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diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Lil' Sis and Indie Rock Pete talking indoors]] / Lil' Sis: Not all actors should direct. / Indie Rock Pete: Not all models should act. / Lil' Sis: Not all atheletes are heros. / Indie Rock Pete: Not all guitarists should sing. / Lil' sis: Not all drug dealers make good rappers. / Indie Rock Pete: Do all bigots make such GREAT racists?
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Indie Rock Pete talking to Lil' Sis indoors]] / Indie Rock Pete: Let's make a deal. If I can make you laugh, you have to sleep with me. / Lil' Sis: This administration does not negotiate with terrorists! / Indie Rock Pete: Can I at least tell my joke? / Lil' Sis: If you must. / Indie Rock Pete: What did Johnny Cash say to the LiveJournal? / Lil' Sis: Um, I give up. / Indie Rock Pete: "I blogged a man just to see the replies" / [[If there were pixelated tumbleweeds, one would be blowing across this frame]]
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Clango talking to Maura indoors]] / Maura: What do you mean, I "drink too much"? / Maura: I'll have you know I'm not addicted, I am cursed! / Clango: Let me guess, you pissed off a wizard? / Maura: It was an elf, you judgemental mannequin! / Clango: Riiight. / Maura: Fie on thee! / [[Maura turns into an elf]] / Maura: Scoff not 'till you TOO have crossed swords with Badnoozio Dingoboots, dark elf of Candytown!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Clango and Maura talking inside]] / Maura: Don't give me that "No means no" crap! / Maura: I was in the focus group that coined that little gem. / Clango: I can't sleep with someone I don't trust. / Maura: That's a new one. / Clango: I'm just not wired that way. / Maura: Ouch. / Maura: Taht pun deserves a revenge rhyme. / Maura: There once was a can who fancied himself a man - / Maura: Um. / Clango: And? / Maura: And limericks are hard, so SHUT UP!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Vegan Chick and Indie Rock Pete talking]] / Vegan Chick: Pete, how do you decide how to spend your money? / Indie Rock Pete: Simple. I don't have any. / Vegan Chick: Silly goose! I didn't mean that literally. Your mom's credit card counts too. / Vegan Chick: I check the human rights record of every company I ca... / Indie Rock Pete: BAH! / Vegan Chick: Don't you care about corporate responsibility? Ethics? Fair Trade? / Indie Rock Pete: Ethics are a luxury for people who can afford new pants.
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Vegan Chick and Indie Rock Pete talking]] / Vegan Chick: What do you mean, you don't have ANY ethics? / Vegan Chick: No one is that much of a jerk! / [[Indie Rock Pete smiles]] / Vegan Chick: Are you that much of a jerk? / Indie Rock Pete: "Jerk" is such a loaded term. / Vegan Chick: I can't believe I let you sniff my navel ring! / Indie Rock Pete: I can't believe that your bellybutton smells like cheese!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Widescreen shot of Jon Stamos on his back playing with a spider on a string toy]] / [[Clango and Pale Suzie talking. Clango is holding the toy]] / Clango: It seems like yesterday she was a defenseless puffball with a goopy eye. / Clango: Now she's old enough to kiss boys, smoke cigarettes and cuss. / Clango: What? / Pale Suzie: You're really weird about your cats. / Pale Suzie: Can I be your cat? / Jon Stamos: <>
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Pale Suzie and Clango outside in the snow. Pale Suzie has a kitty hat on]] / Pale Suzie: Meow! I'm a kitty. / Clango: I suppose that makes me a furry. / [[Indie Rock Pete looking on. Behind him is a sign with his face on, saying "EW"]] / Indie Rock Pete: This si a clearly marked no grossing me out zone! / [[Back to Pale Suzie and Clango]] / Pale Suzie: Mrow? / Clango: Purr! / [[Back to Indie Rock Pete. Sign now reads "YIF"]] / Indie Rock Pete: Why can't th elaw protect me from everything I don't like?
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Red Robot on his own]] / Red Robot: My life is empty without my work. / Red Robot: The satisfying crunch of bone against metal. / Red Robot: The wispy trails of steam when hot blood splashes cold snow. / Red Robot: The way a snootful of marrow makes you feel like a kid inside. / Red Robot: Sigh. / [[Maura talkinbg to Red Robot]] / Maura: Red, I need you to beat the beans out of someone. / Red Robot: Jesus loves me!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Maura and Red Robot talking outside in the snow]] / Maura: Red Robot, how good are you at beating information out of people? / Red Robot: Mom was a nightstick and pappy was a nunchuck. / Maura: Not a pair of nunchucks? / Red Robot: Pappy was in the war. / Red Robot: Pappy was a survivor.
