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Number 571: Juanita Was His Favorite Faye: Well, off to work I go. / Martyn: Promise you and Dora won't murder each other? / Faye: If I don't get some espresso in me within the next ten minutes I cannot be held responsible for my actions. / Martyn: Fair enough. I'll see you later. / Faye: Hey, Marty...I think I'm gonna go home for a couple...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Marten and Faye's apartment, early morning]] / Faye: Well, off to work I go. / Marten: Promise you and Dora won't murder each other? / Faye: If I don't get some espresso in me within the next ten minutes I cannot be held responsible for my actions. / Marten: Fair enough. I'll see you later. / Faye: Hey...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Dora and Raven are inside the coffee shop]] / Dora: Hmm hmm hmm, laa lee loo / Raven: You're sure in a cheerful mood this morning. / {{Dora is clearly smiling}} / Dora: Marten likes me. I kissed him last night. / Raven: Omigod omigod omigod! Hooray for you! / Raven: Wait, does Faye know? She'll kill...
Questionable Content: Number 572: The Pragmatist {{Number 572: The Pragmatist}} / [[In Coffee of Doom, behind the counter. Dora is drying up and humming.]] / DORA: Hmm hmm hmm, laa lee loo / RAVEN: You're sure in a cheerful mood this morning / DORA: Marten likes me. I kissed him last night. / RAVEN: Omigod omigod omigod! Hooray for you! / RAVEN:...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Marten is sitting in his couch, Pintsize is standing next to him]] / Pintsize: How come you're just slouching around the house today? You usually head over to the coffee shop by now. / Marten: I can't decide whether to go over there or not. / [[Marten stands up from the couch]] / Pintsize: Why? / Marten:...
Questionable Content: Number 573: Just In Case {{Number 573: Just In Case}} / [[Faye and Marten's new apartment. Marten is sitting on the couch, Pintsize is perched on the edge.]] / PINTSIZE: How come you're just slouching around the house today? You usually head over to the coffee shop by now. / MARTEN: I can't decide whether to go over there or...
Questionable Content [[at Coffee of Doom]] / Dora: Howdy Faye. / Faye: Grar. / Dora: Here, I made you a quadruple-espresso latte monstrosity. Figured you'd be tired after last night. / Faye: I'm going to say "grar" again, only this time it is a happy grar. Grar! / Dora: So are we still friends, or did you decide you hate...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{Number 574: A Common Fantasy}} / [[Interior "Coffee of Doom". Faye enters to find Dora behind the counter.]] / [[Some of the blackboard can be read. Specials. Quadruple. Carnivor. .]] / Dore: Howdy Faye. / Faye: Grar. / [[Faye has removed her coat. Faye licks her lips as Dora hands Faye...
Questionable Content Number 575: And the Friedbergers Won a Tony Marten (stooped by the corner of a house): Hey guys. / Steve (with girlfriend): Hey dude! What's up? I got your message, we were about to go get some food. / Ellen: Hi Marten! / Steve: So how are you doin', buddy? Any more earth-shattering revelations from one of your coffee-slinging ladyfriends? / Marten:...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{Number 575: And Then The Friedburgers Won A Tony}} / [[Exterior. Marten sits on the sidewalk as Steve and Ellen walk up. Ellen waves at Marten.]] / Marten: Hey guys. / Steve: Hey dude! What's up? I just got your message, we were about to get some food. / Ellen: Hi Marten! / [[Marten stands. Cell...
 
Questionable Content: Thwarted by the Great Wall [[Coffee Shop of Doom]] / Faye: Blah, five-thirty and still no sign of Marty. This is all your fault. / Dora: My fault? / Faye: If you hadn't been all "MLAH LET'S MAKE KISSES BLAH" he'd be hanging out here like usual. / Dora: I think it's kind of sweet of him. He's just trying to avoid awkwardness, for...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{Number 576: Thwarted By The Great Wall}} / [[Interior: Coffee of Doom. Faye sits behind the counter, leaning forward, her arms crossed on the counter top, and her head resting on her arms. Dora is reclined in a chair, her feet up on the counter top, and her hands behind her head.]] / Faye: Blah,...
