You're browsing the archives of diesel sweeties.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| "bums over bahgdad" | Joel: So, how was the porno convention? / Lil' Sis: Good- aside from my big sister's constant PREACHING. / Lil' Sis: Sleep with this! VIDEOTAPE THAT! / Lil' Sis: I am so SICK of her telling me what to do and where to shave! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=750 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Lil' Sis: Gotta go sell comic books to virgins for minimum wage. / Lil' Sis: See ya around, Joel. Lookin' good these days. / Joel: ! / Joel: Fuhhhhh. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=751 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: Yo, she said you were *hot?* *Cool!* / Clango: Are you gonna "go for it?" / Joel: I dunno! She ditched me once and I'm a little nervous. / Clango: Normal nervous or tinkle-pants nervous? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=752 |
| the long walk | Indie Rock Pete: Walk you to work?
/ Lil' Sis: Do I have a choice? / Indie Rock Pete: You wanna party with a rock star tonight? I'm only gonna ask once. / Lil' Sis: You realize you're not indie anymore... / Lil' Sis: *Right?* http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=753 |
| when yer hot her hot | Indie Rock Pete: I am my own worst nightmare.
/ Lil' Sis: *Yup! Mine too!* / Indie Rock Pete: I've become an egotistical rock star.
/ Lil' Sis: *Biggest jerk I know!* / Indie Rock Pete: I've also alienated all my friends.
/ Lil' Sis: *Not that you have any!* / Lil' Sis: Two words: *Axl Rose!* http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=754 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"liecheatsteal"}} / [[Lil' Sis is outside]]
/ Sis: This sucks! Summer is almost over and I WASTED it working! / Sis: I'm calling in sick to work. All I need is a good lie. / [[Sis walks off frame left, her phone to her ear and ringing]] / Sis' Boss: Your boyfriend forgot to use a condom and now you have a head cold? YIKES! Stay home! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=755 |
| diesel sweeties: grown up stuff | [[Torpor is speaking to a huge robot which is wearing a blonde wig with a pink bow in it and pink sunglasses]]
/ Torpor: What will we do on our first date, Menace? / Menace: You asked me out, so it's up to you.
/ Torpor: Hmm. / Torpor: Torpor want to do something GROWN-UP. / Torpor: Like connect our gameboy link cables!
/ [[A little heart appears between Torpor's antennae, and Menace smiles while an exclamation point appears over its head.]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=756 |
| love at first blight | Maura: Do you believe in love at first sight? / Clango: Kind of! I *smelled* you before I actually saw you with my eyes. / Clango: I remember the scent of your perfume and how it mingled with your farts...*sigh*... / Clango: Such inner beauty! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=757 |
| on a larp | Nipples the Bear: It's the last Friday of the month! / Nipples the Bear: That means it's Live-Action Roleplaying Day! / Nipples the Bear: I'm a tenth-level Barbarian! I've got a *+3* sword versus orcs! / Nipples the Bear: It's the most potent magical weapon in the whole kingdom of Elfindwarf! / Nipples the Bear: And my dungeon master says it's okay, I can show you! / Lil' Sis: I *slept* with you? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=758 |
| i need you | Metal Steve: Pale Suzie! *I need you.* / [[little dark-purple heart appears over Pale Suzie's head]] / Metal Steve: Will you be my designated driver so that I can get tanked tonight? / Pale Suzie: To the Goth Volvo! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=759 |
| the volvo | < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=760 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"gay name"}} / [[Metal Steve and Pale Suzie are in a car]]
/ Suzie: So what's a "Mantastic"? / Steve: Only the BEST grindcore band since EVER! / Suzie: That name sounds kind of gay. / Steve: Not gay-just PEE PEE PROUD! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=761 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"bouncer"}} / [[Metal Steve and Pale Suzie are stnading outside a club, with a bouncer by the door]]
/ Steve: Ooh! Dethquaake is opening for Mantastic!
/ Suzie: Looks like we're early. / Steve: Early is for drinking! / Steve: And drinking is for fighting! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=762 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"gettin lit"}} / [[Pale Suzie and Metal Steve, drunk, are in a bar]]
/ Steve: I've been shopping at the dented-can grocery store all month. / Steve: That means I can drink as much as I want tonight! / Steve: I hope somebody makes a lewd comment at you tonight so I can HIT HIM! / [[Suzie looks worriedly at Steve, who grins]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=763 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"cookout"}} / [[Red Robot is wearing an apron that says "crush the cook", and is standing in front of a grill with a steak cooking on it]]
/ Red Robot: MEAT AND BLOOD! / Red Robot: BLOOD AND MEAT! / [[Heat beams shoot from Red Robot's eyes onto the steak]]
/ Red Robot: MEAT AND BLOOD AND SEARING HEAT! / [[Cut to Red Robot and Lil' Sis, who is holding a plate with a steak on it]]
/ Sis: What the hell is this? I'm a vegetarian! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=764 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"drunk and tall and proud"}} / [[Pale Suzie and Metal Steve, drunk and with his arm around Suzie's shoulders are walking at night]]
/ Steve: Either you're tall or I'm drunk! / Steve: Either way, I wanna play basketball. / [[Steve slides off Suzie's shoulders to the ground]]
/ Steve: Oof! / Steve: Dribble dribble http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=765 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"the secret is out"}} / [[Metal Steve, drunk, and Pale Suzie are in a car]]
/ Steve: Woo! It sure is blurry out tonight!
