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diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Eve: You don't 'do' girls? / Maura: I don't 'do' girls. / Eve: What about a cute, boyish girl with a huge boner for you? / Eve: I could even wear a necktie. / Maura: ! / Maura: Who told you that I liked to be choked?!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1200
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Lil' Sis: Spring has sprung. / Indie Rock Pete: Like an old pocketwatch with Viagra and a young wife! / Lil' Sis: Your similes really suck. / Indie Rock Pete: Like an orangutan turning tricks on the Sunset Strip?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1201
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Lil' Sis: Everyone thinks that I'm slutty. It's just not fair. / Lil' Sis: I don't have that many boyfriends. / Indie Rock Pete: Maybe it's for another reason. / Indie Rock Pete: I think you move to a sexier tax bracket when we factor in all your girlfriends. / Indie Rock Pete: Anyway, I don't think you're slutty. / [[Lil' Sis smiles]] / Indie Rock Pete: You're every bit as wholesome as sleeping in vaseline.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1202
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Lil' Sis: Dang it! I don't want people think I'm a slut. / Lil' Sis: That's my advantage in a highly competitive marketplace! / Indie Rock Pete: You might see yourself changing every day, but human beings have long and selective memories. / Indie Rock Pete: People have a hard time accepting change in others. / Indie Rock Pete: Proving yourself all over again to people is really hard work. / Lil' Sis: Hello vast, untapped new market! I mean 'friends'.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1203
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Electron Mike holding a piece of scrap paper, reading]] / Electron Mike: We wound up deducting about $6,000 for thong underwear. / Maura: Operation: Enduring Freedom from panty lines! / Electron Mike: And we wrote off like $2,000 for laser hair removal. / Maura: A stern warning to the waxes of evil! / Electron Mike: $1,500 for condoms! That's up quite a bit since fiscal 2003. / Maura: Homeland Security - The best defense against foreign invaders! / Electron Mike: The government actually PAID you to make porn this year. / Maura: Mission accomplished!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1204
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [animated] / [[Simon Says lights blink]] / Uncle Grandpa: Take it back, you beeping buffoon! / Uncle Grandpa: I will not just sit here and be mocked, you screenless novelty! / Simon Says: !!! / Clango: Quit bickering, you two! / Clango: Simon, you may have had too much to drink. Maybe you should go home before you blink something you'll regret.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1205
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Uncle Grandpa makes a sad bomb face.]] / Clango: Uncle Grandpa, why are you so cranky lately? / Uncle Grandpa: The more history you see, the more histrionic you get. / Uncle Grandpa: When you're pushing twenty like I am, you'll understand.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1206
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Clango Cyclotron: Maybe it's time to defrag the ol' hard drive, Gramps. / Uncle Grandpa: BAH! Don't try to give me any of that alternative medicine hoo-doo-poo-poo. / Uncle Grandpa: I don't trust some hippy with an 'Elf of the year' t-shirt and hemp eyeglasses to be MY doctor. / Uncle Grandpa: Give me good old fashioned modern medicine any day.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1207
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Eve: I like dating you. An ex-porn star is good for my post-feminist street cred. / Eve: I also find that older women know more knock-knock jokes. / Maura: I'm not too old for you? / Eve: Old? HAH! Baby, you're the hottest little prime number since THREE.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1208
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Eve: You're young at heart & I'm barely legal. / Maura: A match made in heaven. / Eve: How old are you, anyway? / Maura: In Pope years? I am a mere infant. The wee-est of wee-ing babes. / Eve: ROFL! What's my Pope age? / Maura: Let's just say your Jesus eggs don't even recognize your Holy Sperm's number on caller I.D. yet. / Eve: Are you drunk? / Maura: I am liquor's humble servant.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1209
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Red Robot #C-63: Is everyone ready to go? / Torpor: Party time egg salad! / Menace-11: Hang on! / Red Robot #C-63: Shake a leg, we are going to be late. / Menace-11: I'm still getting ready. / Red Robot #C-63: Just grind the rust off and get your ass in gear! Pun intended. / Menace-11: Is this a formal affair? / Menace-11: I can't decide if I should go in robot form or transform to gun-mode!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1210
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Uncle Grandpa: N-O spells 'I don't wanna!' / Clango: Sorry, pops. Non-people are already on their way over. / Uncle Grandpa: I hereby invoke my birthday wish. I don't want a party. / Clango: Too late! We are past the party event horizon. / Uncle Grandpa: I am totally gonna make my sad Mac face. / Clango: Keep that up and it'll be burned into your screen forever.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1211
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Uncle Grandpa's birthday party with "over the hill" banner and Moof balloons]] / Red Robot #C63, Menace-11, Torpor, Clango: Happy birthday, Uncle Grandpa! / Uncle Grandpa: Grr / Girlfriend: Happy birthday, Leonard. / Uncle Grandpa: Thank you, mostly off-panel girlfriend who makes me feel young again! / [[Panel turns red with Uncle grandpa's blazing anger]] / Uncle Grandpa: The rest of you jerks can go to hell for trying to make me feel old! I'll outlive all of you!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1212
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Girlfriend: Leonard, aren't you enjoying your birthday party? / Uncle Grandpa: Bah! / Uncle Grandpa: Ever hear of 'Moore's Law of Birthdays'? / Uncle Grandpa: Every year, you're twice as likely to want to ignore your birthday. / Uncle Grandpa: But every year, other jerks are twice as likely to make a big deal out of it.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1213
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Metal Steve: Ohh, boy. What did you do now? / Maura: You know how people get their kids a pet rabbit on Easter- / Maura: But the kids think the rabbit is a toy and don't care for it properly? / Metal Steve: You adopted a bunny? / Maura: Yes, if by "bunny" you mean "girl who I should not have slept with".
