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| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Nipples the Bear looking at a large soda cup]]
/ Nipples: May I have some soda? / [[Joel looking on]]
/ Joel: No you may NOT! You will shed perv-fur in it. / [[Nipples talking to Joel]]
/ Nipples: But I'm so clean! / Nipples: I lick myself every day! / [[Joel has moved away from nipples. Spread over 2 panels]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=870 |
| Round And Round : diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Red Robot and Claong face off]]
/ Red Robot: So I said to her, "This unit requires sand-wiches! You have sixty seconds to comply!"
/ [[Clango raises an eyebrow]] / [[Lil Sis and Maura face off, Lil Sis wears her blue hoodie with the hood up]]
/ Lil Sis: So I told him, "Make your own! I ain't yo' Mama"
/ [[Maura smirks]] / [[Red Robot and Claong face off]]
/ Red Robot: It brought up a lot of old feelings.
/ [[Clango looks upset]] / [[Lil Sis and Maura face off, Lil Sis wears her blue hoodie with the hood up, she looks worried]]
/ Lil Sis: It seems his mother's hard drive crashed and she doesn't even remember who he is.
/ [[Maura raises her eyebrows]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=871 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Joel inside looking at himself in a mirror]]
/ Joel: So, um, do you like to have fun? / Joel: I mean do you like to go to whows & stuff? / Joel: Maybe you'd like to go to a show with me sometime? / Joel: Maybe I'll luck out and she hates confident men. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=872 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Joel is trying to hide behind a telegraph pole]] / [[Red Robot comes along]]
/ Red Robot: Joel, are you cowering? / Joel: Maybe.
/ Red Robot: Oh yeah! Who's got a street rep? / Red Robot: I been smokin' fools since back when I was an integrated circuit! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=873 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Rock Pete has a speaker as a head, and is talking to Electron Mike and Metal Steve]] {{This panel is blured, giving the impression of everything vibrating. And it makes my eyes hurt. In a good way.}}
/ Indie Rock Pete: {{Large text}}I AM SUPREMO THE MIGHTY INTELLIGENCE! / Indie Rock Pete: And I bring you hip-hop beats... from the future! / Electron Mike: the future. Sure. How do I die? Who do I marry? / Metal Steve: Will I ever meet gene simmons? / Indie Rock Pete: I cannot say. The past is etched in stone. It cannot be remixed. / [[Electron Mike leaves]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: Come back unbeliever!
/ Metal Steve: I trust you, Supremo. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=874 |
| Lazybones | Red Robot: I was totally gonna kill this guy but I didn't. / Red Robot: I was gonna go back in time and tear his great-grandfather's leg off! / Red Robot: And then pow! / Red Robot: I'd come back and the past would haunt him upside the head with a pair of work boots! / Red Robot: But I didn't. / Red Robot: Instead I got myself these chains as a reward for being so tough. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=875 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | So, Pete. What's up with your new studio album? / What groundbreaking ideas have you got for us in this outing?
/ Uh... / Then I said something meaningful & forever changed how people think about rock music. / Um, I was listening to The Pixies & The Sonic Youth a lot last week. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=876 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Onanism Revisited"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete and Metal Steve are talking]]
/ Pete: HA! So did I tell you about the time I met the lead singer of the Lonely Onanists?
/ Steve: No. / Pete: I yelled at the stage, "QUIT JERKING OFF AND PLAY A DAMN SONG!" / Pete: He threw a brick at me and said they'd never heard THAT one before. / Pete: I guess I'm just really original. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=877 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Red Robot; My girl's so cute, she comes with small fries and a drink / Maura; yeah, well my man's so cool he keeps my vegetables crisp / Red Robot: Yeah, well my girl's so tasty my straw loves her fribble / Maura; Your girl's my sister, you gross out! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=878 |
| "Wait for it" | Lil' Sis: Let's play Indie Hipster Kryptonite Deathtrap!
/ Red Robot #C-63: Hooray for death! / Lil' Sis: You go lurk behind a mailbox.
/ Red Robot #C-63: I am ten ninjas. / Lil' Sis: Now I'll go sneak up on Pete and then you call me.
/ Red Robot #C-63: Ten-four / Lil' Sis: My Limp Bizkit ringtones will do the rest. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=879 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Red Robot: Why are your pants vibrating and singing "Tainted Love?" / Lil' Sis: Um, I can think of tons of reasons! / Red Robot: Any you'd care to share with me? / Joel: She's not answering.
