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| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten swings uprooted stop sign at girl on motor scooter who is making second pass evidently trying to hit Steve and him. Girl ducks and speeds on by.]]
/ Narrator: Number 21: Speed Lines Equal INTENSITY
/ [[Red and yellow speed lines]]
/ Girl: You're not the one I want. Don't get involved.
/ [[Blue and yellow speed lines]]
/ Marten: Psh, not the first time a girl's told me that. So what, you're after Steve? What'd he ever do to you?
/ [[Red and yellow speed lines]]
/ Girl: I...overheard how he broke up with his girlfriend earlier today. I avenge such poor behavior.
/ [[Blue and yellow speed lines]]
/ Steve: What? SHE broke up with ME! What you heard was me tellin' her off after she dumped my ass like I was Ani DiFranco at a frat party.
/ Girl: ...
/ Girl: Be...be that as it may, your behavior was inexcusable. You haven't seen the last of me.
/ [[Girl rides off ]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=721 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Chick on Vespa: < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=721# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{ Number 722: Three Makes a Pile }}
/ Dora: Hey cutie. Where've you been? And what's with the stop sign?
/ Marten: Long story. I'll explain tomorrow. / [[ Dora and Marten assisting semi-concious Faye from the room ]]
/ Faye: Razzum frazzum... canteloupes... mmmfgh... / [[ Marten tucks in blanket on Hannelore sleeping on couch. ]] / [[ Dora and Marten in bed ]]
/ Dora: I'm almost disappointed. You coulda dragged Faye and Hanners in here and gone to sleep in a pile of ladies. That's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
/ Marten: Once in a lifetime because Faye would beat me to death with Hannelore, who'd have gone rigid with catatonic horror. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=722 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: Hey cutie. Where've you been? And what's with the stop sign?
/ Marten: Long story. I'll explain tomorrow. / Faye: Razzum frazzum... canteloupes... mmmfgh... / Dora: I'm almost disappointed. You coulda dragged Faye and Hanners in here and gone to sleep in a pile of ladies. That's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
/ Marten: Once in a lifetime because Faye would beat me to death with Hannelore, who'd have gone rigid with catatonic horror. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=722# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Dora walks out of Martin's room, scratches ass and yawns.]] / [[Dora walks into living room and runs into Faye walking out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel. They stare at each other ackwardly.]] / [[Zooms out to reveal Hannelore on the couch talking in her sleep. They both stare at her]]
/ Hannelore: Oh, Doctor Jones...let me be the warm, yielding Kentuck to your rigid manly Indiana...mmmmf...zzz... / Dora: Okay, that defused the situation better tahn anything I could possibly have said. Maybe there IS a God.
/ Faye: There is no god. There is only Harrison Ford and his chisled jawline.
/ Hannelore: Zzz...Oh Indy, you can raid my ark anytime...zzz... http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=723 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | TITLE BAR: Number 723: I Hate Snakes / PANEL 1
/ [[Dora walks out of Marten's room with her eyes closed, scratching her butt.]]
/ Dora: < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=723# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: Hey, about me sleepin' over last night and all, I just wanted to-
/ Faye: Don't worry about it. / Dora: Don't worry about it?
/ Faye: It's none of my business where you and Marty do your sleepin' or whether you do it together. As long as I don't have to know the messy details I'm okay with that. / Dora: He's a really good-
/ Faye: What did I just say about not wanting details?
/ Dora: I'm sorry! The urge to kiss and tell is overwhelming! / Faye: Look, I often feel the same way after a particularly epic bowel movement, but that doesn't mean I tell you all about it.
/ Dora: Yes you do. The clouds of air freshener, the Wagnerian background music, the hippo noises...
/ Faye: It's not WAGNER, and those AREN'T hippo noises.
/ Dora: The Last of the Mohicans soundtrack and springbok noises, then. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=724 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: Hey, about me sleepin' over last night and all, I just wanted to-
/ Faye: Don't worry about it. / Dora: Don't worry about it?
/ Faye: It's none of my buisness where you and Marty do your sleepin' or whether you do it together. As long as I don't have to know the messy details I'm okay with that. / Dora: He's a really good-
/ Faye: What did I just say about not wanting details?
/ Dora: I'm sorry! The urge to kiss and tell is overwhelming! / Faye: Look, I often feel the same way after a particularly epic bowel movement, but that doesn't mean I tell you all about it.
/ Dora: Yes you do. The clouds of air freshener, the Wagnerian background music, the hippo noises.
/ Faye: It's not WAGNER, and those AREN'T hippo noises.
/ Dora: The Last of the Mohicans soundtrack and springbok noises, then. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=724# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Penelope! You came back!
/ Penelope: Yes, I came back. And PLEASE stop pronouncing my name like "antelope." I'm not an ungulate. / Faye: So, have you decided to take the job?
/ Penelope: I don't have much choice. I got fired from the bookstore last night.
/ Faye: Whoa, uncanny timing! How'd you manage that? / Penelope: I caught my manager staring at my ass again and I told him to "take a picture, it'd last longer" and he fired me for "insubordination."
/ Faye: So you lost a job with a sleazeball manager. Why does that make you upset?
/ Penelope: Because it's YOUR FAULT I was in a bad mood and snapped at him last night! You got me fired! / Faye: I prefer to think of it less as "getting you fired" and more as "getting you a chunk of of your manager's eventual class-action lawsuit settlement."
/ Dora: I can't promise I won't look at your butt sometimes. It still gets slow in here occasionally and I get bored.
/ Penelope: Can I at least be insubordinate?
/ Faye: Shit, that's half the charm of workin' here. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=725 |
| Number 725: for some reason a witty title is eluding me | [[At the coffee shop]]
/ Faye: Penelope! You came back!
/ Penelope: Yes, I'm back. And PLEASE stop pronouncing my name like "antelope." I'm not an ungulate. / Faye: So, have you decided to take the job?
/ Penelope: I don't have much choice. I got fired from the bookstore last night.
/ Faye: Woah, uncanny timing! How'd you manage that? / Penelope: I caught my manager staring at my ass again and told him to "take a picture, it'd last longer" and he fired me for insubordination.
/ Faye: So you lost a job with a sleazeball manager. Why does that make you upset?
/ Penelope: Because it's YOUR FAULT I was in a bad mood and snapped at him last night! You got me fired! / Faye: I prefer to think of it less as "getting you fired" and more as "getting you a chunk of your manager's eventual class-action lawsuit settlement."
/ Penelope: Can I at least be insubordinate?