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1214
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Pope Virgin the Awesometh"}} / [[Metal Steve and Maura are talking]] / Maura: I assumed that making out with a random girl would make me feel better about getting dumped. / Maura: But now I just feel guilty for leading her on. / Maura: Guilty and sticky, but mostly guilty. / Steve: That's why I'm a virgin! / Steve: As long as I never SLEEP with a lady, I can never DISSAPPOINT a lady. / [[Steve frowns at Maura's leer]]
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1215
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"If X Is A Jerk Then Y Is Co-Dependent"}} / [[Metal Steve and Maura are talking]] / Metal Steve: In response to your offer, i am: / flattered. / X NOT INTERESTED. / asian. / other. / Metal Steve: Please choose one. / Maura: I understand if you don't want to go out with me. / Maura: But why do you have to make fun of my test-taking enxiety? / Maura: I don't make fun of your fear of graphing calculators. / [[Maura "says" a flashing sine wave on an X & Y axis, to Steve's chagrin]]
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1216
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"An Injunction Against Fun"} / [[Nipples the Bear and Clango are underwater, bubbles streaming from Nipples' head, the water drains a bit each frame]] / Nipples the Bear: I can't concentrate worth a hill of beans these days. / Nipples the Bear: It can't be my diet. I quit meat, booze smokes and ding dongs. / Nipples the Bear: It can't be stress. My discrimination lawsuits have got my rent paid until armageddon. / Clango: I wonder if it has anything to do with your court-ordered chemical castration? / Nipples the Bear: That's crazy talk! The government would never do anything to hurt anyone.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1217
Vaguely in Love [[Eve and Lil' Sis are talking]] / Lil' Sis: Tally-ho, Eve. / Eve: Can we talk? / Lil' Sis: I bet you want to know if I'm okay with you dating my sister? / Eve: We're in love! / Lil' Sis: My sister the narcissistic alcoholic? / Lil' Sis: Does she even know? / Eve: I'm sure that she's vaguely aware of it.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1218
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Like Peas In A Pod"}} / [[Eve and Lil' Sis are talking]] / Eve: I am the Belle to her Sebastian. The Luke to her Leia. The meth to her trucker. The Paris to her Nicole. The Fry to her Zoidberg. The Gabe to her Tycho. The to her The Trotsky to her Lenin. The homeland to her security. The breaking to her entering. The pubic hair to her forensics investigation. The syphillis to her sailor. / Eve: The Kurt to her Courtney. The Biggie to her Tupac. The Eva to Herr Adolf. The X-10 to her pop-ups. The Buckner to her Garcia. The Sodom to her Gomorrah. The Saddam to her mass graves. / Eve: We go together like two batteries in a vibrator. / Sis: I get the picture.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1219
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"The Selfish Gene"}} / [[Clango and Pale Suzie are walking along]] / Clango: Howdy, hoodie. / Suzie: Hey, Zack! / [[Cut to Goth Zack]] / Zack: Um, "Hello." / Suze: You want to come see a movie with us? / Zack: I need to go home and change the away message on my AOL. / [[Zack exits frame right.]] / Suzie: Why do guys hate me when they find out I have a boyfriend? / Clango: Genetic imperative?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1220
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Mammary Leak"}} / [[Clango and Pale Suzie are talking]] / Clango: Suzie, the way the visible end of the electromagnetic spectrum reflects off your cranial protein strands- / Clango: -It- / [[The fire on Suzie's shirt begins to dim]] / Clango: -It- / Clango: -It- / Suzie: It overruns the memory buffer in your positronic responsometer? / Clango: And you understand my quirks. / Suzie: Everyone's code has a few bugs.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1221
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"The Permafrost Elite"}} / [[Charles and Indie Rock Pete are talking]] / Pete: Justify Canada's existence to me. / Charles: Living the ignorant life today? / Pete: I'm ridin' the lightning of arrogance. / Charles: Imagine America is Van Halen. Canada would then be The Arcade Fire. / Charles: If America is a cassette tape, Canada is a vinyl record. / Charles: Canada is kind of like America, just with a better spam filter. / Pete: Dude, I can't AFFORD to enter any nation that makes it harder to enlarge my penis.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1222
