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| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Autobot Autobiography"}} / [[Dream sequence between Clango and Maura]] / Clango: Curse you, foul woman! Begone from my life! / Clango: I am striking a blow for freedom. / Clango: The freedom for a man to kiss a lady and not taste some other dude! / [[Cut to Clango talking with Charles]] / Clango: That's what I WISH I'd said to her.
/ Charles: I didn't even know you two broke up. / Clango: I made a mini-comic about how sad I was.
/ Charles: Can I read it? / Clango: Sure, it's only two bucks! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1260 |
| Diesel Sweeties 1261: "All Beef Menace" | [[Dark thinking cloud with skull over Indie Rock Pete's head]]
/ Metal Steve: You look like ass on crap, man. / Indie Rock Pete: I fell of the wagon again
/ Metal Steve: Weird, I didn't think you drank. / Indie Rock Pete: I don't. I fell off the vegetable cart and onto the meat wagon. / Indie Rock Pete: What I thought was a family cookout was actually a clever ambush. / Indie Rock Pete: My uncle was gonna report me to Homeland Security if I put my tofu dog on his grill. / Indie Rock Pete: A grill that is bigger and more expensive than my car!
/ Metal Steve: U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
/ {{Comic title: All Beef Menace}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1261 |
| diesel sweeties 1262: My Meaty Extrusion | Indie Rock Pete: I am doomed.
/ Metal Steve: One Hot Dog won't kill you, dude. / Indie Rock Pete: What if it's sharpened into a point? / Indie Rock Pete: It could clog and puncture my heart at the same time! / Metal Steve: You're paranoid. / Metal Steve: All the troubles in the world today and you're worried about being shanked by a weiner? / Indie Rock Pete: My god, the've already gotten to you! / {{comic title: My Meaty Extrusion}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1262 |
| diesel sweeties 1263: Sol Is A Bad Friend | [[Clango smiles, Eve looks disgruntled. Sun above Clango, smiling cloud above Eve]] / Clango: I love these gorgeous summer days. / Clango: I wish there was air in space so I could yell up and thank the sun personally. / Eve: The sun doesn't care about you. / Eve: The sun is just a nuclear weapon that hasn't finished killing us yet. / [[Sky is dark. Clango looks sad, Eve smiles.]] / {{comic title: Sol Is A Bad friend}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1263 |
| diesel sweeties 1264: Comrade Yaoi | Clango: What's with all the grumpin' and grousin', comrade? / Clango: Did the glorious promise of communism fail due to the selfish nature of mankind?
/ Eve: As if. / Eve: I thought Maura loved me but she dropped me like the Berlin Wall. / Clango: Welcome to the collective, kiddo. / Clango: My only consolation is at least she was drunk when she cheated on me. / [[red background, Clango lying on the ground, big dent in his head, yellow stars and a hammer-and-sicke emanating from it]]
/ Clango: Ow!
/ {{comic title: Comrade Yaoi}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1264 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Red Robot and Maura sit up in bed in a darkened room, Red Robot has draped one arm across Maura's shoulders, Maura looks distressed]]
/ Red Robot: THAT WAS AMAZING!
/ Maura: OW. / [[Red Robot and Maura sit up in bed, Red Robot reaches for the light]]
/ Red Robot: WASN'T I AWESOME?
/ Maura: LIKE KONG HIMSELF. / [[Red Robot and Maura sit up in bed in a darkened room, Maura looks curious]]
/ Maura: HOW WELL DO YOU TAKE CRITICISM? / [[Red Robot and Maura sit up in bed in a darkened room, Maura looks distressed]]
/ Red Robot: PRETTY BADLY.
/ Maura: REMIND ME NOT TO TAKE A PAINTING CLASS WITH YOU. / [[Red Robot and Maura sit up in bed in a darkened room, Maura looks wry]]
/ Red Robot: WHY? / [[Red Robot and Maura sit up in bed in a darkened room, Maura looks wry]]
/ Maura: NOT EVERY STROKE DOES A HAPPY LITTLE TREE MAKE. / {{title text - Insider Art}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1265 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Lil Sis and Eve face off on a blue gray background, Eve has a really bad haircut with a flick ad the front and mullet-esque flick at the nape of the neck, Lil Sis raises one eyebrow]]
/ Lil Sis: EVE?