/ Faye: Shit, that's half the charm of workin' here.
/ Dora: I can't promise I won't look at your butt sometimes. It still gets slow in here occasionally and I get bored. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=725# |
| Questionable Content: Polyamory Can Be Tricky | Librarian: Hey, you made it! Man, you look rough. Long night?
/ Marten: Long and WEIRD night. / Librarian: Oh man, you too? There was SO much drama on my dorm floor last night.
/ Marten: Oh yeah? How so? / Librarian: Well Serena, Ashley, and Jill are all dating Bailey, only Serena and Jill are pissed because THEY used to be exclusively seeing each OTHER. Bailey got caught making out with Jenna at a party, and nobody even thought Jenna was INTO girls. So my roommate Bri freaked 'cause she's had a HGE crush on Jenna for the longest time but thought she wouldn't be interested, so she was just making out with Ashley instead, when Ashley wasn't sleeping with Bailey anyway. / Marten: Wow, that DOES sound like hell of drama.
/ Librarian: Oh no, that's just the backstory.
/ Marten: The backstory? What's the "drama" then?
/ Librarian: Turns out they all have mono and Jill's pregnant somehow. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=726 |
| Number 726: Polyamory can be tricky | [[Marten reporting for his first day of work at the Smif library]]
/ Tai: Hey, you made it! Man, you look rough. Long night?
/ Marten: Long and WEIRD night. / Tai: Oh man, you too? There was SO much drama on my dorm floor last night.
/ Marten: Oh yeah? How so? / Tai: Well Serena, Ashley, and Jill are all dating Bailey, only Serana and Jill are pissed because THEY used to be exclusively seeing each OTHER. Bailey got caught making out with Jenna at a party, and nobody even thought Jenna was INTO girls. So my roommate Bri freaked 'cause she's had a HUGE crush on Jenna for the longest time but thought she wouldn't be interested, so she was just making out with Ashley instead, when Ashley wasn't sleeping with Bailey anyway. / Marten: Wow, that DOES sound like hell of drama.
/ Tai: Oh no, that's just the backstory.
/ Marten: The backstory? What's the "drama" then?
/ Tai: Turns out they all have mono and Jill's pregnant somehow. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=726# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Tai: So yeah, hella conflict on my floor.
/ Marten: Sounds like it. You're smart for stayin' out of it.
/ Tai: Haha, yeah. It's totally stupid. / [[ Bailey passes by ]]
/ Bailey: Hey Tai.
/ Tai: Oh, hi Bailey! / Marten: So that's Bailey from your floor? No wonder she's got so many lady-friends. She's pretty hot!
/ Tai: DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT HER THAT WAY! BAILEY IS MINE! WE'RE MEANT TO BE, SHE JUST DOESN'T KNOW IT YET! / [[ Marten supporting Tai from falling ]]
/ Tai: Whoa. I, uh....I'm sorry, I lost control for a second there. I'm really dizzy, I think I need to sit down.
/ Marten: Let's go to the infirmary and get some dramabiotics before you die of angst-sepsis. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=727 |
| Questionable Content: Number 727: No College Student Is Immune | [[Martin and Tai are walking through the library.]] / Tai: So yeah, hella conflict on my floor. / Martin: Sounds like it. You're smart for stayin' out of it. / Tai: Haha, yeah. It's totally stupid. / [[A girl walks past.]] / Bailey: Hey Tai. / Tai: Oh, hi Bailey! / [[Martin turns to watch Bailey walk past.]] / Martin: So that's Bailey from your floor? No wonder she's got so many lady-friends. She's pretty hot! / [[Tai gets angry.]] / Tai: DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT HER THAT WAY! BAILEY IS MINE! WE'RE MEANT TO BE, SHE JUST DOESN'T KNOW IT YET! / [[Tai suddely gets dizzy and Martin has to hold her up.]] / Tai: Whoa. I, uh....I'm sorry, I lost control for a second there. I'm really dizzy, I think I need to sit down. / Martin: Let's go to the infirmary and get some dramabiotics before you die of angst-sepsis. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=727# |
| Questionable Content: Number 728: Bad News | [[Tai and Marten, sitting outside]]
/ Tai: ...So Bailey doesn't DO monogamy, and I don't do polyamory. And I don't even thing she'd be interested in me anyway, but I can't stop thinking about her! So I don't know what to do.
/ Marten: Yeah, that really sucks. I don't know what to tell you. / [[Close up on Tai and Marten]]
/ Tai: Man, you're so lucky to be outta college. I bet YOU don't have to deal with stupid girl-drama all the time. / {{Marten twitches}} / [[Marten holding his sides as he laughs]]
/ Marten: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
/ Tai: Oh come on, it's bad enough knowing my liberal arts degree is gonna be useless. Don't crush ALL my hopes. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=728 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Tai: So Bailey doesn't DO monogamy, and I don't do polyamory.
/ And I don't even think she'd be interested in me anyway, but I can't stop thinking about her!
/ So I don't know what to do.
/ Marten: Yeah, that really sucks.
/ I don't know what to tell you. / Tai: Man, you are so lucky to be outta college.
/ I bet YOU don't have to deal with stupid girl-drama all the time. / Marten: < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=728# |
| Number 729: Biology Department | Dora: Don't listen to her Pen-pen. There is no "initiation ceremony."
/ Faye: Aw, you're no fun.
/ Penelope: Please don't call me "Pen-pen." / Faye: Oh God, are you one of those people who won't let anyone shorten their name in conversation?
/ Penelope: I just like being called Penelope. / Faye: Get used to it. Working at Coffee of Doom means subjecting yourself to a neverending parade of inventive nicknamery.
/ Dora: Not to mention tomfoolery and smartassery.
/ Penelope: Eww, when was the last time you did any dishwashery? This carafe is disgusting! / Faye: It's an ongoing experiment.
/ Penelope: What, to see if mold can become a sentient being?
/ Dora: I'm pretty sure I heard it hitting on Raven yesterday, so it's about halfway there. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=729 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: Don't listen to her, Pen-pen.
/ There is no "initiation ceremony."
/ Faye: Aw, you're no fun.
/ Penelope: Please don't call me "Pen-pen." / Faye: Oh God, are you one of those people who won't let anyone shorten their name in conversation?
/ Penelope: I just like being called Penelope. / Faye: Get used to it.
/ Working at Coffee of Doom means subjecting yourself to a neverending parade of inventive nicknamery.
/ Dora: Not to mention tomfoolery and smartassery.
/ Penelope: Eww, when was the last time you did any dishwashery?
