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| Number One: Employment Sucks | {{Title: Number One: Employment Sucks}} / Martin: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day?
/ Martin: It sucked. I hate my job. / Martin: After 8 hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life. I wish I knew what would cheer me up. / Pintsize: Hook me up to the monitor. I'll download you some nice, cheerful porn.
/ Martin: Ugh, that's like masturbating in front of the family dog. / {{Footer: Copyright 2003 J. Jacques}} http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1 |
| Number One: Employment Sucks | [[Marten's t-shirt: says "Teh"]]
/ Marten: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day?
/ Marten: It sucked. I hate my job. / Marten: After 8 hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life.
/ I wish I knew what could cheer me up. / Pintsize: Hook me up to the monitor. I'll download you some nice, cheerful porn.
/ Marten: Ugh. That's like masturbating in front of the family dog. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic1 |
| Number One: Employment Sucks | Marten: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day?
/ Marten: It sucked. I hate my job. / Marten: After 8 hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing eith idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life. I wish I knew what would cheer me up. / Pintsize: Hook me up to the monitor. I'll download you some nice, cheerful porn.
/ Marten: Ugh, that's like masterbating in front of the family dog. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=001 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day?
/ Marten: It sucked. I hate my job. / Marten: After eight hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life. I wish I knew what would cheer me up. / Pintsize: Hook me up to the monitor. I'll download you some nice, cheerful porn.
/ Marten: Ugh, that's like masturbating in front of the family dog. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=001# |
| Number One: Employment Sucks | Maten: hey Pintsize. I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day?
/ Marten: it sucked. I hate my job. / Marten: After 8 hours of sending faxes, likcing envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life I wish I knew what would cheer me up. / Pintsize: Hook me up to the monitor. I'll download you some nice, cheerful porn.
/ Marten: Ugh. that's like masturbating in front of the family dog. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=01 |
| #1: Employment Sucks | Panel 1
/ Marten: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Panel 2
/ Pintsize: You look sad. How was your day?
/ Marten: It sucked. I hate my job. / Panel 3
/ Marten: After 8 hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life. I wish i knew what would cheer me up. / Panel 4
/ Pintsize: Hook me up to the monitor. I'll download you some nice, cheerful porn.
/ Marten: Ugh. That's like masturbating in front of the family dog. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1 |
| Employment Sucks | Marten: Hey Pintsize, I'm home. / Pintsize: You look sad.
/ Pintsize: How was your day?
/ Marten: It sucked. I hate my job. / Marten: After 8 hours of sending faxes, licking envelopes, and dealing with idiotic people on the phone, a guy can get pretty unhappy about his lot in life.
/ Marten: I wish I knew what would cheer me up. / Pintsize: Hook me up to the monitor. I'll download you some nice, cheerful porn.
/ Marten: Ugh, that's like masturbating in front of the family dog. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1# |
| Number Two: While You Were Out... | {{Title: Number Two: While You Were Out...}} / Martin: I'm going out to the bar. I should be back in a couple hours.
/ Pintsize: What should I do while you're gone? / Martin: Well what do you usually do when I'm not home?
/ Pintsize: Sometimes I calculate prime numbers, but usually I just run the SETI screensaver until I get sleepy and go into standby mode. It gets lonely by myself. / Martin: Don't you have other computer friends you can talk to? You do have a wireless Internet connection, you know. / Marvin: And look on the bright side- you don't have to worry about drinking too much and puking for the rest fo the night.
/ Pintsize: Three-hour conversations about the latest Intel chipsets are enough to make me spew my RAM all over the place. / {{Footer: Copyright 2003 J. Jacques}} http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=2 |
| Number Two: While You Were Out... | Panel 1
/ Marten: I'm going out to the bar. I should be back in a couple hours.
/ Pintsize: What should I do while you're gone? / Panel 2
/ Marten: Well what do you usually do when I'm not home?
