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diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic clango: why are you so mad? what did I do?! / clango: sweetie, will you at least tell me? / clango: irrational flesh-ling! why must I love you?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1650
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic CAN YOU FIX HIM? WHATEVER IT COSTS, I'LL PAY FOR IT. / I'LL DO IT FOR FREE IF YOU HAVE HIS BACKUP DISK. / WHAT? / DON'T LOOK AT ME? / HE'S THE DORKWAD IN OUR RELATIONSHIP, NOT ME. / I'M THE PERVERT. / I'VE GOT ONE FROM WHEN WE WERE DATING BUT IT'S KINDA OLD. / EWW, STALKER!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1651
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Maura: Doc, am I a horrible person? / Doc: Please don't ask me that. / Maura: Oh. / Doc: Here's how I see it: I'm the I.T. guy. / Doc: There's only so many billable hours in a day. / Doc: I can use those hours telling my users what jerks they are, or I can get paid to solve problems. / Maura: Thanks, Doc. / Doc: No need for thanks. Liquor will do.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1652
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Is Clango going to be ok? / He's right as rain on tattooine. / He's dead? / He's fine. I'm just bad at metaphors. / Whew! / Don't smile at my metaphore until you hear my simile. / I won't criticize your similies if you don't probe my analogies. / You're gross! / Ahem. / You're grosser than a dozen dozens!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1653
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Clango lost his memory? / Not all of it. / Let's just say he's a few kilobytes short of a thumb drive. / A little light in the boot loader? / Don't talk about my man like that!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1654
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Hot dog! / tick tick tick / ding! / I've never been to an underground lair before! / It's not a lair, it's a workshop. / Gah! I'm alive! / or something similiar! / It's underground and full of science. That makes it a lair. / Where is everybody? / I hope I didn't catch a Y2K bug and sleep through the whole apocalypse. / Ding! / Clango! You're awake! / It's the Angel of death! / Finally! Proof I really do have a soul! Suck it, Descartes!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1655
Groundhog Day [[Maura and Clango are in bed]] / Clango: First time's a charm! / Maura: You're a natural! / Maura: (Aside from the fact that you are completely artificial) / Clango: I'm so glad I saved myself for someone special. / Maura: Aww! / Maura: That sounds sweeter every time you say it. / Clango: I said that before? / Maura: Um, in my dreams! / Maura: My totally infallible psychic dreams which you should never, EVER question!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1656
the light of my life Pete: Suzie? / Suzie: Bluh. / Pete: It's been weeks! You need to leave the house. / Pete: You're going from pale to bioluminescent! Goths don't glow! / Pete: You'll find someone new! / Pete: If the Industrial Revolution has taught me anything, it's that we're all replaceable. / Pete: Except for you and me. We're special!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1657
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic mew! mew! / do you hear something cute? / um... just you? / i'm going to zoom-vestigate! / a kitten! / mew! / leap! / when did i get a kitten? / happy birthday!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1658
Possession of Kitty Pun is Illegal CLANGO : The only thing better than getting a new kitten is NAMING a new kitten! / JON STAMOS : ? / CLANGO : I'll call her "Rebecca Romijn!" She has a certain "Mystique." / JON STAMOS : Mew? / CLANGO : Hee! / MAURA : You can't DO that. Her name is "Jon Stamos." / CLANGO : But... my hilarous pun?! / MAURA : You cannot change a cat's name unless she agrees! / MAURA : You must obey cat law! Unless you want to go to cat jail! / JON STAMOS : Mew!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1659
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Clango: Hooray! I'm cooking / Clango: I mean, we're cooking?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1660
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Indie Rock Pete: I can tell there is a gaping hole in your heart. / Pale Suzie: let me guess...you want me to fill it with you? / Indie Rock Pete: The idea crossed my mind! / Pale Suzie: Cross it off. Use Ink. / Indie Rock Pete: Why? / Pale Suzie: You want the truth, or do you want to be let down easy? / Indie Rock Pete: I want you to date me again! / Pale Suzie: And I want to be a pony!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1661
love is an ark and you're the third penguin Pete: What's wrong with me? Why do girls hate me so much? / Maura: Too short! / Eve: Two beans...and a frank. / British punk girl: Too far away! / Suzy: Too much history! (Not to mention two legs.) / Pete: Maybe I'm just too much for most women. / Little Sis: Too funny!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1662