/ This carafe is disgusting! / Faye: It's an ongoing experiment.
/ Penelope: What, to see if mold can become a sentient being?
/ Dora: I'm pretty sure I heard it hitting on Raven yesterday, so it's about halfway there. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=729# |
| Number 730: Creeped Out Again | [[Hannelore sleeping on the couch in Marten and Faye's apartment]]
/ Hannelore: Snorrrrrrrre... / [[Hannelore sits up, with Pintsize now visible on the arm of the couch]]
/ Hannelore: LOOK OUT INDY! Guh...huh? / Hannelore: Where is everybody?
/ Pintsize: They all went to work.
/ Hannelore: Why didn't you wake me up sooner?
/ Pintsize: I decided I'd rather stand here and...OBSERVE you in your sleep. / [[Hannelore raises one eyebrow skeptically]]
/ Hannelore: Don't you try and out-creepy me, little man. My first words when I was a toddler were "thousand-yard stare."
/ Pintsize: I clipped your toenails while you slept. So I could make them part of my COLLECTION.
/ Hannelore: EeeennnnnnggghhhOKAY, you win this round. But I'll get you next time, Gadget. Next time! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=730 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [Hanelore is sleeping on Martin's couch, arm thrown over her forehead]
/ Hanelore: Snorrrrrre.... / [Hanelore leaps up, startled. Pintsize is standing, watching, on the left end of the couch by her feet.]
/ Hanelore: LOOK OUT INDY! Guh...huh? / [Hanelore's face is confused, while Pintsize has a mischevious grin]
/ Hanelore: Where is everybody?
/ Pintsize: They all went to work.
/ Hanelore: Why didn't you wake me up sooner?
/ Pintsize: I decided I'd rather stand here and... OBSERVE you in your sleep. / [Hanelore is annoyed, while Pintsize continues to grin.]
/ Hanelore: Don't you try and out-creepy me, little man. My first words when I was a toddler were "thousand-yard stare."
/ Pintsize: I clipped your toenails while you slept. So I could make them part of my COLLECTION.
/ Hanelore: Eeeennnnnggghhh OKAY, you win this round. But I'll get you next time, Gadget. Next time! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=730# |
| Number 731: Veritas | {{Number 731: Veritas}} / [[MArteen walks into the Doom Cafe]]
/ Faye: Hey Marty, what's up? What'd you and Steve get up to after i passed out?
/ Marteen: Oh man, WEIRD night. / [[Dora walks into the conversation]]
/ Faye: What, did Dora want to use a strap-on or something?
/ Marteen: No Dora did not want to use a strap-on.
/ Dora: You never did tell me what happened to you and Steve. / [[Marteen scratches his head while he tells the tale]]
/ Marteen: This is gonna sound really strange, but we got attacked by a crazy chick on a Vespa, who was out to get Steve because she misheard his breakup fight with Ellen and thought he was being abusive.
/ Dora: And the stop sign? Where'd that come from?
/ Marteen: Oh, I fended her off with it. It seemed like a good idea at the time. / [[Faye scratches her chin]]
/ Dora: Don't lie to me Marty. Did you guys go to a strip club? You went to a strip club, stole a stop sign and you're too embarrassed to admit it. That's so cute!
/ Faye: I'm trying to imagine Marty at a strip clib and it is HILARIOUSLY IMPLAUSIBLE. I think he's telling the truth!
/ Marteen: Never before has my masculinity been so diminished in the pursuit of truth. / {{Copyright 2003-2005 J.Jacques}} http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=731 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Hey Marty, what's up? What'd you and Steve get up to after I passed out?
/ Martin: Oh man, WEIRD night. / Faye: What, did Dora want to use a strap-on or something?
/ Martin: No, Dora did not want to use a strap-on.
/ Dora: You never did tell me what happened to you and Steve. / Martin: This is gonna sound really strange, but we got attacked by a crazy chick on a Vespa, who was out to get Steve because she misheard his breakup fight with Ellen and thought ahe was being abusive.
/ Dora: And the stop sign? Where'd that come from?
/ Martin: Ohm I fended her off with it. It seemed like a good idea at the time. / Dora: Don't lie to me, Marty. Did you guys go to a strip club? You went to a strip club, stole a stop sign, and you're too embarrassed to admit it. That's so cute!
/ Faye: I'm trying to imagine Marty in a strip club and its HILARIOUSLY IMPLAUSIBLE. I think he's telling the truth.
/ Martin: Never before has my masculinity been so diminished in the pursuit of truth. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=731# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 732: Bad Colour Scheme}} / [[Dora, Marten and Faye gathered at the counter of Coffe of Doom]]
/ Dora: Have you or Steve talked to the police?
/ Marten: Steve said he would today.
/ Faye: That's nice of him, they could probably use a good laugh. / [[Dora pulls out an Apple laptop]]
/ Dora: Don't be snide. We have a vigilante on our hands! I'm gonna do some detective work.
/ Faye: What, you're just gonna Google "crazy chick on a vespa" and see what comes up?
/ Marten: The internet knows everything. It's like Kim Peek only rude and obsessed with pornography. / [[Wepage on Dora's Mac of VespAvenger.com "Where payback really is a bitch .™ Showing said crazy chick on said vespa."]] / [[Marten and Faye gather around Dora's laptop.]]
/ Dora: Ewww, awful site design. And oh God, look at the customer testimonials. "My ex dumped me for a stripper. Now she has to help him eat and use the bathroom! Thanks, VespAvenger!"
/ Faye: Oh man. B for Bitchdetta!
/ Marten: We gotta put a stop to this girl. I do NOT want to be responsible for givin' Steve spongebaths and takin' him to rehab. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=732 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | TITLE BAR: Number 732: Bad Color Scheme / PANEL ONE
/ [[Dora and Faye are behind the Coffee of Doom counter, talking to Marten]]
/ Dora: Have you or Steve talked to the police?
/ Marten: Steve said he would today.
/ Faye: That's nice of him, they could probably use a laugh. / PANEL TWO
/ [[Dora is taking out her laptop, glaring at Faye]]
/ Dora: Don't be snide. We have a vigilante on our hands! I'm gonna do some detective work.
/ Faye: What, you're just going to Google "crazy chick on a vespa" and see what comes up?