/ Pintsize: Sometimes I calculate prime numbers, but usually I just run the SETI screensaver until I get sleepy and go into standby mode. It gets lonely by myself. / Panel 3
/ Marten: Don't you have other computer friends you can talk to? You do have a wireless internet connection, you know. / Panel 4
/ Marten: And look on the bright side- you don't hvae to worry about drinking too much and puking for the rest of the night.
/ Pintsize: Three-hour conversations about the latest Intel chipsets are enough to make me spew my RAM all over the place. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{ Number Two: While You Were Out... }}
/ Marten: I'm going out to the bar. I should be back in a couple hours.
/ Pintsize: What should I do while you're gone? / Marten: Well what do you usually do when I'm not home?
/ Pintsize: Sometimes I calculate prime numbers, but usually I just run the SETI screensaver until I get sleepy and go into standby mode. It gets lonely by myself. / Marten: Don't you have other computer friends you can talk to? you do have a wireless Internet connection, you know. / Marten: And look on the bright side- you don't have to worry about drinking too much and puking for the rest of the night.
/ Pintsize: Three-hour conversations about the latest Intel chipsets are enough to make me spew my RAM all over the place. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2# |
| Number Three: True Professionals | {{Title: Number Three: True Professionals}} / Steve: Dude, if you hate your job so much why don't you just quit?
/ Martin: I dunno... / Martin: Any other place willing to hire me would probably suck just as much. I don't know what I want to do for a living, I don't want to go back to school, and even if I did want to I don't know what I would study. / Steve: If only indie girls would pay you to stare at them but never work up the courage to actually say hello. You'd be a millionaire.
/ Martin: I could make business cards! "Marten Reed, Professional Indie Ogler." / {{Footer: Copyright 2003 J. Jacques}} http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=3 |
| Number 3: True Professionals | [In the pub]
/ Steve: Dude, if you hate your job so much, why don't you just quit?
/ Marten: I dunno... / Marten: Any other place willing to hire me would probably suck just as much. I don't know what I want to do for a living. I don't want to go back to school, and even if I did want to I don't know what I would study. / [Faye walks by, Marten and Steve watch] / Steve: If only Indie girls would pay you to stare at them but never work up the courage to actually say hello. You'd be a millionare.
/ Marten: I could make buisiness cards! "Marten Reed, Professional Indie Ogler." http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3 |
| Number Four: Faye Cuts to the Chase | {{Title: Number Four: Faye Cuts to the Chase}} / Faye: So, why DO you indie boys never work up the guts to talk to girls?
/ Marten: ...guh? / Faye: It sounds like you're only capable of stuttering unintelligibly right now, so I'll explain myself. My name's Faye, and I'm new in town. I don't have any friends here yet, so I was wondering if maybe you'd want to hang out sometime. Just friends, though - no romance. Does that make any sense? I just wanted to get all teh awkward crap out of the way if we're gonna be friends. / Marten: Well, Steve and I were just gonna head back to my place and play video games. You're welcome to come along if you want.
/ Faye: Okay, sounds like fun. Any other awkward stuff to get out of the way first? / Marten: Are we allowed to lust after you in secret?
/ Faye: If I sense any lusting, I will stab you and then poop in the wound.
/ Steve: Your drawers are safe as Fort Knox. / {{Footer: Copyright 2003 J. Jacques}} http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=4 |
| Number 4: Faye Cuts to the Chase | Panel 1
/ Faye: So, why DO you indie boys never work up the guts to talk to girls?
/ Marten: ...guh? / Panel 2
/ Faye: It sounds like you're only capable of stuttering unintelligibly right now, so I'll explain myself. My name's Faye, and I'm new in town. I don't have any friends here yet, so I was wondering if maybe you'd want to hang out sometime. Just friends, though- no romance. Does that make any sense? I just wanted to get all the awkward crap out of the way if we're gonna be friends. / Panel 3
/ Marten: Well, Steve and I were just gonna head back to my place and play video games. You're welcome to come along if you want.
/ Faye: Okay, sounds like fun. Any other awkward stuff to get out of the way first? / Panel 4
/ Marten: Are we allowed to lust after you in secret?
