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| diesel sweeties: "Miserable Failure" | [[Red Robot is talking to Lil' Sis, who wears a winter hat and a white shirt with a snowflake on it.]]
/ Red Robot: THIS UNIT DESIRES WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION FOR BABY JESUS DAY! / Lil' Sis: You only want one because they're on tv all the time. / Red Robot: BUT ALL THE COOL KIDS HAVE THEM! / Red Robot: I'LL BE A MISERABLE FAILURE IF I CAN'T DESTROY THE WORLD! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=840 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Rock Pete talking with Metal Steve]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: It's the most wonderful time of the year! / Indie Rock Pete: Time to write my annual christmas personal ad! / Indie Rock Pete: "SWM, 21, seeking sexy muslim or atheist. Pear tree meet partridge." / Metal Steve: No money for presents? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=841 |
| diesel sweeties: "She Who Smelted Iron" | [[All the humans are dressed for winter. Indie Rock Pete is talking to Metal Steve]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: Being broke has forced me to use my immense creative genius. / [[Lil' Sis and Red Robot are listening nearby.]]
/ Lil' Sis: Immense penis?
/ Red Robot: THAT'S WHAT I HEARD TOO. / Lil' Sis: I know his ex-girlfriend. He be CRAZY fibbing!
/ Red Robot: OH SNAP! NO YOU DIDN'T! / Lil' Sis & Red Robot: Ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA / Lil' Sis & Red Robot: Ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA ha HA
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=842 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Rock Pete talking to Metal Steve]]
/ Indie Rock Pete; So I'm working as part time Santa at a local girls' college. / [[Indie Rock Pete grins]]
/ Indie Rock Pete; It's an utterly LAP-TASTIC gig! / [[Metal Steve, inquisitive]]
/ Metal Steve; But, aren't you Jewish? / [[Indie Rock Pete is sporting an arisen candy cane]]
/ Indie Rock Pete; So? / {{Sexy Yule Log}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=843 |
| diesel sweeties: "Splatzor" | [[Indie Rock Pete and Metal Steve are outdoors, dressed for winter. Indie Pete is wearing a Santa suit.]]
/ Metal Steve: You're a Jewish Santa? THAT'S a new one. / Indie Rock Pete: Actually, my official title at the college is 'Diversity Counselor!' / Indie Rock Pete: Higher education rules! / Indie Rock Pete: I'm bridging culture and gender gaps and checking out the fine ladies ALL DAY LONG!
/ [[Metal Steve looks askance at us.]] / Indie Rock Pete: And the best part is pointing at the girls I don't like and going 'Ho, ho... SKANK!' Heh! / [[Silence as Pete and Steve smirk at each other.]] / [[Large panel reveals Maura and Lil' Sis behind Indie Rock Pete, and Pete getting slammed squarely upside the head with a big snowball thrown by Maura. Metal Steve looks on in glee.]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=844 |
| Xmas Babies | Pale Suzie; Huh! i had no idea you were a Christmas baby / Maura Glee; Yeah. every Freaking suck-damn year i get gypped on presents. / Maura Glee; I blame Jesus http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=845 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[indie rock pete sits in a large chair dressed as a Jewish santa and Maura looks on in the background]]
/ Pete: SHALOM, LADIES! THE WISHING LAP IS OPEN! / Maura: HE'S REALLY TAKING THIS JEWISH SANTA THING TOO FAR. / Maura: I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE EXPLOITING PEOPLE, NOT HIM! WE NEED TO ACT! / Pale Suzie: WE'RE LIKE SPIES! / Pale Suzie: MAYBE WE CAN EVEN STEAL SANTA'S LIST!!!1! / [[Suzie smiles and Maura looks horrified]] / Suzie: I WAS JOKING http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=846 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{ "Amazing Beard-ventures" }} / [[Indie Rock Pete is lurking behind a pine tree dressed as a Jewish Santa]]
/ Pete (Thinking): A-Ha! Santa smells a doe amongst the pine!" / [[Maura and Suzie are standing in front of said tree]]
/ Maura: Death is too good for him. I say we steal his beard and donate it to poor children. / [[Pete joins the ladies]]
/ Pete: Hey ladies! Who wants to be the first to ask santa for panties?
/ [[The ladies arch eyebrows at each other]] / [[Maura is wearing Pete's beard]]
/ Maura: Christmas always makes me feel like a little girl again. / [[Pete is eyeball deep in a trashcan outside in the snow]]
/ Pete: Santa smells old pizza and condoms. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=847 |
| Giftable Art | [Panel 1]
/ LIL' SIS: Um, thanks. What is it?