/ Marten: The internet knows everything. It's like Kim Peek only rude and obsessed with pornography. / PANEL THREE
/ [[A screenshot of Dora's computer. The VespAvenger website is up. The website displays a top banner and three veritcal information panels in pink and black almost exclusively. The banner is an image of the VespAvenger with her title in front of her, with the tagline "Where payback really is a bitch". The first panel is the links within site, the middle an introduction, and the last bar displays "advertizing" space for VespAvenger. Dora's computer clock displays the time as being 1:37 pm.]] / PANEL FOUR
/ [[Marten and Dora look horrified, Faye worried]]
/ Dora: Ewww, awful site design. And oh God, look at the testimonials. "My ex dumped me for a stripper. Now she has to help him eat, and use the bathroom! Thanks, VespAvenger!"
/ Faye: Oh man, B for Bitchdetta!
/ Marten: We gotta put a stop to this girl. I do NOT want to be responsible for givin Steve spongbaths and takin' him to rehab.
/ http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=732# http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=732# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Martin: Anyway, I gotta get back to work. Let me know if you figure out anything about this VespAvenger Chick.
/ Dora: Will do. Sese you later, sweetie. / Faye: Okay, now these beans are straight off the boat, so occasionally there'll be a coffee-spider mixed in with 'em. They're as big as your hand, but they're slow so you can usually hit 'em with a shovel before they pounce on you.
/ Penelope: You can stop messing with me, Faye. I know there's no such thing as coffee spiders. / Faye: I'm not messing with you! They lay their eggs in coffee beans and hatch on the ride up from OH GOD ONE'S GOT MY HAND AAAAAAAAAIGH / Faye: Aw, you're no fun. Raven practically crapped her pants when I pulled that trick on her.
/ Penelope: Are you serious? She fell for that?
/ Faye: To this day she won't open a sack of beans without a face mask, a crowbar, and one of us ready to dial 911 "in case the spider gets me in an artery." http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=733 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | TITLE BAR: Number 733: The Jeff Corwin Trick / PANEL ONE
/ [[Dora is kissing Marten on the cheek in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Marten: Anyway, I gotta get back to work. Let me know if you figure anything out about the VespAvenger Chick.
/ Dora: Will do. See you later sweetie. / PANEL TWO
/ [[Faye is holding a sack of coffee beans, training Penelope]]
/ Faye: Okay, now these beans are straight off the boat, so occasionally there'll be a coffee-spider mixed in with 'em. They're as big as your hand, but they're slow so you can usually hit 'em with a shovel before they pounce on you.
/ Penelope: You can stop messing with me Faye. I know there's no such thing as coffee-spiders. / PANEL THREE
/ [[Faye is kneeling on the floor in front of the coffee bag, a horrified expression on her face. Penelope looks at her cooly]]
/ Faye: I'm not messing with you! They lay their eggs in coffee beans and hatch on the ride up fromOH GOD ONE'S GOT MY HAND AAAAAAAAAIGH! / PANEL FOUR
/ [[Faye is pouting]]
/ Faye: Aw, you're no fun. Raven practically crapped her pants when I pulled that trick on her.
/ Penelope: Are you serious? She fell for that?
/ Faye: To this day she won't open a sack of beans without a face mask, a crowbar, and one of us ready to dial 911 "in case the spider gets me in the artery."
/ http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=733# http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=733# |
| Number 734: Banter Practice | [[Barristas at work]]
/ Faye: Want me to make a lunch run?
/ Dora: Burritos! Possibly even a burro. I'm starvin'.
/ Faye: I shall name him Paco. He will graze on our shrubbery and haul heavy goods from out back for us. / Dora: I'm pretty sure the landlord wouldn't approve.
/ Faye: I'd say flash him a little cleavage to change his mind, but I'm not sure your buttcheeks touch, let alone the girls upstairs.
/ Dora: On second thought, a burro would be handy. You'd finally have some place to hang those saddlebags of yours. / Faye: Ohh, burn! That was such a bad burn Joan of Arc is checking her angelic feet for blisters and she doesn't know why.
/ Dora: I wonder if schizophrenics still hear voices in Heaven.
/ Faye: Yeah, only it's local instead of long-distance. Much cheaper rates.
/ Dora: Ironically, Hell gets WAY better cell-phone reception AND has free WiFi. / Faye: Clearly that's by design. Cell phones and the Internet are both the work of the Devil.
/ Dora: The Devil doesn't even torture the souls of the damned anymore, he just sits around watching funny YouTube videos all day.
/ Penelope: I...I think this is my cue to say something witty about YouTube, but I'm drawing a blank.
/ Faye: It's okay, hon. Everyone chokes on their first try.
/ Dora: Oh come on, Faye. That's the most obvious oral-sex-joke lead-in ever. Why not just put the ball on the tee FOR her? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=734 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Want me to make a lunch run?
/ Dora: Burritos!
/ Possibly even a burro.
/ I'm starvin'.
/ Faye: I shall name him Paco.
/ He will graze on our shrubbery and haul heavy goods from out back for us. / Dora: I'm pretty sure the landlord wouldn't approve.
/ Faye: I'd say flash him a little cleavage to change his mind, but I'm not sure your buttcheeks touch, let alone the girls upstairs.
/ Dora: On second thought, a burro would be handy.
/ You'd finally have someplace to hang those saddlebags of yours. / Faye: Ohh, burn!
/ That was such a bad burn Joan of Arc is checking her angelic feet for blisters and she doesn't know why.
/ Dora: I wonder if schizophrenics still hear voices in Heaven?
/ Faye: Yeah, only it's local instead of long-distance.
/ Much cheaper rates.
/ Dora: Ironically, Hell gets WAY better cell-phone reception AND has free WiFi. / Faye: Clearly that's by design.
/ Cell phones and the Internet are both the work of the Devil.
/ Dora: The Devil doesn't even torture the souls of the damned anymore, he just sits around watching funny YouTube videos all day.
/ Penelope: I... I think this is my cue to say something witty about YouTube, but I'm drawing a blank.
/ Faye: It's okay, hon.
/ Everyone chokes on their first try.
/ Dora: Oh come on, Faye.
/ That's the most obvious oral-sex-joke lead-in ever.
/ Why not just put the ball on the tee FOR her? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=734# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Raven: Hi Faye!
/ Faye: Hey Raven. Go say hi to your new coworker.
/ Raven: Ooh, new coworker? Yay! / Penelope: Hi, I'm Peneope.
/ Raven: I'm Raven. So you're our newest employee, huh?
/ Penelope: Yeah.
/ Raven: So then I have seniority over you?
/ Penelope: I...I guess so? / Raven: Hee hee hee! Ha ha ha ha ha! Muahahahaha!
