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diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{Class-action warsuit}} / [[Indie Rock Pete smokes happily]] / [[Red Robot walks up to Pete]] / Red Robot: Bum a smoke? / Red Robot: Thanks, sucker. / Indie Rock Pete: So much for dying slowly. / [[Red Robot stands alone, with blood splotches on him.]] / Red Robot: Smooth and satisfying. / Clango: I thought you quit murder? / Red Robot: I start tomorrow! / Clango: Tsk, tsk. / Red Robot: It's OK if he kills himself, but I'm not allowed to help? Whatever.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1590
Unique snowflakes pressed into icecubes Title: Unique snowflakes pressed into icecubes / Clango: Wow! Look at all the choices! / Suzie: Bah! Crimes Against Halloweenity. / Suzie: Store-bought costumes suck! / Suzie: I'd no sooner cosplay off the rack than I would serve dinner guests soup out of a vending machine! / Suzie: Not everyone was lucky enough to be born weird looking like you, honey.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1591
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Suzie and Clango sit in bed, hearts over their heads]] / Suzie: Invigorating! / Clango: Indubitably! / Suzie: I can't wait to post this on my LiveJournal! / Clango: Eek! Not everything is blog-fodder! / Clango: Some things are just for you and me and the neighbors downstairs. / Suzie: I can make it a friends-only post if you're worried about privacy. / Clango: Gah! Even worse! The public is one thing, but my friends are jerks!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1592
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Clango is seated on a sofa in Pale Suzie's living room.]] / <> / Clango: Somebody is pinging the door! I'll get it! / [[Pale Suzie is in the kitchen heating a tea kettle.]] / Pale Suzie: Don't forget to make the Star Trek noise this time. / Pale Suzie: Verisimilitude is paramount! / [[Nipples the Bear is at the door.]] / Nipples the Bear: Is Suzie home? / Clango: She might be. / Nipples the Bear: I brought her a piece of my famous hot dog loaf. / Nipples the Bear: It's famous! / Clango: I bet it is, you lemur Lothario. / Nipples the Bear: So, can I come in? / [[Clango: angry expression]] / [[In the living room, or with solid pink background at any rate]] / Clango: How was I supposed to know he was actually talking about meat loaf with a hot dog in it? / [[Nipples the Bear, head-injured in torn suit]] / Pale Suzie: Poor little yiffy-woobles, I won't let that mean robot hit you again!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1593
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title-text: Animal Rights to Remain Silent}} / Pale Suzie: Clango Cyclotron! What has gotten into you?! / Pale Suzie: You're fine punching poor nipples, but your too timid to PINCH mine? / Nipples the Bear: Oh, SNAP. She didn't go there. / [[caption: "N" is for Nipples, whose head went concave]] / Clango Cyclotron: I thought he was here to kiss you without a permit! / Pale Suzie: Well, he wasn't! / Nipples: [[off panel]] Wait, I wasn't? / Pale Suzie: Go cower in the corner! You're not helping! / Nipples: Mew.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1594
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Clango: I AM NOT APOLOGIZING TO A MAN IN A FURRY BLUE BEAR SUIT!Clango: ALLOW ME SOME SELF-RESPECT! / Pale Suzie: DO IT. / Clango: I'VE GOT ISSUES! HE SCARED ME. IT ISN'T MY FAULT! / Pale Suzie: DO IT. / Clango: EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. / Pale Suzie: DO IT. / [[Pale Suzie glares at Clango]] / Clango: SIGH. FINE. / Pale Suzie: THANK YOU. / Clango: I'M SORRY I HIT YOU, NIPPLES / Nipples: WAS IT BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT I WAS A REAL BEAR? I BET IT WAS!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1595
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{Title of Comic: A PROVOCATIVE MANNER OF DRESS}} / Red Robot: YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE PICTURES OF THE PROPHET MOHAMMED? / Metal Steve: YES...TO THE POINT OF NOT WANTING TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION. / [[In the next frame, Metal Steve has disappeared]] / Red Robot: GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD! / Red Robot: YOU DROPPED YOUR FREEDOM HERE IN THE FREEDOM SHOWER! / [[Indie Rock Pete enters]] / Indie Rock Pete: SCREAMING MADLY INTO THE OPEN AIR AGAIN, RED ROBOT? / Red Robot: I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF IT'S FORBIDDEN TO DRESS AS MOHAMMED FOR HALLOWEEN. / [[A "magic 8-ball" appears over Indie Rock Pete's head with "signs point to yes" displayed in it]] / Red Robot: I WONDER IF I COULD CAUSE A RIOT? / Indie Rock Pete: NOT EVERYTHING'S ABOUT YOU, DUDE. / Red Robot: SURE IT IS! / Red Robot: THE MORE PEOPLE I OFFEND, THE MORE PEOPLE I INCLUDE!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1596
