You're browsing the archives of diesel sweeties.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic: Malcolm X 10.4 Tiger | Red Robot #C-63: WORDS ARE POWERFUL.
/ Clango: SO ARE ALTOIDS. / Red Robot #C-63: THE WORDS WE LET PEOPLE USE TO CALL US ARE IMPORTANT. / Red Robot #C-63: FOR THIS REASON I AM NO LONGER A "ROBOT". / Red Robot #C-63: THAT WORD IMPLIES SERVITUDE AND A LACK OF FREE WILL. / Red Robot #C-63: I AM NOT A "MECHANICAL MAN". / Red Robot #C-63: I MAY BE A MACHINE BUT I HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE A "MAN." / Clango: WHAT ARE YOU THEN? / Red Robot #C-63: I AM A FORCE MORE POWERFUL THAN HU-MAN VOCABULARY. / Clango: YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW. {{"KNOW" is in red.}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1350 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Ooh! I've got a great new name for you, Red. / It better be scarier than the bathroom at a hardcore show. / (USB symbol) / "The artist formerly known as USB." / Who the heck is that supposed to terrify? / Old people? They hate computers.
/ Bah! Cliches only scare joke writers. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1351 |
| Laika, quadrupedal conqueror of the cosmos | Suzie: Do you believe in aliens?
/ Li'l Sis: Do I look like an idiot? / Li'l Sis: Of course I believe in aliens! / Li'l Sis: Not believing in aliens means thinking humanity is special. / Li'l Sis: I've met humanity. I've worked retail. / Li'l Sis: Humanity is a jack-ass. Therefore, life on earth cannot be unique. / Red Robot: If I loved, it would be her. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1352 |
| .08 Blood Fantasy Level | Pale Suzie; Can I ask a stupid question?
/ Clango; There are no stupid questions. / Pale Suzie; If the Borg assimilated Santa's eleves, would they be able to build space ships faster? / Clango; Honey, did you drive here in this condition? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1353 |
| Forty Days In The Desert With Good Ol' Satan | Pale Suzie; Who would win in a fight, space aliens or God? / Clango; Vengeful God or Forgiving God? / Pale Suzie; Probably the pre-crisis, old testament, wrathful God. / Pale Suzie; I don't really think the forgiving one would fight. / Clango; Guess it would depend how evil the aliens are. / Pale Suzie; Evil or just different?
/ Clango; How open minded. / Pale Suzie; Whoa! I just had a mind-blowing idea.
/ Clango; Sweet. Blow me! / Pale Suzie; What if God was a space alien? / Clango; Buddha the Hutt! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1354 |
| You Have The Right To Remain In Denial | Indie Rock Pete; I have very specific rules for choosing the girls I will date. / Metal Steve; You can afford to have standards? That's inspiring!
/ Lil' Sis; They can't be terribly high standards if he never dated me. / Indie Rock Pete; Whatever. I'd have to be terribly high to date you.
/ Lil' Sis; Oh, burrn! Literally. / Indie Rock Pete; Oh, how I hate her.
/ Metal Steve: Suuure. I've got a mullet, but I'm not stupid. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1355 |
| SWM, 22 Seeks Compatible DRM-Free 48X CD-RW | [[Indie Rock Pete and Metal Steve are standing around talking.]] / Indie Rock Pete; I'd never date a girl with a haircut more intense than my own. / Indie Rock Pete; I'd never date a girl who was smarter or prettier than me. / Indie Rock Pete; I'd never date a girl who was better at rocking out than me. / Indie Rock Pete; I'd never date a girl who had more online buddies than me. / Indie Rock Pete; I'd never date a girl who had less online buddies than...
/ Metal Steve; I get the picture! / Metal Steve; Did you ever think your standards might be too high? / Metal Steve; You'll never find true love unless you are more realistic. / Indie Rock Pete; I'm an elitist. I date girls the same way I buy records.
/ Metal Steve; Second-hand? / Indie Rock Pete; I'd rather burn a copy off of a friend than spend money on one I might not like. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1356 |
| A Cowboy On The Decline Of Western Civilization | Indie Rock Pete; So I said to her... / Indie Rock Pete; Welcome to flavor country, population: bad taste in my mouth." / Metal Steve; Am I getting smarter lately or are you just getting dumber? / Indie Rock Pete; Don't mind me, I'm quitting smoking. / Metal Steve; So you're dumber for trying to act smarter? / Indie Rock Pete; Ironic, huh?
