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Number One: Employment Sucks {{Title: Number One: Employment Sucks}} / Martin: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day? / Martin: It sucked. I hate my job. / Martin: After 8 hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his...
Number One: Employment Sucks [[Marten's t-shirt: says "Teh"]] / Marten: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day? / Marten: It sucked. I hate my job. / Marten: After 8 hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life....
Number One: Employment Sucks Marten: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day? / Marten: It sucked. I hate my job. / Marten: After 8 hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing eith idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life. I wish I knew what would cheer...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday Marten: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day? / Marten: It sucked. I hate my job. / Marten: After eight hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life. I wish I knew what would...
Number One: Employment Sucks Maten: hey Pintsize. I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day? / Marten: it sucked. I hate my job. / Marten: After 8 hours of sending faxes, likcing envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life I wish I knew what would cheer...
#1: Employment Sucks Panel 1 / Marten: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Panel 2 / Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day? / Marten: It sucked. I hate my job. / Panel 3 / Marten: After 8 hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life. I...
Employment Sucks Marten: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad. / Pintsize: How was your day? / Marten: It sucked. I hate my job. / Marten: After 8 hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life. / Marten: I wish I...
Number Two: While You Were Out... {{Title: Number Two: While You Were Out...}} / Martin: I'm going out to the bar. I should be back in a couple hours. / Pintsize: What should I do while you're gone? / Martin: Well what do you usually do when I'm not home? / Pintsize: Sometimes I calculate prime numbers, but usually I just run the SETI...
Number Two: While You Were Out... Panel 1 / Marten: I'm going out to the bar. I should be back in a couple hours. / Pintsize: What should I do while you're gone? / Panel 2 / Marten: Well what do you usually do when I'm not home? / Pintsize: Sometimes I calculate prime numbers, but usually I just run the SETI screensaver until I get sleepy...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{ Number Two: While You Were Out... }} / Marten: I'm going out to the bar. I should be back in a couple hours. / Pintsize: What should I do while you're gone? / Marten: Well what do you usually do when I'm not home? / Pintsize: Sometimes I calculate prime numbers, but usually I just run the SETI screensaver...
Number Three: True Professionals {{Title: Number Three: True Professionals}} / Steve: Dude, if you hate your job so much why don't you just quit? / Martin: I dunno... / Martin: Any other place willing to hire me would probably suck just as much. I don't know what I want to do for a living, I don't want to go back to school, and even...
Number 3: True Professionals [In the pub] / Steve: Dude, if you hate your job so much, why don't you just quit? / Marten: I dunno... / Marten: Any other place willing to hire me would probably suck just as much. I don't know what I want to do for a living. I don't want to go back to school, and even if I did want to I don't know...
Number Four: Faye Cuts to the Chase {{Title: Number Four: Faye Cuts to the Chase}} / Faye: So, why DO you indie boys never work up the guts to talk to girls? / Marten: ...guh? / Faye: It sounds like you're only capable of stuttering unintelligibly right now, so I'll explain myself. My name's Faye, and I'm new in town. I don't have any...
Number 4: Faye Cuts to the Chase Panel 1 / Faye: So, why DO you indie boys never work up the guts to talk to girls? / Marten: ...guh? / Panel 2 / Faye: It sounds like you're only capable of stuttering unintelligibly right now, so I'll explain myself. My name's Faye, and I'm new in town. I don't have any friends here yet, so I was wondering...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{ Number Four: Faye Cuts to the Chase }} / Faye: So why DO you indie boys never work up the guts to talk to girls? / Marten: ...guh? / Faye: It sounds like you're only capable of stuttering unintelligibly right now, so I'll explain myself. My name's Faye, and I'm new in town. I don't have any friends...
Number Five: Chicks Dig Disc Drives {{Title: Number Five: Chicks Dig Disc Drives}} / Marten: So, uh, this is my place. You have ten seconds to guess my favorite color. Here's a hint: It is the favorite color of depressed people! / Faye: Haha, gee could it be blue? / Faye: Ooh, you have an AnthroPC! He's so cute! What's your name little...
