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| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Pete: Hello, new girlfriend.
/ Girl: Huh? / Girl: Oh! I know you. You subbed for my fourth-period Latin class. / Girl. You made me spit out my gum! / Girl: I already have a real boyfriend, but you can be my "old boyfriend." / Girl: See you in home room, Mr. Weiner http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1680 |
| trojan man wrote the lesson plan | Pete: Today, we study viral marketing--the herpes of the blogosphere! / Pete: "Viral marketing" is a technique where a company sneakily uses an existing social network to create "buzz" for a product or service.
/ *Definition loosely cribbed from wikipedia / Pete: In other words, they use cooties to get kudos. / Pete: Your homework assignment? / Pete: You all have to wear t-shirts from my band at least once this week. / Pete: Any questions?
/ Student: What if we think your band sucks? / Pete: I'll answer your question with a question! / Pete: Q: How is a virus like a corporation? / Pete: A: You're only as good as your last infection. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1681 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {title: Fursona Non Grata} / [[Pale Suzie and Lil Sis are talking. Pale Suzie is dressed like a zebra]]
/ Pale Suzie: Hello there!
/ Lil Sis: Call security! The were-barcode has escaped! / Pale Suzie: It's me, Suzie! I got my make-over.
/ Lil Sis: Looks to me like an Island of Dr. Moreau-ver. / Pale Suzie: Laught it up, Pink Skin. Humans won't be the dominant species forever!
/ Red Robot (from off-panel): My thoughts exactly. / [Red Robot joins the two in frame]
/ Red Robot: Don't mind me, Fleshlings. Keep fighting amongst yourselves. I'll make sure nobody wins. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1682 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title: APE SHALL NOT KILL DUDE IN APE SUIT}}
/ [[Pale Suzie is dresses in a zebra suit]]
/ Pale Suzie: Robots want to kill us!
/ Lil' Sis: Welcome to the future. / Pale Suzie: Humans and furries need to learn to work together.
/ Lil' Sis: I suppose it's better to be weird than extinct. / Pale Suzie: Does that mean you'll join F.A.P.?
/ Lil' Sis: FAP? / Pale Suzie: F.A.P.!*
/ Pale Suzie: Now let's get you evolvolated!
/ {{Tag: *Furries Against Purrsecution}} / [[Lil' Sis has now changed into a tiger suit.]]
/ Lil' Sis: If it's survival of the fittest, why does it feel like I'm dying inside? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1684 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {title: Rhymes with Grok} / [Indy Rocker Pete sees Lil Sis, dressed up as a furry]
/ Pete: ROFFLEZOMG! You're a furry! I'd say your career of picking on me just 'skritched' to a halt. / [Indy Rocker Pete walks away as he says his line]
/ Lil Sis: What an odd context in which to be judged by the color of my skin.
/ Pete: Ha ha ha ha ha ha / [Barack Obama appears]
/ Barack: Welcome to the team, kid.
/ Lil Sis: Barack 'Teh Win' Obama! / {caption: One autograph later}
/ Barack: If I hear the word 'articulate' one more time, I'm going to scream.
/ Lil Sis: I should be so lucky. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1685 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: In Media Low-Res}} / {{caption: Previously on Diesel Sweeties...}}
/ [[Clango Cyclotron and Lil' Sis. Lil' Sis is wearing a tiger costume.]]
/ Clango: I'm a robot!
/ Lil' Sis: I'm dressed like a tiger! / [[Clango Cyclotron and Lil' Sis, wearing her normal clothes]]
/ Clango: Moments ago, you were a jungle beast. / Clango: Now in the form of a lion's feast!
/ Lil' Sis: Uhh... right. / Clango: What an amazing disguise! I barely recognize you!
/ Lil' Sis: Umm, what color am I in your world? / {{caption: Next time on Diesel Sweeties...}}
/ [[Clango Cyclotron and Lil' Sis. Lil' Sis is wearing a tiger costume.]]
