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diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Pale Suzie and Clango in Pale Suzie's house. Argh, the pink!]] / Pale Suzie: Find a seat and I'll make us some tea. / Clango: Ooh, pink! / [[Pale Suzie on her own in the kitchen]] / Pale Suzie: Diet pill addiction and 24-hour Home Depot make for an exotic decor. / [[Clango in a chair, with Lord Taco-Puss looking on. Pale Suzie offscreen]] / Clango: Yikes / Pale Suzie: It's cool. I'm clean, sober + buxom for three years now. / Lord Taco-Puss: Hiss! / [[Pale suzie arrives onscreen]] / Pale Suzie: Lord Taco-Puss is trying to explain that you are in his chair. / Lord Taco-Puss: <>
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Full face shot of Lord Taco-Puss]] / Lord Taco-Puss: <> / [[Pale Suzie is holding Lord Taco-Pus, showing Clango]] / Pale Suzie: Don't take it personally. Lord Taco-Puss hates everyone but me. / Clango: Charming. / Pale Suzie: I found him stapled to a dumpster. / Lord Taco-Puss: <>
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[In Pale Suzie's house, Pale Suzie on screen]] / Clango: Is it safe to come out now? / Pale Suzie: Yup. Kitty is locked in the potty. / Lord Taco-Puss: RRRR / [[Clango and Pale Suzie talking]] / Pale Suzie: He's under a lot of stress at work. / Pale Suzie: He came back thru time to save the future!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Clango talking to Pale Suzie inside]] / Clango: Your CAT is from the future. / Pale Suzie: My cat is from .. THE FUTURE! / Clango: Realllly. / Pale Suzie: Dude, I'm not making any of this up. / Pale Suzie: The cat told me. / Clango: You know, you don't have to act all crazy just to cheer me up. / [[Clango and Pale Suzie embrace.]]
Bloodless Coup red robot: Why hello there, bipedal blood bag! / Maura: What up, lego tits. / red robot: I saw your boy-friend heading over to suzie's earlier. / red robot: They sure seemed to be in a hurry! / Maura: So? / red robot: Use your vagination. / Maura [offpanel]: Grrrrrr! / red robot (bubble 1): Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha / red robot (bubble 2): It is truly a good day to not be alive.
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Electron Mike in bed at home]] / <> / <> / Electron Mike: ZZZ / [[Room is shaking]] / Electron Maike: Gah! / [[Electron mike opens door to see Red Robot waiting]] / Electron Mike: Hey, I was sleeping! / Red Robot: Lazy troll-man should answer the damn door! / [[Pan to see mesage DIE beaten into the wall]] / Red Robot: This unit hates leaving messages.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Clango talking to Pale Suzie on her doorstep]] / Clango: Thanks for a fun night. / Pale Suzie: I pity the fool who don't call me tomorrow. / [[Clango leaves]] / Pale Suzie: Make sure to drink your milk! / Clango: Word, I will! / [[Widescreen, door closes, shot of bushes]] / [[Lights on bushes turn on]] / [[Maura appears from behind bushes]] / Maura: I waited until I was drunk to cheat on him and THSI is the thanks I get?
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Pale Suzie at home reading, wearing glasses. Lord Taco-Puss asleep on the arm of the chair]] / <> / <> / Pale Suzie: OMG! (Where the "G" stands for gravy!) / [[Pale Suzie gets up to answer door]] / Pale Suzie: Now be a good kitty so mama can go cook up some lady gravy. / [[Pale Suzie opens door]] / Pale Suzie: Awww, you're not a nice boy who changed his mind. / [[Back to the chair, Pale Suzie's reading glasses are flying across frame with bood too. Lord Taco-Puss has arched his back]] / <>
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[View of Pale Suzie's left hand, with "Call Me!" written on it.]] / Pale Suzie: (thinks) On the one hand, he DID say tha he was single. / [[View of Pale Suzie's right hand, with blood on it]] / Pale Suzie: (thinks) But on the other, his girlfriend does seem to disagree. / [[View of Maura standing over Pale Suzie]] / Maura: Damn. / [[Pale Suzie stands up, had a bloody nose]] / Maura: I felt a lot less bad about this when I was planning it.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Maura looking at Pale Suzie, who is fuming]] / Pale Suzie: Give me one reason I shouldn't deck you right back in the damn face. Please. / Maura: Dude, sorry. / Pale Suzie: "Sorry"? / Maura: Well, you shouldn't be messing around with my boyfriend. / Pale Suzie: You have a boyfriend? / Pale Suzie: Maybe it's none of my business, but that is NOT what he said. / Pale Suzie: I'mm gonna go wash my face. YOU explain to my cat why I'm bleeding. / [[Pale Suzie goes offscreen, Lord Taco-Puss is offscreen too]] / Pale Suzie: Try not to give him any incurable diseases when he cuts you open. / Lord Taco-Puss: <>