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Nubian Newbie"}} / [[Charles and Indie Rock Pete are talking]] / Charles: "Do I feel more black pride or Canadian pride?" / Charles: What possesses you to ASK such a stupid question? / Pete: It's a valid query. / Charles: Valid today only and not to be combined with any other offer. / Charles: ... / Pete: Curiosity is the first step to understanding. / Charles: I feel differently about it, depending on the day. / Charles: Some days I want to be excellent, some days I want to be AWESOME.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1223
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"I'm Sorry But Your Call Cannot Be Completed As Dialed"}} / [[Eve and Red Robot are talking]] / Eve: Ain't love grand? / Red Robot: CURRENT MOOD: RAGING AGAINST NON-MACHINES. / Eve: Do you mind if I talk about my new girlfriend? / Red Robot: AUTORESPONSE: USER IS EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE. / Eve: You're still mad that I dumped you? / Red Robot: A FATAL EXCEPTION ERROR HAS OCCURRED. PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE. / Eve: I'm so glad we're still such close friends!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1224
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Lil' Sis: Indie Rock Pete, are you reading british newspapers again? / Indie Rock Pete: I gotta stay ahead of the average slob. / Indie Rock Pete: Everything in the U.S.A. happened in England first and with more class. / Lil' Sis: Yeah, like imperialism. / Indie Rock Pete: Some things never go out of style.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1225
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Appetite For Justification"}} / [[Clango and Maura, drunk & beer in hand, are talking]] / Clango: I get angry when I see someone wasting their life. / Maura: I get angry when I can't get a good, stiff drink. / [[Indie Rock Pete and Lil' Sis are talking]] / Pete: I get mad when people ignore me. / Sis: I hate it when people won't level me the hell alone for a minute! / [[Pale Suzie and Metal Steve are talking]] / Suzie: Everything is annoying before I've had my coffee. / Steve: I'm pretty pissed that I can't seem to poop today. / [[Red Robot is facing down John Stamos and Roger the Cat]] / Red Robot: I DO NOT NEED AN EXCUSE TO BE ANGRY. / John Stamos: Hiss! / Roger: ?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1226
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Either Love Is In The Air, Or I Left My Calzone Out Too Long"}} / [[Lil' Sis and Metal Steve are talking]] / Sis: I smell change in the air. / Steve: Sorry. / Sis: Are you having another ethical dilemma? / Steve: Maybe. / Steve: That or I caught lactose intolerance from a toilet seat. / Sis: What did I TELL you about slutty udders? / Steve: That was a joke. / Sis: When I have impure thoughts about a lady, I get hella gassy. / Sis: Then I'll take your farts as a compliment. / Steve: Very few girls can do that.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1227
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Camouflaged Logic"}} / [[Lil' Sis and Metal Steve are talking]] / Sis: You want to join the army? / Steve: I think it makes sense. / Steve: If I'm not allowed to be around women, they won't be as tempting. / Sis: You'll still be miserable. / Steve: Miserable but in great shape! / Sis: You know you'd have to get a haircut, right? / Steve: ! / Steve: But what about the party I have around back? / Steve: My guests need drinks!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1228
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Dueling Banjobs"}} / [[Lil' Sis and Metal Steve are talking]] / Steve: It's a difficult job for minimal pay AND there's a dress code? Sheesh. / Sis: That's the workplace, dude. / Steve: I miss the dot-com days. / Sis: You mean you MISSED the dot-com days. You were in middle school. / Steve: Yeah, well...at least I hit puberty BEFORE I got my first porno spam!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1229
 

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