/ Clango: Is Hobbes your first or last name?
/ Lil' Sis: Nickname! I ate the other cubs in my litter. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1689 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{ AN AUDIENCE WITH EMPRESS OCELOT VON SPACE ZEBRA}}
/ [[LIL SIS IS SPEAKING WITH PALE SUZIE. LIL SIS IS NO LONGER IN A TIGER COSTUME, PALE SUZIE IS STILL IN A ZEBRA COSTUME WITH A PINK CAPE]] / LIL SIS: BEING A FURRY IS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.
/ PALE SUZIE: SO YOU QUIT? / LIL SIS: I'M TOO IRONIC TO BE A TRUE FURVERT.
/ PALE SUZIE: TYPICAL PINK-SKIN. / LIL SIS: I'VE GOTTA BE TRUE TO WHO I AM... / LIL SIS: ...A CYNICAL, MIDDLE CLASS WHITE GIRL FROM THE SUBERBS. / LIL SIS: I CAN'T EVEN KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE DURING NORMAL SEX, LET ALONE WHILE ROLE-PLAYING. / [[LIL SIS APPEARS BALD]]
/ PALE SUZIE: I'D SMIRK TOO IF I SAW A SHAVED MONKEY WHEN I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1690 |
| Breaking the Brat | [[Metal Steve and Indie Rock Pete are talking.]] / Steve: If you could meet any famous person, living or dead, who would it be? / Pete: That's easy! Batman! / Steve: I said living or dead, not imaginary!
/ Pete: Batman died once. / Steve: He did not! That was Superman! / Pete: If Batman did die, I bet it would be cooler than when Superman did. / Steve: You have to live before you can die.
/ Pete: Tell that to my dreams. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1691 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Gordon and Lil' Sis have a dialogue]]
/ Gordon: Good day.
/ Lil' Sis: Land sakes alive! An elf in February! / Lil' Sis: Did you see your shadow?
/ Lil' Sis: Will there be six more weeks of Christmas?! / Gordon: Huh?
/ Lil' Sis: Don't be coy, Minty. / [[The background changes to purple]]
/ Gordon: My name isn't "Minty."
/ Lil' Sis: I can smell Santa on you. / [[The background changes to orange; Lil' Sis' clothing changes from green to red ]]
/ Gordon: I'm Gordon!
/ Lil' Sis: He sent you here to test my beliefs. Admit it! / [[The background changes to blue; Lil' Sis' clothing changes back to green]]
/ Gordon: I just need help finding an A.T.M.
/ Lil' Sis: So you can buy me presents? / {{title text: Like a fish needs a yule log}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1692 |
| Mola Ram Credit Union | {{title text: Mola Ram Credit Union}} / Minty: I need to find an ATM.
/ Minty: Do. You. Under. Stand?
/ Minty: Will. You. Help. Me? / [[Minty, Maura, and Lil' Sis stand silently. Maura looks slyly back at Lil' Sis with a smile.]] / [[Smoke emanates from Minty's head.]]
/ Maura: I've got a twenty in my bra.
/ Lil' Sis: And I have a pair of chopsticks. / [[Minty walks away.]]
/ Minty: You people are insane!
/ Maura: Man, I wish! Imagine the medications.
/ Lil' Sis: You could quit drinking! / [[Minty and Red Robot]]
/ Minty: Can you help me find an ATM?
/ Red Robot: You need to make a withdrawal? / Minty: Yeah.
/ Red Robot: Me too. / [[Red Robot plunges his left arm into Minty's chest. Blood surrounds the entry point, near Minty's heart.]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1694 |
| Upton Sinclair is Made of People | [[A plume of smoke rises from a barbecue, on which two burgers are sizzling. Red Robot #C-63 and Lil' Sis stand in the foreground of the scene. Red Robot #C-63 wears an apron with the words "crush the cook" printed on it. Red Robot #C-63 raises his arms.]]
/ Red Robot #C-63: Who's up for another burger?