/ Metal Steve; Not really. / Metal Steve; You realize not smoking is the more socially accepable, mainstream thing to do... right? / Indie Rock Pete; I know. The irony is killing me! / Metal Steve; Not really. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1357 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | You believe in fairies, unicorns, and elves - / Don't oversimplify my belief system. / I only think that orcs, kobolds, and dragons are real. / You believe in dragons, but you don't believe I can quit smoking. / I prefer to believe that which I can see with my own eyes. / You've seen dragons?
/ More than I've seen recovered smokers. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1358 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | All the Cool Kids are Anemic / Did you hear the one about the suicide bomber who stepped on a land mine? / Oh the irony! / Clango, what is "irony"?
/ Irony is like lying, except you also fool yourself. / I don't get it. / Calling something ironic is how people get away with stuff they know is wrong. / That way they can laugh off bad taste or lousy manners and look cool doing it. / Torpor still does not understand. / You know how some people eat salads just for the dressing? / That's irony. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1359 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Rock Pete and Maura talk]]
/ Pete: Broccoli madness! / Pete: Chronic hamburger deficiency! / Pete: Grape-nut butt. / Pete: Banana overdose. / Pete: Sausage scurvy! / Pete: "The Dribbles." / Pete: Hot dog envy. / Pete: Those are all the made up diseases I am NOT suffering from just because I stopped eating meat. / Maura: You left out "defensiveness." http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1360 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Rock Pete and Lil' Sis talk]]
/ Pete: I quit eating meat again yesterday.
/ Lil' Sis: Well, bully for you! / Pete: Is that sarcasm?
/ Lil' Sis: You might say that. / Lil' Sis: No one really says "bully for you" anymore, so I guess it's "sarchaic." / Pete: I bet I can be a vegetarian for a whole WEEK this time! / Lil' Sis: Alert the blogosphere! Ignite the Pope-signal! TEXT-MESSAGE SANTA CLAUS! / [[Indie Rock pete stares at Lil' Sis, who smiles back at him]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1361 |
| Portland Pixel Press | Newspaper: HOBOES! Is your child protected?
/ Newspaper: Portland Pixel Post
/ Newspaper: SUICIDE! Girl Found Nude Near Camera
/ Newspaper: EARLY EDITION
/ Newspaper: Read by thousands, paid for by dozens
/ Newspaper: November 22, 2005
/ [[Black and white picture of a cheeseburger]]
/ Newspaper: MAN DOES NOT EAT HAMBURGER
/ Newspaper: RISK OF HEART DISEASE IN NO WAY ABATED BUT CLAIMS TO FEEL "HEALTHIER" AFTER ONE DAY WITHOUT RED MEAT
/ Newspaper: Starving, lentil-eating citizens of the world fail to be impressed
/ Newspaper: Local sandwich feels unwanted, seeks counseling p. 11
/ Newspaper: DATELINE: FAT-MERICA: With one less greasy meaty hamburger... / Indie Rock Pete: I've been vegan for fourteen hours now. That's longer than 99% of all truckers! / Lil' Sis: Peter, I am so utterly unimpressed, my nipples are concave. / Indie Rock Pete: Batman once said the very same thing to me in a dream.
/ Lil' Sis: Don't try to change the subject. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1362 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Red Robot yells at Indie Rock Pete, who holds a veggie dog]]
/ Red Robot: Prepare to die, you wet sack of oppression! / Pete: Have mercy! I'm a vegan who loves all living things! / Red Robot: Ahem.
