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diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Indie Rock Pete and Lil' Sis in gallery with rapper portraits]] / Indie Rock Pete: Yes, it's notorious. But is it art? / Indie Rock Pete: I just don't get it. / Lil' Sis: I'm not sure your opinion matters much on this one. / Indie Rock Pete: Rapping is just talking over beats. / Lil' Sis: Bah! / Lil' Sis: Rapping is more than talking / Lil' Sis: Rapping is talking dangerously. / Indie Rock Pete: All the bling nonsense just turns me off. / Lil' Sis: Whatever. / Lil' Sis: Rock bands license their old songs for car commercials. / Lil' Sis: Rappers are the car commercials. / Indie Rock Pete: Biggie was a sell-out. / Lil' Sis: At least he got the ultimate price.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1320
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Seeing The Light At THe End of The Doors"}} / [[Indie Rock Pete and Lil' Sis are chatting - Pete is sporting a bear]] / Sis: Why are people so attracted to dead rock stars? / Pete: Mediocrity plus death equals genius. / Pete: People like dead musicians because they never change. / Pete: So much for creative growth. / Sis: "Growth" doesn't sell records. / Sis: Familiarity and marketability sell records. / [[Pete and Sis take on a corpse-like pallor]] / Pete: Nothing rocks like nostalgia / Sis: Nothing rots harder than a corpse.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1321
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Career Day in the Mesozoic"}} / [[Maura and Metal Steve are talking]] / Maura: What did you want to be when you grew up? / Steve: A dinosaur! / Maura: Right. Of course. / Steve: Rarr! / Steve: Preferably a career dinosaur like a triceratops. / Steve: Velociraptors are cool and all, but I think they lack staying power. / Maura: I wanted to be an astronaut. / Steve: How'd you wind up in porn? / Maura: Friction at home.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1322
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Now I'll Never Dance With Another Since I Soyuz Standing There. / [[Enter Maura and Metal Steve.]] / Maura: All I used to read & think about as a kid was outer space and masturbating. / Maura: And that led me to a very weird epiphany... / Maura: Friction is probably the most important thing in life. / Maura: A little bit is wonderful but too much can kill. / Metal Steve: Kind of like alcohol? / Maura: Exactly like alcohol. / Maura: Speaking of, no nation ever mastered both booze and friction like the Soviet Union. / Maura: With my love of both math and vodka, I could have been an amazing cosmonaut. / Maura: Stupid Berlin wall. I coulda had a drink with Sputnik. / [[Exit Maura and Steve. Enter Sputnik satellite in orbit, several thousand miles above the earth's surface.]] / Sputnik: So...lonely.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1323
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{Title: "Traveling Across The Icontinence"}} / Nipples The Bear: HOWDY, BALDY. / Lil' Sis: WHAT UP, NIPPLES? / Nipples: KEEPIN' IT SO REAL, THE HOLO-DECK IS POUTING. / Nipples: WANNA COME WITH ME ON AN ERRAND? / Nipples: I HAVE TO TRAVEL FOR BUSINESS AND I'M FRESH OUT OF DIAPERS. / Lil' Sis: YOU HAD A KID? / [[Nipples makes a frowny face.]] / Lil' Sis: OH. THAT KIND OF 'BUSINESS'.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1324
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Nipples: Want to hear about my poop? / Lil' Sis: Nope. / Nipples: Sadly, we cannot alter our fates. / Lil' Sis: Alas. / Nipples: Poop's not gross if you just think of it as a giant, fast-growing hair. / Nipples: It's possibly the biggest hair on the human body! / Lil' Sis: That almost makes sense. / Nipples: Wanna see my pigtails? / Lil' Sis: Perhaps via satellite.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1325