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic MAURA: YOU KNOW WHY I LOVE ALCOHOL? / LIL' SIS: A SWIG A DAY KEEPS YOUR SHAKES AWAY? / [[Maura opens a beer bottle]] / MAURA: DRINKING BRINGS HAPPINESS TO ALL WHO PARTAKE. / MAURA: LIQUOR IS THE OPTIMISTIC DEPRESSANT! / LIL' SIS: MORE LIKE THE QUIXOTIC NARCOTIC.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1597
diesel sweeties: Half the Mai Tai I Used To Be Lil' Sis: You drink to much / Maura Glee: Oh, lay off. / Maura Glee: I just like to be happy. / Maura Glee: Don't you want me to be happy? / Lil' Sis: Since when does the dictionary definition of 'happy' include vomiting and liver failure? / Maura Glee: Um, since spring break? / Lil' Sis: Clever. / Maura Glee: I thought so! / Lil' Sis: Yeah, but your drunk. / Maura Glee: Stop being alcohol intolerant! / Maura Glee: I'm still most of a person!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1598
diesel sweeties: Lose the spoon, dude. [[Maura Glee and Lil' Sis looking at each other]] / <> / Lil' Sis: Boy Alert! / [[Maura Glee walks out off frame]] / Lil' Sis: What's up unicorn shorts? / Lil' Sis: You need me to ... WHAT? / Lil' Sis: What do you mean, all you ccan cook is fish sticks? / Lil' Sis: That's like syaing hte only hair you can grow is pubes. / Lil' Sis: Your mom failed at raising you. / Lil' Sis: De-Boyfriended! / <> / Lil' Sis: Eek! / Lil' Sis: Speaking of horrifying globs of meat.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1599
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Enter Clango and Maura]] / Clango: Why are you so mad? What did I do?! / Clango: Sweetie, will you at least tell me? / Clango: Irrational flesh-ling! Why must I love you?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1600
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Pale Suzie: It's not my fault if I whup you. / Maura: It's not my fault if you bring Nerf to a gun fight. / Metal Steve: This can't end well. You gonna stop them? / Pale Suzie: You won't like me when I'm angy. / Maura: I don't like anything. I have attachment disorder. / Clango: You want me to pick sides between my girlfriend and my ex? No thanks! / Pale Suzie: Don't make me put a hex on you. / Maura: Feh! I drink leprechauns for dinner. / Pale Suzie: Grrr! Snarl! / Maura: I'm so scared, onomatopoeia my pants. / Metal Steve: Are they fighting over you? / Clango: Not consciously.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1601
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{Title text: Merle Haggard, Trent Reznor and Type O Negative Walk Into a Bar...}} / [[Pale Suzie is talking to Clango, a robot]] / Suzie: My cat left me, my Volvo's wrecked, and your ex-girlfriend's ass is forever seared into my memory. / And if that weren't enough, my wonderful "boyfriend" just sat back and watched! / I feel like a Johnny Cash song produced by Rick Rubin. / [[Clango opens his mouth as if to say something]] / Suzie: Why won't you transform into a car and hold me? / Don't you love me?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1602
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic the fry-nal frontier / did you idiots get lost on your way to the idiot convention or are you just idiots? / we're the teleportatoes! / we overused teleportation and got fat! / we're trying out our costumes for your party! / halloween is cancelled! / come to my house and I'll scramble your molecules with my bare hands! / "unglaublich!" / ! / are we clear? / getting there! / guys, wait form me! / <>
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1603
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[a man with an astronaut suit stands in front of a black monolith. there is a monkey with a tool in its hand beside the monolith]] / STOP TRYING TO CHANGE ME / {{title text: 2006: A SPOUSE ODISSEY}}
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1604