/ INDIE ROCK PETE: It's a fried chicken lamp! / [Panel 2]
/ INDIE ROCK PETE: I made it to protest how delicious and cruel fast food is. / [Panel 3]
/ INDIE ROCK PETE: It's a one-of-a-kind piece of avant garde folk art. / [Panel 4]
/ LIL' SIS: I got you a Blockbuster gift card.
/ INDIE ROCK PETE: Ooh! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=848 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[cat approaches empty gift box]] / [[cat goes inside empty gift box]] / [[cat scratches inside of empty gift box]] / [[foul odor comes from gift box as Clango stands near it]]
/ Clango: HONEY! YOUR WEIRD JAPANESE FRIEND SENT US HIS 'SPECIAL HOMEMADE YULE LOG' AGAIN! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=849 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura: THANKS CLANGO! I LOVE MY WHITE STRIPES DRESS! / Clango: YOU'RE WELCOME! / Maura: I GOT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING TOO / Maura: IT'S A LIMITED EDITION FRANK ZAPPA MP3 PLAYER! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=850 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[computers toaster and cat assembled on table]]
/ grandpa: OK KIDS! WHO WANTS WHO FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR? / metal steve: EW! HAVE I STUMBLED UPON SOME BIZARRE MIDGET SEX ORGY? / grandpa: WE'RE FLAT BROKE, FESTIVE AND ADORABLE! WE HAVE TO MAKE DO. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=851 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | indie rock pete: SO, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF MY NEW SONG? / lil sis: OVERBLOWN AND SELF-IMPORTANT. / lil sis: UTTER MASTURBATION! / indie rock pete: SWEET! THANKS! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=852 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{ "All Sad And Stuff" }} / [[Charles and Metal Steve are facing each other, chatting]] / Charles: Hee hee! I know what evil lurks in the hearts of men! / Charles: I can read their internet histories! / Steve: You are a nerd. Go play Dungeons and Dragons! / [[Charles frowns, Steve smirks at the "4th Wall"]] / Charles: Maybe I will. / Charles: Perhaps I'll even roll myself up a new character. / Charles: A little blonde fella with a black skull t-shirt... / Charles: Who likes to look at pictures of girls going tinkle. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=853 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Clango talking to Maura outside in the snow]]
/ Clango: Hoo-boy! I sure love the new year! / Clango: Doesn't it make you think og the potential of our new lives and of fresh beginnings? / Maura: And this is where you ask me to adopt you a new kitten, right? / [[Clango smiles hopefully]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=854 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Clango and Maura talking outside in the snow]]
/ Maura: Clango, you've got to conquer this irrational fear. / Clango: But I can't! The Humane Society is a bunch of racists! / Clango: It's not like I'M the robot that burned those seven puppies alive last year! / [[Shot of Red Robot listening in]]
/ Red Robot: That's because you're lazy! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=855 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [#856: Anal Beginnings] | [[Clango is playing with a little black kitty.]]
/ Clango: Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! / [[Maura stands next to the orange cat (Roger?).]]
/ Maura: Yup, just like the other one you have but don't appreciate. / Clango: Eee!!! So cute! I will call her "John Stamos!" / [[Maura gives look of disbelief to reader.]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=856 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title text: Computer Funnies}} / Metal Steve: Are you making any new year's resolutions? / Charles: Oh yeah! I'm redesigning my weblog. / Charles: My new year's resolution is 1024x768! / Charles: LOL! Lol times a million! / [[Panel background fades darker]]
/ Metal Steve: Is that a computer joke? / Metal Steve: Am I supposed to laugh? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=857 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Kitten's litterbox]]
/ Clango: Look, honey! The kitten makes bigger poops than you do!
/ Maura: I was not aware we were competing.
/ Clango: Little kitten wins first prize! Catnip snacks!
/ Maura: Second prize contains whiskey. I am going to go win it in my room. / [[Maura's toilet]]
/ Maura: Those jerks don't think I can, but I'm gonna win this.
/ Maura: The same way I won the Miss Teen Nipples U.S.A. Contest.