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"The Percentages Always Favor The House"}} / [[Maura and Metal Steve are talking]] / Maura: If I got 100% of my ideas done, I would change the world. / Maura: If I did something with 99% of my ideas, I would be amazing. / Maura: If I worked on half my ideas, I'd be a totally fulfilled human being. / Maura: If I even tried to use a quarter of my ideas, I'd be improving every day. / Maura: Even if I only acted on one percent of my ideas, my life would be noticeably better. / Maura: But instead I sit here & calculate percentages. / Steve: At leas you do all the math in your head.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1326
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title: Nipple Scripture}} / Metal Steve: Maura, you really should DO something with your life. / Maura: Does drinking count? / Steve: 9 out of 10 leading gurus say "no". / Steve: Don't hide your light under a bushel. / Maura: Huh? / Steve: Don't cover perfect natural breasts with a padded bra. / Maura: Why didn't you just say what you meant the first time?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1327
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"Bustin' Makes Me Feel Good (In Bed)"}} / [[Maura and Clango are talking]] / Maura: "Do something with your life," he tells me. / Maura: I made porno for six years! / Maura: You'd think that would be more than enough 'doing' for one lifetime. / Maura: Sigh. / Clango: Maybe you could volunteer and help people. / Maura: Yeah! I could bust ghosts pro bono! / Clango: Exactly! There's no one homeless or on death row who might need your help.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1328
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{"I Rue The Day I Regretted My Regression"}} / [[Maura and Clango are talking]] / Maura: Listen, Clango- I do not want your advice. / Maura: You are a toaster with a boner. / Clango: So that's how it is? / Clango: Back when we were dating, I was a boner with a toaster. / Maura: Things change. / Clango: That or flaws just become more apparent. / Clango: Fine, don't listen to me. I brought an expert. / [[Billy Brainjar enters frame left, carrying a pie]] / Billy: I would have baked you a pie of love, but all I had in the house was regret.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1329
 
In The Kitchen With Billy Brainjar [[Maura and Billy Brainjar, talking. Billy Brainjar is holding a pie.]] / Maura: That's a nice pie. / Billy Brainjar: I baked it on my very own thermocoupler. / Maura: You can bake? / Billy Brainjar: I find that it helps keep me grounded. / Maura: Do you like pie? / Billy Brainjar: I used to. / Maura: Sorry. / Maura: Umm... So, what happened to you, anyway? / Billy Brainjar: You ever play "I've got your nose" as a kid? / Maura: Yeah. / Billy Brainjar: That shit can get out of hand.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1330
Like A Candle Breaking Wind [[Maura talking to Billy Brainjar]] / Maura: Anyway. / Billy Brainjar: Anyway. / [[Nipples and Clango looking on, talking to eachother]] / Nipples: Wow, look at that akwardness! / Clango: Truly painful. / Nipples: When it comes to making folks feel uncomfortable, nobody holds a candle to a brain in a pickle jar. / Nipples: I dress like a bear for sexual reasons & even I can't creep people out like THAT. / Clango: Are you jealous? / Nipples: Does a go-bot wish he was a transformer? / Clango: Amen, bro.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1331
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title: Feminism and Mister Cyclotron}} / Nipples the Bear: Clango, can I ask you a question? / Clango: I'll save you the trouble. / Clango: Yes, I like girls. / Nipples: I know that, silly! Can I borrow your girlfriend? It's just for one night. / Clango: So ask HER! She may wear cat-ears, but she's not my pet. / Nipples: Thanks, man! I need a date for a squat-luck dinner. / Clango: Do I want to know what that is? / Nipples: That depends. How open-minded are you? / [[Pale Susie's kitchen, Susie is in kitty-outfit with a crown]] / Susie: Clango, why are you in the fetal position? / [[voice coming from floor]] / Clango: My ears don't have "undo".