/ Faye: If I sense any lusting, I will stab you and then poop in the wound.
/ Steve: Your drawers are safe as Fort Knox. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{ Number Four: Faye Cuts to the Chase }}
/ Faye: So why DO you indie boys never work up the guts to talk to girls?
/ Marten: ...guh? / Faye: It sounds like you're only capable of stuttering unintelligibly right now, so I'll explain myself. My name's Faye, and I'm new in town. I don't have any friends here yet, so I was wondering if maybe you'd want to hang out sometime. Just friends, though- no romance. Does that make any sense? I just wanted to get all the awkward crap out of the way if we're gonna be friends. / Marten: Well, Steve and I were just gonna head back to my place and play video games. You're welcome to come along if you want.
/ Faye: Okay, sounds like fun. Any other awkward stuff to get out of the way first? / Marten: Are we allowed to lust after you in secret?
/ Faye: If I sense any lusting, I will stab you and then poop in the wound.
/ Steve: Your drawers are safe as Fort Knox. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4# |
| Number Five: Chicks Dig Disc Drives | {{Title: Number Five: Chicks Dig Disc Drives}} / Marten: So, uh, this is my place. You have ten seconds to guess my favorite color. Here's a hint: It is the favorite color of depressed people!
/ Faye: Haha, gee could it be blue? / Faye: Ooh, you have an AnthroPC! He's so cute! What's your name little guy?
/ Pintsize: I'm Pintsize. Nice to meet you.
/ Faye: So can you do all that crazy holographic stuff the AnthroPCs in the commercials can do? / Pintsize: Well, I'm a pretty basic model, so I don't have much of that fancy stuff. This is pretty much the coolest thing I can do.
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=5 |
| Number 5: Chicks Dig Disk Drives | PANEL 1
/ Marten:So, uh, this is my place. You have ten seconds to guess my favorite color.
/ Steve: Here's a hint: It is the favorite color of depressed people!
/ Faye: Haha, gee could it be... blue? / PANEL 2
/ Faye: Ooh, you have an AnthroPC! He's so cute! What's your name, little guy?
/ Pintsize: I'm Pintsize. Nice to meet you.
/ Faye: So can you do all that crazy holographic stuff the AntroPCs in the commercials can do? / PANEL 3 / Pintsize: Well, I'm a pretty baisic model, so I don't have much of that fancy stuff. This is pretty much the coolest thing I can do.
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{ Number Five: Chicks Dig Disc Drives }}
/ Marten: So, uh, this is my place. You have ten seconds to guess my favorite color.
/ Steve (off-panel): Here's a hint: It is the favorite color of depressed people!
/ Faye: Haha, gee could it be... blue? / Faye: Ooh, you have an AnthroPC! He's so cute! What's your name, little guy?
/ Pintsize: I'm Pintsize. Nice to meet you.
/ Faye: So can you do all that crazy holographic stuff the AntroPCs {{sic}} in the commericals {{sic}} can do? / Pintsize: Well, I'm a pretty basic model, so I don't have much of that fancy stuff. This is pretty much the coolest thing I can do.
/ [[ pushes button on midriff ]]<< beep >> / << bzzzk >>[[ cd-ish disc ejects from Pintsize's midriff ]] / Faye: OH MY GOD CUTEST TIHNG EVAR {{sic}} !!!
/ Marten: Funny, when I do that girls usually call the police.
/ Pintsize: You don't have my raw electromagnetism. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5# |
| Number 6: The Hazards of Internal Monologue | Panel 1
/ Marten: Holy crap, there's a hot girl in my apartment. Been a while since THAT'S happened. Of course she's not interested in me, but hey what can you do... / Panel 2
/ Faye: You can get me a glass of water is what you can do.
