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| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Comic Title: Oedipus Complex Carbohydrates}} / [[Clango stands facing Johnny Toaster. Johnny Toaster apparently has some toast in him and a grey question mark above him]]
/ Clango: Yo, Johnny Toaster. What's leavenin'?
/ Clango: Ooh, a crispy riddle! / [[Cut scene to Egyptian sphinx]]
/ Johnny Toaster: What goes on four legs in the morning, on two at noon, and on three legs in the evening? / [[Clango is still standing facing Johnny Toaster. Johnny Toaster is on fire and smoking.]]
/ Clango: Hmm...I want to say 'male prostitute,' but the order's all wrong. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1720 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Indie Rock Pete: I don't get why people are so into zombies.
/ Clango: They're less pretentious than vampires? / Indie Rock Pete: Monkeys, pirates, and ninja I can understand. Those are cool concepts. / Indie Rock Pete: I can see the fun in playing with a monkey. / Indie Rock Pete: Or making out with a pirate lass. / Indie Rock Pete: Or respecting the real ultimate power of ninja. / Indie Rock Pete: Zombies are mindless, joyless, stumbling horrors. Are our aspirations so meager? Are all our dreams dead?
/ Metal Steve: Hey guys! I just got my second myspace friend! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1723 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{title text: Sweaty code is sad code}}
/ [[Charles and Lil' Sis talking]]
/ Lil' Sis: Why do you sleep in your kitchen? Does using your recycle bin as a pillow make you feel closer to the earth? / Charles: My bedroom's too hot for sleeping.
/ Lil' Sis: I bet you get your best work done in there / Charles: It can get... intense.
/ Lil' Sis: Show me. / [[Charles leads Lil' Sis to three racks of computers]]
/ Charles: The servers make a dry heat, but it can get pretty steamy when I'm coding. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1729 |
| where there's smoke, there's fiery furnaces | Pete: Happy 1/5, you dirty hippies!
/ Vegan girl: You have obviously neither sniffed me nor looked at a calendar recently. / Vegan girl: January fifth was months ago.
/ Hippy friend: Today's 4/20! / Pete: 4/20 = 1/5 Get it? I was wryly commenting on how drug humor is the lowest common denominator. / Vegan girl: No, that's violence.
/ Hippy friend: Allow us to demonstrate. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1730 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Lame puns, over and over. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1732 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title: Internet: Threat or Menace?}} / Kate: Guess who has a bootleg of the new Spider-Man movie?
/ Pete: Is the answer "Batman?" / Kate: A hacker is me! I got the Japanese version before the U.S. release.
/ Pete: Wow. You're more prepared than Batman! / Kate: Wanna come over and watch it?
/ Pete: How'd you get a TV in prison? / [[American flag waves in background]]
/ Kate: It is my patriotic duty to download things which are not legally available in America. / Kate: With great upload ratio comes great piracy! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1733 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title of strip: "Obscurity Hates Company"}}
/ Indie Rock Pete: I hate music downloads. / Indie Rock Pete: That stupid Google-Farking nonsense is ruining EVERYTHING! / Indie Rock Pete: I used to be able to enjoy weird bands, safe in the knowledge that no one else did. / Indie Rock Pete: If I bought a copy of something rare, I was making it even harder for others to get. / Indie Rock Pete: Now, scarcity ITSELF is scarce! That scares me. / Indie Rock Pete: If good things are easy to get, how will I know what to hate? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1735 |
| Diesel Sweeties # 1736: Push It Real Good | [[Indie Rock Pete is depressed; Clango is happily playing with Roger the cat]] / Pete: Clango, how do you DO IT?
/ Clango: Rubbery attachments! / Pete: No, why can't problems keep you down?
/ Clango: Two words: Gyroscopic Rump. / Pete: How is it you never stay mad or depressed?
/ Clango: Since unplugging my keyboard, I've got no buttons to push. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1736 |
| Diesel Sweeties # 1737: GLIESE 581 C-YA AROUND, SUCKERS | [[Clango reading newspaper]]
/ Clango: SWEET MOTHER OF BLOG! There's a planet outside our solar system which might support life!