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain. / form of a bucket of water! / captain planet! a pleasure to make your acquiescence. / I'm jayna! the dominant wonder twin! / all you vulcans look alike. / form of liquid courage! / halloween just got cancelled! / we're going downtown to riot! / wanna come with? / nice costume. / I think we invented a new fetish. / form of a cold shower!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1605
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic mewie, chewie and blooey / ok, you nephews! are we ready to trick or treat? / <> / rahh! / kool-aid man! / ! / I'm the juggernaut! I came to tell you halloween got cancelled! / waugh! / where are your pants? / I'm not allowed to wear pants. I'm in character!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1606
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Maura sits on the toilet, drinking a beer, answers telephone]] / Maura: Maura speaking, how may I direct your flow? / Maura: What? I ruined Halloween? / Maura: How does that make me feel? / Maura: Powerful, I guess! / Maura: What am I going to do about it? / Maura: Have a good laugh! / [[Maura looks distraught]] / Maura: You wouldn't *dare*. / [[Maura looks apprehensive]] / Maura: That was a sexy bedtime secret! / Maura: Like the thing with the pickles and the caulk gun! / Maura: This is my reward for trusting you with my only fear. / Maura: Sigh. / Maura: You can have your party at my house *under one condition*. / [[Scene changes to Clango and Red Robot, dressed in Halloween costumes; Clango is a Battlestar Galactica Cylon, Red Robot is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle]] / Clango: All I had to do was promise to change my mask! / Red Robot: Cowabunga! / {{title text: By Your Command}}
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1607
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Drink like link / hey, fellow elf! want a beer? / I'd love one, but it smells like I'd have to reach inside you to get it, sloshy. / you're a nasty little imp. / I preffer "naughty". / also spankings. / why don't I ever meet any non-perverted dwarves? / quit taking your top off for howard stern and your odds may improve! / excuse me for promoting my website! / porn shouldn't need to adverstise. / it's porn!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1608
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Maura: UM. / Clango: HI. / Grandpa: THIS PARTY SUCKS! WHERE IS EVERYBODY? / Maura: OH MY GOD, GRANDPA'S NOT DEAD! / Grandpa: OH, REAL ORIGINAL! / Maura: DIDN'T YOU TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS THAT YOU CONVINCED ME TO HAVE THE PARTY HERE? / Clango: NOPE. / Maura: WHY NOT?! / Clango: I WANTED TO SEE IF YOU'D DO THE RIGHT THING. / Maura: I OUGHT TO KICK YOU IN THE CYCLOPS. / Clango: LUCKY FOR ME, I LEFT IT AT HOME.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1609
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic missed connections / eve, do you ever regret giving up men to date women? / I feel a lot of things. / oddly enough, "regret" isn't one of them. / you know... I'm so smart, it could almost be like you were dating a woman. / almost only counts in craig's list and hand grenades
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1610
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic he's particular about making waves / dang it! nobody appreciates how cool I am! / but if people realized I was awesome, would that make me a dork? / is my hipness intrinsic or is it defined by outside perceptions? / would my popularity redefine cool, or would acceptance automatically cause me to be passe? / is lameness absolute or relative? can one even define "cool"? / you probably could if you didn't just stand around discussing it.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1611
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Pale Suzie: I want to hurt someone or break something. / Pale Suzie: The world must pay! Fetch my cricket bat! / Indie Rock Pete: Stop! Collaborate! Listen! / Indie Rock Pete: Don't get yourself arrested and make your day worse! / Indie Rock Pete: If you need to vent, just smash something that's already broken! / Indie Rock Pete: You can't get in trouble for wrecking the unsalvageable! / Pale Suzie: Wanna go vote for all the wrong people? / Indie Rock Pete: Hottest date I've had all month.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1612