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Red Robot #C-63 and Electron Mike are standing next to each other]] / Red Robot #C-63: WHY HELLO THERE, FRAGILE FREDDY. / Electron Mike: HUH? MY NAME IS ELECTRON MIKE. / Red Robot #C-63: YOUR NAME IS FRAGILE FREDDY. / Red Robot #C-63: {{glaring}} YOU AND MY FISTS ARE GOING TO HAVE A DISCUSSION ON THE NATURE OF TRUTH.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[All panels widescreen. Metal Steve and Lil' Sis are talking to Indie Rock Pete]] / Metal Steve: Hey, Indie Rock Pete! / Lil' Sis: Settle an argument for us on what's worse... / Indie Rock Pete: Of course, I'm brilliant. / Metal Steve: ... Working a job you hate every singhle day to support your art - / Lil' Sis: Or selling your art out completely so you can be free to experiment later? / Indie Rock Pete: Gak. / [[Indie Rock Pete collapses]] / Metal Steve: Is he dead? / Lil' Sis: I'll poke him with a stick!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Lil' Sis talking with Metal Steve]] / Lil' Sis: Steve, youv'e never been with a girl, right? / [[Metal Steve looks around]] / Metal Steve: (Quietly) Right. / Metal Steve: Thank you for making me admit it out loud. / Metal Steve: Again. / Metal Steve: In public. / Metal Steve: Even though you know the answer.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Lil' Sis talking to Metal Steve]] / Lil' Sis: Quit feeding me your bad science. / Metal Steve: Back off! I just KNOW. / Lil' Sis: It's all guesswork! No proof! / Metal Steve: Shut up! I do SO like girls! / Lil' Sis: Bah! Prove it, Fermi. / Metal Steve: I will! / Metal Steve: ... But it requires complicated scientific theorems YOU wouldn't understand. / Lil' Sis: Try me. / Lil' Sis: D o me hard like a doctoral thesis, you big, smart MAN!
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Metal Steve talking to Lil' Sis]] / Metal Steve: Why are you hassling my ding dong so hard today? / Metal Steve: What did my ding dong ever do to you? / Lil' Sis: Nothing! That's the problem. / Lil' Sis: I dunno, I guess boys in general are getting uglier lately. / Lil' Sis: Can you blame me for trying to rock what few power chords might be left? / [[No dialogue]] / [[Metal Steve has suddenly become a member of Kiss]] / Metal Steve: Mommy always said I was a star child.
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Clango talking to Maura]] / Maura: I don't trust love. / Maura: Love is irrational. / Maura: Love is a selfish chemical reaction. / Maura: Love is a primal survival instinct. / Clango: What's your point? I am a robot and WE are more broken up than pangea. / [[Shot of Lil' Sis listening in]] / Maura: I want you back! / Lil' Sis: (thinks) Pretty sneaky, sis.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Clango and Maura talking]] / Maura: So, my bed or yours? / [[No dialogue]] / Clango: You can't just flip a switch and expect me to get back with you! / Maura: Switch, dial, button, lever, whatever! / Maura: Take yoiur pick and we'll call it the illusion of free will. / Maura: Now lay back and strap a saddle to your junk.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Clango, with Maura offscreen]] / Maura: Chop chop! Make with the boners! / [[Maura comes on taking her t-shirt off]] / Maura: You know you wanna. / [[Maura undoing her bra]] / Clango: I'm seeing someone else. / Maura: The squishy goth girl? / [[Maura goes offscreen]] / Maura: Explain to me why I should care from over here on my waterbad. / [[Widescreen. There's a large hole in the wall leading ot outside. Maura is in bed]] / Maura: What a jerk.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Lil' Sis and Indie Rock Pete talking outside in the snow]] / Lil' Sis: Don't give me that look. / Indie Rock Pete: What look? / Lil' Sis: No. 0214-G: "I have no valentine" / Lil' Sis: One part sad eyes, two parts loser attitude and a dash of indecisiveness. / Lil' Sis: Not to be confused with no. 3402-F... / Indie Rock Pete: "I hate this holiday."
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Pale Suzie and Clango talking inside. Pale Suzie is holding a velentine's card]] / Clango: Do you kile it? / Pale Suzie: You are so weird. It's perfect. / Clango: I drawed it myself. / [[Widescreen shot of the card. Picture of a giant octopus. Card reads: "I've got a 'giant' crush on you\from the bottom of my inks sac"]]
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Clango: I like you. / Pale Suzie: I like you, too. / Clango: You wanna get married? / Pale Suzie: Hell, no! / Pale Suzie: Nothing personal. I just don't want to change my email. / Pale Suzie: Do you have any idea how lucky I was to get suzie.storm@gmail.com? / Clango: Romance is dead. / Pale Suzie: How about I let you do me in my tax break?