Glands Are Swell Indie Rock Pete: Frieda Berger, you don't look so well. / Frieda: I think I have the monos. / [[Indie Rock Pete thinks to himself.]] / Indie Rock Pete: Sweet! The kissing disease! / Indie Rock Pete: Um... I have mono, too! / Frieda: We can be lethargy buddies! / [[Indie Rock Pete thinks to himself.]] / Indie Rock Pete: It's only a lie until she infects me!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1663
mulit-channel misanthropy Pete: If we both caught mono, would we have stereo? / Pete: What if we were swingers? Or wife-swappers? / Pete: Would we suffer from four-way flu? Polyamoritis? Quadrophenia?!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1664
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic I have a girlfriend! / What's wrong with her? / I have a girlfriend! / Does she need asylum or citizenship? / I have a girlfriend! / Did you at least give her a running start? / I have a girlfriend! / Holodeck or hallucination? / I have a girlfriend! / Is she pressing charges? / I have a girlfriend! / MEW!* / {{Asterisk explanation: *I'm a cat}}
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1665
mathematics: the sum of all fears Pete: I keep telling people about my new girlfriend, but nobody seems very happy for me. / Little Sis: Allow me to explain in terms you won't understand. / Little Sis: "P" represents every person you know. For simplicity's sake, we won't include your mom. / Little Sis: "D" will stand for the number of people you have ever been a douche to. / Little Sis: 'P' minus 'D' equals the number of people who want you to be happy. / Little Sis: It's almost as if some Babylonian dude invented the zero just for you!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1666
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Wanna read my new cartoon? / I could use a good sigh. / "Kinky Thinkies" by N. Bear / guys? / "What is the sound of one nerd larping?" / You're a regular Gary Larson... If by "regular," I mean "loves oat bran."
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1667
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{I think she played keyboard for the Placebo Effect back in the Eighties}} / Maura [[reading the paper]]: Recent studies indicate that people believe in wishes and fairies. / Red Robot #C-63: Stop the presses! An elf fell in! / Maura: This is serious! It's in the New York Times! / Red Robot #C-63: Bah! / Red Robot #C-63: How seriously can I take a paper that doesn't have a comics page? / Maura: You don't believe in the power of magical thinking? / Red Robot #C-63: The fact that you talking sausages can be said to think isn't magical *enough*?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1668
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Happy Month-a-versary! / Has it been a whole month already? / I think so? / It seems like I've known you longer. / I made you a card. I ink-jetted it myself! / Thirty days hath September...April, June and November. All the rest have thirty-one. That's when I'll slip you the tongue. / Roses are red, violets are blue...This card makes no sense, but at least it's from you.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1669
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Maura: What's more valuable, time or money? / Indie Rock Pete: That depends. / Indie Rock Pete: Are you young and poor or old and wealthy? / Indie Rock Pete: I for one, am neither and both. My mom just cut me off. / Maura: You finally need to get a job? / Indie Rock Pete: So much for a life of art. / Maura: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (snort) / Indie Rock Pete: What's so funny? / Maura: Necessity is the invention of your MOTHER!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1670
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Indie Rock Pete: Can I borrow a ten? / Metal Steve: Get a job, you dirty hippie! / Indie Rock Pete: I'm a hipster, not a hippie. There's a difference! / Indie Rock Pete: Hippies are dirty, hipsters are ironically dirty. / Indie Rock Pete: Hippies are dirty to feel closer to the Earth. / Indie Rock Pete: Hipsters are dirty to seem further from their parents' money. / Metal Steve: Now I get it! They stink, but you suck.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1671
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {title: No Young Adult Left Behind} / [Indy Rocker Pete and Metal Steve are talking] / Metal Steve: You need money and think you're smarter than everyone else ... / Metal Steve: Why not combine those "talents"? Go into teaching! / [Indy Rocker Pete is shown getting a light bulb in both panels of his Nintendo DS] / Indy Rocker Pete: I'll become a substitute teacher and change the system from within! / [Imaginary Sequence: Indy Rocker Pete as a teacher, wearing a shirt and tie, with the words "Mr. Weiner" written on the blackboard] / Mr. Weiner (Pete): So...any of you girls eighteen? / [Back to real life] / Indy Rocker Pete: What could possibly go wrong?