/ Penelope: Um... / Faye: [[holding mop]] Sorry toots, you're still on bathroom duty. Now go mop.
/ Raven: Aww, how come?
/ Dora: Maniacal laughter and the abuse of junior employees are restricted to Payscale 2 personnel.
/ Penelope: Those are actually pretty good perks. At my old job you couldn't cackle maliciously or oppress anybody until you made it into district management. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=735 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Raven: Hi Faye!
/ Faye: Hey Raven. Go say hi to your new coworker.
/ Raven: Ooh, new coworker? / Penelope: Hi, I'm Penelope.
/ Raven: I'm Raven. So your our newest employee huh?
/ Penelope: Yeah.
/ Raven: So then I have seniority over you?
/ Penelope: I...I guess so? / Raven: Hee hee hee! Ha ha ha! Muahahahaha!
/ Penelope: Um... / Faye: Sorry toots, you're still on bathroom duty. Now go mop.
/ Raven: Aww, how come?
/ Dora: Maniacal laughter and the abuse of junior employees are restricted to Payscale 2 personel.
/ Penelope: Those are actually pretty good perks. At my old job you could cackle maliciously or opress anybody until you made it to district management. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=735# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Tai: ... So that's basically it. All you gotta do is go shelve those.
/ Marten: Right on, I can handle that. / Tai: hey, can you take care of them? I gotta go pee.
/ Marten: Sure, I...oh. Hi, Ellen.
/ Ellen: Marten? Wh-what are you doing here?
/ Marten: I work here now. / Ellen: I, uh....oh. How's Steve doing? I guess you probably heard....
/ Marten: Steve's doing okay, for a guy who got dumped out of nowhere and then jumped by a psycho chick on a motor-scooter because of it.
/ Ellen: What?
/ Marten: So who's your touchy-feely friend ehre? Does he have a name or should I just called him NOT-Steve for the time being? / Ellen: NO, his NAME is-
/ Marten: Actually, nevermind. I'm too busy staring at you in contempt.
/ Blonde Guy: Wait, who the hell is Steve?
/ Marten: You might want to go outside to explain it to him, Ellen. Yelling is prohibited in the library and I'm sure he'll have a few choice expletives he'd like to shout. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=736 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 736: He Doesn't Get To Do This Very Often}} / Tai: So that's basically it. All you gotta do is go shelve those.
/ [[Marten is pushing a cart full of books, making a trundling noise]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=736# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Ellen drags Marten out of the library]]
/ Ellen: His NAME is Chris. He's from my marine biology class, and we're going on a date. I just needed to pick up some books first.
/ Marten: Dumping one dude and immediately movin' on to the next, huh? Classy. / Ellen: EXCUSE me? You're one to talk, mister barely-made-it-two-days-before-shackign-up-with-Dora.
/ Marten: That...that was a totally different situation!
/ Ellen: How was it "totally different,", exactly? Chris asked me out yesterday, and I said yes. Dora kissed you and you were more than happy to go along with it. / [[Ellen walks away]]
/ Ellen: So don't you get all high-and-mighty with me, buddy. If you really think I'm in the wrong here, then you're one hell of a hypocrite. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date to go on. / [[Marten returns inside library]]
/ Tai: What was that all about?
/ Marten: My Self-Righteous-Asshole-fu was defeated by her Uncomfortable-Truth-jitsu. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=737 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Ellen: His Name is Chris.
/ He's from my marine biology class, and we're going on a date.
/ I just needed to pick up some books first.
/ Marten: Dumping one dude and immediately movin' on to the next, huh?
/ Classy. / Ellen: ExCUSE me? You're one to talk, mister barely-made-it-two-days before shacking-up-with-Dora.
/ Marten: That... that was a totally different situation!
/ Ellen: How was it "totally different," exactly?
/ Chris asked me out yesterday, and I said yes.
/ Dora kissed you and you were more than happy to go along with it. / Ellen: So don't you get all high-and-mighty with me, buddy.
/ If you really think I'M in the wrong here, then you're one hell of a hypocrite.
/ Now if you excuse me, I have a date to go on. / Tai: What was that all about?
/ Marten: My self-Righteous-Asshole-fu was defeated by her Uncomfortable-Truth-jitsu. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=737# |
| Questionable Content - Number 738: Amateur Phrenology | [[Tai and Marten talking in the library]] / Tai: She said WHAT? Those aren't the same situation at all! One girl you liked said she couldn't date you, so you're dating another girl you liked, right?
/ Marten: Basically, yeah. / Tai: Well that is TOTALLY different from dumping one dude you were dating and immediately shacking up with another. What a heinous bitch!
/ Marten: Nah, I was out of line. I shouldn't have given her such a hard time. / Tai: No, you were perfectly justified! She fucked over your friend and you were pissed at her. That is totally normal.
/ Tai: But then this bitch hits you below your metaphorical belt with something you're already feeling guilty over for no good reason, and it just shuts you down.
/ Tai: It's shitty of her to play on your guilt like that, especially since it sounds like this Faye chick has gone out of her way to keep and your lady-friend from feeling like assholes in the first place. / Marten: Wow, I...hadn't thought of it like that. Thanks Tai, I feel a lot better now.
/ Tai: Dad always said I shoulda majored in psychology.
/ Marten: Heh, I'm just glad you aren't charging me an hourly fee.
/ Tai: Oh, I am. You'll get my invoice in the mail in three to five days. Baby needs to pay off her student loans. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=738 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Tai: She said WHAT?
/ Those aren't the same situation at all!
/ One girl you liked said she couldn't date you, so you're dating another girl you liked, right?
/ Marten: Basically, yeah. / Tai: Well that is TOTALLY different from dumping one dude you were dating and immediately shacking up with another.
/ What a heinous bitch!
/ Marten: Nah, I was out of line.
/ I shouldn't have given her such a hard time. / Tai: No, you were perfectly justified!
/ She fucked over your friend and you were pissed at her.
/ That's totally normal.
/ But then this bitch hits you below your metaphorical belt with something you're already feeling guilty over for no good reason, and it just shuts you down.
/ It's shitty of her to play on your guilt like that, especially since it sounds like this Faye chick has gone out of her way to keep you and your lady-friend from feeling like assholes in the first place. /
/ Marten: Wow, I hadn't thought of it like that.
/ Thanks Tai, I feel a lot better now.
/ Tai: Dad always said I shoulda majored in psychology.
/ Marten: Heh, I'm just glad you aren't charging me an hourly fee.
/ Tai: Oh, I am.
/ You'll get my invoice in the mail in three to five days.