/ Marten: Gah! I uh duh buh YES WATER RIGHT / Panel 3
/ Marten: Oh man I am such an idiot. She totally heard me talking to myself just now. Way to go, Marten, you've made a total ass of yourself. Speaking of asses, Faye's got one hell of a nice-
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=6 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{ Number Six: The Hazards of Internal Monologue }}
/ [[ Marten in kitchen facing open refrigerator ]]
/ Marten: Holy crap, there's a hot girl in my apartment. Been a while since THAT'S happened. Of course, she's not interested in me, but hey what can you do... / [[ Faye behind Marten at entrance to kitchen ]]
/ Faye: You can get me a glass of water is what you can do.
/ Marten: Gah! I uh duh buh YES WATER RIGHT / [[ Close up of Marten and fridge; sound rising from below ]]<< FSSSSHHH >>
/ Marten: Oh man I am such an idiot. She totally heard me talking to myself just now. Way to go, Marten, you've made a total ass of yourself.
/ Marten: Speaking of asses, Faye's got one hell of a nice- / [[ Marten turned around facing Faye holding out glass of water ]]
/ Faye: I'm still right here, you know.
/ Marten: Gah! Dammit! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=6# |
| Questionable Content | Number 7: Indie Bonding / TRANSCRIPT: / PANEL 1 / Faye: I like this song. Who is this? / Marten: Enon. The guy for Brainiac's new band. / Steve: I will destroy you at this game! / PANEL 2 / Faye: Ah, out comes the indie cred. / Marten: No, no, I'm just a music nerd, not some elitist hipster jerk. / Steve: Hah! Round one is mine! / PANEL 3
/ Marten: Hey have you heard of Broken Social Scene? / Faye: Yeah! Their record is totally the best of the year. They are TOTALLY rad/ / Steve: Once again I am victorious! / PANEL 4 / Marten: Wow, an indie girl who knows her shit. I though you all just faked it to look good at shows. / Faye: I don't NEED to fake it to look good. / Steve: Face it, you're no match for a human opponent. / Pintsize: That's because I don't have thumbs! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=7 |
| Number 8: Sexy Ports | PANEL 1
/ Faye: I had fun tonight. We should do this again sometime.
/ Steve: You're welcome to hang out anytime.
/ Marten: 'Night, kids. / PANEL 2
/ Pintsize: Fay is nice. Is she going to be your girlfriend now?
/ Marten: Heh. No, she said she wasn't interested. / PANEL 3
/ Pintsize: I'm sorry. You look disappointed.
/ Marten: Yeah, I guess I am. Which is fucked up, because I should be happy to at least have made a new friend. / PANEL 4
/ Pintsize: Faye said I was cute. Maybe she'll be MY girlfriend!
/ Marten: What the hell would you do with a human girlfriend?
/ Pintsize: I would... uh... that is she could, um, play with my ethernet port?
/ Marten: Okay that is sad and a little disturbing. I'm going to bed. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=8 |
| Number Nine: Two Ships Passing In Broad Daylight | PANEL 1
/ Marten: Two extra-large mochas, please.
/ Sara: Need the caffeine, huh? That'll be $7.50. / PANEL 2
/ Sara: (thinking) This guy's pretty cute. Rockin' the starving emo boy look. I bet he gets all the girls. / PANEL 3
/ Marten: (thinking) Jesus, she's cute. Rockin' the fashionable without being a hipster look. I bet dudes totally hit on her all the time at work. / PANEL 4
/ Sara: Is there anything else you need?
/ Marten: (thinking) I need to ask you out.
/ Sara: (thinking) You need to ask me out. / PANEL 5
/ Marten: Uh... nah, that's it...
/ Sara: Okay, have a nice day then...
/ Marten: (thinking) Dammit!
/ Sara: (thinking) Dammit! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=9 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Hi Sara, sorry I'm late. Has it been busy?
/ Sara: Nah, just the usual Saturday crowd... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=10 |
| Coffeeshop Lust | PANEL 1 / Faye: Hi Sara, sorry I'm late. Has it been busy?
/ Sara: Nah, just the usual Saturday crowd... http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=10 |
| Number Ten: Coffeeshop Lust | Faye: Hi Sara, sorry I'm late. Has it been busy?