/ Maura: Of course I learn this the week AFTER I buy a hybrid. / Clango: I wonder how long until people star fighting over it? / Clango: I bet it's less than five business days after the creation of warp drive.
/ Maura: Ha! / Maura: You think we're gonna wait till we can GET there to kill for it? / Maura: Ever heard of a little place called "Heaven"? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1737 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Li'l Sis: You know what really burns my carbs?
/ Clango: Forced labor? / Clango: Injustice? Inequality? / Clango: The use of "Terror" in place of the name of an enemy? / Li'l Sis: I hate photos of animals with poorly written captions! / [[Picture of cat that looks like Adolf Hitler with caption]]
/ Caption: UR RHINELAND IS TEH MINELAND / Lil' Sis: How will cats ever get good jobs if we don't hold them to a higher standard? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1738 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Principal: Mister Weiner.
/ Pete: Principal Tyrell! / Pete: Your mustache is looking very authoritarian today, sir! / Principal: I was speaking to one of our students about you, Weiner. / Principal: One of our more nubile Seniors, to be exact. / Principal: She had a lot to say about your grasp of the law. / [[Pete smiles nervously]] / Principal: Would you like to be advisor of the Barely Legal Debate Team? / Principal: Sorry to ask on suck short notice, but the teacher who named the team..."resigned".
/ [[attractive senior girl enters panel from the right]] / {{title text: smiles are the curtains on the windows of fear}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1739 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Comic title: "Livejournal Lothario" Didn't Fit In The Balloon}} / [[A girl and Indie Rock Pete talk in front of green lockers]]
/ Girl: Hiiiiiii, Mister Weiner.
/ Indie Rock Pete: You Last.fm lolita! / Indie Rock Pete: You Myspace minx!
/ Indie Rock Pete: You said you were in college! / Girl: I SAID I was taking advanced lit for college CREDIT. / Girl: You need to listen better.
/ Indie Rock Pete: You're gonna get me fired! / Girl: EWW! I'm not gonna kiss you.
/ Indie Rock Pete: Yeah, but all it takes is a rumor. / [[The previously green lockers take on a red hue.]]
/ Girl: Good point. / [[Clango and Indie Rock Pete stand talking.]]
/ Clango: How was school today?
/ Indie Rock Pete: I never thought I'd long for the days when the women I met online were secretly MEN. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1740 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | PETER HAS A GIRL-FRIEND! SHE'S IN HIGH SCHOOL!
/ SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! / HOW MANY WEE WEINER-BERGERS ARE YOU PLANNING TO COOK UP?
/ NONE! I'M A VEGAN AND SHE'S TOO YOUNG. / YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING-
/ "THOSE WHO CANNOT DO, TEACH." / IT'S BEEN UPDATED TO-
/ "THOSE WHO TEACH SHOULDN'T DO." http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1741 |
| Home Taping is Killing Profits | {{title text: Home Taping Is Killing Profits}}
/ [[Electron Mike's place. Red Robot is wearing a Copyright Police hat and a tie. Mike is in front of his computer.]]
/ Red Robot #C-63: Copyright police! Hands off the mouse! No sudden clicks!
/ Red Robot: You're under arrest, Osama .bin Loader!
/ Electron Mike: Downloading is a victimless crime!
/ Red Robot: Yeah, but so is murder.
/ Electron Mike: No, it isn't!
/ Red Robot: It is if they never find your body. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1742 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title: Kill Me Three Times, Shame on Rasputin}} / [[Red Robot is wearing a policeman's cap with a copyright symbol.]]
/ Red Robot: Preparish to perish! (For real this time)
/ Electron Mike: Wait! / Electron Mike: 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
/ Red Robot: BZZT!
/ [[Red Robot powers down; his eyes go dark.]] / < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1744 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Comic title- You, Tubular}} / [[Clango and Electron Mike stand talking.]]
/ Clango: If everybody downloaded tv, there would BE no tv!
