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| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura: lil' sis- you look like a freak, but somehow it works. / Lil' Sis: i'm stylish by sheer force of will / Lil' Sis: lime green cowboy hat and a leisure suit? c'est facile. / Lil' Sis: trucker hat and a prom dress? easy. / Lil' Sis: gimp mask and batman underoos? not a problem. / Maura: at what age does that kind of outfit go from being hip to looking stupid? / Lil' Sis: how old are you? / Maura: [[angry]]
/ Lil' Sis: subtract a year. / Lil' Sis: [[standing there with her lime green cowboy hat pulled down over her face with the crown of the hat broken]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1440 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Steve: Rebel Base, thirty seconds and closing. / Steve: Rebel Base within range! / Steve: Commence primary ignition! / Suzie: Hey Steve!
/ Steve: Gah! / Suzie: You're a hard man to track down. / Suzie: Do you want to come to my party?
/ Steve: Now's not really a good time. / Suzie: No rush. I don't wanna interrupt. / [[Stare at each other. Steve's face is sad, frustrated]] / Suzie: What? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1441 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Heavy Metal Steve: A PARTY YOU SAY?
/ Goth Suzie: THE ULTIMATE PARTY! A DISCO FROM... BEOYND! / Goth Suzie: WE'RE GONNA HAVE FOOD, BOOZE AND OUIJA BOARDS. / Goth Suzie: WE'RE TALKING STUDIO 54 MEETS AREA 51! / Heavy Metal Steve: I HOPE I DON'T GET GROPED BY A GHOST
/ Goth Suzie: TWO WORDS: FOIL PANTS / Goth Suzie: ANY DRINK REQUESTS BESIDES THE OBVIOUS? (VODKA & ECTO COOLER) / Heavy Metal Steve: I HUMBLY REQUEST THAT ALL THE GIRLS YOU INVITE DRINK AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1442 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | HIGH TECHNOLOGY, LOW SELF ESTEEM! /
/ Red: WHY HELLO, CLANGO.
/ Clango: HOWDY, RED. / Red: I HEARD THAT GREASY LAMB KEBAB YOU CALL A GIRL-FRIEND IS HAVING A PARTY. / Clango: YEAH! ARE YOU COMING? WE'RE GONNA BE DIPPING FOOD IN OTHER FOOD! / Red: I MIGHT, IF SOMEONE COULD BE BOTHERED TO INVITE ME. /
/ Red: SEE YA AROUND THE WIRE-LESS HUB, "PAL." I'LL BE WITH MY REAL FRIENDS. / Red: 'TIS BETTER TO REIGN IN HELL THAN SERVE IN HEAVEN. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1443 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: Why are you so mad? What did I do?! / Clango: Sweetie, will you at least still tell me? /
/ Clango: Irrational Flesh-ling! Why must I love you? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1444 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Maura: Of COURSE you can have a hundred bucs for a new Gameboy! / [[Maura has an angry flower in a thought bubble over her head. Lil' Sis has a Super Mario Brothers-esque mushroom in a thought bubble over hers.]] / Maura: Twenty hours of working as a Sandwich Artist minus taxes should do it. / Maura: It's faster if you becomer a stripper or a postal worker. / Lil' Sis: It's just not fair. / Maura: LIFE isn't fair.
/ Lil' Sis: How would you know? You don't HAVE one. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1445 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: Career Day in Nitrous Alley}} / [[Two women are talking]] / Lill' Sis: Someday I'll be rich and famous and leave this stupid town / Maura: Doubtful. The only famous dentists and the ones who commit crimes. / Lill' Sis: You're more right than you know. / Lill' Sis: I'm going to be the world's first dental pirate. / Lill' Sis: Stealing gold on the high seas and and burying it in teeth! What a life! / Maura: You're got this all worked out.
/ Lill' Sis: Crime is all about the details. / Lill' Sis: Instead of getting money out of an ATM, I'm gonna just go around punching my patients in the face. / Maura: Sounds cathartic.
/ Lill' Sis: I wanna do what I love. / Maura: Stealing and beating people up?
/ Lill' Sis: That's my passion. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1446 |
| Super-Dickery | Lil' Sis: Hey Nipples! Take me to the store and buy me comics. / Lil' Sis: Otherwise, I can't guarantee to keep forgetting that thing I saw you doing with that other thing. / Nipples the Bear: To the comic shop! / Lil' Sis: You're the guiltiest super-hero since Spider-Man! / Nipples the Bear: Shhhh! You can't say 'super-hero'.
/ Lil' Sis: Why? It's a word. I say words. / Lil' Sis: Sometimes I even string words into sentences in order to express thoughts. / Nipples the Bear: Yeah, but 'super-hero' is trademarked.
/ Lil' Sis: But it's a generic word! / Lil' Sis: That's like trying to own 'cowboy'.
/ Lil' Sis: I suddenly don't want you to buy me comics. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1447 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | COWARDLY. SUPERSTITIOUS. DIFFERENT. / OH BATMAN! WHO WON'T YOU BEAT SENSELESS?