/ Clango: At least you tried! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=880 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Don't be so hard on yourself, Joel! The important thing is you called her. / Every pimp's journey begins with a single call. / Maybe my problem is not that I lack self confidence / Maybe my problem is that all girls hate my guts. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=881 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: It's statistically impossible for ALL girls to hate you! / Clango: Math would never do that to you. Math is a romantic. / Clango: < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=882 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Spoiler Space"}} / [[Maura is reading from a berry iMac]]
/ Maura: "Once again, I called her...and once again, she blew me off." / Maura: "So what do I do now, faced with such total rejection? Plunge on dear reader, into the depths of...MY WEBPAGE!" / [[Lil' Sis enters from left]]
/ Sis: He even added a spoiler warning! / Sis: Scroll down! I've GOT to read what he said about me. / [[Sis and Maura read the computer]] / Maura: Ouch. The really heartbreaking part is his grammar. / Sis: Come on! Keep scrolling! / [[Sis and Maura read on, looking dejected]] / [[And continue reading...]] / [[Sis continues to read...Maura glances at her]] / Sis: Someone is talking about me on the internet. / Sis: I'm important! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=883 |
| diesel sweeties: "Tuff Guyzzz" | Joel: Pete, I need your expert opinion as a promiscuous jerk. / Pete: Hell yeah, my man! I get more play than a six-disc changer in a bitchin' Camaro! / [[The panel goes red and x-treme flames blaze around Indie Pete]]
/ Pete: Vroom! / Joel: Or maybe I'll ask someone more secure in their masculinity. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=884 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Being Gay In America Rules"}} / [[Joel is talking to Indie Rock Pete]]
/ Joel: I think Maura's sister doesn't like me. I called her a couple times but she doesn't answer. / [[Pete is talking to Pale Suzie]]
/ Pete: Apparently Joel has been stalking Maura's lil' sis. / [[Suzie is talking to Metal Steve]]
/ Suzie: That wacko just won't leave the poor girl alone! / [[Steve is talking to Lil' Sis]]
/ Steve: Is it true that you and Joel are both boy-crazy? / Sis: Huh? Joel's gay? And here I thought he was trying to sleep with me. / [[Sis is talking to Joel]]
/ Sis: Hey mama! Wanna go with me to pick out a bedspread? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=885 |
| Cheezy | Indie Rock Pete: It sure is hard work being a pioneering web musician! Like one of them sex-priestesses! / Indie Rock Pete: It's all shaving and oiling and responding to upwards of THREE e-mails a day! Whew! / Metal Steve: Um, being on the internet is not the same as being famous. / Metal Steve: That's like calling CHEETOS "dinner." http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=886 |
| The Ass : diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Maura and Joel face off out in the snow]]
/ Maura: I saw your web post about how my sister keeps snubbing you.
/ [[Joel looks upset]] / Maura: It was extremely whiny! I liked it. / Maura: Just make sure you get tested for the LiveJournal disease.
/ [[Joel looks surprised]] / Maura: You don't want that developing into full-blown blogger's ass.
/ [[Joel looks worried]] / {{title text - The Ass}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=887 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Red Robot: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! I BOUGHT YOU GREAT BRITAIN! / Lil' Sis: I LOVE SCROLLS! THANKS! I BURNED YOU A MIX CD. / Red Robot: IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS. / Lil' Sis: THAT LIAR! THIS DEED IS ONLY FOR WALES! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=888 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura: WHO WANTS THEIR VALENTINE SURPRISE?!
/ Clango: OOH! OOH! I DO! I DO! / [enter "pregnant" Maura] / Maura: WHEN IS A BUN IN THE OVEN NOT A BUN IN THE OVEN? / Maura: WHEN IT'S A SEX DWARF!
