stands alone, bleary-eyed and heart-broken]]
/ Torpor: (off-panel) Torpor hates Hitler! Torpor has good manners! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=693 |
| torpor is sad | [[Torpor argues with Red Robot. Torpor is angry, and electricity fizzles between his antennae.]]
/ Torpor: Crushing hu-mans is bad manners! / [[Torpor's electricity turns to a question mark]]
/ Red Robot: Being a traitor to robot-kind is ALSO bad manners! / [[Torpor looks sad, his antennae droop and the electricity is starting to go wild]]
/ Torpor: But... but... but Torpor have GOOD manners! / [[Fire and thick smoke erupt from Torpor's eyes]]
/ Red Robot: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=694 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Pale Suzie: You're going on a date with a computer named "Leonard?" / Pale Suzie: That's... Different. / Pale Suzie: / Pale Suzie: Is it true you can add more RAM? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=695 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Grandpa classic is sitting on a table, wearing an elvis-style wig and sunglasses]]
/ Grandpa: Dang! the last time anybody looked this fly was Jeff Goldblum back in the 80s! / Grandpa: Hip! I'd like you to meet "kewl"! This is gonna be a HOT Date! / [[Clango enters from the left, smiling]]
/ Clango: Hey Uncle Grandpa! You look great! / [[Grandpa's hair droops and green crosses appear in his eyes]]
/ Clango: Like an Elvis impersonator stuck inside "The Matrix"! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=696 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Torpor my man! How's life in the moral minority? / Hello? Anybody home in there? / Eww! Is he dead? ...Or praying? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=697 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: Torpor's not moving! I think he's dead! / Maura: Have you tried his reset button? / Clango: Um, I don't see one?
/ Maura: Yeah right, you big sissy! / Clango: Oh, gross! I can't look!
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=698 |
| missus pac man | [[red robot talking to a pacman machine]]
/ red robot: a duel?! you challenge me? / red robot: Don't gamble with your life, fool! / red robot: I'll cut you down where you stand! / [[red robot shaking fist in the air]]
/ red robot: Your wife will be sleeping in my bed, old man! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=699 |
| Mammo Butt | Clango: But I don't WANT to bring Torpor to the doctor! Doc is mean! / Clango: He laughs at mea and gives me mammograms in my bottom! / [[Clango makes uncomfortable face]] / Clango: Sometimes it hurts, but sometimes I get excited. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=700 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"booze thigh"}} / [[Collin is standing next to a bedraggled, shut-down Torpor. Maura and Clango stand beside them]] / Collin: YOU MONSTERS! What have you done to poor Torpor?
/ Maura: Nothin' Doc! We found him this way!
/ Clango: Not the mama! / [[Cut to Collin with Torpor]]
/ Collin: From the extent of the damage, it looks like the attacker confused him using higher math. / Collin: I need liquor, stat! My hands must be steady for surgery. / [[Back to original view]]
/ Collin: Because gin is Doc's tonic!
/ Maura (thinking): Heh! I have that tattooed on my thigh! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=701 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Mara lies in bed, apparently without clothes.]] / Mara: Hmmm. / Mara: Last thing I remember I had pants. Probably a shirt too, but why assume anything? / Mara: It would stand to reason that someone has my pants. / Mara: I had a perfectly good pregnancy test and my grocery store discount card in the back pocket! Dangit! / {{Pregnancy Extra Care Card}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=702 |
| keep your phone hand strong | [[Lil' Sis is sitting up in a motel bed, naked beneath the sheets]]
/ Lil' Sis: (thinks) It's two hours from check-out time and I'm trapped naked in a cheap motel. / Lil' Sis: (thinks) I can't call the front desk because they might assume I'm here "doing business." / Lil' Sis: (thinks) Who do I know that would be at home on their ass in the middle of the day. / [[Indie Rock Pete is on the phone. A TV in the background is showing "The Price is Right."]]
/ Pete: I don't care! Call me back AFTER "The Price is Right"! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=703 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"octo man"}} / [[Metal Steve, Electron Mike, and Indie Rock Pete with pants on his head are talking]]
/ Pete: RAHH! Out of my way, fools! / Mike: Eek! A zombie with pants on its head! / Pete: Fools! I am no zombie! Make way for the Avenging Octo-Man! / [[Steve and Mike make perplexed looks]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=704 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"end of octo"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete, with a pair of pants on his head, stands outside a door]]
/ Pete: Octo-man is here! Draped in LEGGED VENGEANCE! / [[Lil' Sis, wearing a towel, looks at Pete]]
/ Pete: Luckily for you, I also have a pert little apple-bottom. / [[The pants are off Pete's head]]
/ Pete: Most girls do not fit into my special pants. You should be honored! / Sis: Are these boogers? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=705 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"star beam"}} / [[Clango stands at frame right, his eyes glowing]]
/ Clango: Ignite nuclear mega-furnace! / [[Star-lensed shades appear on his face]]
/ Clango: Deploy Elton John glasses! / [[Bright spotlight-beams issue from the shades]]
/ Clango: Activate star-beam at 60 billion watts! / [[Maura is basking in the beams wearing sunglasses and a bikini]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=706 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"mans man"}} / [[Uncle Grandpa, sitting on a counter, and Joel are talking]] / Uncle Grandpa: I like you, Joel. You're a good, respectful young man. / Uncle Grandpa: You've got a normal haircut! A normal name! You probably even like girls! / Uncle Grandpa: You're a true classic! A real MAN'S man!