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Indie Rock Pete with stupid hair in front of a computer. Vegan Chick offscreen]] / Indie Rock Pete: @!#?! / Vegan Chick: Jeez! / [[Vegan Chick comes onscreen]] / Vegan Chick: Does your mom know you blog with that mouth? / Indie Rock Pete: Huh? I blog with my hands. / Vegan Chick: Oh, what a waste of good hands. / Indie Rock Pete: <> / Vegan Chick: Hello, I am a girl being playfully assertive! / [[Indie Rock Pete's stupid hair flops down, and becomes stupid emo hair]] / Vegan Chick: I guess that means I do not exist.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Red Robot talking to Electron Mike, outside in the snow]] / Red Robot: Meat! Attend my words! / Red Robot: You will assist me in finding the true spirit of christmas! / [[Large image. Red Robot is coveredin blood, and has drawn an image of Santa in the snow, and coloured it with blood. Electron mike is lying partially offscreen looking hurt]] / Red Robot: Wheee!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Suzy: How was your winter solstice, Zack? / Zack: Even the longest night of the year is not dark enough for my tastes. / Suzy: Damn, that's committment. / Zack: Bah. / Zack: Baron_Draculs wussed out and we didn't even have a blood sacrifice. / Zack: We had to eat tato skins and pretend they were scabs. / Suzy: What does blood have to do with-- / Zack: Silence! / Zack: Do not question our ancient rituals! / Suzy: I'd have been there but I was busy vernally equinoxing my new man.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Clango: Uh oh. Adrianne, hide me! / Adrianne: <> / [[Maura walks up to Clango and Adrianne.]] / Maura: Hi, Clango. / Clango: Why, hello! I did not see you there. / Maura: Are you hiding from me? / Clango: Of course not! Ha ha, how silly! / Maura: Then what's wrong? / Clango: Um, I thought I heard a velociraptor! / Clango: Why, oh why do I let this irrational fear of dinosaurs rule my life!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Maura: I can't believe him! He didn't even want to talk to me. / Lil' Sis: I'm no ouija board but I wonder if this has anything to do with cheating on him? / Maura: I was drunk. That totally doesn't count. / Lil' Sis: I'm not gonna waste my time debating with you. Does this look like the internet? / Lil' Sis: Enjoy spending Xmas alone with your booze & your moral outrage. / Lil' Sis: I'll be at the movies flirting with sexy Jewish guys.
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Roger the Cat and Joe Stamos on a desk with a chemistry set.]] / [[Clango on his own]] / <> / [[Back to the desk. A flask has been knocked over]] / Clango: My brand-new chemistry set! / [[Back to Clango]] / Clango: Which of you nasty beasties was dropping science?!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Map showing Alaska, and in background another of Nevada]] / Alaska: Oh, that Texas thinks he's so big! / Nevada: Okla-boner you mean! / [[Vegan Chick and Indie Rock Pete]] / Vegan Chick: Heh, um that's very funny. / Indie Rock Pete: Beig a cartoonist is easy! / [[Lil' Sis looking on]] / Lil' Sis: I'm not sleeping with you, so I'm gonna tell you honestly just how badly you suck.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Lil' Sis walking along outside]] / Lil' Sis: (Thinks) Why is my ass warm? / Lil' Sis: (Thinks) I mean it's always been HOT, but this is something different. / Lil' Sis: (Thinks) It's trying to tell me something. / [[Dual panel shot, as if through a pair of shades, Lil' Sis is visible form behind in the second]]
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Electron Mike wearing glasses. Lil' Sis offscreen. Outside in the daytime]] / Lil' Sis: Hey, nerd! / [[Lil' Sis appears onscreen]] / Electron Mike: Yes? / Lil' Sis: Keep staring at my ass like that and you'll burn a hole in my pants! / [[No dialogue]] / Lil' Sis: That doesn't mean to keep doing it!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Electron Mike and Lil' Sis talking outside in the daytime]] / Lil' Sis: There is a name for guys like you. / Electron Mike: "Gross"? / Lil' Sis: It's more specific than that. / Electron Mike: "Mike"? / Lil' Sis: Quit interrupting me! / Lil' Sis: Sit there with your pop-tart slot shut and let me finish belittling you. / Electron Mike: Okay. / Lil' Sis: I SAID SHUT UP! / [[No dialogue]] / [[Electron Mike blows a raspberry]] / [[Electron Mike standing in a Buddy Jesus pose]] / Lil' Sis: I liked you better when you realized you were a loser.