/ Eve: HI. / [[Lil Sis and Eve face off on a blue gray background]]
/ Lil Sis: YOU LOOK STUP- I MEAN 'DIFFERENT.'
/ Eve: DO YOU LIKE IT? / [[Lil Sis and Eve face off on a blue gray background, Lil Sis and Eve look distressed]]
/ Lil Sis: I BELIEVE THAT {{emphasis}}ALL{{end emphasis}} CHANGE IS ULTIMATELY GOOD.
/ Eve: YOU HATE IT. / [[Lil Sis hugs Eve on a sludgy green background]]
/ Lil Sis: NO, SWEETIE. I HATE THE CRUEL MONSTER WHO {{emphasis}}DID{{end emphasis}} THIS TO YOU.
/ Eve: ! / [[Metal Steve and Maura look on, against a sludgy green background, Metal Steve smirks]]
/ Metal Steve: HEY, IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR SISTER HAS A NEW BOYFRIEND. / [[Metal Steve and Maura look on, Metal Steve makes a moue, Maura grins, against a sludgy green background]]
/ Maura: AND HE'S GOT THE SEXIEST JACK THE RIPPER MUTTON CHOPS {{emphasis}}EVER.{{end emphasis}} / {{title text - barber surgeons}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1266 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Sith or Pimp"}} / [[Red Robot, wearing a black cape, Stands atop a hill, with lightning crashing in the background]] / [[Cut to Indie Rock Pete talking to Red Robot]]
/ Pete: Nice cape, goofball. Are you supposed to be a Sith or a pimp? / Red Robot: I CAN'T BE BOTH? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1267 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Chump Change"}} / [[Metal Steve and Eve, sporting a mullet, make eye contact]] / Eve: Either hit on me or make fun of my haircut, just quit staring. / Steve: You're still a girl, right? / Eve: Egad! You discovered my SECRET. / Eve: I stopped being a girl the MOMENT scissors touched my tresses. / Steve: Did it hurt?
/ Eve: Like the DICKENS. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1268 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Burt Ward's Burn Ward"}} / [[Red Robot and Maura are talking]] / Red Robot: RARRR! KILL! DESTROY! DIE! EVISCERATE! SLAP! SMOOSH! ARGUE! FROWN!
/ Maura: This is getting embarassing. / Red Robot: I THOUGHT YOU LIKED IT WHEN I GET VIOLENT.
/ Maura: Yeah, when it's REAL. / Maura: You're trying too hard and I ain't feelin' it. / Maura: You're like some kind of walking Batman sound effect lately. / Maura: It takes more than POW! BAM! THWOK! to satisfy a grown lady. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1269 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Funnel Cakes"}} / [[A urinal in a bathoom]] / [[Torpor walks up to the urinal]]
/ Torpor: Hello, cousin Frankie! Torpor misses you. / Torpor: You should be Torpor's friend!
/ [[Indie Rock Pete enters from the right]] / Torpor: Frankie?
/ [[Pete faces the urinal]] / Torpor: What are you doing with Torpor's cousin?! / Pete: It's purely physical. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1270 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Toupee Trip"}} / [[Pale Suzie and Nipples the Bear are talking]] / Suzie: I'm bored.
/ Nipples: I have just the thing! / Nipples: We can play dress up and go to a furry convention. / Suzie: Dress up, you say? Tell a lady more! / Nipples: Cosplay is to dress up what Einstein is to NASCAR! / Nipples: Cosplasy is to dress up what Google is to an illiterate hobo. / Suzie: Wow.
/ Nipples: I once yiffed so hard it killed a man. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1271 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Otter Princess"}} / [[Pale Suzie is talking to Nipples the Bear]] / Suzie: You're supposed to be a bear, right? / Nipples: I am not 'supposed to be' a bear, Suzie. / Nipples: I AM a bear. / Nipples: I'm a rare pygmy wizard bear from the kingdom of Upper Nubilia. / Suzie: Wow, cool! What animal can I be? / Suzie: You can be the heroic half-otter, half-koala space princess from Planet Gnome!