/ Lil' Sis: My morals say "no," but my metabolism says "gimme"! / [[Lil' Sis holds a burger with a bite taken out of it. Metal Steve has his mouth full.]]
/ Lil' Sis: This meat's so fresh, it deserves a social security number.
/ Metal Steve: The last four digits would spell 'NOSH'! / [[Indie Rock Pete looks at Gordon's hair, which is on a table, gleaming.]]
/ Lil' Sis: I can't believe we thought you were evil.
/ Red Robot #C-63: It's easy to forget that red is the color of hate... and love.
/ Maura Glee: So wise.
/ Metal Steve: So true.
/ Indie Rock Pete: Is this the salad? / [[Red Robot #C-63 wears Gordon's hair on his head. Gordon's hair gleams.]]
/ Red Robot #C-63: Heavens, no. This is my new hat! / [[Red Robot #C-63 raises his arms.]]
/ Maura Glee: It looks smashing!
/ Indie Rock Pete: You mean 'crushing'!
/ Metal Steve: Oh, snap!
/ Red Robot #C-63: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha / {{title text: Upton Sinclair is Made of People}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1695 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: Demeter's Running}} / [[Lil' Sis is interviewing Maura]] / Lil' Sis: I need to do an interview for class. Would you consider yourself a feminist? / Maura: I'm paying for your education instead of buying more shoes. / Li' Sis: I'll mark that as a "yes."
/ Maura: You damn better. / Lil' Sis: State your name for the record:
/ Maura: Maura Demeter Glee. / Lil' Sis: Occupation?
/ Maura: Iraq. / Lil' Sis: I asked what you're willing to do for pay, not what you're paying for against your will! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1698 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: Rated "N" For Nottingham}}
/ [[Persephone "Lil' Sis" Glee is interviewing Maura Demeter Glee]]
/ Lil' Sis: As a feminist, why do you HATE MEN?
/ Maura: Back up the truck, Friar Tuck! / Maura: Do butchers hate cows? / Maura: Do plagiarists hate plays? / Maura: Feminists don't hate men. We simply enjoy them on our own terms. / Lil' Sis: How do you reconcile this philosophy with your career in adult films?
/ Maura: I robbed the rich and gave to them...porn. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1699 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: Kobayashi Maroons (or why I work from home)}} / [[Metal Steve and Clango Cyclotron are talking]]
/ Metal Steve: Traffic sucks! I wish I could BEAM places instead.
/ Clango: Talk about a murderous commute! / Steve: Huh?
/ Clango: How do you think a transporter WORKS? It ain't elfin magic! / Clango [narrating]: First, you walk into a death chamber... where you're annihilated by a high-energy beam.
/ [[three holographic figures stand in a sci-fi chamber]] / Clango [narrating]: Then you're ZAPPED through space like 'must-see TV' and rebuilt from scratch at the other end.
/ [[Starship Enterprise shoots a red beam at a nearby blue planet]]
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1701 |
| diesel sweeties: going commando | [[Metal Steve is talking to Clango]]
/ Metal Steve: I don't see why more people don't work from home. / Metal Steve: Think of the savings in time, gasoline and water coolers. / Clango: In a word: underwear.
/ [[Metal Steve looks contemplative]] / Clango: Not every job can be done in a thong.
/ [[Metal Steve frowns]] / Metal Steve: What about camwhoring? / Clango: You can't feed a family with an Amazon Wishlist.
/ [[Metal Steve looks sad]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1702 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Clango and Indie Rock Pete having a conversation]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: I hate when companies say zhey "care." / Clango: Corporations have feelings too, y'know.
/ Indie Rock Pete: Greed is not a feeling! / Clango: I take it you were in marching band, not debate club.
/ Indie Rock Pete: I ran track. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1703 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: Magna Carwash}} / Clango: Yay! Someone in South Korea is writing a Bill of Rights for robots!