/ Sara: Nah, just the usual Saturday crowd... < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=10# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: What am I doing with my life?
/ Pintsize: Well, right now you're watching Cartoon Network and moping, just like you do every Saturday afternoon. / Marten: No, I mean what's the point? Why do I get to go to a job I hate five days a week only to spend every weekend dreading the coming monday?
/ Pintsize: Hehe, yeah, that does sound like a pretty empty, pointless existence. / [[Marten glares hatefully at pintsize:]] / Marten: You're not helping, you know.
/ Pintsize: Wait, I'm supposed to be HELPING? http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=11 |
| Number Eleven: The Wrong Thing At The Wrong Time | PANEL 1
/ Marten: What am I doing with my life?
/ Pintsize: Well, right now you're watching Cartoon Network and moping, just like you do every Saturday afternoon. / PANEL 2
/ Marten: No, I mean what's the point? Why do I get to go to a job I hate five days a week only to spend every weekend dreading the coming Monday?
/ Pintsize: Hehe, yeah, that does sound like a prety empty, pointless existence. / PANEL 3
/ Pregnant pause:... /
/ PANEL 4
/ Marten: You're not helping, you know.
/ Pintsize: Wait, I'm supposed to be HELPING? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=11 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten is at home, wearing a "TEH" t-shirt]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=12 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | TITLE BAR: Number Twelve: In The Interest Of Faye's Safety / PANEL 1 / [sound] Knock, Knock,Knock / PANEL 2 / [Marten] Oh, hi Faye.
/ [Faye] I am bored and ravenous. Come have dinner with me. / PANEL 3 / [Faye] Woops, cell phone.
/ [sound] ring,ring,ring / PANEL 4 / [Faye] Hello? Oh, hey mom. Nothing much, just going out to dinner with a friend. Yes, a boy. No, it's not a date. NO, I didn't bring the tazer. Mom, he's not a serial rapist, he's a nice guy. Okay I have to go. Bye mom / PANEL 5 / [Marten] Wow, is your mom always that concerned for your personal safety?
/ [Faye] You're lucky she's not here in person. You'd have been maced for walking so close to me. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=12 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten and Faye are walking the street, Marten wearing a "TEH" t-shirt, Faye wearing a white tank top. They are walking by some shop, which has following signs in its display window: "BUY SOME CRAP!" and "Merchandise is certainly for sale here!". Shop door has a "CLOSED" sign on it.]]
/ Faye: Hey, wanna see my patented method for getting someone's attention? / Marten: Okay, sure. / [[Faye pinches Marten's left nipple through his t-shirt.]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=13 |
| Number Thirteen: Achtung Nippel | PANEL 1
/ Faye: Hey, wanna see my patented method for getting someone's attention?
/ [[Signs: BUY SOME CRAP!
/ Merchandise is... certainly... sale here!]] / PANEL 2
/ Marten: Okay, sure. / PANEL 3
/ [[Faye pinches Marten's nipple]]
/ Marten: OW! / PANEL 4
/ Marten: Jesus Christ, whatever happened to a gentle tap on the shoulder?
/ Faye: It is impossible to ignore a girl who has your nipple in her vicelike grip. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=13 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten and Faye are walking the street. Marten has his "TEH" t-shirt, Faye is in her white tank top.]]
/ Faye: So, where are we going to eat? / Marten: Have you ever been to the Irony Cafe? It's really good. / Marten: They advertise as a "vegan" restaurant but serve steak and hamburgers.
/ Faye: That is both amazing and briliant. / Marten: You should see the horrified looks on hippies' faces when they read the menu!
/ [[Faye slaps her fist into palm of the other hand menacingly.]]
/ Faye: Hit 'em where it hurts- in their pretentious, misguided personal politics! / {{title text: Number Fourteen: Vegan Beef}} http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=14 |
| Number Fourteen: Vegan Beef | PANEL 1
/ Faye: So, where are we going to eat? / PANEL 2
/ Marten: Have you ever been to the Irony Cafe? It's really good. / PANEL 3
/ Marten: They advertise as a "vegan" restaurant but serve steak and hamburgers.