The Dallas Cop-Out Oh man, so you get smooched by Dora AND Faye didn't make kebabs out of your man-tackle? / Hell of a win, dude. Hell of a win. / I'm so happy for you! / You totally deserve it. / Yeah I mean it's a little early to dance a jig but it's pretty cool. / Let's go over to Coffee of Doom and celebrate! / Whoa...
577: The Dallas Cop-Out Steve: Oh man, so you get smooched by Dora AND Faye didn't make kebabs out of your man-tackle? Hell of win, dude. Hell of win. / Ellen: I'm so happy for you! You totally deserve it. / Marten: Yeah I mean it's a little early to dance a jig but it's pretty cool. / Ellen: Let's go over to Coffee of Doom...
Number 578: It Was An Accident, He Swears Marten: No way man, I'm telling you. David Bowie's Outside has a depth to it that Nine Inch Nails only ever pretended to possess. / Steve: Whatever. I still say it's Reznor-lite for the yuppie set. / Ellen: I played Ziggy Stardust for the dolphins once. They just started laughing. / Marten: Man...
578: It Was an Accident, He Swears Marten: No way man, I’m telling you. David Bowie’s Outside has a depth to it that Nine Inch Nails only ever pretended to posess. / Steve: Whatever. I still say it’s Reznor-lite for the yuppie set. / Ellen: I played Ziggy Stardust for the dolphins once. They just started laughing. / Marten: Man I hope...
Nice One, Raven Faye: Well, my shift's up. / Dora: When's your flight leaving tomorrow? / Faye: Early, not quite a red-eye, but definitely a pink-eye. / Dora: Make sure you wash your hands then. / Faye: You're sure you can run things here okay while I'm gone? / Dora: We'll have to step up the beatings and intimidation...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday Faye: Well, my shift's up. / Dora: When's your flight leaving tomorrow? / Faye: Early. Not quite a red-eye, but definitely a pink-eye. / Dora: Make sure you wash your hands then. / [[Faye leans on counter]] / Faye: You're sure you can run things here okay while I'm gone? / Dora: We'll have to step up the...
Number 580: Always Stretch Before You Exercise Faye: Hey Marty. Where've you been all evening? / Marten: I went out to dinner with Steve and Ellen and then played video games at Steve's place for a while. / Faye: Well now that you're home I'm going to bed. The taxi's coming hella early tomorrow so you probably won't see me before I leave. / Marten:...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{Title text: Number 580: Always Stretch Before You Exercise}} / [[Faye is sitting on the couch reading, Marten enters]] / Faye: Hey Marty. Where've you been all evening? / Marten: I went out to dinner with Steve and Ellen and then played video games at Steve's place for a while. / [[Faye stands up,...
 
Not Quite Mr. Clean Panel 1: / Faye: Okay, I've got underpants, deodorant, my toothbrush, a fifth of whisky, clean socks... / Marten [[with bags under his eyes]]: Hurry up Faye, the taxi's been honking for like five minutes. / Panel 2: / Faye [[smiling]]: Marten? What are you doing awake? / Marten: I wanted to see you...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday Faye: Okay, I've got underpants, deodorant, my toothbrush, a fifth of whiskey, clean socks... / Marten [[on couch]]: Hurry up, Faye, the taxi's been honiking for like five minutes. / Faye: Marten? What are you doing awake? / Marten: I wanted to see you off, so I got up about half an hour ago. / Faye:...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Raven walks into Coffee of Doom, Dora is holding a coffee cup]] / Raven: Morning Dora! I like your sweater! / Dora: Heh, thanks. I'm hoping the whole "indie librarian" look will put Marten more at ease. / [[Raven sits on counter, Dora crosses her arms across her chest anxiously]] / Raven: You think he'll...
