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| diesel sweeties: Shifting from First to Third and Back to Neutral | [[Maura and Electron Mike are talking]]
/ Electron Mike: MAYBE WE SHOULD CHANGE THE SUBJECT TO SOMETHING OTHER THAN DEATH. / Maura: FUN FACT! WE ADULT MOVIE STARS DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT DYING. / Maura: I'VE PROBABLY THOUGHT ABOUT MY OWN MORTALITY MORE TIMES THAN MOST PEOPLE USE THE TOILET. / Narrator: MEANWHILE, ACROSS TOWN...
/ [[Clango with a kitten]]
/ Clango: OOH! A KITTEN!
/ Kitten: MEW! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1020 |
| Fatal Excretion Error | Maura: Now that you have totally depressed me, I am going to go drink myself into a stupor. / Maura: Later, jerk!
/ Electron Mike: Delete! Delete! Backspace! / Electron Mike: End program! Control-C! Apple-Z! / Electron Mike: Control-Alt-Delete for Christ's sake! / ... / Electron Mike: Why is the world broken? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1021 |
| building a strong base of support | uncle grandpa: our poll numbers suck.
/ red robot: who cares? / uncle grandpa: you had better /start/ caring! we don't get elected if nobody votes robo-cratic. / uncle grandpa: that's how democracy works. / red robot: lol. our whole platform is based on killing humans! / uncle grandpa: i mean to talk to you about that. / uncle grandpa: nobody ever got elected on a platform of 'killing everyone'! / {{n/t}} / uncle grandpa: seriously!
/ red robot: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1022 |
| blood and circumspects | uncle grandpa: we need to court the hu-man vote of we're going to win.
/ red robot: bah! / red robot: good luck. logic is lost on those mobile bacteria farms.
/ uncle grandpa: heh! / uncle grandpa: what of you afraid of, america?
/ pete: taxes!
/ steve: goblins!
/ lil' sis: anyone who doesn't eat at mc donalds! / uncle grandpa: when i am president, i vow to personally shoot all those things in the face!
/ pete: yay!
/ steve: hooray!
/ lil' sis: /blood!/ http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1023 |
| The Dangers of Kitty Cats | clango: [[from offpanel]] kitties are so cute!
/ roger: zzz / clango: i wonder what they're thinking about? / pete: killing us, probably.
/ clango: /what?!/ / pete: cats believe that people are filled with cat food. / pete: they're just wiating for the right moment to devour our crunchy, delicious centers! / clango: i am more than a can of food!
/ black kitty: ! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1024 |
| A Nightmare of an Idiot Son | steve: i love your new haircut! / lil' sis: thanks! i got it on the way home from working at the bowling alley! / lil' sis: how are our children and dog today? / pete: this guitar represents my penis! / lil' sis: oh, peter! did you forget your medicine today?
/ pete: sorry, momma. / {{n/t}}
/ {{and by that i mean no text, not nice tits...}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1025 |
| Extra Tall Butt Shot | lil' sis: wow, nothing spells beauty like three hours sleep. / lil' sis: maybe i can pass this off as a new fashion trend. / lil' sis: assuming i can walk, talk or see straight today. / maura: can i get a little privacy? i'm /trying/ to do my email. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1026 |
| Interweb Stalkosaurus | steve: i can't believe this! my own friend is a lousy /inter-web stalkosaurus!/ / mike: but...but...but...
/ steve: "butt," my ass! i'm wise to you. / steve: i know you asked maura on a date and she said "no" / mike: that's why i asked you for her kid sister's email! / lil' sis: who the hell at my edible thong?! i have a date!! / steve: her little, tiny, inoocent baby /sister!/ http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1027 |
| Pedophilia and Feet | mike: i didn't do anything wrong! she's old enough to be legal. / steve: pedophilia is more than a love of feet, my friend. / mike: but i hate feet! / mike: i don't even walk around my own home without shoes! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1028 |
| Not Overheard on a Train | clango: you need some rest!
/ lil' sis: what a concept. / lil' sis: no matter what i do, i spend all my nights fussin' and frettin' like a colicky newborn. / {{n/t}} / lil' sis: i'm at the point of considering three stooges cosplay. / clango: i could hit you in the head if you want? / lil' sis: [[from off panel]] yes! do it as hard as you can!