/ Faye: That is both amazing and brilliant. / PANEL 4
/ Marten: You should see the horrified looks on hippies' faces when they read the menu!
/ Faye: Hit 'em where it hurts- in their pretentious, misguided personal politics! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=14 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Inside the Ironic Cafe restaurant. Waitress is ready to take customer's order.]]
/ Customer: I can't believe you people serve lobster here! Boiling them alive in their shells... it's cruel and disgusting! / [[Waitress walks away.]]
/ Customer: That's right, walk away you filthy animal torturer! Go free those innocent animals that that you are exploiting! / [[Waitress returns with a live lobster on a plate.]]
/ Waitress: Here, I freed this one. He's all yours. / [[Lobster grabs strand of customer's hair, which runs away past arriving Marten and Faye, screaming.]]
/ Customer: AAAA GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=15 |
| Number Fifteen: More Vegan Humor | PANEL 1
/ Customer: I can't believe you people serve lobster here! Boiling them alive in their shells... it's cruel and disgusting! / PANEL 2
/ Customer: That's right, walk away you filthy animal torturer! Go free those innocent animals that you are exploiting! / PANEL 3
/ Waitress: Here, I freed this one. He's all yours. / PANEL 4
/ Customer: AAAA GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=15 |
| Questionable Content | {{title text: Number Sixteen: You're Ruining The Moment}} / Narrator: Questionable Content Presents:
/ Narrator: The Four Types of Annoying Concert-Goers / Narrator: The Fashion Whore
/ [[The Fashion Whore has black hair, black eyebrows, and a black goatee, and wears black sunglasses and a dark brown shirt. He's standing on the left, behind Marten]]
/ Fashion whore: I'd dance, but it would ruin my perfectly-tousled hair. / Narrator: The Chatterboxes
/ [[The talking chatterbox has blonde spiky hair, a red T-shirt with a yellow star on it, and a choker around her neck. Her friend is wearing a blue sweater. They're standing on the left, behind Marten]]
/ Chatterbox: Oh my God so she was like totally cheating on Scott with time and he had no idea but he was really hooking up with Carol anyway so I said to Julie... / Narrator: The One-Man Mosh Pit
/ [[The One-Man Mosh Pit has brown hair and a black shirt with a chest pocket, is throwing 'the horns' \m/ with one hand, and shoving Marten with the other]]
/ One-Man Mosh Pit: WOOOOO ROCKANDROLL!!!
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=16 |
| Questionable Content: New Comics every Monday through Friday | Title Bar: 16: You're Ruining the Moment / Panel 1 / Announcer : Questionable Content Presents The Four Types of Annoying Concert-Goers / Panel 2 / The Fashion Whore: I'd dance, but it would ruin my perfectly-tousled hair. / Panel 3 / The Chatterboxes : Oh my God so she was like totally cheating on Scott with time and he had no idea but he was really hooking up with Carol anyway so I said to Julie... / Panel 4 / The One-Man Mosh Pit : WOOOOO ROCKANDROLL!!! / Panel 5 / The Frontline Soldier : Come on man let me up to the front my friends are up there give me a break man me through don't be a dick come on / Martin : Please, don't be any of these people. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=16 |
| Number Seventeen: The Horror | PANEL 1
/ Faye: You know what I really hate?
/ Martin: Mm? / PANEL 2
/ Faye: When you're pooping and it burns and you know you'll have to wipe like 40 times to get clean. / PANEL 3
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=17 |
| Number Eighteen: Children Do Not Belong There | Faye: Whoo, I am STUFFED.
/ Marten: I was doing well, until you started talking about pooping and your butt and stuff. / Faye: Oh don't be such a wimp. Besides, guys are totally obsessed with girls asses anyway.
/ Marten: How so? / Faye: Look at any hardcore porno flick. 75% of them are like all anal all the time! Dudes are all about the butt-sex.