/ Suzie: ! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1272 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Fark Raving Mad"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete sitting at his powerbook]] / Pete: Hello internet, you old scamp. / Pete: Expand my mind with informative hyper-links! / Pete: "Urban birds mimic cell phone ringtones, line their nests with free long distance minutes." / Pete: "Dancing scone takes United Kingdom by storm. Royalty ROFLs." / Pete: "Rock band hires good-looking bass player. Loses record contract. / Pete: "Dungeon master loses virginity. Forgets condom, rolls the dice http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1273 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Yiffragette City"}} / [[Clango enters]]
/ Clango: Honey, I am what passes for home! / [[Clango enters another room]]
/ Clango: Suzie? / [[Clango spies a winking bear bag on a countertop]]
/ Clango: Uh oh. A shopping bag from Yiffington's Cosplay Emporium / Clango: And a faux-otter furkini with mystic midriff! / Clango: THIS IS TERRIBLE! / Clango: She knows we can't afford to shop at Yiffington's! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1274 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Coming Up For Air"}} / [[Clango is standing by a counter with a bag from Yiffington's on it]] / Suzie: Clango, is that you? I want to show you something. / [[Suzie enters wearing a bra, helmet, and tail]]
/ Suzie: Surprise! I'm from space! / [[Clango looks shocked]] / Suzie: I'm buying the rest of the costume as soon as I get some more credit cards! / Suzie: The only weakness of a space kitten koala princess is a 23.9% APR. / [[Suzie takes off the helmet and sees Clango's shocked expression]]
/ Suzie: Honey? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1275 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Sex Addicts of the Carribbean"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete and Eve, sporting a mullet, are talking]] / Pete: Did I see you out at Blotto Grotta last night?
/ Eve: Aya, 'twas I. / Eve: 'G Marks The Spot' is TOTALLY my favorite pirate rock band. / Eve: Do you like them too? / Pete: Nah, I just like to drink overpriced rum drinks with jerks. / Eve: No booty last night? / Pete: Not even a chest. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1276 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Bone Suckin' Sauce"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete and Eve, sporting a mullet, are talking]] / Eve: Do you have a girlfriend? / Pete: With MY personality, I'm lucky to have a Suicide Girls account. / Eve: Do you even WANT a girlfriend? / Pete: Does a chicken want barbecue sauce? / Eve: Yes, if she's delicious? / Pete: No, because it means I'm dead! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1277 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Onanism The Barbarianism"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete and Eve, sporting a mullet, are talking]] / Eve: I pity you, Indie Rock Pete. / Pete: You can SAVE your pity for someone less critically acclaimed. / Eve: How can you expect to ever be happy if you're always alone? / Pete: Who says I want to be happy?
/ Eve: Doesn't everyone? / Pete: Not me. The whole tortured artist schtick rocks. / Pete: Falling in love is like selling out and not getting paid. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1278 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Anti-Clam-Arctic"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete and Eve, sporting a mullet, are talking]] / Pete: Being cool is a lot more difficult than most people think. / Eve: I'm sure. / Pete: It totally cuts you off from other people. / Pete: You're not really allowed to be friends with losers anymore. / Eve: Sounds like a plan.
/ [[Eve exits, frame right]] / [[Cut to Pete in a desert, sweat-drenched]]
/ Pete: HEY! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1279 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Clango dreams of electric sheep]] / [[Clango wakes up]]
/ Clango: sUZIE, I'M FEELING LAZY. CANY YOU MAKE SOME COFFEE? / [[Pale Suzie, dressed as the Princess of Time & Space, stands in the kitchen]]
/ Pale Suzie: AHEM. / Clango: SORRY. / Clango: DEAREST PRINCESS OF TIME & SPACE, MAY I SUP UPON THY AMBROSIA? / Pale Suzie: PRINCESS CELESTIA DRINKS ONLY TEA! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1280 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"All Trussed Up And Nowhere To Go"}} / [[Clango and Pale Suzie, in her Elfin Cat Princess costume, are chatting]] / Suzie: ClannNNGO, do you like my costume? / Clango: Um, it's really creative.