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1332
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{ "Coding Some Serious Mouse-Overs" }} / [[Clango and Pale Suzie are chatting - Pale Suzie is wearing her "furry" kitty-space-queen costume]] / Clango: What's a 'squat luck' dinner? / Suzie: It's the most fun a furry can have! / Clango: Is that like wife-swapping for the bunny tail set? / Clango: I'm sorry that I don't have enough musk glands to satisfy you. / Clango: I won't come between you and true happiness. / [[Edges out frame left]] / [[Suzie alone, ears dejectedly downwards]] / Suzie: Come back! 'Squatting' isn't slang for sex-it's slang for poop! / [[Clango returns]] / Clango: Poop? Really? Yay! So, what is a 'squat luck,' anyway? / Suzie: Everyone brings an owl pellet and we go bobbing for mouse skeletons! / Suzie: It's mostly bones, rarely boners.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1333
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title text: INCISOR? I NEVER TOUCHED HER!}} / Pale Suzie: WOULD YOU EVER GIVE UP SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO YOU FOR LOVE? / Lil' Sis: I QUIT SCHOOL ONCE TO BE WITH A GUY. / Lil' Sis: HE WAS ALL, "BABY I'VE GOT PERFECT TEETH- WHY DO YOU NEED TO STUDY DENTISTRY?" / Lil' Sis: I CAUGHT HIM WITH MY SISTER ABOUT TWO WEEKS LATER. / Lil' Sis: I RIPPED OUT ALL HIS MOLARS BEFORE THE COPS COULD PULL ME OFF HIM. / Pale Suzie: WAS IT WORTH IT? / Lil' Sis: I WASN'T CHARGED AS AN ADULT.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1334
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[ Pale Suzie and Lil' Sis are chatting]] / Suzie: I'm gonna quit being a furry. No more sex in kitten suits for me. / Suzie: I think it's upsetting my boyfriend. / Sis: The nerve of that tin-plated tyrant, how dare he! / Sis: That's the only remotely interesting thing about you! / Suzie: Thanks. / Suzie: Kind of like the only remotely nice thing about you is your ass. / [[Suzie walks out - Sis' line spans the next three panels]] / Sis: People say they value honesty. / Sis: Of course people say a lot of things they don't really mean. / Sis: "I love you" being one of the enduring classics of the genre.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1335
Tithe Me Baby, One More Time. [[Red Robot talking to Indie Rock Pete, grey background]] / Red Robot: Join my religion or else. / Indie Rock Pete: Or else what? / [[background changes to rust orange; Indie Rock Pete looks unhappy]] / Red Robot: Join my religion or else I will kill you in the name of my god. / [[background is grey again; Indie Rock Pete grins]] / Indie Rock Pete: Ooh! Is there singing? / Red Robot: Nope, but there's wailing and hella grinding of teeth. / Indie Rock Pete: Sign me up! I knew something was missing from my life. / Red Robot: Make checks payable to the United Church of Atomic Space Kraken. / [[last panel is on a new row; spans entire comic. a large tentacle reaches across a starry background towards the Earth; Indie Rock Pete is invisible but his speach bubble comes from Earth]] / Indie Rock Pete: Is that 'Kraken' spelled with a 'C' or a 'K'?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1336
Pirates of the Caribbean Metal Steve: Avast! / Electron Mike: w00t! / Metal Steve: Prepare to be keel-hauled, ye bilge rat! / Clango: Pirate talk versus leet speak. / Lil' Sis: A rivalry as old as lag time. / Electron Mike: 1337 h4x0rz pwn j00! / Metal Steve: Hark! 'tis the devil's own wicked tongue! / Electron Mike: n00b / Clango: It's like Esperanto met Adhd and they adopted a greyhound. / Metal Steve: Craven freebooter! Speak plainly or taste cold steel! / Electron Mike: U R not l337 d00d!!1 / Lil' Sis: Nothing says "Internet" like making it harder for people to understand you. / Metal Steve: You scurvy son of a three-teated dog. / Metal Steve: I'll lash ye to me mizzenmast! / Electron Mike: LOL U <3 wang. / Clango: The 19th century sure don't like the 21st much. / Lil' Sis: I hate them both.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1337
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Maura: Break up cards? / Misc counter jockey: Aisle six near gerbil birthdays / Maura: "you're nice but diseases aren't" / Maura: "It was fun to sleep with you but not good enough to put up with you" / Maura: "i'm afraid of commitment (with a loser)" / Maura: "lets pretend... that we never met!" / Electron Mike: "i was drunk and you're boring?"