/ Electron Mike: Typical old media scare tactics. / Electron Mike: Next, you're going to tell me NAPSTER made Michael Jackson's nose fall off. / Electron Mike: Big companies can make hella money online!
/ Electron Mike: It's just a matter of changing with the times. / [[A YouTube video; the screen says, "KILLED YOUR TELEVISION"]] http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1746 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Person 1: "YOU'RE LOOKING TO MEET A NERD. WITH A PENIS. ON THE INTERNET." / Person 1: "YOU MIGHT WANT TO NARROW THAT DOWN A http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1749 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Clango: Hey, Johnny Toaster! What do you think of the big Transformers movie coming out this summer?
/ [[Johnny Toaster gets up and turns into a tiny robot, to Clango's delight, but then falls over with a < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1751 |
| She Called her Mathe Tutor the Liberace of Fibonacci. | [Maura and Clango are speaking with each other]
/ Maura: My Junk itches.
/ Clango: Maybe it doesn't appreciate being called "junk". / Maura: If my genitals had standards, I think I'd know. / Maura: I guess it's time to visit Dr. Lady.
/ Clango: The lady doctor? / Maura: Doctor Lady!
/ Clango: The lady doctor? / Maura: Dr. Martin Lady, OB/GYN. The Elvis of Pelvis. / Maura: Checking out women isn't just his passion, it's his job. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1752 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Electron Mike: Hey! Are you guys talking about time travel? / Indie Rock Pete: We WERE, but you missed it.
/ Mike: [[looking disappointed]] Oh. / Pete: Come back when it's the past and we'll be THRILLED to listen to you.
/ [[Mike leaves]] / Ota-kate: That was certainly mean. / Pete: I could make Karl Rove cry on election night.
/ [[Kate gives Pete a death glare]]
/ Pete: Did I just create an alternate timeline where you won't kiss me? http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1754 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE GUYS AROUND HERE.
/ I'M TELLING YOU, THE PICKLE BARREL IS MOSTLY BRINE. / EH, WHADDAYA GONNA DO?
/ SADLY, NOT YOU. / NOT WIRED FOR WOMEN, ARE YA?
/ CAN'T HELP IT. I'M ALL POLE / ARE YOU BEING RACIST OR SEXIST?
/ REALIST. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1755 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Title of strip: "The RIAA Can Slurp My RNA... Eh?"}}
/ Indie Rock Pete: Stealing music on the Internet can get you more prison time than shoplifting a physical album from a store.
/ Lil' Sis: That's one way to make kids exercise! / Lil' Sis: I bet it's because Internet piracy is self-replicating. / Lil' Sis: Each uploaded copy has the ability to become a MILLION downloaded copies. / Indie Rock Pete: By that logic, stealing a genetic sample would be a worse crime than kidnapping a baby!
/ Lil' Sis: Spoken like a man who hasn't had his DNA sampled recently. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1764 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Pete: Red Robot, you're the only one who understands me.
/ Red Robot: Hah! Perhaps in the way a farmer "understands" his chickens. / Red Robot: Or how a twinkie resembles food. / Red Robot: You act superior to other hu-mans, but deep down you care what they think. / Reb Robot: I transcend elitism by embracing Darwinism. / Pete: My life is meaningless.
/ Red Robot: Mine's not because yours is. / {{title text: Robots and pity are like Batman and guns}} http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1780 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | {{Guest comic by Meghan Murphy- www.kawaiinot.com}} / [[Red Robot stands holding a black cat in his arms]]
/ Red Robot: Join me Purr-Unit. / Red Robot: We could be the perfect team..
/ Red Robot: Super robot kitty.
/ Red Robot: RAMPAGE!!! / [[The black cat scratches Red Robot's chest.]]
/ < http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1783 |
| Guest Comics 2007: Chris Crosby | Indie rock Pete: You're a robot, right?
/ Clango: If I'm right, I don't wanna be wrong! / Indie rock Pete: If a company offered you money to make tiny toy duplicates of yourself for them to sell, much like in "Short circut 2", would you do it? / Clango: I'd have to think about th-- YES. / Indie rock Pete: Sell-out! That's almost like selling your children into slavery.