/ maura: my own /sister!/ http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1029 |
| Revenge is a Dish Best Served LOL-ed | maura: electron mike! /get over here!/
/ mike: eek! / maura: do you have a camera in your phone?
/ mike: of course! i'm a nerd! / maura: i want you to take a picture of us kissing.
/ mike: but i can't! / [[im screennames and text printed in background]]
/ ElectronMYke: there's no instant msger window!
/ ElectronMYke: :-*
/ ElectronMYke: lol
/ HardUndDeep: :P http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1030 |
| indie rock the vote | torpor: hello, i am gathering signatures on behalf of the local branch of the robocratic party. / torpor: are you a registered voter?
/ pete: of course not! / pete: whatever the majority of people like is /stupid!/ / pete: faccists are the only /real/ trendsetters. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1031 |
| animal, mineral or vegan | torpor: thank you! i just need one more piece of information! / torpor: do you consider yourself hu-man, robot or cyborg? / pete: none of the above. /i am 100% awesome!/ / torpor: i will mark you as polynesian / pacific islander. / pete: /sweet!/ http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1032 |
| The Shadow Hand Who Controls Us All | uncle grandpa: we are totally rocking the vote.
/ red robot: like a hurricane / red robot: we should ask the blessing of 'he who controls all.' / uncle grandpa: you would seek an audience with the great one?
/ red robot: i would dare all to win! / red robot: godfather, we must talk.
/ [[to old school 8-bit nintendo NES]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1033 |
| my boner 'tis of thee | clango: [[from off panel]] candidate grandpa! how do you respond to allegations that you swapped mp3 files with an intern?
/ uncle grandpa: i respond with smug contempt! / uncle grandpa: my boner 'tis of thee / uncle grandpa: sweet rod of libertines! / uncle grandpa: of thee i schwing!
/ clango: he has the press wrapped around his little finger! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1034 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Ghost Zack at home]]
/ Ghost Zack: Hark! A summoning Spell!
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1035 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | zak: why hath thou summoned...the darrkchlyde?
/ suzie: hey, zack. / suzie: i came to give you a big wet kiss from darth maul. / suzie: he misses how your soft caress soothes his troubled soul. / zak: mock not mine cloak of darkness! / suzie: dude, it's a hooded sweatshirt. / zak: look beyond my garb to the evil within! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1036 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Pale Suzie walinkg along outside at night]] / Pale Suzie: Sigh. / Pale Suzie: (thinking) Nihilism just isn't as meaningless as it used to be. / [[Gravestone comes into shot]]
/ Pale Suzie: (thinking) I am a failure as a goth. / Pale Suzie: (thinking) I don't even have any dead relatives to get advice from. / Voice from behind gravestone: I secretly wanted a son. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1037 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Pale Suzie in a graveyard at night. Indie Rock Pete is hiding behind a gravestone]]
/ Pale Suzie: Indie Rock Pete, what the hell are you doing?
/ Indie Rock Pete: Nothing! / Pale Suzie: You hang out in graveyards a lot these days?
/ Indie Rock Pete: Um, I am writing poems. / [[Indie Rock Pete comes out from behind the gravestone]]
/ Pale Suzie: No, seriously.
/ Indie Rock Pete: I miss you. / Pale Suzie: Aww!
/ Indie Rock Pete: I also go kicked out of my house. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1038 |
| enn oh spells you | clango: how about i fix you up with one of my robot friends? / lil' sis: /n-o/ spells "i tried that once and it sucked." / llil' sis: robots are nothing but cold, hard, insensitive, inflexible jerk-heads. / {{n/t}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1039 |
| souther fried sweeties | clango: do you hate /all/ robots or is it just me? / lil' sis: it used to be just you, but i got a lot better at hating. / lil' sis: i found my talent and just went with it, you know? / clango: racism is a talent?
/ lil' sis: a career for some! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1040 |
| Steve Monstro Wolfhard's Guest Comic | {{guest comic by Steve Monstro Wolfhard @ http://www.husker-doo.com/ }}
/ "clango opens up" / red robot: man! i be runnin' a pentimunium 9.6ghz, / red robot: wI' 89 terrabits of quadruple channel ddr ram, / red robot: runin' ten 100 terabyte hard-drives, / red robot: inna raid 3 configuration!!! / red robot: i be built "ford tuff" like /crazy!!!/ / red robot: so what-choo got? / clango: krang! < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1041 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura Glee: Hey! Check this out! Peppermint toothpaste!