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Cousin Votey: Hello, Red Robot! Lovely day to conquer America, don't you think? / Red Robot: Cousin Votey! / Red Robot: Of all the robots running amok, you may be the only one who scares me. / Cousin Votey: Aww, shucks. / Cousin Votey: When I take over America, maybe I'll give you Delaware. / [[Red Robot is alarmed.]] / Red Robot: Up yours, if you have one! I'll crush these hu-mans myself, just you wait! / Cousin Votey: Get with the times! The future of evil isn't violence. / Cousin Votey: The future of evil is manipulating information. / Cousin Votey: The future of evil is me. / [[Red Robot becomes angry.]] / [[Red Robot glares at Cousin Votey]] / [[Cousin Votey is destroyed and smoking, Red Robot glares with arm raised.]] / Red Robot: Tell it to all the king's horses and all the king's men, punk. / {{Title Text: Democracy DIEs BOLDly}}
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1613
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title text: Direct Representation is SO Last Century}} / [[Red Robot, Metal Steve, and Charles]] / Red Robot: For the purposes of this conversation, let us agree that the U.S.A. is the most powerful country in the world. / Metal Steve: I guess you're not counting Atlantis? / Charles: I respectfully disagree, but please continue. / Red Robot: You're honestly happy to hand political power over to whoever the counting machine tells you is the winner? That's crazy! / Metal Steve: I don't wanna tally a billion votes! / Charles: Maybe if every American voter cast ten ballots. / Red Robot: I'm an angry, remorseless homicidal robot! I want to kill you all and make really cute necklaces from your eyeballs. I shouldn't be the voice of reason! / Charles: That's OK. They're not listening.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1614
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Pete: Elves. / Steve: Gnomes / Pete: Elves cast spells *and* use swords! / Steve: Gnomes have comical, conical hats! / Clango: Argue about things normal people can tell apart! / Pete: Macs are better! / Steve: Windows is ubiquitous! / Pete: Get a Mac, you dweeb! / Steve: Learn Windows, sissy! / Clango: Umm, how about something that actually matters? / Pete: Kittens! / Steve: Puppies! / Pete: Claws cannot be conquered! / Steve: This litter will not give in to terror! / Clango: This is the way the debate ends. Not with a bang, but with a hiss and some whimpering.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1615
I'm in ur church, smiting ur infidels Clango: Do you believe in God? / Pete: I believe in lightning. / Pete: My relationship with God is like a blogger's with the internet. / Pete: Post stuff folks like, and it's peace, love and an empty inbox. / Pete: People on pay attention when you say something they disagree with! / Clango: The only way you can imagine the universe noticing you is in order to punish you? / Pete: I am pwned in the eyes of the Lord.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1616
amber waves of grief Clango: Do you know what would cheer you up, Indie Rock Pete? / Pete: The misfortune of others? / Clango: A roadtrip across the country! Small towns! Back roads! Americana! Pie! / Pete: Truck stop 'ladies'! No phone reception! Meth labs! Grits! / Clango: Why do you hate everything I suggest? / Pete: The only good ideas are the ones I can take credit for.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1617
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[A goth stands with Pale Suzie, both smoking cigarettes]] / Goth: Pale Suzie! When did you start smoking again? / Pale Suzie: Since shut the hell up, I had a bad day. / [[Both finished their cigarettes]] / Goth: Remember when you quit? Remember what you said to me? / Goth: "At least suicide bombers have political beliefs." / Goth: "You slowly murder yourself and everyone around you for no reason at all." / Goth: Ring any bells? / Pale Suzie: Yeah, yours if you don't back off. / {{title text: Irony so think, it can make a goth smile"
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1618
Wii apologize for nothing Clango: You'll let me play with your Wii if I let you play with mine? / Clango: Does that mean you got the operation? Should I call you "Marvin" now? / Clango: Since we used to date, does that make me Bii?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1619
 

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