/ Marten: Eww, not THIS dude. / Marten: One of the core tenets of my sex life is "No poo-poo on the pee-pee."
/ Faye: How nice, you've condensed it into terms a four year old could understand.
/ Marten: Another one of my core tenets is "No four year olds on the pee-pee." http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=18 |
| Number Nineteen: Better Than A Roll Of Dimes | PANEL 1
/ Faye: Hey, thanks for having dinner with me. It was really good.
/ Marten: No problem! I had a good time too. / PANEL 2
/ Faye: It's so nice to have a friend in this town to hang out with. / PANEL 3
/ [[Faye looks surprised]] / PANEL 4
/ Faye: I'm just going to pretend that a roll of quarters in your pocket is what I feel poking into my hip.
/ Marten: OH UH YES IT IS LAUNDRY NIGHT FOR ME HA HA HA http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=19 |
| Number Twenty: Not As Good As Pie | PANEL 1
/ Marten: Pintsize, I'm home. /
/ PANEL 2
/ Marten: Wha-
/ Pintsize: I'm eating cake mix! / PANEL 3
/ [[Marten in classic thinking position]] / PANEL 4 / Marten: I'm tempted to just put you in the oven and then eat you.
/ Pintsize: I would be DELICIOUS. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=20 |
| Number Twenty-One: The Death Penalty | PANEL 1
/ Marten: So it turns out he was eating cake mix all night while I was out with Faye. I'm almost done cleaning him out now.
/ Pintsize: It was delicious but it gave me indigestion. / PANEL 2
/ Steve: Come on Pintsize, that's no way to get aHEAD in life. / PANEL 3
/ Pintsize: I don't know what came over me! I just completely lost my HEAD! / PANEL 4
/ Steve: If you learn from your mistakes you'll be making good HEADway!
/ Pintsize: Look at me, I'm John the Baptist!
/ Marten: I am going to murder the both of you. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=21 |
| Number Twenty-Two: The Most Dangerous Toast | PANEL 1
/ Marten: Wha? / PANEL 2
/ Marten: Faye? What's wrong?
/ Faye: Marten, can I ask a HUGE favor of you? Could I maybe stay at your place for a little while? My apartment building burned down. / PANEL 3
/ Marten: It BURNED DOWN? What happened?
/ Faye: Well, let's just say that I'm not very good at making toast. / PANEL 4
/ Marten: YOU burned your apartment down?
/ Faye: Not completely! I mean, there was still ONE wall standing when I left... http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=22 |
| Number Twenty-Three: Instant Hysterics | PANEL 1
/ Faye: You're sure it's okay that I stay here? I really hate to impose on you.
/ Marten: Don't worry about it. It's the least I can do. / PANEL 2
/ Faye: Heh, my mom would completely lose her shit if she found out I was staying with some boy.
/ Marten: Better not let her find out then. / PANEL 3
/ Marten: What are you doing? / PANEL 4
/ Faye: Calling my mom. Sending her into fits of hysterics is my little way of saying "I love you."
/ Marten: Just don't give her my address. I don't want her breaking in and murdering me in my sleep. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=23 |
| Guest Strip Extravanga: Knights of the Old Do It Your Fucking Self | PANEL 1
/ Marten: Is it just me, or is KotOR a tad overrated?
/ Steve: How do you mean? / PANEL 2
/ Marten: Don't get me wrong - strutting around the galaxy with a lightsaber in each hand is about as pimp as it gets
/ Steve: Did you just say "pimp"?
/ Marten: - it's just that everywhere I go people want me to help them with something.
/ Steve: That's true. / PANEL 3
/ Martin: I just feel like, "find your own goddamn ewok shoes, I've got a galaxy to save and/or destroy!"
/ Pintsize: [Instruction]: Do not under-estimate the power of the DarkSide, meat-bag. / PANEL 4
/ Steve: Sorry, what was that?
/ Pintsize: Nothing. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=24 |
| 25 : The Look Of Doom | PANEL 1
/ Faye: Like my new haircut?