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Red Robot talking to Metal Steve]] / Red Robot: Hu-man! Remove yourself from my path or be divested of vital organs! / Metal Steve: Rah rah rah! You'd have more friends if you smiled more. / Metal Steve: Oh wait, you CAN'T. you're a jolly rancher with eyeballs. / Metal Steve: I should not have said that.
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Metal Steve looking bruised and beaten]] / [[Red Robot walking away]] / Red Robot: This unit would happily kick you further but has important places to be. / [[Lil' Sis talking to Metal Steve]] / Lil' Sis: Ow, dude. / Metal Steve: Your empathy is legend. / Lil' Sis: Most bullies are just acting out because of troubles at home. / Metal Steve: He's a millionaire who lives alone in a gold mansion on a mountain. / Lil' Sis: The mountain might be a volcano. / Metal Steve: The gold would melt!
The Truth is the Simplest [[Lil' Sis is talking to Red Robot off-frame.]] / Lil' Sis: Hey, Red Robot! Hold up a sec. / Red Robot: Faster, pussycat! Kill! Kill! / [[Lil' Sis and Red Robot are talking, both in-frame.]] / Lil' Sis: We need to talk. / Red Robot: Translation: You wish to yell at me. / Lil' Sis: Can you stop beating up Steve? He thinks you hate him. / Red Robot: Do not apply your pathetic human emotions to my actions, skinling. / Lil' Sis: You're a real jerk lately. / Red Robot: "Lately" Ha Ha Ha! / Lil' Sis: You were way nicer to me when we were dating. / Red Robot: This unit's highly evolved behavioral patterns are beyond what your puny meat brain can comprehend. / Lil' Sis: You mean I have a vagina. / Red Robot: Crude, but accurate
Multitasking is a Myth [[Lil' Sis and Red Robot are talking.]] / Lil' Sis: You need to start being nice to people. / Red Robot: What ever. / Lil' Sis: You will regret it some day. / Red Robot: Actions are meaningless! / Red Robot: I do what I want, when I want to. / Lil' Sis: Are you a nihilist or are you just happy to see me? / [[Red Robot looks down and goes '!']] / Red Robot: My programming does not allow both at once.
 
Aberrant Behavior [[Indie Pete and Lil' Sis are talking.]] / Indie Pete: It's always weird when I find out a band I like is younger than me. / Indie Pete: I guess it's natural to assume famous people are more accomplished and therefore older. / Lil' Sis: What about the Olsen twins? / Indie Pete: The Olsen twins are an aberration.
Statistically, Clango Gets Laid More [[Indie Pete and Clango are talking.]] / Indie Pete: Girls are crazy! / Clango: No, they aren't. / Clango: Girls are statistically no more crazy than guys are. They're just stereotyped. / Indie Pete: Diplomacy is for dipthongs! Don't be such a P.C. weenie. / Indie Pete: In my experience, girls are crazy. / Clango: Well, maybe a girl would have to be insane to kiss you. / Indie Pete: Boys are jerks. / Clango: Yes, we are.
The Half Life of a Boner [[Lil' Sis and Clango are talking.]] / Clango: Hey, how's Maura these days? / Lil' Sis: You mean, "How is my sister since you dumped her ass?" / [[Clango looks sad. Lil' Sis looks smug.]] / Clango: Thanks for being so sensitive. / Lil' Sis: I am the best sister ever! / Lil' Sis: Careful Analysis of recent sounds in her bedroom indicate that she is over you.
Politicking with Torpor [[Red Robot and Torpor are talking.]] / Red Robot: Hu-mans! Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em fast enough! / Torpor: Feeble fleshy fools! / [[Indie Pete and Torpor are talking.]] / Indie Pete: Why don't girls appriciate how awesome I am? / Torpor: Bone brained broads. / [[Joel in furry-wear and Torpor are talking.]] / Joel: People make fun of me for boffing teddy bears. / Torpor: Hateful hairless halflings. / [[Torpor is alone.]] / Torpor: Why must Topor hate people just to be friends with other people?
If there's anything better in this world, who cares? [[Close up of Pale Suzie's panties! They have a picture of a page on them and say "Read me first."]] / [[Clango and Pale Suzie are talking.]] / Clango: Ha! Is there a nerd lingerie store where you get those? / Pale Suzie: Yeah, we call it the internet.
 

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