/ [[Joel appears with a stubble, smoking a cigar]] / Uncle Grandpa: I mean, for a computer programmer. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=707 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"long legs"}} / [[Torpor is looking dejected]]
/ Torpor: Torpor drop things when startled by daddy long-legs.
/ Voice from floor: Ow. / [[Red Robot standing with Indie Rock Pete]]
/ Pete: Stupid Android. / Red Robot: HE IS A robot, YOU IGNORANT BIGOT! / [[Back to Torpor]]
/ Voice from floor: Pick me up! I'm lazy! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=708 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Red Robot #C-63 is discussing Clintonian economics with Lil' Sis]] / Red Robot #C-63: Unemployment is at an all-time low! / Red Robot #C-63: Because mortality is at an all-time high! / Red Robot #C-63: I am stimulating the economy with my fists! / [[Lil' Sis looks lost]] / {{Economic Stimulus}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=709 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Pete and Metal Steve are discussing new wave J-Rock]] / Indie Pete: So anyways I was at the Unleavened Breadwinners show last night and I got to grab a girl's butt! / Metal Steve: Never heard of them. / Indie Pete: Of course you haven't, bubbelah. / Indie Pete: Imagine if John Cougar Mellencamp sung farm songs in Hebrew! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=710 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura: It's just a porn convention, sis. I'll be there working. / Maura: You won't have fun. Trust me. / Lil Sis: Stick it snout-ward! I'm coming with you! / Lil Sis & Maura: [exchange glances] / Lil Sis: Mom thinks that we'd be closer if you just included me sometimes. / Lil Sis: I mean, what if I by some chance looked up to you? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=711 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"the checklist"}} / [[Lil' Sis and Maura are talking, Maura is checking things off a list]]
/ Maura: Porno convention checlist!
/ -Rubber pants
/ -Vinyl pants
/ -Leather pants
/ -Short pants
/ -Tight pants
/ -Edible pants
/ -Non-alcoholic pants
/ -Crotchless pants
/ -Temporary pants
/ -Henna pants
/ -Talking pants
/ -Electric pants
/ Aaaand lastly,
/ ...Tele-pants
/ Sis: We be ready to travel! / Sis: Do we need to bring condoms? / Maura: A porn star does not PAY for her condoms http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=712 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | young people! bah! i won't understand them if i live to be twenty years old!! / all parting their hair on the left one day and in the middle the next! / back in my day, 'getting your frek on' had to do with not respecting diversity! / hey! i was complaining! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=713 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | RED ROBOT: OPERATOR! RING ME UP THE ADOPTION AGENCY! / RED ROBOT: GREETINGS! I WOULD LIKE TO ORDER ONE SMALL HU-MAN, PLEASE. / RED ROBOT: YES, I WOULD LIKE IT DELIVERED. OK, SEE YOU THEN. / RED ROBOT: HA HA HA HA HA HA http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=714 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: Uncle Stan, can you tell me about my mother? / Clango: My real mother? / Uncle Stan: Well, as I origionally created her she was supposed to be... / Uncle Stan: Just kidding, we were latch-key kids! Stop crying or ... um... excelsior? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=715 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | indie rock pete: i am not going in that store. its way too trendy.
/ metal steve: well excuuuuse me for wanting to get the best price on bobble-heads! / metal steve: um, it's for my nephew. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=716 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"convention bumpin"}} / [[Lil' Sis and Maura are talking]]
/ Sis: GAH! Nipples! / Maura: Well, yeah. It's a PORNO convention. / [[Wide shot of Lil' Sis, Maura, and Nipples the Bear, with random porn-con attendees in the background]]
/ Sis: I meant to say "Nipples the Bear."
/ Nipples: I am here to buy fifty-dollar underpants! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=717 |
| antipop superstar | [[Joel stands before a soft drink cup the size of his head]]
/ Joel: Soft drink the size od a man's head - My old nemesis! / Joel: Your empty calories and druggery have plaged my midriff since childhood! / Joel: But there is no one hter to protect you now. / Joel: You're on your last free refill, you fiend!
/ [[Giant soft drink cup shrinks in terror]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=718 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic -- the talk | Lil' Sis: This convention is so cool! I love learning about pornography!
/ Lil' Sis: How come you're suddenly letting me in on all of your business?
/ Lil' Sis: Does my big sister FINALLY think of me as an adult?
/ Lil' Sis: Am I finally all growed up? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=719 |
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