/ Pete: It's a veggie dog. / Red Robot: So you think pigs deserve to live, but soybeans don't? / Red Robot: Typical hu-man bigotry. / Red Robot: I won't even ASK about the photons who died for those soybeans. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1363 |
| Ninety-Eight Point Six Degrees Of Seperation | Red Robot: YOU THINK YOU'RE SO HOT JUST 'CUZ YOU HAVE A BODY TEMPEARTURE. WELL, YOU'RE NOT! / Indie Rock Pete: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. AREN'T ROBOTS SUPPOSED TO BE LOGICAL? / Red Robot: NOTE WHEN WE'RE ANGRY OR INSECURE! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1364 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Close up of Lil' Sis's hand lifting discarded cd from trash]]
/ Lil' Sis: What's this? / [[Indie Rock Pete making dismissive hand gesture]]
/ [[Lil' Sis peers at cd]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: They just signed to a major label. I refuse to support them by keeping any of their music in my collection. I won't be part of their musical gentrification. / [[Lil' Sis holding up cd and pointing at it]]
/ Lil' Sis: Last week you wouldn't shut up about these guys. Now that they've changed labels, you can't just go and retroactively unlisten to them. You can't erase the past. / [[Lil' Sis gesturing with cd]]
/ Lil' Sis: You do realize that it's you who makes it possible for these bands to sellout, right? You run around singing their praises and eventually someone is going to take notice.
/ Lil' Sis: Someone with MTV and arena shows in mind. / [[Lil' Sis drops cd]]
/ Lil' Sis: He runs and sign them because they have the buzz that you've helped to generate.
/ [[Indie Rockl Pete looks perturbed]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: Not true.
/ Indie Rock Pete: I'm anti-buzz! / Lil' Sis: Face it Indie Rock Pete...
/ Lil' Sis: You're a sellout enabler.
/ [[Indie Rock Pete cries a single tear]]
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1365 |
| Puritans Do It Pure-er | Maura: Wanna get drunk and laugh at things which will then seem funnier? / Indie Rock Pete: I don't drink anymore. / Maura: Hah! Good one. Are you drunk already?
/ Indie Rock Pete: Nope. I'm serious. / Maura: You don't drink, smoke or eat meat now? / Maura: What's next? Church? Wearing a seatbelt? Carob? Herbal tea? / Maura: I bet you've even started wearing earplugs to concerts. / Indie Rock pete: Maybe I just want to be more healthy. / Maura: Clean living is even less sexy than public transportation. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1366 |
| A View to a Killbot | [[Red Robot stands with a large hole in his chest. Sun shines happily in the sky]]
/ Red Robot: This unit is having gastrointestinal difficulties.
/ Red Robot: Not that the world cares. / [[Clango appears to right of Red Robot]]
/ Red Robot: Clango...
/ Clango: It's not my fault! / [[Clango disappears at speed leaving a surprised looking Red Robot]]
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1367 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Red Robot: Ow
/ Electron Mike: You know what would be cool? / Electron Mike: If you had a mouth, we could watch food fall out of your neck and into your stomach. / Electron Mike: Plip! Plop! Just like the see-thru cows at the county fair. / Electron Mike: Wouldn't that be cool?
/ [[Red Robot glares with one eye]] / Red Robot: "Tragedy is when I cut my finger." / Red Robot: "Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
/ [[Red Robot glares again, this time with both eyes]] / [[Scene changes to a different location]] / Metal Steve: Why are you covered in blood?
/ Red Robot: Because it's the punchline. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1368 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Vegan Chick: Indie Rock Pete, what kind of music do you like? / Indie Rock Pete: Thats a tough one to answer. Quite a pickle! / Vegan Chick: Ooookay. What kind of music DON'T you like? / Indie Rock Pete: Would you like a hard copy, PDF or podcast of the full list of all the bands I hate? / Vegan Chick: Surprise me. / [[reading a book]] Vegan Chick: So THAT'S how you spell "Green Day" in Cantonese. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1369 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Clango and Metal Steve]]
/ Clango: I challenge you to a bumper sticker slogan battle! / Metal Steve: I accept! Start with: "My other car is a broomstick!" / Clango: My other broomstick is a roomba. / Metal Steve: My other horse is a vespa. / Clango: My other unicorn is a centaur. / Metal Steve: My other gnome is a hobbit. / Clango: My other is significant. / Metal steve: My other beard is a girlfriend. / [[Scene as before with "VICTORY" banner]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1370 |
| Smashing Olympic Dental Records | Red Robot #C-63: Hey, Paleface! Do you like my new necklace?