/ Suzie: You ought to dress up WITH me. / Suzie: We elfin cat princesses in heat can ALWAYS use a knight in sexy armor. / [[Clango grimaces, and Suzie "says" a cat-bubble that purrs]] / Clango: I'm not sure I can joust in that tournament, babe. / Clango: Why put on a costume just to take it off? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1281 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"People Change (Sometimes Into Animals)"}} / [[Clango and Pale Suzie, in her elfin cat princess outfit, are talking]] / Suzie: You're really against my trans-fur-mation, aren't you? / Clango: I'm not really sure what that means? / Suzie: It means you don't think I am a sexy cat elf. / Suzie: And that really hurts. / Clango: I just think you're sexier as a lady than when you're pretending to be an animal.
/ Suzie: ! / [[Suzie's ears droop as she looks at Clango sadly]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1282 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"The Numbers Don't Lie Without Help"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete and Maura are talking]] / Pete: Hey Maura-You're the oldest person I know who still has sex... / [[Maura gives Pete a chilly glare, which freezes Pete in a block of ice]] / Maura: Thank you for the ENLIGHTENING stats, Pie Chart Pete. / Pete: I was actually trying to butter you up so I could ask a questoin. / Pete: Statistics were about the only thing I was good at in school. / Pete: I've got a real knack for making things seem sucker than they really are. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1283 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Pete: Did you ever go to a high school reunion? I have one coming up. / Pete: I want to see how lame everyone else turned out, but school still gives me the willies. / Pete: I feel like an ex-con going to meet his prison 'wife' for an iced frappuccino. / Maura: You've got baggage, Pete. / Pete: Yeah, I've got some baggage.
/ Pete: But at least MY baggage has WHEELS. / [[Maura points at Pete with a bottle in her hand]]
/ Maura: Whatever, dude. I'll GET my license back eventually. / {{title text: Prison Is Where I Learned To Read}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1284 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Cold Filtered Romulan Ale"}} / [[Metal Steve, holding a grocery bag, is talking with Kevin]] / Steve: Dude! Guess who's got a 30-pack of Bud Light and some Star Trek videos?! / [[Steve "says" a metal horn-hand, and Kevin "says" a live-long-and-prosper-hand, both against a starry background]] / Steve: We should have a beer every time Wesley Crusher saves the day. / Kevin: And do a shot any time Geordi reverse the polarity on something! / Steve: I am SO going to make that so.
/ Kevin: Computer! Cheap beer, cold! / [[Cut to Indie Rock Pete]]
/ Pete: I used to think I was missing out by not having a best friend. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1285 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"A Memorable Site (sic)"}} / [[Metal Steve and Kevin are talking]] / Steve: How long have I known you, Kevin?
/ Kevin: Since before we had pubes. / Steve: I almost can't believe it. How'd you find me after all these years? / Kevin: I know! I was surfin' my favorite porn sites when...BLAMMO! / Kevin: It hit me like a bolt out of the blue. / Kevin: I said to myself, 'I know that penis from high school gym class!' / Kevin: That wang really brought me back. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1286 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title: Broken Hearts Are For Assholes}} / Clango: http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1287 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"Even Jerks Can Be Nice"}} / [[Clango and Maura are talking]] / Clango: Aw, shucks. I didn't mean to make you think I got married. / Clango: That was just a figure of speech. / Clango: Like when you used to call my penis 'the best thing since sliced beer.' / Clango: I still flinch whenever I think of that.
/ Maura: Do you miss me ever? / Clango: Sometimes, a little.
/ [[Red Robot enters from right]]
/ Red Robot: UNINSTALLING ANGER MANAGEMENT SOFTWARE. ENABLING JEALOUSY SUBROUTINES. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1288 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{"It's Alway Greener on the Other Side of Your Ex"}} / [[Clango is talking to Maura, Red Robot is at frame right]] / Clango: Great, here comes the vagina nazi.
/ Maura: Shush. He's kind of new at "girls".
/ Red Robot: DISENGAGE ALL WEAPONS SYSTEMS AND STEP AWAY FROM THE LADY. SHE IS WITH ME. / [[Clango talking with Red Robot]]
/ Clango: We're just talking, Red Robot. Nothing to worry about. / [[Red Robot squints menacingly at Clango]] / Clango: I'm not allowed to be nice?
/ Red Robot: BOYS ARE NEVER NICE WITHOUT A REASON. / Clango: What-ever.
/ Red Robot: TALK TO THE GRIPPING APPENDAGE. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1289 |
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