/ Baby needs to pay off her student loans. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=738# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten enters his apartment.]]
/ Marten: Christ, what a day. / [[Dora charges Marten with an outstretched index finger and a clenched fist.]]
/ Marten: Oh hey Dora, what're you doing-
/ Dora: You son of a bitch!
/ Marten: Buh? / [[Dora winks while Faye holds up a sign that says, "We have a sneaky plan. Just play along!"]]
/ Dora: Don't play dumb with me, asshole. I know the truth about you and Faye.
/ Faye: I'm so sorry, Marten. I couldn't bear the strain of keeping our forbidden love a secret any longer. I had to tell her! / [[The couch is populated by AnthroPCs. Pintsize and Winslow rest at the pinnacle of the couch.]]
/ Marten: Okay, but what's with the crowd?
/ Faye: When we told Pintsize he insisted on inviting all his friends over.
/ Pintsize: Melodrama this good demands an audience.
/ Random AnthroPC 1: I am so YouTubing this when I get home.
/ Random AnthroPC 2: Hey! Down in Front! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=739 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Christ, what a day. / Marten: Oh hey Dora, what're you doing?
/ Dora: You SON of a BITCH.
/ Marten: Buh? / Dora: Don;t play dumb with me, asshole.
/ I know the truth about you and Faye.
/ Faye: I'm so sorry, Marten.
/ I couldn't bear the strain of keeping our forbidden love a secret any longer.
/ I had to tell her. / Marten: Okay, but what's with the crowd?
/ Faye: When we told Pintsize he insisted on inviting all his friends over.
/ Pintsize: Melodrama this good demands an audience!
/ Yellow Anthro PC: I am so YouTubing this when I get home.
/ White Anthro PC: Hey! Down in front! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=739# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SO LOUSY IN BED I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO SHACK UP WITH FAYE
/ Dora: WHAT?! YOU BASTARD!
/ Faye: DON'T YOU CALL THE MAN I LOVE A BASTARD, BITCH! / Dora: Oh yeah, that's JUST LIKE YOU. Act all nice to my face and then go behind my back and fuck my boyfriend!
/ Faye: Oh, he ain't YOUR boyfriend anymore. Your tiny little kumquat boobs just can't compare with THESE Georgia peaches. / Dora: Peaches? Ha! More like saggy bags of pork rinds, Princess Fattycakes. Marten might as well stick his dick in a tub of Crisco.
/ Faye: Better a tub of Crisco than a frigid gothgina! When you take your pants off a cloud of bats swarms from your crotch into the night sky! YOU HAVE STALAGMITES AND STALAGTITES! / Dora: Oh you WHORE. THAT DOES TI!
/ Faye: Gack! Leggo of me and fight fair, you skinny little corpse-skank!
/ Pintsize: Are they fighting for real now, or still faking it?
/ Marten: I don't know, and I don't care. This could only get sexier if there was mud or jello involved.
/ Green Pintsize: Or a donkey! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=740 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | TITLE BAR: Number 740: Strip 445 Finally Comes To Pass / PANEL 1
/ [[Marten, Dora, and Faye are standing in Marten and Faye's apartment. Marten is rolling his eyes and Dora and Faye look happy.]]
/ Marten: WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SO LOUSY IN BED I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO SHACK UP WITH FAYE
/ Dora: WHAT?! YOU BASTARD!
/ Faye: DON'T YOU CALL THE MAN I LOVE A BASTARD, BITCH! / PANEL 2
/ [[Marten is still rolling his eyes, Dora is pointing at Faye, Faye is pointing at herself]]
/ Dora: Oh yeah, that's JUST LIKE YOU. Act all nice behind my face and then go behind my back and fuck my boyfriend!
/ Faye: Oh, he ain't YOUR boyfriend anymore. Your tiny little kumquat boobs just can't compete with THESE Georgia peaches. / PANEL 3
/ [[Dora and Faye are facing each other]]
/ Dora: Peaches? Ha! More like saggy bags of pork rinds, Princess Fattycakes. Marten might as well stick his dick in a tub of Crisco.
/ Faye: Better a tub of Crisco than a frigid gothgina! When you take your pants off a cloud of bats swarms from your crotch into the night sky! YOU HAVE STALACTITES AND STALAGMITES! / PANEL 4
/ [[Marten is watching happily from the couch with Pintsize and the other AnthroPCs. Dora has Faye in a headlock.]]
/ Dora: Oh you WHORE. THAT DOES IT!
/ Faye: Gack! Leggo of me and fight fair, you skinny little corpse-skank!
/ Pintsize: Are they fighting for real now, or still faking it?
/ Marten: I don't know, and I don't care. This could only get sexier if there was mud or jello involved.
/ AnthroPC: Or a donkey! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=740# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: You know what, enough of this. GET OUT. JUST GET OUT!
/ Marten:(Is the part of the Sneaky Plan?)
/ Faye:(Yeah, just follow my lead.) / Faye: FINE, WE'RE LEAVING. SCREW YOU DORA! LET'S GO, MARTEN.
/ Marten: OKAY BUT YOU BETTER BE GONE WHEN WE BACK DORA, OR I'LL, uh, HIT YOU WITH A CHAIR OR SOMETHING.
/ Dora: WHATEVER, JUST LEAVE! / Faye:I KNEW SHE WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND OUR LOVE, MARTEN. LET'S GO DOWN TO THE DINER AND HAVE SLOPPY MAKEOUTS.
/ Marten: YOU KNOW I NEVER LIKED DORA ANYWAY. I WAS JUST IN IT FOR THE SEX. (How am i doing?)
/ Faye:(Your laying it on a little thick.) / Marten: OH YEAH BABY, YOU LIKE IT WHEN I LAY IT ON THICK. AND WHEN I SAY THICK I MEAN MY ENGORGED GENITALOA.
/ Faye: OH YES MARTEN, I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOUR HULKING MANHOOD.(Which you are going to LOSE when this is over.) http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=741 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 741: Engorged Is A Gross Word}} / Dora: You know what, enough of this.
/ GET OUT. JUST GET OUT!
/ [[Marten looks confusedly at Faye, they whisper to each other]]
/ Marten: Is this part of
/ the sneaky plan?
/ Faye: Yeah, just
/ follow my lead. / Faye: FINE, WE'RE LEAVING. SCREW YOU, DORA! LET'S GO, MARTEN.
/ [[Marten winks at Dora]]
/ Marten: OKAY BUT YOU BETTER
/ BE GONE WHEN WE GET BACK,
/ DORA, OR I'LL, uh, HIT YOU
/ WITH A CHAIR OR SOMETHING.