582: Worst Case Scenario Raven: Morning Dora! I like your sweater! / Dora: Heh, thanks. I’m hoping the whole “indie librarian” look will put Marten more at ease. / Raven: You think he’ll come in today? / Dora: I hope so. I really want to get through the whole “crushing self-doubt while I wait for the boy to get back in touch...
583: Commercials Lie Dora: Hey sweetie! I missed you yesterday. / Marten: Hey Dora. I missed you too. / Dora: So Faye’s out of town? / Marten: Yep. I saw her off at like five this morning. / Dora: Any more shocking revelations or last-minute makeouts? / Marten: Huh? No, she just headbutted me. Why do you ask? / Dora: Raven’s...
Commercials Lie [[Marten and Faye are standing inside Coffe of Doom, in front of the window]] / Dora: Hey sweetie! I missed you yesterday. / Marten: Hey Dora. I missed you too. / Dora: So Faye's out of town? / [[Still inside Coffe of Doom, now in front of the specials black board]] / Marten: Yep. I saw her off at like...
Man I Hate Drawing Airports Amanda: Hey sis! How was your flight? / Faye: Hi Amanda. It wasn't too bad, but the guy in front of me kept farting. / Faye: so how's life at home treating you? / Amanda: Augh, it SUCKS. I'm applying to get back into school next semester just so I can get away from mom. / Faye: Is mom still giving you a...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday Amanda: Hey sis! How was your flight? / Faye: Hi Amanda. It wasn't too bad, but the guy in front of me kept farting. / Faye: So how's life at home treating you? / Amanda: Augh, it SUCKS. I'm applying to get back into school next semester just so I can get away from mom. / Faye: Is mom still giving you...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday Oh it's so good to see you again, honey! / Easy, mom, you're gonna break one of my ribs. / And i see you put on some weight since you left! / Mommm! / It's GOOD to see you with a lol' meat on your bones, honey. Means you're not starvin to death up in the frozen wastes. / Here, I made your favorites for...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{Number 585: It's Good To Be Home}} / [[Faye arrives at her mother's house; they hug. A "Bless This Home" sign hangs on the wall.]] / Faye's mom: Oh it's so good to see you again, honey! / Faye: Easy, mom, you're gonna break one of my ribs. / Faye's mom: And I see you put on some weight since you...
 
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday Marten: Who's this on the stereo? / Dora: This is the latest Mastodon album. / Marten: Is he screaming about Moby Dick? / Dora: Totally! You gotta love any metal band that writes songs about Herman Melville novels. / Marten: Man, these guys should go on tour with the Decemberists. Imagine "The Mariner's...
An Unholy Union [[Inside Coffee of Doom]] / Marten: Who's this on the stereo? / Dora: This is the latest Mastodon album. / Marten: Is he screaming about Moby Dick? / Dora: Totally! You gotta love any metal band that writes songs about Herman Melville novels. / Marten: Man, these guys should go on tour with the Decemberists....
Parental Hypocrisy [[Faye is talking to her mother in her house. She is slightly crying.]] / Faye: ... And th-that's the huh-whole story. Now Marty and Dora are to-together and I'm left in the lu-lurch. / Faye's Mother: Oh honey, I knew it was gonna end badly soon as you told me you were livin' with that boy. I'm sorry...
Parental Hypocrisy [[In Faye's home in Georgia, Faye is slightly crying while talking to her mother]] / Faye: ...And th-that's the huh-whole story. Now Marty and Dora are to-together and I'm left in the lu-lurch. / Faye's Mother: Oh honey, I knew it was gonna end badly soon as you told me you were livin' with that boy....