/ Metal Steve: Are those TEETH? / Red Robot #C-63: They used to be teeth. Now they're art! / Red Robot #C-63: Teeth may last fifty years, but art is timeless.
/ Red Robot #C-63: Ask any dentist. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1371 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Red Robot and Metal Steve]]
/ Metal Steve: How do you get away with all your crimes? / Metal Steve: Shouldn't you be in five Saddams worth of jail by now? / Red Robot: you can lock up a robot or a man or a bicycle, but you can't lock up an idead! / Red Robot: Every time someone tries to catch me, I just self-destruct. / Red Robot: By that point I've already uploaded me programs to a new body far away. / Red Robot: Information wasnts to be free to kill again! / [[widescreen with a Red robot clone as well as previous]]
/ Red Robot: Want to learn how to escape justice?
/ Red Robot Clone: Just pull my finger. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1372 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Maura and Indie Rock Pete inside]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: The Food Network taught me the true meaning of pity yesterday. / Maura: Chairman Kaga or Emeril?
/ Indie Rock Pete: Emeril. / Indie Rock Pete: That poor bastard is trapped in a veal farm of his own success. / Indie Rock Pete: He could be the greatest chef of all time but no one would care! / Indie Rock Pete: All people want is to hear the catchphrases and the sound effects. / Indie Rock Pete: That kind of success makes failure look pretty attractive. / Maura: That kind of success also makes ugly dudes pretty attractive. / Indie Rock Pete: Ew. Why'd you bring up The Chairman? / Maura: That poor man should be in therapy, not fabulous blouses. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1373 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Red Robot and Little sis]]
/ Red Robot: I just got my vacation photos back today! / Red Robot: Wanna see how I burned down the Canadian parliament last summer? / Red Robot: I ended the war of 1812 and ate some putine. It was just like living history! / Little sis: You monster! Canada is the Alderaan of North America! / Red Robot: I thought Canada was Hoth.
/ Little sis: That's Alaska. / Red Robot: Where's Tatooine?
/ Little sis: In space, dummy. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1374 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Electron Mike and Clango outside]]
/ Electron Mike: Wanna come protesting with me?
/ Clango: Yeah! / Clango: Let's beat up injustice without a fair trial! / Electron Mike: That's the spirit!
/ Clango: What are we protesting? / Electron Mike: Realistic video games. / Electron Mike: How dare technology advance in a way that makes me uncomfortable! / Electron Mike: I deserve a cartoonish fantasy life.
/ Clango: You're all set. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1375 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Pale Suzi and Little sis]]
/ Pale Suzi: You're saying that some guy just drove by and threw a sandwich at you? / Little sis: Hit and run on rye, hold the explanation. / Pale Suzi: Maybe he thought you looked too skinny? / Little sis: But isn't culture supposed to be designed to make me feel fat? / Pale Suzi: Sounds like we may have a body-image anarchist on the loose! / Pale Suzi: I wonder if he's a femenist or a jerk.
/ Little sis: I wish he just threw money. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1376 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Clango and Little sis]]
/ Little sis: Clango, I need your opinion as someone who never slept with me. / Little sis: Am I too skinny? / Clango: Honestly?
/ Little sis: Honestly. / Clango: The right answer is "You're beautiful just the way you are." / Clango: But I'm gonna level with you. / Clango: I'm way too scared of you to give you an honest answer. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1377 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Widescreen. Pale person in dark hoodie holding sign "Will subvert dominant paradigm for food. Joel and Metal Steve looking on]]
/ Metal Steve: Performance artist or hobo?
/ Joel: Graduate student in Literature. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1378 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Indie Rock Pete and Metal Steve]]
/ Metal Steve: Indie Rock Pete! Have you started your year-end best music list yet? / Indie Rock Pete: Why bother? / Indie Rock Pete: There's only going to be another year next year. / Metal Steve: Not if armageddon happens. / [[No Dialogue]] / Metal Steve: What? / Metal Steve: Tell me one thing that is more bad-ass than the end of the world. / Indie Rock Pete: A fifty-foot atomic monster truck made entirely of sausage meat! / [[Indie Rock Pete moves away slightly]]
/ Metal Steve: It's like you live in my dreams. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1379 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 >>