Number 5: Chicks Dig Disk Drives PANEL 1 / Marten:So, uh, this is my place. You have ten seconds to guess my favorite color. / Steve: Here's a hint: It is the favorite color of depressed people! / Faye: Haha, gee could it be... blue? / PANEL 2 / Faye: Ooh, you have an AnthroPC! He's so cute! What's your name, little guy? / Pintsize: I'm...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{ Number Five: Chicks Dig Disc Drives }} / Marten: So, uh, this is my place. You have ten seconds to guess my favorite color. / Steve (off-panel): Here's a hint: It is the favorite color of depressed people! / Faye: Haha, gee could it be... blue? / Faye: Ooh, you have an AnthroPC! He's so cute! What's...
 
Number 6: The Hazards of Internal Monologue Panel 1 / Marten: Holy crap, there's a hot girl in my apartment. Been a while since THAT'S happened. Of course she's not interested in me, but hey what can you do... / Panel 2 / Faye: You can get me a glass of water is what you can do. / Marten: Gah! I uh duh buh YES WATER RIGHT / Panel 3 / Marten: Oh...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{ Number Six: The Hazards of Internal Monologue }} / [[ Marten in kitchen facing open refrigerator ]] / Marten: Holy crap, there's a hot girl in my apartment. Been a while since THAT'S happened. Of course, she's not interested in me, but hey what can you do... / [[ Faye behind Marten at entrance to...
Questionable Content Number 7: Indie Bonding / TRANSCRIPT: / PANEL 1 / Faye: I like this song. Who is this? / Marten: Enon. The guy for Brainiac's new band. / Steve: I will destroy you at this game! / PANEL 2 / Faye: Ah, out comes the indie cred. / Marten: No, no, I'm just a music nerd, not some elitist hipster jerk. / Steve:...
Number 8: Sexy Ports PANEL 1 / Faye: I had fun tonight. We should do this again sometime. / Steve: You're welcome to hang out anytime. / Marten: 'Night, kids. / PANEL 2 / Pintsize: Fay is nice. Is she going to be your girlfriend now? / Marten: Heh. No, she said she wasn't interested. / PANEL 3 / Pintsize: I'm sorry. You look...
Number Nine: Two Ships Passing In Broad Daylight PANEL 1 / Marten: Two extra-large mochas, please. / Sara: Need the caffeine, huh? That'll be $7.50. / PANEL 2 / Sara: (thinking) This guy's pretty cute. Rockin' the starving emo boy look. I bet he gets all the girls. / PANEL 3 / Marten: (thinking) Jesus, she's cute. Rockin' the fashionable without being...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday Faye: Hi Sara, sorry I'm late. Has it been busy? / Sara: Nah, just the usual Saturday crowd... / Faye: Uh oh, sounds like that BOY you've been lusting for was in again. / Sara: Yeah, he was. And I didn't have the guts to ask him out, either. / Faye: Why don't you just talk to him? / Sara: I dunno,...
Coffeeshop Lust PANEL 1 / Faye: Hi Sara, sorry I'm late. Has it been busy? / Sara: Nah, just the usual Saturday crowd... / PANEL 2 / Faye: Uh oh, sounds like that BOY you've been lusting for was in again. / Sara: Yeah, he was. And I didn't have the guts to ask him out, either. / PANEL 3 / Faye: Why don't you...
Number Ten: Coffeeshop Lust Faye: Hi Sara, sorry I'm late. Has it been busy? / Sara: Nah, just the usual Saturday crowd... <> / Faye: Uh oh, sounds like that BOY you've been lusting for was in again. / Sara: Yeah, he was. And I didn't have the guts to ask him out, either. / Faye: Why do't you just talk to him? / Sara: I...
 
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday Marten: What am I doing with my life? / Pintsize: Well, right now you're watching Cartoon Network and moping, just like you do every Saturday afternoon. / Marten: No, I mean what's the point? Why do I get to go to a job I hate five days a week only to spend every weekend dreading the coming monday? / Pintsize:...