/ GREAT HERA! / ! / IS THERE A PROBLEM?
/ GIRLS DON'T READ COMIC BOOKS! / SO MUCH FOR THE INALTERABLE LAWS OF PHYSICS.
/ THE WHAT? / I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE IN ANYMORE. / SORRY.
/ I PROMISE NEVER TO VIOLATE YOUR CONTINUITY AGAIN. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1448 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | YOU KNOW THAT COMICS AREN'T REAL, RIGHT?
/ WELL, DUH. / THEY HAPPEN IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SEPERATED FROM OUR OWN BY VIBRATIONAL MEMBRANE. / IS THAT THE SAME UNIVERSE WHERE UOU TAKE YOUR MEDS? / I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT JUSTICE LEAGUE IS NOT A REPUTABLE SCIENTIFIC JOURNAL. / YEAH I GUESS I'M JUST A BIG, STUPID IDIOT. / BUT AT LEAST I'M A BIG, STUPID IDIOT THAT UNDERSTANDS QUANTUM STRING THEORY! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1449 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: Why are you so mad, what did I do?! / Sweetie, will you at least tell me? / Irrational fleshling! Why must I love you http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1450 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Indie Rock Pete: Selling out the truth and cashing in is the American Dream. / Clango: I believe in dreams. / Indie Rock Pete: That and a unicorn will get you a cup of coffee. / Indie Rock Pete: But a dream & a unicorn's severed head will get you a solid gold airplane! / [[Unicorn with a severed head is shown prancing in the forest]] / [[Clango is disgusted]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: That was a metaphor. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1451 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Metal Steve: Maura, do you ever wonder if you're wasting your life? / Maura: not since I discovered the Internet! / Maura: When I feel down, I just search the Internet for people who accomplished even less than me. / [[Google search for "I spend my whole day eating Cheetos and arguing on message boards" with the mouse pointing at the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button.]] / Steve: That's one way of clicking "I'm Feeling Lucky."
/ Maura: It sure bets the other. / Maura: The one with the vodka, the blindfold, and the solitary bullet. / Maura: click http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1452 |
| Math life | Metal Steve: Why are you always so depressed?
/ Maura: Drama makes me more interesting. / Metal Steve: Drama plus time equals boring. / Metal Steve: Boring times time equals stagnant. / Metal Steve: Stagnant to the power of friends equals lonely. / Metal Steve: Do you really want to equal lonely? / Metal Steve: Wouldn't you rather be greater than? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1453 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[clango's cell phone rings]]
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1454 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title: Revolution By the Milliampere}}
/ [[Indie Rock Pete puts a sticker on a telephone pole, sticker reads "Power Droid, 1.1 meters Gonk Gonk, Has a Posse"]] / Red Robot: What do you think you're doing?
/ Indie Rock Pete: Raging against the machine! / Red Robot: By putting stickers on a pole?
/ Indie Rock Pete: Take that, Whitey! / Red Robot: As a machine, I am offended by the low quality of your rage. / Red Robot: How do you plan to be revolutionary if you can't even be creative? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1455 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Red Robot: revolution is more than spray paint and some stickers. / Red Robot: you want to be a rebel?
/ Red Robot: fine. / Red Robot: give up your job, home, tv, hobbies, internet and car. / Red Robot: start making your own shoes & growing your own food. / Red Robot: it's only a matter of time before you'll have to resort to crime just to survive. / Red Robot: if you're lucky the cops will hunt you down like an animal & kill you. / Red Robot: if you're not lucky, you can look forward to spending the rest of your life in a cage. / Red Robot: of course, you could trade a little security for freedom and become self-employed. / Indie Rock Pete: lend me a grand to buy a hot dog cart? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1456 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Indie Rock Pete: What's the deal with these new pink ten dollar bills? / Indie Rock Pete: I like my money the way I like my absinthe- green, liquid, & illegal! / Charles: Canadian invasion.
/ Don't say I didn't warn you. / Indie Rock Pete: This aggression will not stand!
/ Charles: I hope you like universal health care, sucker. / Pale Suzie: What's the deal with these new pink ten dollar bills?
/ Clango: I think they're supposed to be "pride dollars." http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1457 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: Are we robots real? / Red Robot: Do you mean in the "Stone cold Playa" sense? / Clango: How do I know for sure that I'm actually alive? / Clango: How do I know I'm not just another computer with delusions of compatability? / Clango: How do I define myself?
/ Red Robot: What do you dislike? / Red Robot: You are what you hate. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1458 |
| Pessimism: Or How I Learned to Objectively Evaluate Experiential Data | Clango: I like to think that I'm more than the sum of my dislikes. / Red Robot: And I'd like to believe in magic, but that doesn't mean the faeries aren't laughing behind my back. / Clango: Why are you so cynical? / Red Robot: Low expectations lead to minimal disappointment. / Clango: It's sad you have to think that way.