/ Lil' Sis: Let me try! / Lil' Sis: Heh! It tastes like a candycane!
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1042 |
| Josh Mirman's Guest Comic | [[Indie Rock Pete talking to Lil' Sis]]
/ Lil' Sis: Indie Rock Pete, you seem down. Tell me of your misery as it makes me feel happy about my life.
/ Indie Rock Pete: I was recently banned from the Something Awful forums, being told that Lowtax doesn't like me. My life feels empty without the board. / Lil' Sis: you are upset about something from the internet?
/ Indie Rock Pete: Excuse me, but did you just call it the "Internet?" I am sorry but ythe new term for it is the EZONE! / Lil' Sis: Let me allow you to know how I feel about all of this in a way you can understand. LOL!1! / Lil' Sis: Everyday I'm gladly reminded by how much of a loser you are.
/ Indie Rock Pete: My LiveJournal's friends list will definately hear about this! / [[Indie Rock Pete sitting in front of a computer writing a journal entry]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: ... Sadly, after that conversation I weeped on my bed for houts. I am sorry to tell you this, my 41 'Friends,' but I cried. I am very sorry, that I did. I wish I knew all of you in person, then perhaps I will be around people who understand me... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1043 |
| Julie Keene's Guest Comic | [[Red Robot with an arm around Lil' Sis]]
/ Red Robot: Little Sister, do you want to hear a joke?
/ Lil' Sis: Yes! / Red Robot: Ok, a physicist, a neurologist and a -
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1044 |
| Steven Cloud's Guest Comic | [[Red Robot outside looking at a bee]]
/ Red Robot: DIE INSECT! / Red Robot: Wait ... What would evil robot Jesus do? / [[Evil Robot Jesus has a fly zapper for a torso]]
/ Evil Robot Jesus: Fly towards the light my children! AND DIE! / [[Red Robot catches the bee]]
/ Red Robot: Oh right! HAHAHA!
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1045 |
| Jeph Jacques' Guest Comic | [[Lil' Sis talkingto Metal Steve. Indie Rock Pete is lsitening to music on a powerbook]]
/ Lil' Sis: Ugh, what the hell is he listneing to? It sounds like a Nintendo having a seizure.
/ Metal Steve: I think it's called "lap-pop". It's some dude whining over cheesy techno beats and old keyboards.
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1046 |
| Kelly Vivanco's Guest Comic | [[Two rodents sittign on drawers in front of lamp looking, one holding popcorn, the other covering his/her eyes]]
/ Rodent #1: OH MY GOSH! / Rodent #1: Did you see that? / [[Clango and Maura in bed, being watched by rodents]]
/ Clango: Isn't this audience making you feel uncomfortable? / Maura: More nostalgic really ... / {{Guest Comic by Kelly Vivanco of Patches} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1047 |
| Rainer Erich Scheichelbauer's Guest Comic | [[Maura on her own]]
/ Maura: Act as if the maxim of your action ... / [[Maura taking off her blouse]]
/ Maura: ... was to become through your will ... / [[Maura in her underwear]]
/ Maura: ... a universal law of nature.* {{Footnote: Immanuel Kant's Categorical Imperative}} / [[Maura in her underware. Electron Mike in foreground]]
/ Electron Mike: One should eat to live, not live to eat.** {{Footnote: Socrates' motto of asceticism}} / {{Guest Comic by Rainer Erich Scheichelbauer of mekkablue.com}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1048 |
| Eric Johnson's Guest Comic | [[Red Robot looking at Roger the Cat]]
/ Red Robot: Sleeping again!?! I was going to tell you my crushing list for to-day! / [[Roger the Cat is dreaming of sitting on Clango's head, whilst clango flies with the aid of wings and rockets]] / [[Roger the Cat and Clango squaring up against Jon Stamos on Red Robot]] / [[Clango's rocket powered fist hits Red Robot]] / {{Guest Comic by Eric Johnson of Radioactive Panda}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1049 |
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