/ Maura: What's next? Will I need consent to use a vibrator? / Maura: Will I need to tip my webserver every time I load a page? / Maura: Is it going to be illegal to use my Wii in public? / Clango: The last one could have been funnier.
/ Maura: You know what right you have? Remaining silent. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1705 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | TITLE: CURDS AND THE WHEY OF A WARRIOR / [[Maura and Clango]] / [[Maura is holding two sticks of butter connected by pixelated paperclips]]
/ M: WHY did I find my expensive organic yak butter in the freezer with a paperclip chain jammed in the ends?
/ C: Butt-chuku! / M: WHAT did you just call me?
/ C: Nothing! Those are my extra-lethal nunchucks! / C: We ninja are sneaky, much like cholesterol! / M: Real ninja don't use nunchucks.
/ C: I'm adapting my style to the times. / M: Adapt to buying your own damn groceries! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1706 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | TITLE: ARMCHAIR ASSASSINS / [[Maura and Clango conversing]] / [[Clango is using his laptop computer]]
/ M: Told you so.
/ C: By the Hefner-esque robe of Master Splinter! / [[Clango is holding his but-chuku]]
/ M: Did you at least GOOGLE "ninjitsu" before dedicating your life to it?
/ C: I could have sworn ninjas used nunchucks. / C: I can't believe Michaelangelo lied to me like this. / M: Don't have a cowabunga, dude.
/ [[Clango winces]] / M: I've been waiting to say that since 1989! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1707 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title: Mostly he just posts pictures of cupcakes that looks like Ace Frehley}} / [[Metal Steve and Indie Rock Pete are talking. Metal Steve looks happy.]]
/ Metal Steve: I got a blog!
/ Indie Rock Pete: So what? You don't hear me bragging about my cold sores. / [[Metal Steve looks surprised, and a bit sad]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: Give a man your ear and he complains for a day. / [[Metal Steve look regretful]]
/ Indie Rock Pete: Teach a man to blog and he kvetches for a lifetime! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1708 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Title: IT BEATS BEING MARKED FOR SECRETION / [[Nipples the Bear and Indie Rock Pete conversing]] / [[Nipples the Bear is visibly sad]]
/ IRP: Nipples the Bear! You look like someone told you Bambi's mom was an inside job. / NtB: My webcomic was deleted from The Wikipedias.
/ IRP: CONGRATULATIONS! / IRP: Your work was deemed unpopular by a bunch of culture-obsessed blognoramuses... / IRP: While also being labeled 'non-notable' by legions of fake-a-demics without anything better to do! / IRP: Hacks offend a few, but real artists piss off EVERYBODY! / NtB: That means a lot to me, Indie Rock Pete.
/ NtB: I had no idea you were a fan! / IRP: EWW! I don't read webcomics anymore. They're too trendy and there's zero quality control. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1709 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | TITLE: DON'T HATE THE PLATELETS, HATE THE GAMETE / [[Metal Steve and Red Robot conversing]]
/ MS: Why aren't there any girl robots? / RR: Why aren't there any metal hu-mans? (You don't count) / RR: Gender is an outdated, inefficient concept! A waste of engineering resources. / RR: You hu-mans can KEEP your hardwired differences. / RR: We robots simply build ONE robust platform and do the rest in software. / [[Red Robot is visibly flustered]]
/ MS: Good argument. I'll bi that. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1710 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: Kawaiiveat emptor}}
/ [[OtaKate and Pale Suzie talking]]
/ OtaKate: New friend from internet!
/ Pale Suzie: Tomato Princess? / Pale Suzie: I'm confused. Your shirt is bulging, not your pants. / OtaKate: Ugh, this happens every time I run a personal ad! / [[Personal ad on gregslist]]
/ Tomato Princess looking for her Pretz Charming
/ Reply to: hime_FF6347@gregslist.borg
/ Date: 03-07, 2:38AM EST
/ Fun-loving female anime fan l@@king for a real cosplaya who (along with enough DVDs and Pocky) can keep me up all night long!.