/ Marten: Looks nice. I was wondering where you ran off to. / PANEL 2
/ Marten: As for sleeping arrangements, you can have my bed. I'll sleep on the couch.
/ Faye: No way! You sleep in your bed. I'm being intrusive enough already.
/ Marten: It's no probem, really. You take the bed. / PANEL 3
/ Pintsize: Why don't you two just share the bed? / PANEL 4
/ [[Faye glares at Marten. Marten gives chagrined smile.]] / PANEL 5
/ Marten: Wait for her to blink, then make a run for it.
/ Pintsize: Affirmative. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=25 |
| Number Twenty-Six: Dress Code | PANEL 1
/ Faye: So is it just me, or is the concept of "indie cred" completely retarded?
/ Marten: I know what you mean. / PANEL 2
/ Marten: Why should it matter how popular my favorite band is, or whether I bought my jeans at The Gap or the Salvation Army? / PANEL 3
/ Faye: You buy clothes from The Gap? / PANEL 4
/ Marten: Don't you smirk at me. I saw the Express Jeans tag sticking up from the back of your trousers.
/ Faye: Ah ha! I KNEW you've been secretly peeking at my bottom! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=26 |
| Number Twenty-Seven: No Love For The Emo | PANEL 1
/ Faye: So if you could beat up any emo band, who would you beat up?
/ Marten: Oh, definitely the dude from Dashboard Confessional. He seriously needs to stop whining about how some girl dumped him. / PANEL 2
/ Marten: I'd also kick Jeremy Enigk's ass for making every Sunny Day Real Estate album since Diary. They should have just stopped then.
/ Faye: Seriously! You got it right, guys. Stop trying! / PANEL 3
/ Faye: I'd assault From Autumn To Ashes for having the most stereotypically bad emo band name ever.
/ Marten: Hehe. From Autumn To Beatings! / PANEL 4
/ Faye: I would also totally kick Cono Oberst's ass just for having that ridiculous hairdo.
/ Marten: Is he the dude from Bright Eyes? I always confuse him with Winona Ryder. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=27 |
| Number Twenty-Eight: Drama! | PANEL 1
/ Faye: Thanks again for letting me stay at your place, Marten.
/ Marten: It's no problem, you can stay as long as you want. / PANEL 2
/ Marten: So I'll meet you here at 5:30 and then we'll go grab some dinner, ok?
/ Faye: Sounds great! / PANEL 3
/ Sara: Had a busy weekend, eh?
/ Faye: Oh man, you have NO idea. That was the boy I was telling you about the other day! / PANEL 4
/ Faye: And judging by your icy glare, he also happens to be the boy you've been lusting after for the past few weeks.
/ Sara: Bingo.
/ Faye: Shit.
/ Sara: Bingo again. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=28 |
| Number Twenty-Nine: Only Sort Of Relieved | PANEL 1
/ Sara: I can't believe my luck. It figures that the one boy I have the hots for would be seduced by a coworker.
/ Faye: Sara, listen to me. I didn't seduce him. / PANEL 2
/ Faye: My apartment BURNED DOWN. I'm staying at his place becase I have nowhere else to go and he was kind enough to offer me his couch to sleep on. It's completely platonic. / PANEL 3
/ Sara: http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=29 |
| Number Thirty: Sudden Realizations | PANEL 1
/ Sara: Marten? Hi, my name's Sara. I just wanted to get something off my chest. / PANEL 2:
/ Sara: I've had a crush on you ever since you started coming in here. I was going to finally ask you out tonight, but I was thinking about it today and I realized something. It's not you as a PERSON that I've got a crush on, but the abstract concept of a "cute indie boy" that you represent.
/ Sara: It wouldn't be fair to hold you to some impossible standard, so I think it's best if I don't go out with you after all. / PANEL 3:
/ Sara: I wanted to thank you for helping me realize this. I feel a lot better now, about myself and about everything. Thank you. / PANEL 4:
/ Marten: What the fuck?
/ Faye: You almost had a date! But you got dumped at the last minute in favor of an epiphany. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=30 |
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