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1338
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title: If A Man Sleeps With A Lady Who Doesn't Like Him, Does She Make A Sound?}} / Maura: YAY! I finally dumped Mike. / Metal Steve: Huh? / Steve: I had no idea you two were even dating. / Maura: How could you NOT know? I complained about him all the time! / Steve: You did? / Maura: Well, I THOUGHT about it a lot. / Maura: I guess I just never mentioned it aloud because I was ashamed to be seen with him. / Maura: Anyway, it's over. / Steve: And the world will never be the same again.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1339
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title text: WHO CAN FATHOM THE ONE-HANDED MIND?}} / Clango: Electron Mike, you look like the lonliest puppy in puppytown. / Clango: Did some mean kitty scratch your iPod? / Electron Mike: Maura dumped me. / Clango: Sorry / Clango: Maybe you can use the time alone to better yourself? / Electron Mike: I'll have to! It's not like any other women will make out with me. / Clango: Umm. I didn't mean it like that. / Clango: I meant maybe reading a book or learning to knit your own socks. / Electron Mike: Heh, 'knit' my own 'socks.' Wink, wink. / Clango: Not everything is a euphemism for masturbation. / Electron Mike: It is when you're alone.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1340
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title: Favoritism}} / Electron Mike: Am I too young to have a list of people I don't want at my funeral? / Lil' Sis: Who said that you were still young? / [[Lil' Sis walks away]] / {{title: Fatalism}} / Mike: Come back here! I wasn't done boring you! / Red Robot: Did someone say 'funeral'? / Mike: Any excuse for a party, I guess. / {{title: Fascism}} / Red Robot: I had a party once. / Mike: That's nice. / Red Robot: We almost got a toaster elected to Congress. / Mike: So? I don't vote. / Red Robot: It's your funeral. / Mike: I've taken the liberty of preparing a guest list.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1341
If These Glands Could Talk, What A Story They Would Tell [[Clango is facing Suzie. Suzie is naked (visible from the waist up). Her breasts are pixellated out.]] / Clango: SUZIE! WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES AT?! / Clango: IT'S SWEATER WEATHER AND YOU'VE GOT A SEVERE NIPPLE ADVISORY. / Suzie: I GAVE THEM UP FOR YOU. / [[Clango looks confused.]] / Clango: IS THERE A WORD FOR BEING BOTH FLATTERED AND PERPLEXED? / Suzie: "AROUSED"?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1342
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Pale Suzie and Clango are mutually naked and in bed together, on the wall is a picture of a skull, suggesting they are at Pale Suzie's place. Both are smiling.]] / [[Pale Suzie and Clango both look happy and have lil thought bubble hearts over their heads]] / Pale Suzie: Mrow. / Clango: Purr. / Clango: Girls are my favorite animals. / Clango: I'm glad you stopped dressing like a cat. / Pale Suzie: Me too! Showering takes MUCH less time than self-licking. / Pale Suzie: [[in a serious manner]] It doesn't get me as clean, though. / [[Clango is listening intently]] / Pale Suzie: Call me old-fashioned, but-SOAP? Get real! / Pale Suzie: Soap has too many moving parts. / Pale Suzie: I don't trust anything I can't fix by hand. / Clango: Do you trust my cat? / [[Pale Suzie raises an eyebrow]] / Roger the Cat: Mew?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1343