/ [reveals R2D2] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=889 |
| Tropical Hotdog night: diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Joel and Indie Rock Pete face off outside, Pete wears a scarf]]
/ Joel: If I were you, I'd kiss me / [[Joel smirks as a (magic) mushroom grows between the two of them]] / Indie Rock Pete: Excellent! That OOZED confidence / Indie Rock Pete: Now try it on a girl / {{title text - Tropical Hotdog Night}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=890 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Maura is callin on her cellphone to the straight edge helpline while she's drunk]]
/ Maura; Hello, straight edge helpline? I think I might be... INTOXICATED! / Maura; Nope, I did not drink or smoke anything. / [[Maura's cellphone emits radiation]]
/ Maura; I just get all goofy and light-headed from cellphone radiation! / [[Maura grins]]
/ Maura; And you 're making it worse by talking with me! HA HA! / [[Maura hangs up the cellphone]]
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=891 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"10 Gigs of Desire"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete and Electron Mike are talking]]
/ Mike: You STILL have a working record player? How quaint! / [[Pete begins greying at the temples]]
/ Pete: Of course I do. Vinyl is the medium of choice for TRUE music lovers. / [[Pete is completely grey-haired]]
/ Mike: Really? I always thought records were an old wives tale. / [[The scene turns backlit, like an iPod ad]]
/ Mike: A fable invented to scare young children into buying iPods. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=892 |
| diesel sweeties: "It Creaks Like My Bones" | [[Electron Mike is talking to Indie Rock Pete]]
/ Electron Mike: I think I owned a Pac-Man Fever record as a kid, but that was it. / Electron Mike: I don't need huge boxes of delicate collectibles to enjoy my music.
/ [Indie Pete appears to be getting worked up over this.]] / Electron Mike: I already collect comic books. / [[Nearby, Maura and Lil' Sis are watching this exchange.]]
/ Maura: Cue remark about how dumb boys are.
/ Lil' Sis: Retort! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=893 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Black: Hey there, Red "Robot" / Black: How's your puny pink human girlfriend today? / Black: I bet you are getting really good at kissing these days. / Black: We robots should not be allowed to try new things. / Black: I know this hurts you but when she dumps you, you'll thank me. / Red: Somenody sound jealous. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=894 |
| diesel sweeties: "The Mother Hen of All Battles" | [[Red Robot's head has been torn off its body by Menace-11, who is holding the head and shaking it as it speaks.]]
/ Red Robot's head: RELEASE ME AT ONCE, YOU CARBONITE CRAPHOUND! / Menace-11: HA! PUCKER UP, HUMAN-LOVER. / Menace-11: PUCKER UP AND KISS MY CHICKEN STICK! / [[Menace-11 frowns as the final panel expands and we see that it is now surrounded by a small gang of Red Robots. One of them is raising its arms as if to attack, and says: ]]
/ Red Robot: MWAH. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=895 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Rock Pete to Menace-11, Indie Rock Pete looks taller than Menace-11]]
/ Indie Rock Pete; Did you get shorter or am I just that cooler? / Menace-11; Leave me alone, I was in a gang war. / Indie Rock Pete; I didn't know Queer Eye show was so violent. / [[Indie Rock Pete is bruised, stuffed inside a trash can and looking the same height as Menace-11]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=896 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Joel talking to Indie Rock Pete]]
/ Joel: you're short and your nose is like a tuber!
/ Indie Rock Pete: Wah! Why do you have me? / Joel: Aww, I don't hate you. I'm just role-playing a dwarf with minus six charisma and a cloak of intestinal duress. / Indie Rock Pete: Oh, ok! / Joel: Dungeon Master sarcasm is wasted on you. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=897 |
| diesel sweeties: "Crispy Delicious Triscuit" | [[Lil' Sis is in bed with Red Robot, who's got its arm around her, while another Red Robot arrives next to the bed, holding a box of Triscuits and wearing an apron that says "CRUSH THE COOK"]]
/ Red Robot in apron: THIS UNIT HAS RETRIEVED TRISCUITS. / Lil' Sis: Dating a robot with a hive-mind is awesome. / Lil' Sis: I feel like the queen of a sexy swarm! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=898 |
| diesel sweeties: "Lo-Carb Street Gang" | [[Clango is speaking to a toaster and holding a limp piece of bread]]
/ Clango: Johnny, why is this bread still soggy? / Clango: Are you depressed?
/ [[The toaster sends up a small puff of smoke]] / Clango: Is that lo-carb street gang still hassling you?
/ [[The toaster continues to send up smoke]] / [[Red Robot arrives on the scene]]
/ Red Robot: SHANK THEM WITH A FRENCH TOAST STICK! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=899 |
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