/ Are you sick of games without dice or hit points? Let's roll up to be a single star in the sky.
/ NO DRAGONBALL-Z OR HARRY POTTER FANS SRSLY / [[OtaKate and Pale Suzie talking]]
/ Pale Suzie: It's the Internet! I assumed you were a guy roleplaying as a schoolgirl. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1711 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Blue Girl: I can't believe you thought I was a man.
/ Black Girl: Pick a more girly font next time1 / Black Girl: In online dating, you are what you type-LOLs and all. / Black Girl: [serif font] Boys claim to be interested in your content, but most are afraid to date a woman with serifs. / Black Girl: [sans serif font] The moment you throw your [fat]weights[/fat] around, men only see you as a [fat,italic]friend. / Black Girl: [strange font] The sad truth is cuteness will still take you further than proper kerning. / Blue Girl: [fat, all caps] THERE IS NOT A CAPS LOCK KEY LOUD ENOUGH FOR JUST HOW [red]WRONG[/red] you are. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1712 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic : THREE APPLES HIGH, NONE FELL FAR FROM THE TREE | [[2 guys in a group are talking about 2 girls in a group]]
/ Guy 1: FROM THE BACK, SHE LOOKS LIKE SMURFETTE WITH HER FACE SHOT OFF.
/ Guy 1: BUT HOTTER.
/ Girl 2 (to Girl 1): I'D FIX YOU UP, BUT THE GUYS AROUND HERE AREN'T EXACTLY *PRIZES*. / Guy 2: WHY WOULD ANYONE SHOOT A SMURF?!
/ Guy 1: I TAKE IT YOU NEVER WATCHED THE SHOW.
/ Girl 1 (with blue hair): WHATEVER! MOST PEOPLE WHO WIN THE LOTTERY DIE BROKE.
/ Girl 2: TRUST ME, IT'S WORSE TO HAVE AND LOSE THAN NEVER TO HAVE AT ALL. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1714 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Ah, E-stalking.
/ 50% creepier than regular stalking... / ...But also 100% more effective! / Can't argue with results!
/ Or blue hair.
/ Or the one girl in town who doesn't hate me yet. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1715 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title: Autonomically Correct}} / Metal Steve: Is it fun being a robot?
/ Red Robot: Define 'fun'. / Red Robot: There IS a certain satisfaction that comes with innate superiority. / Red Robot: I am the pinnacle of technological innovation! / Red Robot: Millions of your pathetic 'man hours' were spent making me your better in every way. / Red Robot: Japanese vending machines are jealous of me. / Metal Steve: I've got a ding-dong!
/ Red Robot: I have a dong for every day of the week! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1716 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title: Her Science Is As Accurate As His Personal Ad}} / Lil' Sis: [[To Indie Rock Pete]] You picked up a girl on the internet? Eww = MC^2 / Lil' Sis: The internet is electricity. / Lil' Sis: Electrons can move at the speed of light. / Lil' Sis: As an object nears the speed of light, its mass increases exponentially. / Lil' Sis: Therefore, 'picking someone up' on the internet would require an almost infinite amount of energy! / Lil' Sis: It ain't worth the effort. Just go to a bar. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1717 |
| Diesel Sweeties: The Phantom of the Browser | The Internet is a hole you pour your friends into in exchange for a never-ending stream of kitten photos and porn. / Of course that's quite a bargain, for some of us. / All the buddy icons in the world can't make up for a face like yours. / Spoken like a true scaredy-brat used to getting her way by being attractive. / You know what I like about the Internet? / You can't photoshop a personality. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1718 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Boy: You're pretty, but what are you doing with your life? / Girl: Not you, for one thing.
/ Girl: I'm a student. / Boy: Is that a job or an excuse? / Girl: It means I have all the frustrations of a real job, but none of the pay. / Boy: Or any of the direction.
/ Girl: 'Direction' is for people who don't have deadlines. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1719 |
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