/ [[Dora smiles]]
/ Dora: WHATEVER, JUST LEAVE! / [[Faye and Marten have exited the apartment and are walking away]]
/ Faye: I KNEW SHE WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND OUR LOVE,
/ MARTEN. LET'S GO DOWN TO THE DINER
/ AND HAVE SLOPPY MAKEOUTS.
/ Marten: YOU KNOW I NEVER
/ REALLY LIKED DORA
/ ANYWAY. I WAS JUST
/ IN IT FOR THE SEX.
/ [[Marten turns to Faye and whispers]]
/ Marten: How am I doing?
/ [[Faye whispers]]
/ Faye: You're laying it
/ on a little thick. / Marten: OH YEAH BABY, YOU LIKE IT WHEN I
/ LAY IT ON THICK, AND WHEN I SAY "IT"
/ I MEAN MY ENGORGED GENITALIA.
/ [[Faye is getting annoyed]]
/ Faye: OH YES MARTEN, I CAN'T GET
/ ENOUGH OF YOUR HULKING MANHOOD.
/ [[Faye whispers]]
/ Faye: Which you are
/ going to LOSE when
/ this is over. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=741# |
| Number 742: Slayer Would Be More Appropriate Anyway | Faye: Quick, duck down this alley.
/ Martin: Huh? But it's a dead end.
/ Faye: I know just do it! / Martin: I'm still unclear on what this "Sneaky Plan" is supposed to accom-
/ << VROOOO >>
/ Faye: Excellent, Miss VespAvenger really WAS listening in on us. / Faye: Here, you'll need this. We planned ahead.
/ Martin: Wait, you WANTED her to hunt us down?
/ Faye: Hell yeah. Nobody inflicts violence upon my friends without my permission. She's in for a nasty suprise when she catches up to us. / Martin: I object to being used as psychopath bait!
/ Faye: You're honestly just figuring all this out now? Christ Marty, what did you THINK we were doing?
/ Matin: I dunno, performance are? Group shouting therapy? The pilot episode for some shitty teen drama?
/ Faye: We thought about doing number three, but couldn't afford to hire Death Cab For Cutie to do the soundtrack. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=742 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 742: Slayer Would Be More Appropriate Anyway}} / Faye: Quick, duck down this alley.
/ Marten: Huh? But it's
/ a dead end.
/ Faye: I know, just do it! / Marten: I'm still unclear on what
/ this "sneaky plan" is
/ supposed to accom-
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=742# |
| Number 743: Of Course Dora Would Use A Broom | [[Faye and Marten square off against VespAvenger in the blind alley.]]
/ VespAvenger: Normally I don't bother introducing myself to my quarry, but your little display of adultery and spite this evening was especially sordid.
/ VespAvenger: I am the VespAvenger. I right wrongs done to the hearts of innocent women. I am vengeance. I am the ni-
/ Faye: Skip it, toots. Your motorized vigilanteering ends tonight. / [[Angle change, to reveal Dora behind VespAvenger.]]
/ Dora: Let me guess, you live either upstairs or in the next building over, right? Or maybe you have their building bugged. Either way, you walked right into our little trap.
/ VespAvenger: Treachery! / [[Return to original angle, for rest of strip.]]
/ VespAvenger: Very well. If it's a fight you want, a fight you'll get. Prepare!
/ Marten: Wait! We don't want to fight, we just want you to stop being a psycho! Steve didn't deserve to be assaulted. What you're doing is WRONG.
/ Marten: Imagine a GUY who rode around on a Harley, beating up women who treated their boyfriends like crap. You'd be horrified, right? / VespAvenger: No, I'd want his phone number. I bet we'd hit it off!
/ Marten: Literally, I'm sure.
/ Faye: The problems of the world, in a nutshell. "Hey, I'm an extremist psychopath! Oh em gee, you are too? Sweet, let's make some babies!" http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=743 |
| Questionable Content | VespAvenger: Normally I don't bother introducing myself to my quarry, but your little display of adultery and spite this evening was especially sordid. / VespAvenger: I am the VespAvenger. I right wrongs done to the hearts of innocent women. I am vengeance. I am the ni- / Faye: Skip it, toots. Your motorized Vigilanteering ends tonight. / Dora: [[Behind the VespAvenger]] Let me guess, you live either upstairs or in the next building over, right? Or maybe you just have their building bugged. Either way, you walked right into our little trap. / VespAvenger: Treachery! / VespAvenger: Very well. If it's a fight you want, a fight you'll get. Prepare! / Marten: [[Holding out the stop sign]] Wait! We don't want to fight, we just want you to stop being a psycho! Steve didn't deserve to be assaulted. What you're doing is WRONG. / Marten: Imagine a GUY who rode up around on a Harley, beating up women who treated their boyfriends like crap. You'd be horrified, right? / VespAvenger: No, I'd want his phone number. I bed we'd hit it off! / Marten: Literally, I'm sure. / Faye: The problems of the world in a nutshell. "Hey, I'm an extremist psychopath! Oh em gee, you are too? Sweet, let's make some babies!" http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=743# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Faye and Marten confront the VespAvenger in a narrow alleyway. The VespAvenger is rolling up her sleeves in preparation for a fight.]]
/ VespAvenger: Enough talk. Let's get this fight over with.
/ Faye: You're outnumbered, surrounded, and in a dead-end alley. You don't stand a chance. Just give up! / [[The VespAvenger pumps her fists in the air excitedly.]]
/ VespAvenger: Hah! I've got a little surprise for you hapless fools! / VespAvenger: Eat THIS!
/ [[VespAvenger produces a remote control device and presses a button on it. The Vespa's theft alarm goes off.]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=744 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | VespAvenger: Enough talk.
/ Let's get this fight over with.
/ Faye: You're outnumbered, surrounded, and in a dead-end alley.
/ You don't stand a chance.
/ Just give up! / VespAvenger: Hah!
/ I've got a little surprise for you hapless fools. / VespAvenger: Eat THIS!
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=744# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | VespAvenger: Okay, THIS time it's on for real.
/ Faye: What's this button gonna do, turn on your headlight? Is toast gonna pop out of the engine compartment? The backseat flips up to reveal an adorable kitten? / SHUNK!
/ SHUNK! / DVVK! / SHUNK / ZLIK!
/ ZLIK! / Faye: All right! We're well and truly fucked.
/ Marten: And not the fun, slightly sticky kind of fucked!