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Fayes Mom]] / Well I'm glad you're gettin' back into therapy, honey. It's what got you back on your feet after that accident. I don't know why you ever stopped goin' in the first place. [[Faye]] Ugh, I dunno. I just wasn't...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{Number 588: Shrinkage}} / [[Faye and her mom walk outside into the backyard]] / Faye's mom: Well I'm glad you're getting' back into therapy, honey. It's what got you back on your feet after that accident. I don't know why you ever stopped goin' in the first place. / Faye: Ugh, I dunno. I just wasn't...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{Number 589: Only God Knows}} / [[In the coffee shop]] / Marten: So, what's the official protocol on me being here? / Dora: Hm? / Marten: I mean, if we're dating now, I don't wanna be hangin' out here all the time, all up in your space if you need more distance than that. / Dora: Oh don't be silly, Marten....
589: Only God Knows Marten: So, what's the official protocol on me being here? / Dora: Hm? / Marten: I mean, if we're dating now, I don't wanna be hangin' out here all the time, all up in your space if you need more distance than that. / Dora: Oh don't be silly, Marten. You can hang out here whenever you want. If I need...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[two AnthroPCs, Pintsize & Winslow, are conversing in Hannelore's spotless apartment]] / Pintsize: ...So now Marten and DORA are going out, and Faye's at home visiting her family. / Winslow: Goodness! That sounds complicated. / [[the two AnthroPCs peak over the top edge of Hannelore's couch]] / Pintsize:...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Pintsize and Winslow on couch in Hannelore's apartment]] / Pintsize: ... So now Marten and DORA are going out, and Faye's at home visiting her family. / Winslow: Goodness! That sounds complicated. / Pintsize: Yeah, it's a touchy situation. Anyway, wanna come downstairs and watch some tv with me? / Winslow:...
 
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{RIP Motherfucker}} / Faye's mom: So what are your plans while you're down here? / Faye: I dunno, I was gonna hang out with Amanda today and then maybe go visit dad's grave tomorrow. / Faye's mom: Really? You haven't done that since you got out of the hospital. / Faye: Well yeah, but I figure it's about...
RIP Motherfucker Mrs. Whitaker: So what are your plans while you're down here? / Faye: I dunno, I was gonna hang out with Amanda today and then maybe go visit dad's grave tomorrow. / Mrs. Whitaker: Really? You haven't done that since you got out of the hospital. / Faye: Well yeah, but I figure it's about time I did. / Mrs....
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[another afternoon at Coffee of Doom]] / Marten: So, uh, you wanna go see a movie or something tonight? / Dora: How about you come over to my place and we'll rent something. Movie theaters are expensive and frown upon snarky commentary and makeouts. / Marten: Hahah, okay. Well, I'm gonna go get some...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday Marten: So, uh, you wanna go see a movie or something tonight? / Dora: How about you come over to my place and we'll rent something. Movie theaters are expensive and frown upon snarky commentary and makeouts. / Marten: Hahah, okay. Well, I'm gonna go get some dinner. / Marten: Mwah. Sloppy lipstick marks...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Marten & Faye's Apartment]] / Marten: Uh, Hannelore? What're you doing in my apartment? / Hannelore: Pintsize invited Winslow down to watch TV, and I wanted to chaperone and make sure they don't get into any trouble. / Winslow: Salutations! / Marten: Well that was nice of you. Thanks a lot! / Hannelore:...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Winslow and Hannelore in Marten's apartment when he walks in]] / Marten: Uh, Hannelore? What're you doing in my apartment? / Hannelore: Pintsize invited Winslow down to watch TV, and I wanted to chaperone and make sure they don't get into any trouble. / Winslow: Salutations! / Marten: Well that was...
Questionable Content: Number 594: He Has An Awesome Van Dora: Augh, I don't know. I shouldn't worry. I should just concentrate on being happy with Marten. But it's a real issue! / Raven: Let's ask the Makeout Hobo. / Dora: The "makeout hobo"? You mean the scruffy dude in the corner? / Raven: Yes! If anyone can give you advice, it's a guy who lives in his...
He Has an Awesome Van [[Dora and Raven are behind the counter at the coffee shop]] / Dora: Augh, I don't know. I shouldn't worry I should just concentrate on being happy with Marten. But it's a real issue! / Raven: Let's ask the Makeout Hobo. / Dora: The "makeout hobo"? You mean the scruffy dude in the corner? / Raven: Yep!...