Number Eleven: The Wrong Thing At The Wrong Time PANEL 1 / Marten: What am I doing with my life? / Pintsize: Well, right now you're watching Cartoon Network and moping, just like you do every Saturday afternoon. / PANEL 2 / Marten: No, I mean what's the point? Why do I get to go to a job I hate five days a week only to spend every weekend dreading the...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Marten is at home, wearing a "TEH" t-shirt]] / <> / [[Marten opens the door, finding Faye standing there]] / Marten: Oh, hi Faye- / Faye: I am bored and ravenous. Come have dinner with me. / [[They walk on the street together, when Faye's cellphone starts ringing]] / <> / Faye:...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday TITLE BAR: Number Twelve: In The Interest Of Faye's Safety / PANEL 1 / [sound] Knock, Knock,Knock / PANEL 2 / [Marten] Oh, hi Faye. / [Faye] I am bored and ravenous. Come have dinner with me. / PANEL 3 / [Faye] Woops, cell phone. / [sound] ring,ring,ring / PANEL 4 / [Faye] Hello? Oh, hey mom. Nothing...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Marten and Faye are walking the street, Marten wearing a "TEH" t-shirt, Faye wearing a white tank top. They are walking by some shop, which has following signs in its display window: "BUY SOME CRAP!" and "Merchandise is certainly for sale here!". Shop door has a "CLOSED" sign on it.]] / Faye: Hey, wanna...
Number Thirteen: Achtung Nippel PANEL 1 / Faye: Hey, wanna see my patented method for getting someone's attention? / [[Signs: BUY SOME CRAP! / Merchandise is... certainly... sale here!]] / PANEL 2 / Marten: Okay, sure. / PANEL 3 / [[Faye pinches Marten's nipple]] / Marten: OW! / PANEL 4 / Marten: Jesus Christ, whatever happened to a gentle...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Marten and Faye are walking the street. Marten has his "TEH" t-shirt, Faye is in her white tank top.]] / Faye: So, where are we going to eat? / Marten: Have you ever been to the Irony Cafe? It's really good. / Marten: They advertise as a "vegan" restaurant but serve steak and hamburgers. / Faye: That...
Number Fourteen: Vegan Beef PANEL 1 / Faye: So, where are we going to eat? / PANEL 2 / Marten: Have you ever been to the Irony Cafe? It's really good. / PANEL 3 / Marten: They advertise as a "vegan" restaurant but serve steak and hamburgers. / Faye: That is both amazing and brilliant. / PANEL 4 / Marten: You should see the horrified...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Inside the Ironic Cafe restaurant. Waitress is ready to take customer's order.]] / Customer: I can't believe you people serve lobster here! Boiling them alive in their shells... it's cruel and disgusting! / [[Waitress walks away.]] / Customer: That's right, walk away you filthy animal torturer! Go free...
Number Fifteen: More Vegan Humor PANEL 1 / Customer: I can't believe you people serve lobster here! Boiling them alive in their shells... it's cruel and disgusting! / PANEL 2 / Customer: That's right, walk away you filthy animal torturer! Go free those innocent animals that you are exploiting! / PANEL 3 / Waitress: Here, I freed this...
 
Questionable Content {{title text: Number Sixteen: You're Ruining The Moment}} / Narrator: Questionable Content Presents: / Narrator: The Four Types of Annoying Concert-Goers / Narrator: The Fashion Whore / [[The Fashion Whore has black hair, black eyebrows, and a black goatee, and wears black sunglasses and a dark brown...
Questionable Content: New Comics every Monday through Friday Title Bar: 16: You're Ruining the Moment / Panel 1 / Announcer : Questionable Content Presents The Four Types of Annoying Concert-Goers / Panel 2 / The Fashion Whore: I'd dance, but it would ruin my perfectly-tousled hair. / Panel 3 / The Chatterboxes : Oh my God so she was like totally cheating...
Number Seventeen: The Horror PANEL 1 / Faye: You know what I really hate? / Martin: Mm? / PANEL 2 / Faye: When you're pooping and it burns and you know you'll have to wipe like 40 times to get clean. / PANEL 3 / <> / PANEL 4 / [[Marten looks ill while Faye smirks]]
Number Eighteen: Children Do Not Belong There Faye: Whoo, I am STUFFED. / Marten: I was doing well, until you started talking about pooping and your butt and stuff. / Faye: Oh don't be such a wimp. Besides, guys are totally obsessed with girls asses anyway. / Marten: How so? / Faye: Look at any hardcore porno flick. 75% of them are like all anal...
Number Nineteen: Better Than A Roll Of Dimes PANEL 1 / Faye: Hey, thanks for having dinner with me. It was really good. / Marten: No problem! I had a good time too. / PANEL 2 / Faye: It's so nice to have a friend in this town to hang out with. / PANEL 3 / [[Faye looks surprised]] / PANEL 4 / Faye: I'm just going to pretend that a roll of quarters...