/ Red Robot: What planet did you grow up on? / Red Robot: Planet Home-Schooled, deep in the Granola star system? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1459 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Title: THE DAY HIS RAGE MADE SENSE / Maura: COFFEE?
/ Red Robot: FEH. / Red Robot: I PREFER TO START EACH MORNING BY QUERYING MY DATABASE OF PEOPLE I HAVE GRUDGES AGAINST. / Maura: HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU? LOTS OF PERSONAL GROWTH, I IMAGINE. / Red Robot: I CAN PROCESS ONE HUNDRED NINEY THOUSAND, THREE HUNDRED AND TWELVE JERKS IN UNDER 30 SECONDS! / Maura: AND I BET THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO PRESS IS "CTRL-F-U." / Red Robot: I AM A MARVEL OF RUTHLESS EFFICIENCY. / Maura: YOU WASTE YOUR ENERGY WITH AS LITTLE WASTED ENERGY AS POSSIBLE? / Red Robot: ONE HUNDRED NINETY THOUSAND, THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1460 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Maura is talking to the coffee pot, while Metal Steve and Clango look on]]
/ Maura: Hello, my love. Are you ready to keep me up all night? / Metal Steve: Sounds like somebody is trying to give up the booze. / Clango: Addiction can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only be changed. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1461 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: How long have you been sober?
/ Maura: Like Forever! / < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1462 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Conspicuous by its Absence / Indie Rock Pete: My style is that I have no style. / Indie Rock Pete: I can never go out of style, because I was never in style. / Indie Rock Pete: No one can ever rip off my style, because it doesn't exist. / Indie Rock Pete: I am post-stylistic. The ghost of the fashon future! / Charles: Whatever. You're just a hipster in denial. / Indie Rock Pete: But I wear a golf shirt!
/ Charles: Yeah, but you dont mean it. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1463 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | HTTP: Happy Tree Transfer Protocol / Indie Rock Pete: I need you to make me a website on the internet. / Charles: Yes, of course. The internet. / Indie Rock Pete: Actually, the less people that can see it - the better! / Indie Rock Pete: In fact, I should probably charge money for it. / Charles: Shoulds like what you actually want is a magazine.
/ {{Background of panel has changed from brown to green, but then returns to brown for the next panel}} / Indie Rock Pete: How do I upload that to my Geocities? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1464 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title: "Tears Don't Grow On Clouds, You Know"}}
/ [[There is a gray cloud above Pete's head. The letters EMD are in the cloud. Pete is obviously frowning]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: Sigh.
/ Lil' Sis: Depressed again, Indie Rock Pete? / Indie Rock Pete: Of course!
/ Indie Rock Pete: Sadness is the price of genius. / Lil' Sis: So I've heard.
/ Lil' Sis: Repeatedly. / Indie Rock Pete: Sigh.
/ Lil' Sis: Sigh! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1465 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: One trillion mili-pouts!
/ Indie Rock Pete: Sigh. / Clango: My Mope-O-Scope's readings are off the charts!
/ Indie Rock Pete: Bleh. / Clango: Have you tried restoring yourself from a system disk? / Indie Rock Pete: Nah, all my CDs sound the same when I'm like this. / Clango: You could become obssessed with an abstract, time-consuming hobby? / [[Indie Rock Pete smirks]] / [[A red ball of yarn, crossed by knitting needles, framed by a big yellow star]]
/ Narrator: And that was the day Indie Rock Pete actually learned to knit ...
/ ... rather than just go around lying to pretty girls about it. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1466 |
| CLOTH-BENEFIT ANALYSIS | [[Maura watches Indie Rock Pete knitting]] / Maura: YOU'RE KNITTING NOW? SO MUCH FOR THAT TREND. / [[Maura smiles, Pete frowns]] / Maura: WHY DO YOU WASTE $20 ON YARN TO MAKE A $3 PAIR OF SOCKS? / Pete: YOU JUST DON'T GET IT.
/ [[Maura starts frowning]] / Pete: I GET A LOT MORE ENTERTAINMENT PER DOLLAR OUT OF YARN THAN ANYTHING ELSE. / Pete: IT'S EASILY FIVE TIMES CHEAPER THAN SEEING A MOVIE!
/ [[Maura frowns and looks away]] / Pete: AND IT'S TEN TIMES LESS EXPENSIVE THAN GOING TO A SHOW AND BUYING DRINKS. / Pete: NOT TO MENTION WHAT IT COSTS TO CONVINCE GIRSL TO IGNORE MY PERSONALITY.
/ [[Maura smiles]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1467 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Hey! Lazy! The hobo factory is down the road.
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1468 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{300 Baud of Street Cred}}
/ Uncle Grandpa: I hate change.
/ Clango: You don't SAY. / Uncle Grandpa: You kids today with your Farkspaces, Slashboings, Drudgefilters & Diggwoots. / Uncle Grandpa: Back in my day, the internet was hard work! / Uncle Grandpa: Reloading a BBS mean actuall redialing. / Uncle Grandpa: If man was meant to right-click, steve would have given us two buttons. / Clango: Umm... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1469 |
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