/ Clango: "Almost"?! It's exactly like that! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1786 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Red Robot is reading the paper]] Red Robot: Hey I am in papers what the juice
/ [["Our" Stevens is drawing with lots of money behnd him]] "Our" Stevens: Heh heh LOLZ
/ Red: That scruffy oaf is making tall cash from my life
/ Red: Have a shave... [[Stevens looks angry]] Red: ...You communist
/ [[Red is meeting with Wink the Ghost and Spummy the Mummy]] Red: Ok this is a crisis meeting to punish "Our" Stevens. Suggestions? / Wink: Pickles / Spummy: Buy him a cake
/ Red: So much for the noho brains trust!!!
/ Red: I feel both exploited and dirty / Clango: Hey Red Robot!
/ Clango: What's eatin ya, pal?
/ Red: I long to destroy "Our" Stevens / Clango: Me too!
/ {{Soon...}} [[Stevens is holding a flyer marked "New! Apple Hair Shirt. Shirts. Reinvented", with a drawing of a shirt made of hair marked with the Apple logo]]
/ [[Stevens is wearing the shirt from the flyer and itching painfully. Red and Clango stand disguised at a desk that reads "Genius Bar"]] Stevens: I... love... it... http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1787 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | Indy Rock Pete: So I tell her 'it's anus not ani.'
/ Clango: I'm labeling this conversation as unethical. / Indy Rock Pete: If by 'unethical' you mean 'girls don't understand being part of a team' then that's my point exactly. / [[Clango leans in to kiss Pete]]
/ Indy Rock Pete: ...what...what are you doing? / [[Indy Rock Pete and Clango float sideways while kissing]] / [[Pale Suzie dances, Electron Mike takes his shirt off while running, Ota-Kate and Little Sister make out, Jon Stamos the cat licks Johnny Toaster, Charles and Nipples the Bear kiss upside-down Spiderman style, in foreground, Maura and Red Robot make out]] / Off panel: How's the guest comic going, Erika?
/ Erika: Wheeeee! http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1789 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Red Robot and Clango are animated like Animal Crossing Wild World. Clango is sleeping. Dialogue appears at the bottom of each panel, as it is in the game]] Clango: Zzz...
/ Red Robot: Hey! / Clango: [[waking up]] Zuh?
/ Clango: What?
/ [[Clango looks down and notices that he's wearing a ridiculous shirt]] Clango: Great guns of Navarone! I've been pimped! / Red: In both senses of the phrase.
/ Red: You look like you run on a starchy dietary staple, if you get this unit's drift. / Clango: Stop that.
/ Clango: I'd ask who was creepin' while I was sleepin', but I bet I already know the answer to that.
/ Red: Let's just say this unit believes magic markers are insufficient for race traitors. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1790 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | [[Clango and Maura stand facing eachother, side by side]] / Clango: Vanilla Ice is holding a seminar on teamwork in Portugal! Guess what it's called? / Clango: Stop! Collaborate! In Lisbon.
/ Maura: Ouch. / Clango: I've got an even better one. / Clango: What did the robber shout at his victims while holding up a wet t-shirt contest? / Clango: "No sodden moves!"
/ [[Maura cringes]]
/ Maura: Argh! / Clango: Just one more! What do you call it when a famous, middle-aged physicist marries a hot grad student? / Clango: An entropy wife! / Clango: Comedy is one part novelty, three parts persistence.
/ Maura: Dating a "comedian" is one part hilarity, nine parts patience. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1800 |
| diesel sweeties: pixelated robot romance web comic | boy: MY LOVE LIFE IS LIKE THE SETI PROJECT.
/ [[* THE SEARCH FOR EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL INTELLIGENCE. (SETI.ORG)]] / girl1: SORRY, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. / girl2: SORRY, I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. / girl3: SORRY, I HAVE A WAITING LIST. / girl4: SORRY, I HAVE STANDARDS. / girl5: SORRY, I HAVEN'T GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL. / boy: LOTS OF SIGNALS, NO PHYSICAL CONTACT EVENTS. http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1801 |
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