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{Title: Ten Tickles, One For Each Appendage}} / [[Indie Rock Pete is dressed as a squid]] / Lil' Sis: Yay! The Pope came out of the closet! / Pete: Shut your yap, you ichthyologally-illiterate ignoramus. / Lil' Sis: Yes, your Holiness. / Pete: I'm NOT the Pope! / Lil' Sis: Are you a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater? / Pete: [[large letters, obscuring Lil' Sis's bubble]] NO. / Lil' Sis: Are you a stylized phallus? / Pete: Not on purpose! / Lil' Sis: All-seeing Sauron in a wild cherry flavored condom? / Lil' Sis: A Magic Eight Ball Sharpie marker? / Pete: Leave me alone! / Lil' Sis: Wait, is it Halloween already? / Pete: I am going to go sit under some water and try not to breathe.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1344
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic You! The corporate mascot trying to look dangerous. / Huh? / Heed my words and attend to my demands or you will feel the wrath of my bowels. / Can't you just say "Trick or treat" like a normal person? / Do I look like a normal person? / Kind of. Just a tad shinier. / I am no mere mortal speck. I am your god. / Your god has ingested four quarts of gin. / Spin me a web latrine or suffer consequences.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1345
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[ Charles is in a storm trooper uniform. Nipples the bear has stolen his helmet ]] / Charles: Give me back my helmet / Nipples: Why don't you climb in here and take it, cutie? / Charles: I'm worried you might kiss me. / Nipples: I sense much fear in you. / Charles: Give it back or else! / Nipples: Or else what? / Charles: Or else I'll tell the Emperor! / [[ King of All Cosmos from Katamari Damacy in a completely different setting]] / King of All Cosmos: Woo, tangent! / {{another group of panels}} / [[someone made of tetris blocks]] / Tetris: I am incomplete without you / [[Maura is against a White Stripes album cover in the background]]
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1346
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[girls looking quite tired and worn out]] / Susie: Hooray! We look like hell this morning! Halloween is Hallo-WORTH it. / Little Sis: I mostly just like men in masks. Truly, they are the uglier aspect of our species. How'd YOUR mattress tricks and pillow treats work out? I hope he gave you the full-sized candy bar for once. / Susie: I stayed up all night listening to Art Bell! / Little Sis: Is that a euphemism for sex?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1347
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic: Invisible, penetrating waves of energy [[Pale Suzie and Lil' Sis. Lil' Sis looks like hell. Frazzled hair, lines under her eyes, and what looks like a vampire bite on her neck.]] / Lil' Sis: YOU'RE A YOUNG, BEAUTIFUL WICCAN GIRL WITH MORE LEATHER THAN WEST TEXAS. / Pale Suzie: SPOOKY AS CHARGED, YOUR HONOR! / Lil' Sis: WHY'D YOU SPEND THE BIGGEST GOTH PARTY NIGHT OF THE YEAR LISTENING TO A.M. RADIO ALONE? {{"ALONE" is in red.}} / Pale Suzie: THERE'S NOTHING QUITE LIKE BEING ALONE IN THE DARK, LISTENING TO SCARY STORIES. / Pale Suzie: IT'S PART OF THE BASIC HUMAN EXPERIENCE. / Lil' Sis: LAME. / Pale Suzie: EVERYBODY GHOSTURBATES. I'M JUST NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1348
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title: peer reviewed sarcasm}} / Pale Susie: Ooh! Imported Canadian beef. / Lil' Sis: I'm sticky but I don't THINK it's maple. / [[Charles raises an eyebrow]] / Lil' Sis: Whatcha up to, Charles? / Charles: Wishing I wore my cloak of invisibility. / Lil' Sis: Wanna go out for drinks and pie? [[emphasised text]] I'll be the pie. / Charles: Umm... no, but thank you for asking? / Charles: How about I comment on your blog instead? / Lil' Sis: I only have Friendster, will that work? / Charles: You're trying to bone a programmer and you ADMIT to using Friendster? / Charles: I'm not sure if I should edit my wiki article for 'adorable' or 'naive.'
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1349
 

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