/ Suzie: Let's get you home, kiddo. / Steve: So now that I'm all drunk, you gonna take advantage of th' helpless virgin? / Suzie: Nah, I respect you. / Steve: Aw, man! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=766 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | suzie: enter sandman, my little master of puppets.
/ steve: zzz / suzie: one of these days i'm gonna make a man out of you
/ steve: zzz / steve: zzz / suzie: seriously! it was like nine inches long!
/ lil' sis: no way! really? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=767 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | suzie: do you see this sausage here- on my plate? / lil' sis: i do! the sausage glistens with natural juices and grease! / suzie: now imagine two of these sausages laid end-to-end! that's how big he was! / lil' sis: all i have is a waffle. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=768 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Indie-Pete: This inter-net thing is kind of retarded.
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=769 |
| Diesel Sweeties #770: Quitting Jesus | [[Metal Steve sitting in front of his Ruby iMac. Green text on black at top of the screen for the Messageboard. Background: Grey.]]
/ Messageboard: Dear friends on the virgins for jesus messageboards: / [[As before.]]
/ Messageboard: This is the most difficult post I have ever typed on my keyboard.
/ Steve: Gulp. / [[As before.]]
/ Messageboard: I am resigning from this messageboard, effective immediately. / [[Pained look on Steve's face.]]
/ Messageboard: I am quitting jesus. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=770 |
| Diesel Sweeties #771: Cat Toupee | [[Roger the Cat is asleep on Uncle Granpa.]]
/ {{Background: Teal}}
/ Roger the Cat: ZZZ / [[Clango Cyclotron appears on left]]
/ {{Background: Teal}} / [[Roger wakes up]]
/ {{Background: Teal}}
/ Clango Cyclotron: Nice toupee, Uncle Granpa. Very natural! / [[Roger sits up]]
/ Clango: Egad! A Mohawk. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=771 |
| Diesel Sweeties #772: My Chapeau | [[Light blue plain background. Clango Cyclotron and Maura Glee. Clango has what looks to be a smaller, darker head.]]
/ Clango Cyclotron: Darling! / [[As before]]
/ Clango Cyclotron: Be a dear and hand me my hat? / [[Clango is holding is normal head in his hand.]]
/ Clango Cyclotron: Thanks!
/ Clango Cyclotron'S Head: Thanks! / [[Clango is back to normal.]]
/ Clango Cyclotron: A gentleman should not leave the house without his chapeau! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=772 |
| Diesel Sweeties #773: Kool | [[Indie Rock Pete and Electron Mike are standing infront of brick wall]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: Cripes! I just got a call from Frank Black of the pixies! / [[Indie Rock Pete and Electron Mike are standing infront of brick wall]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: They want me to open for them on their reunion tour! / [[Indie Rock Pete and Electron Mike are standing infront of brick wall]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: The one band I've ever respected loves me back! / [[Indie Rock Pete and Electron Mike are standing infront of brick wall]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: The only problem is they're coming over to jam and I'm plum out of cold drinks! / [[Double wide panel. Indie Rock Pete on right. On the left Kool-aid man, a giant pitcher of red Kool-aid smashes through the brick wall]]
/ Kool-aid man: Oh, yeah!
/ Indie Rock Pete: Kool-aid man! I'm saved! / [[Indie Rock Pete lieing in bed. His alarm is ringing, the time being 11:20 something. Indie Rock Pete looks very tired.]]
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=773 |
| Diesel Sweeties #774: Knock Knock | What if she's not home? / What if she doesn't even remember me? / What if she hates me? / What if she has a boy-friend and he's big and has a dog and we fight and I accidentally kill him and I go to jail for felony manslaughter... in texas?! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=774 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | She's not home! I should go! / What's up, stud?
/ Eep! / You gonna sit out there lampin' all night or come inside? / Click http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=775 |
| Diesel Sweeties #776: Seductive to a point | So, Steve... What brings you here to my sexy, dimly lit bedroom so late at night while I am clad only in red underwear? / My mommy kicked me out of the house! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=776 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: Charles, how come you don't hang out with robots? / Charles: I've spent my life having people treat me like I'm dangerous or only good for labor. / Charles: I guess I just don't like being reminded of how I felt before getting an education. / Clango: So you're a hater? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=777 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura: Clango, I think your cat is gay! / Clango: Roger? Nah. He just doesn't realize that he's neutered.
/ Roger: ZZZ / Clango: I told him that he suffered from 'Peter Pan disease.' / Clango: And one day, a unicorn would come and make him a grown-up.
/ Roger: {{Dreams of a unicorn}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=778 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura: Lil Sis, report! I want all the dirt on Steve. / Lil Sis: He got kicked out of his mom's house. / Lil Sis: He was so drunk, he woke her up to debate religion. / Lil Sis: He was out the door as soon as he said Jesus wore a 'drippy hippy diaper.' / Lil Sis: But it's cool, she's praying for him. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=779 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 >>