Number Twenty: Not As Good As Pie PANEL 1 / Marten: Pintsize, I'm home. / / PANEL 2 / Marten: Wha- / Pintsize: I'm eating cake mix! / PANEL 3 / [[Marten in classic thinking position]] / PANEL 4 / Marten: I'm tempted to just put you in the oven and then eat you. / Pintsize: I would be DELICIOUS.
 
Number Twenty-One: The Death Penalty PANEL 1 / Marten: So it turns out he was eating cake mix all night while I was out with Faye. I'm almost done cleaning him out now. / Pintsize: It was delicious but it gave me indigestion. / PANEL 2 / Steve: Come on Pintsize, that's no way to get aHEAD in life. / PANEL 3 / Pintsize: I don't know what came...
Number Twenty-Two: The Most Dangerous Toast PANEL 1 / Marten: Wha? / PANEL 2 / Marten: Faye? What's wrong? / Faye: Marten, can I ask a HUGE favor of you? Could I maybe stay at your place for a little while? My apartment building burned down. / PANEL 3 / Marten: It BURNED DOWN? What happened? / Faye: Well, let's just say that I'm not very good at...
Number Twenty-Three: Instant Hysterics PANEL 1 / Faye: You're sure it's okay that I stay here? I really hate to impose on you. / Marten: Don't worry about it. It's the least I can do. / PANEL 2 / Faye: Heh, my mom would completely lose her shit if she found out I was staying with some boy. / Marten: Better not let her find out then. / PANEL...
Guest Strip Extravanga: Knights of the Old Do It Your Fucking Self PANEL 1 / Marten: Is it just me, or is KotOR a tad overrated? / Steve: How do you mean? / PANEL 2 / Marten: Don't get me wrong - strutting around the galaxy with a lightsaber in each hand is about as pimp as it gets / Steve: Did you just say "pimp"? / Marten: - it's just that everywhere I go people want...
25 : The Look Of Doom PANEL 1 / Faye: Like my new haircut? / Marten: Looks nice. I was wondering where you ran off to. / PANEL 2 / Marten: As for sleeping arrangements, you can have my bed. I'll sleep on the couch. / Faye: No way! You sleep in your bed. I'm being intrusive enough already. / Marten: It's no probem, really. You...
 
Number Twenty-Six: Dress Code PANEL 1 / Faye: So is it just me, or is the concept of "indie cred" completely retarded? / Marten: I know what you mean. / PANEL 2 / Marten: Why should it matter how popular my favorite band is, or whether I bought my jeans at The Gap or the Salvation Army? / PANEL 3 / Faye: You buy clothes from The Gap? / PANEL...
Number Twenty-Seven: No Love For The Emo PANEL 1 / Faye: So if you could beat up any emo band, who would you beat up? / Marten: Oh, definitely the dude from Dashboard Confessional. He seriously needs to stop whining about how some girl dumped him. / PANEL 2 / Marten: I'd also kick Jeremy Enigk's ass for making every Sunny Day Real Estate album...
Number Twenty-Eight: Drama! PANEL 1 / Faye: Thanks again for letting me stay at your place, Marten. / Marten: It's no problem, you can stay as long as you want. / PANEL 2 / Marten: So I'll meet you here at 5:30 and then we'll go grab some dinner, ok? / Faye: Sounds great! / PANEL 3 / Sara: Had a busy weekend, eh? / Faye: Oh man, you...
Number Twenty-Nine: Only Sort Of Relieved PANEL 1 / Sara: I can't believe my luck. It figures that the one boy I have the hots for would be seduced by a coworker. / Faye: Sara, listen to me. I didn't seduce him. / PANEL 2 / Faye: My apartment BURNED DOWN. I'm staying at his place becase I have nowhere else to go and he was kind enough to offer...
Number Thirty: Sudden Realizations PANEL 1 / Sara: Marten? Hi, my name's Sara. I just wanted to get something off my chest. / PANEL 2: / Sara: I've had a crush on you ever since you started coming in here. I was going to finally ask you out tonight, but I was thinking about it today and I realized something. It's not you as a PERSON that...
 

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