/ Faye: That was TERRIBLE.
/ Marten: YOU try being funny when your like is flashing before your eyes! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=745 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Okay, THIS time it's on for real
/ What's this button gonna do, turn on your headlights? Is toast gonna pop out of the engine compartment? The backseat flips up to reveal an adorable kitten? / SHUNK! DVVVK! / SHUNK ZLIK! ZLIK! / All right! we're well and truly fucked
/ And not the fun, slightly sticky kind of fucked!
/ That was TERRIBLE.
/ YOU try being funny when your life is flashing before your eyes! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=745# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | ZOT!
/ Striking from behind is very dishonourable. I think we'll finish you off first. / GRAAAA / INITIATING/NON-LETHAL/DETERRANCE
/ CHOUGH!
/ WHUNK / HA/HA/HA/HA
/ Note to self: If we survive this, buy the boy a cup.
/ Metal foot! Metal foot... to... Mantenna array! Pain level... Shatnerian... in intensity! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=746 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | VespAvenger: Striking from behind is very dishonorable.
/ I think we'll finish you off first.
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=746# |
| Latin Humor | Vespavenger: Any last words?
/ Faye: Why are you grabbing my butt?
/ Dora: If I gotta go, I might as well go happy. / Vespavenger: Vespabot, set phasers to "disfiguring."
/ Vespabot: YES/MA'AM / [[A brick falls on Vespabot's head]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=747 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | VespAvenger: Any last words?
/ Faye: Why are you grabbing my butt?
/ Dora: If I gotta go, I might as well go happy. / VespAvenger: Vespabot, set phasers to "disfiguring."
/ Vespabot: YES/MA'AM / < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=747# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | VespAvenger: You...you may have destroyed vespabot, but you've still me to contend with!
/ Dora: All right, let's contend. / Marten: They'are beating her with her own helmet. How ironic. / Dora: Faye, go call the police. I'll keep an eye on Ms. Bitch here.
/ Faye: Aww, but I wanna punch her some more!
/ Dora: Go. Now.
/ Faye: Yes ma'am, please stop making the scary Dora face ma'am! / [[To Marten]] Dora: You okay, sweetie?
/ Marten: Yeah, I just feel kinda useless. I mean, I didn't really do anything to help save you...
/ Dora: Oh honey, you tried, that's what counts. And you did help! You, uh, lulled her into a false sense of security! That's important!
/ Marten: How would that translate back in caveman times? The sabre-toothed tiger is too busy laughing at my scrawny ass to notice you sneaking up behind it with a rock? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=748 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | VespAvenger: You... you may have destroyed Vespabot, but you've still me to contend with!
/ Dora: All right, let's contend. / < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=748# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Dark alley.]]
/ Faye: The po-po are here.
/ Dora: Sweet, thanks Faye.
/ O'Malley: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
/ Other Policeman: You ladies did a fine job tonight. We've been after this one for weeks now.
/ Other Policeman: You look like you could use a beer.
/ Martin: Heh, yeah I could.
/ Other Policeman: Want one? I got a cooler of cold brewskies in the trunk.
/ Martin: Wait, what? You're drinking on the job?
/ Other Policeman: It's cool, I'm not driving.
/ Other Policeman: O'Malley is driving. And he is HIGH as HELL.
/ O'Malley: < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=749 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: The po-po are here.
/ Dora: Sweet, thanks Faye. / Cop 1: You have the right to remain silent.
/ Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
/ Cop 2: You ladies did a fine job tonight.
/ We've been after this one for weeks now. / Cop 2: You look like you could use a cold beer.
/ Marten: Heh, yeah I could.
/ Cop 2: Want one?
/ I got a cooler of cold brewskies in the trunk.
/ Marten: Wait, what?
/ You're drinking on the job?
/ Cop 2: It's cool, I'm not driving. / Cop 2: O'Malley is driving.
/ And he is HIGH as HELL.
/ Cop 1: < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=749# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Random Alley]]
/ Cop: Oh great, the spooks are here.
/ Marten: Spooks? / Agent Turing: We'll take over from here, officer.
/ Cop: Okay, suit yourself.
/ Dora: Alan! I mean, uh, Agent Turing! / Agent Turing: I could have guessed you would be involved in this. We've got this girl busted on Illegal
/ Possession of a Combat Robot. Our satellites picked up the signature of its laser discharge. We'll be taking her into custody.
/ Faye: What're you going to do with her? She's not going to end up all Guantanamo'd with a hood over her head and 24-hour Bruce Springsteen marathons, is she? I wouldn't wish The Boss on my worst enemy. / Agent Turing: Hahah! No, we'll offer her a job in Research and Development and keep a close eye on her, ah, extracurricular activities.
/ Dora: You'd EMPLOY a violent psychopath?
/ Agent Turing: This IS the US Government we're talking about.
/ Faye: Point taken.
/ {{title text: There Is Probably a Band Named After the Geneva Convention}} http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=750 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Exterior of building, brick wall/ alley-way}}
/ Cop #1: Oh great, the spooks are here.
/ Martin: Spooks.
/ [[Spook, Agent Turing, enters]]
/ Agent Turing: We'll take over from here, officer.
/ Cop #1: Suit yerself.
/ Faye: Alan! I mean, uh, Agent Turing.
/ Agent Turing: I could have guessed ou would be involved in this. We've got this girl busted on Illegal Possession of a Combat Robot. Our satelleties picked up the signature of its laser discharge. We'll be taking her into custody.
/ Dora: What're you gonna do with her? She's not gonna end up all Guantanmo'd with a hood over her head and 24-hour Bruce Springsteen marathons, is she? I wouldn't wish The Boss on my worst enemy.
/ Agent Turing: Hahah! No, we'll offer her a gig in Research and Development and keep a close ee on her, ah, extracurricular activities.
/ Faye: You'd EMPLOY a violent psychopath?
/ Agent Turing: This *is* the US goverment we're talking about.
/ Dora: Point taken.
/ {{Comic title- Number 750: There is Probably A Band Named The Geneva Convention.}}
/ {{News-post- Before any of you sensitive-about-jokes-about-the-government folks send me cranky emails, I want you to take a deep breath, count to ten, and remember that it is a comic strip and should not be taken so seriously. Also, be thankful I didn't use the original punchline I had in mind. / For those of you who don't remember Agent Turing, you might wanna check out the Pintsize laser-removal storyline, starting here. God, my artwork was awful back then. I am sorry about that. / Okay that is it for this week. Enjoy the comic and I will see you tomorrow.}} http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=750# |
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