/ Maura: Research and training. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=858 |
| diesel sweeties: "Names Are Powerful Things" | [[Lil' Sis is speaking to Clango]]
/ Lil' Sis: Are you genetically deficient or just plain dense? / Lil' Sis: You can't name a girl cat after TV's John Stamos! / Lil' Sis: Even if he is a comedic genius. / Lil' Sis: What if she turns gay from having a boy's name? / Lil' Sis: Then what happens if all the other cats catch gay from her? / Lil' Sis: Do you even care what happens to America's veterinarians? / Lil' Sis: Spaying and neutering is our first line of defense in the war on terror! / Clango: I am a sexy war criminal. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=859 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Emoticons"}} / [[Metal Steve is sitting at his Berry iMac]] / Steve: :) = SMILE. That means she's leading me on. / Steve: ;) = WINK. That means she's teasing me. / Steve: :( = FROWN. That means she hates me. / Steve: Nothing says emo like emoticons. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=860 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Electron Mike listening to his stereo through clunky headphones]]
/ Electron Mike: Nothing remixes quite like a good polka. / [[A drunken Maura to Clango]]
/ Maura: Nothing refreshes quite like cheap gin! / [[Red Robot with his arms in the air, to a beat-up Metal Steve]]
/ Red Robot #C-63: Nothing glistens quite like blood. / [[Indie Rock Pete, scowling, to an amused Lil' Sis]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: Nothing is any good if other people like it. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=861 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Indie Pete: Why does everything suck?
/ Lil Sis: (blank stare)
/ Lil Sis: Why does everything have to suck?
/ Lil Sis: I sure don't suck! I find myself to be quite awesome.
/ Indie Pete: (dismayed)
/ Indie Pete: Why do *I* suck? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=862 |
| Polinips and Politucks : diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Maura listens to to Puppet Clango, who is in a presidential puppet theater]]
/ Puppet Clango : As your president, I have big ideas for my next term! / Puppet Clango: I promise you an awesome percent increase in RADNESS!
/ [[Maura grins]] / Puppet Clango: Plus you will all be shinier and wealthier at NO EXTRA COST!
/ [[Maura smiles]] / Puppet Clango: Your kids will all things be cooler and things will BLOW UP on tv!
/ [[Maura smirks]] / {{title text - Polinips and Politucks}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=863 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Torpor speaks to an unresponsive cash machine]] / TORPOR ; Hello! Is batman there please? / TORPOR; Yes, this is Torpor. T-O-R-P-O-R. I am in his fan club. / TORPOR; Yes, Torpor will hold. / [[Torpor waits for a reponse]] / [[Torpor still waits for a response, grows tired]] / [[Torpor falls asleep waiting]] / Clango; You poor, lonely cash machine. Why do you lead the boy on like this? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=864 |
| diesStop It Now Please It Hurts | [[orange background, fading to red]]
/ Electron Mike: Wow! You seriously don't know about the Filtered Fags? / Electron Mike: Have you been living under a rock or what? / Electron Mike: They're only the most important British band to happen in ten years! / Indie Rock Pete: Stop being me! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=865 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Kitty Pr0n"}} / [[Roger & John Stamos are playing with Uncle Grandpa]]
/ Roger: < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=866 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Uncle Grandpa: A little help please!
/ [[Red Robot looks down, sees Uncle Grandpa on the ground, lying on his side]]
/ Red Robot: ?
/ [[Red Robot picks up Uncle Grandpa]]
/ Uncle Grandpa: I feel all gay.
/ Red Robot: I feel all pregnanted. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=867 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Lil' Sis walks in on Red Robot holding Uncle Grandpa]]
/ Lil' Sis: Um, hello boyfriend.
/ Lil' Sis: And hello little man he is hugging so tightly.
/ [[Lil' Sis stares]]
/ Lil' Sis: This is kind of hot.
/ [[Red Robot glares]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=868 |
| Vengeful: diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Uncle Grandpa faces off with Clango]]
/ Uncle Grandpa: And then I feel on the floor! And I was picked up and held too tight! And then a girl LAUGHED at me!
/ [[Clango raises an eyebrow]] / Clango: Uncle Grandpa, I've gotta go make dinner. Complain to the cat.
/ [[Uncle Grandpa is not impressed]] / [[Uncle Grandp is seen facing a laptop]]
/ Uncle Grandpa: He's gonna be sorry! / [[A section of Uncle Grandpa's screen appears in a speech bubble]]
/ Username: Sexynineinch
/ Mood: Vengeful [[Red Robot head icon]]
/ Subject: My nephew is such a stupid head
/ {{next line is partially cut off}}
/ Kids these days are so / {{title text - Vengeful}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=869 |
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