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Metal Steve and Indie Rock Pete outside a record store]] / Metal Steve: I hate this store. They always try to make me feel dumb. / Inde Rock Pete: That's why it's such a good shop! / Indie Rock Pete: A real record store doesn't just take your money - / [[They go inside]] / Indie Rock Pete: They make you PAY.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Widescreen shot of the inside of a record store. Cobwebs and empty shelves. Indie Rock Pete and Metal Steve talking]] / Indie Rock Pete: There you have it - the most exclusive record shop in town! / Metal Steve: Um, where are the records? / Metal Steve: I see two Hootie & The Blowfish albums and a Bee-Gees single. / Indie Rock Pete: That's the trick! They're testing my musical knowledge. / Indie Rock Pete: Once they see how smart I am, they'll let me into the back room where all the real good stuff is! / Metal Steve: That's a lot of work just to get to spend money. / Metal Steve: Five bucks says this is secretly a meth lab.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Uncle Grandpa on a desk with a phone]] / <> / Uncle Grandpa: Aw, jeez. There goes my whole day. / Uncle Grandpa: It's either not for me or someone I don't even like. / Uncle Grandpa: The best thing I can hope for is a tele-marketer. / <> / Uncle Grandpa: I hate phones. / Uncle Grandpa: These things shouldn't have so much power over me. I probably need to go on meds. / [[Uncle Grandpa answers the phone. Somehow.]] / Uncle Grandpa: ... Hello? / Uncle Grandpa: Stupid ass hung up! / <> / [[Clango and Pale Suzie eating pizza. Clango holding a phone]] / Clango: Who doesn't pick up the phone when the called I.D. says "Free Pizza"? / Pale Suzie: More for us!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Indie Rock Pete and Vegan Chick talking]] / Indie Rock Pete: You're breaking up with me? / Indie Rock Pete: But... But... But... We haven't even expletive deleted! / Vegan Chick: Huh! Funny how that worked out. / Vegan Chick: I'm not sure there is room in my life for love and bubble tea. / Indie Rock Pete: You're dumping me over a drink? / Indie Rock Pete: But it's not even alcoholic! / Vegan Chick: I knew you'd understand.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Lil' Sis standign alone, with her eyes closed. Indie Rock Pete offscreen]] / Lil' Sis: (Thinks) Keep your eyes closed and pretend to be a fence post. / Indie Rock Pete: Le sigh! If only I had a friend to whine to. / [[Indie Rock Pete appears.]] / [[Lil' Sis opens an eye]] / Lil' Sis: Crap. / Indie Rock Pete: I'm sneaky AND needy.
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Lil' Sis and Indie Rock Pete talking outside in the daytime]] / Indie Rock Pete: I got dumped. / Indie Rock Pete: I will never know the sublime joy of making sexy in the shower. / Lil' Sis: Oh, my stomach. / Indie Rock Pete: Oh, my heart. / Lil' Sis: I don't think you were ever gonna get to make HER water wetter, dude. / Lil' Sis: That dirty hippie girl didn't seem like the washing type. / Indie Rock Pete: What does that have to do with surface tnesion?
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Lil' Sis and Indie Rock Pete talking]] / Lil' Sis: You should call her and tell her off! / Indie Rock Pete: No thanks lil' dude. / Lil' Sis: Aw, come on! I want a laugh. / Indie Rock Pete: I don't "do" cell phones. / Indie Rock Pete: Those things are out generations cigarette. Hip, snazzy, fatal. / Lil' Sis: Pish-posh and boo on you, luddite! / Lil' Sis: Cell phones help keep you safe! What if your car breaks down? / Indie Rock Pete: Fifty tears ago, people thought tobacco was nutritious. / Indie Rock Pete: I'm not risking the brain damage and cancer. / Lil' Sis: But you smoke. / Indie Rock Pete: Yes, but it's IRONIC.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Split panel view of the inside of a house. Clango and Pale Suzie in one half, Metal Steve in the other. The divide in the panels moves towards metal Steve each frame, until it's barely bigger than he is]] / Clango: You wanna go out tonight? / Pale Suzie: Lets leave that to th capricious whims of fate! / Metal Steve: Guys, I need some advice about a girl. / Clango: Where would Jesus disco? / Pale Suzie: That's more free will than fatalism. / Metal Steve: She made me a mix CD and I kind of fell in love with her. / Clango: I once was lost but then I found my condoms. / Pale Suzie: Apparently bad jokes are inevitable. / Metal Steve: I'm worried that maybe I'm reading too much into it. / Clango: Will a million boners & a million camcorders eventually create the works of Ron Jeremy? / Pale Suzie: Inquiring monkeys want to know! / Metal Steve: Guys?
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Torpor and Maura talking outside in the snow]] / Torpor: Hello, juicy orange Maura tangerine lady! / Maura: Hey. / Torpor: Torpor is curious: How are you today? / Maura: Utterly alone. / Torpor: Is that nice? / Maura: It's horrible. / Torpor: I bet you can get lots of work done! / Maura: Yeah, life is AMAZING.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Torpor and Maura talking outside in the snow]] / Torpor: Torpor is sad to see you so lonely. / Maura: Welcome to the team. / Torpor: Torpor will get you a hot date with his friend! / Maura: Just FYI- I have a rule that I can't date two dudes with the same name. / Torpor: Ralph? / Maura: Sadly. / Torpor: Mark? / Maura: Yup. / Torpor: Chang? / Maura: Yeah. / Torpor: Raymond? / Maura: Oui. / Torpor: Levar? / Maura: Totally. / Torpor: Tracy? / Maura: Eww! / Maura: Isn't that a GIRL'S name?
 

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