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1672
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Lil Sis' and Indie Rock Pete are talking]] / Indie Rock Pete: Good morning! / Lil' Sis': Doppelgänger or spirit posession? / Indie Rock Pete: Huh? / Lil' Sis': You're clean and dressed nicely. / Indie Rock Pete: I'm a teacher! / Lil' Sis': ROFL my LOL and call me ::eyeroll:: / Indie Rock Pete: I'm serious. / Lil' Sis': No, you're doomed. / Lil' Sis': High school students can smell losers from a kil-LAME-meter away! / Lil' Sis': They'll eat you alive! Not in a sexy way! / Indie Rock Pete: My last name is "Weiner". / Indie Rock Pete: I grew up in New Jersey. / Indie Rock Pete: I was the only Jewish kid in a Catholic school. / Indie Rock Pete: I think I can handle a classroom of generation Y-holes. / {{Indie Rock Pete's hair bursts into angry, smoldering flames}} / Indie Rock Pete: Now take your seat. / Indie Rock Pete: Now
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1673
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic [[Pete points to chalkboard which reads "Mr. Weiner"]] / Indy Rock Pete: My name is Mr. Weiner and I will be your substitute teacher. / Indy Rock Pete: Today I am your God. / [[Apples on desk in background]] / Indy Rock Pete: But I am a vengeful, jealous God. / [[Flames in background]] / Indy Rock Pete: You will have no Gods before me! / Indy Rock Pete: Except on Multicultural Day, when you can have all the Gods you want. / [[Poster on wall with picture of pizza reads '"Pizza Pie" the cheeseburger of Italy!']] / Indy Rock Pete: Also, exotic foods from other lands! / {{title text: Bring your deity to work day}}
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1674
 
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic Pete: I can't believe how rewarding teaching is! / Pete: First I got to assign a ton of homework. / Pete: Then I sent three kids to detention for liking lame bands! / Pete: Then I got a nerd expelled for sticking a blinking circuit board to his locker. / Pete: I even got a girl suspended for dress code violations! / Steve: The dress code violation is useless without pics. / Pete: But the best part is I confiscated drugs with a street value greater than I make all week! / Steve: Wow. / Steve: Learning is fundamentalist.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1675
Diesel Sweeties - Pete's just mad he made the same joke once Metal Steve: I got you a Superbowl card. / Indie Pete: I don't celebrate the Sub-par Bowl. I'm sportsgnostic! / [[Brown card with a picture of a football that reads "I'm just nuts...about balls!"]] / [[Indie Pete looks uncomfortable.]] / IP: "Superbowl" is not a holdiay. / IP: It is merely a conspiracy between beer and tortilla chip companies! / MS: Fine! But don't expect a Valentine!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1676
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{Title: Misandry loves company}} / [[Clango is waving a pink flag with a unicorn on it, captioned "LOL, I'm mythical"]] / Clango: If everyone was as in love as us, we'd be living in the Republic of Unicornia! / Maura: Perhaps it's for the best, then. / Pale Susie: Sigh. / Lil' Sis: Stop setting feminism back fifty years! / Lil' Sis: Girls sigh. Women seize! / Lil' Sis: If you want him back, you have to fight for him! / Lil' Sis: Every time you whine about not having a boyfriend, you're letting the misogynists win!
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1677
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic I feel poopy. / Maybe I need a makeover. / No you don't! That how the man keeps you down. / (Other methods include handcuffs and babies) / Worrying about your looks wastes time better spent becoming smarter and happier! / I believe Levar Burton put it best when he said: / The sexiest makeover is reading a book. / Reverse the polarity of ignorance.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1678
diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic {{title: I LOVE YOU 8-BITS}} / [a Valentine's card with an NES on it is pictured] / Hey, Valentine! / You have no idea how hard it was not to make a joke about asking you to touch my Wii. / (Cripes, I think I just did it by mistake) / [Indy Rocker Pete and Maura are talking] / Pete: Too wordy? / Maura: There's also the matter of cliche. / [a Valentine's card with a 1-up mushroom inside a condom wrapper is pictured] / I packed an extra life. / Wanna visit my mushroom kingdom? / Maura: Not what I'd give a girl I just met. / Pete: Maybe? / Maura: Maybe you should pretend to forget Valentine's Day. / Maura: The trick to staying in a relationship is digging yourself into the shallowest graves possible.
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1679
 

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