Questionable Content # 595: Hangin' Out In The Basement Amanda: ...So yeah, Aunt Bettie told me I was going to hell because I liked girls. Then she tried to lay hands on me and "drive the demons out". / Faye: Well, this is the same woman who told mom that dad was going to hell, at his funeral. I think even the pastor wanted to smack her. / Amanda: Ugh, that's...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Amanda and Faye walking to basement]] / Amanda: ...So yeah, Aunt Bettie told me I was going to hell because I liked girls. Then she tried to lay hands on me and "drive the demons out". / Faye: Well, this is the same woman who told mom that dad was going to hell, at his funeral. I think even the pastor...
 
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[In Marten and Faye's apartment]] / Hannelore; Thanks for the pizza Marten. Good luck on your date tonight. / Marten; Heh, thanks / Hannelore; I promise not to observe the whole thing from across the street using a high-powered telescope. / Marten; Okay, see, remember what we talked about earlier, about...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Marten and Hannelore sitting on Marten's couch]] / Hannelore: Thanks for the pizza, Marten. Good luck on your date tonight. / Marten: Heh, thanks. / Hannelore: I promise not to observe the whole thing from across the street using a high-powered telescope. / Marten: Okay, see, remember what we talked...
Number 597: Tomato Plants Are Fun To Draw [[Outside Faye's mother's house, near her tomato garden]] / Faye: Mom, do you think you'll ever get married again? / Faye's Mother: Oh honey, I don't think so. Your father was the man for me, and with him gone I just don't feel like there's anyone who could take his place. / Faye's Mother: And I miss...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{title: Tomato Plants Are Fun To Draw}} / [[Faye and her mother are in the garden. Her mother is tending some tomato plants]] / Faye: Mom, do you think you'll ever get married again? / Faye's Mother: Oh honey, I don't think so. Your father was the man for me, and with him gone I just don't feel like...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{title text: Safety First}} / Martin: Okay, teeth are brushed, deodorant is applied, boxers are clean, pants aren't on backwards... / Pintsize: Ready for your big date? / Martin: It's not a "big date". We're just gonna watch a movie together. / Pintsize: Whatever you say, romeo. Want me to play "Let's...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{title: Safety First}} / [[Marten and Faye's apartment: Pintsize is standing on the settee]] / Marten: Okeay, teeth are brushed, deodorant is applied, boxers are clean, pants aren't on backwards... / Pintsize: Ready for your big date? / Marten: It's not a "big date". We're just gonna watch a movie together. / Pintsize:...
Number 599: The Old Standby Dora: Okay, time for me to go home. You sure you can handle closing all by yourself, Raven? / Raven: Uh huh! If anyone asks me for a drink I don't know how to make I'll just hit 'em with a carafe and drag 'em out back. / Dora: That's right- when in doubt, trauma-induced amnesia is the solution to your...
Questionable Content: no. 599 [[In the coffee shop]] / Dora: Okay, time for me to go home. You sure you can handle closing all by yourself, Raven? / Raven: Uh huh! If anyone asks me for a drink I don't know how to make I'll just hit 'em with a carafe and drag 'em out back. / Dora: That's right- when in doubt, trauma-induced amnesia...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday {{title: It's Assumed That He Is Joking}} / [[Dora enters the Martens apartment and hugs him tightly]] / Dora: Rar! Hey sweetie! / Marten: Doof! Hi Dora. / [[They walk over to the settee]] / Dora: So what'd you end up doing for dinner? / Marten: I ordered some pizza. Hannelore was watching Pintsize and...
Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday [[Marten at Dora's apartment]] / Dora: Rar! Hey sweetie! / Marten: Doof! Hi Dora. / Dora: So what'd you end up doing for dinner? / Marten: I ordered some pizza. Hannelore was watching Pintsize and her AnthroPC so we shared. / Dora: Is this the part where I'm supposed to get all indignant and overprotective? / Marten:...
 

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